~~~~
I'll tell you something
I am a wolf but
I like to wear sheep's clothing
I am a bonfire
I am a vampire
I'm waiting for my moment
[Temptation Waits - Garbage]
~~~~
All Wolfwood could think was that Vash the Stampede was the most pathetic fool he had ever met. His mind ran around in circles but it all came down to that, as the miserable sobs met his ears - Vash was a fool, fool, fool. How many people could manage to get roughed up while the battle was being broadcast to an entire city, whispering their ideals while getting the shit beaten out of themselves? The priest stabbed angrily a the bowl of ramen in his arms as Vash's protest rang out.
"Don't kill him! Don't kill him!"
Vash was an idiot. Gritting his teeth, Wolfwood tried to block out the sounds of the beating above, the sickening sound of flesh on flesh and then the crunch of a body into control panels... *Damn* him. Why the hell had Vash had to do this, throw himself into the middle of everything?
Why did he have to be so stupid? Why did he have do be such a fucking angel, saving everyone all the time?
The bowl in his hands cracked and Wolfwood snapped an obscenity as hot soup coursed down his hand, burning the skin.
He had never loved someone in the way he loved Vash. Because *he did* love that blonde, no matter how many barriers he erected around his heart, the Stampede had shoved them aside.
And when Vash retreated from the building, and the crowd ebbed fearfully around him, refusing to meet his eyes, Wolfwood stood, stepping over the cracked remains of his bowl of ramen and coming to Vash's side. Offering a hand. Sliding his arm around the blonde's waist and helping him stand because nobody else could bring themselves to care...
Nobody but two girls, one tall and one quite short, appeared out of the crowd of people.
"M...Mister priest! Mister priest!"
"VASH!"
~~~~
~~~~
The suns were setting.
Like paint sloshed across the landscape of the world, touching everything and brushing across the planet, brushing and warm. It glowed and Wolfwood couldn't help but noticing the way it played across Vash and pulled him into it's light, his yellow spikes and peachy skin blending with the sky far more than the priest had thought possible. He was...natural. A part of things in a way that the shorter insurance woman next to him was not.
Wolfwood shifted as she handed Vash a handkerchief and he pressed it to his swollen cheek, saying nothing to her. Simply sitting by his side, her gaze ever so often flickering across his as they watched the suns set.
It was painfully obvious to Wolfwood that Meryl was in love with him, and when Milly tugged on his sleeve and whispered that they should leave the two alone, he reluctantly gave in, wondering to himself. Vash...
It settled heavily in the pit of Wolfwood's stomach in a way that disgusted him, and made him slightly angry. He had no right to care about who Vash chose to spend time with, and it would certainly be better for both of them if Vash would fall in love with another... But that heavy, aching feeling would not go away, it simply coiled about in the pit of his stomach, foreign. What was it?
"Mister Priest?"
"Yeah, pretty lady?" Wolfwood drawled, glancing over at Milly. The girls had found a small car that would seat the four of them, and insisted that Vash use that instead of Wolfwood's rickety bike. Wolfwood had responded that no, Vash could stay with him and the girls could manage the car on their own, and Vash had listened silently before killing the debate by flopping down in the dirt and staring into the suns.
That apathy made the priest nervous. "Has Mister Vash been this sad all the while we were gone?" Milly asked, eyes wide with fear. "He..."
"Nah," Wolfwood looped an arm around her shoulders and was rewarded with a faint blush and a timid smile, one that made him smirk around his cigarette. "Tongari only gets depressed when he has to see the way the world really is. Most of the time he can ignore it."
Milly gave him a worried look, and Wolfwood ruffled her hair absently - she smelled soft and warm, in a way that Vash didn't - she felt human. He liked that, it reminded him of his home - and with that reminder of other times came the familiar satisfaction of seeing a woman smile, of embarrassing and teasing.
Flirting.
Made him think of Midvalley, for some reason.
Wolfwood closed his eyes, hidden behind the thick black of his sunglasses and tried to force the weight of the past away.
How could Vash bear it at all?
~~~~
You come on like a drug
I just can't get enough
I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more
and there's so much at stake
I can't afford to waste
I've never needed anybody like this before
~~~~
"No...n-no...please..."
Nicholas D. Wolfwood woke that night, and for a long moment he wasn't sure what had jerked him out of slumber. Blinking blearily it took him a moment to realize that he was on the floor, not at all wrapped in the warm covers, and that Vash was moaning harshly into his pillow.
"Don't..."
The priest blinked, then swore. That stupid blonde had *kicked* him off the bed, after the miserable two hours it had taken him to finally get to sleep! With a grunt he pulled himself up, head spinning and mouth sour, ready to all but throw Vash back to the other side of the bed.
"....Knives...."
Wolfwood froze as that name was breathed into the room, bringing a cold rush to the pit of his stomach. Slowly, unable to move faster than what certainly seemed like a crawl, Wolfwood turned and stared hard at Vash, his heart racing.
"Brother...stop, please - please - no..." Vash's fists were balled, his knees tucked up close, and tears were speckling the corners of his eyes - mouth half-parted, cheeks flushed, and his moans far, far too obscene for Wolfwood's mind to ignore.
Swearing at the effect the sound had on him, Wolfwood pushed Vash back against the covers and settled down on the bed next to him, holding his temples in his hands. It didn't appear that he would be getting any sleep tonight...
The blonde had simply turned those aquamarine eyes on him, more deadly than any gun, and Wolfwood had cracked - 'I'm cold,' he'd said, 'stay with me?' and the priest had been unable to formulate a response and had instead settled on the cushions next to Vash, damned to listening to soft breathing until his body could calm enough to relax into sleep - and now he was awake again thanks to Vash's overactive imagination!
He ground his teeth with irritation until Vash let out a muffled shout into his pillow and bucked sharply, bringing his waist against Wolfwood's back - the priest's eyes widened impossibly as he realized what had just brushed against him, painfully obvious with only the cloth of Vash's boxers between him and Wolfwood's backside. The *hell?*
At the exact same time, a little piece fell into place. Wolfwood, with a rush of shock that bordered on illness, realized what Vash was dreaming about, and part of the reason why he was running from Knives with all of his soul.
"Wake up!" Wolfwood turned, ignoring the heat against his thigh and the burning, disgusted thoughts that were filling his mind, "Vash, wake up! Tongari, you fucking idiot, wake up right now-"
"STOP!" A broad right cross sent Wolfwood slamming across the floor, his head cracking sharply into the night stand next to the bed. For a long moment there was utter silence as Vash shifted against the sheets, then Wolfwood opened his mind and managed to focus on the terrified look on the blonde's face.
"Jeez, you can punch," the priest whispered.
Vash let out a sort of half-sob, and fell back into the covers, rolling over until he was pressed against the far wall, as far from his companion. He wrapped himself tightly in the covers of the bed while Wolfwood shakily stood, the agony in his head redoubling over again.
With a grunt, the priest fumbled in the drawer of the night stand and withdrew a bottle of painkillers, the rattling of pills shockingly loud in the silent room. Downing four, Wolfwood staggered to the side of the bed and stared down at Vash with narrow eyes, grinding his teeth once more.
What a day it had been. First that damned steamer, then the two girl who had insisted they travel on, exhausted to the next town - then the sleepless stretch of time as Wolfwood had adjusted to Vash's nearness and now *this*, finding out that the man filling his every waking obsession had some sort of sexual relationship with the only other inhuman, immortal creature on the planet - his brother.
Okay. So he had...with Knives. That could be accepted, given a bit of time to really think about it... Wolfwood gritted his teeth at the mental images provided by that thought - Vash had said that the man he loved had changed, and if what Wolfwood suspected was true, that was one hell of an understatement. It was seemingly impossible to think that Knives was that man... Knives. His brother. And yet...
It had to be true.
Knives had a sense of possession around him, the way he had spoken of Vash on the rare occasions that Wolfwood had come face to face with him... It had sent shivers down his spine all that time ago, and now that he understood, it made him feel sick all over again. "Vash."
Shaking shoulders, bruised cheeks, soft gold, the faint sound of crying that was being muffled by a scarred fist. Synthetic fingers eerily still as the rest of his body shook and trembled, shaking in the sheets.
A moment passed and Wolfwood again took up a position on the bed, ignoring the burning of his cheek where Vash's blow had connected. He stared down at his hands for a few seconds, and then looked back up, licking his lips. There where so many things he wanted to say and ask and *understand*, but at the same time - asking them might push Vash further and further away from him. **I want him to be pushed away,** he automatically corrected himself, and grimaced at that response. He...He should push Vash away, he could do it now by simply not inquiring about the nightmare, by simply standing and walking five feet across the room to the other small bed and sleeping there for the rest of the night. By all rights that was the safest route, and yet- ....and yet.... "Vash. Are you alright?"
A long sob, and then a trembling response. "I'm fine."
Wolfwood reached out and pressed his fingers into the cool arch of Vash's shoulder, and the older man shuddered furiously. "Please don't," he whispered. For a moment Wolfwood paused, then resumed the touch, squeezing gently against Vash's bare skin.
"Tell me about it, tongari," he asked, in the kindest of available tones. It was the one he used with the youngest, most petulant children back home, and when coupled with his gaze it was a more than effective tool.
Vash shifted, and Wolfwood moved closer, reaching out and pressing a hand to his forehead. Vash's eyes snapped open and he glanced wildly up at Wolfwood, who flashed him a calm, warm smile - and the blonde seemed to melt in his arms, the resistance he had been offering cracking slightly. "It was just...a nightmare," he said at last. "Someone...I used to know, was..."
Wolfwood leaned back against the headboard and pulled Vash upwards - squeaking in muffled embarrassment, Vash protested for a moment then ceased immediately as warm arms were slipped carefully around his bare shoulders. It was not an intimate touch, but it was thoughtful, and the blonde seemed to appreciate that as he pressed himself closer against Wolfwood's body, sighing gustily.
"Why do you...."
The priest wasn't sure what Vash was going to ask, but questions of any kind were something to be avoided - especially when he didn't know half the answers himself. "Doesn't matter." **At least he's not crying anymore,** Wolfwood thought to himself, and continued to rub the area between tongari's shoulder blades with long, thick fingers. "Do you think you'll be able to sleep again?"
"Mmm," Vash murmured, a soft purr starting up in the back of his throat as Wolfwood's gentle caress continued, "if you stay," he added, burrowing closer, his head settled against the nook of Wolfwood's shoulders.
The priest set his head back against the hardwood headboard and swore softly to himself, sarcasm dripping from his mental tone. Why did he have to make everything difficult?! **Way to push him away, Nicholas D. Wolfwood.... You must have a fuckin' death wish.**
~~~~
I'll tell you something
I am a demon
Some say my biggest weakness
I have my reasons
Call it my defense
Be careful what you're wishing
~~~~
He was trembling, the ripples of combined fear and helplessness beginning in small muscular contractions in his stomach and moving outwards until he was shivering terribly, unable to stop the waves wracking his body.
A sob, bittersweet, scared. And hands picking at his shoulders, fingers shaking too hard to close around anything, clumsy with fear as Wolfwood watched, unable to reach the figure.
A second person.
Blonde. Short hair, cropped and thick, eyes iced over and far too familiar for Wolfwood's sanity - he backed up, heart pounding as the young boy on the floor glanced up and stared through tear-thick lashes.
Knives....
"Knives?"
"Vash," the taller boy purred, and was suddenly on the ground, eyes slitted with pleasure, satisfaction, and something that rang out as utter fulfillment, and all of it was twisted in spiraling loops around Vash's trembling body. Wolfwood sensed what was about to happen, and reached out even as Knives parodied his motion and cupped Vash's chin between his fingertips.
Lips on his own, hands against the small of his back, the powerful weight of Knives against his chest, and he could see-
-Vash crying-
-lips, hands, arms tangled-
-Vash screaming-
-a kiss, long and languid, sweetened-
-Vash loving-
-Sun, sand, the desert sky and blood-
'You....shot me...'
-Vash running-
And Wolfwood knew, understood with a rush of anger and something that bordered on sympathy. "Is that why you want him back....?" The boy, young and small with hints of baby flesh clinging to his frame, looked up and met his eyes. For a moment they connected -
Wolfwood felt his mind was being burned by those furious, damned eyes - he was dangerously close to screaming when Knives finally returned his attention to Vash, kissing slowly up the curve of the perfect porcelain shoulder in a manner that made Wolfwood suppress a wave of stark jealousy.
"Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine..."
The priest watched as first Vash wriggled and struggled, then lay still, then began to slowly move in time with Knives and his brother's none-too-gentle kisses, giving in as Knives broke him in half and made him up again.
And he could see the sand, stained with blood, and hear Vash's footsteps in the distance-
~~~~
You come on like a drug
I just can't get enough
I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more
and there's so much at stake
I can't afford to waste
I've never needed anybody like this before
You are a secret
A new possession
I like to keep you guessing
~~~~
"Vash! Mr. Priest! Are we going to hit the road soon?" Milly asked hopefully, banging on the door of their shabby hotel room. Wolfwood was awake first, rubbing his eyes but refusing to answer, and it was Vash that called back from the bed.
"Yeah, yeah, insurance girl!" the blonde rolled over and rubbed his eyes, yawning cutely as he did so. Wolfwood shifted and groaned into his pillow - he had been dreaming, a nice, gentle one for once (all the others had been horrendous), and certain portions of his anatomy did not feel like it had been much of a dream at all. With a sigh he waited until Vash stood, patiently stretching before the mirror before he made a dash for the bathroom.
It was a hot water morning he decided, as cold water perversely made him think of Vash. With a heavy sigh the priest stripped off his sweat pants and stepped under the steaming flow of water, letting his forehead rest against the tiles of the wall - a dingy yellow floral color, like a faded version of Vash's hair.
Damn it, he was comparing *bathroom tiles* to that damned outlaw. **What the hell is wrong with me?**
It had never been like this before.
Ever.
Reaching for the soap, Wolfwood stopped, heart pounding, as the door to the bathroom slipped open to reveal Vash, his figure distorted by the plasti-glass of the stall's door.
Damn.
**It's fine, he's just gonna take a piss, ignore him.** "Tongari, you ever heard of knocking?" Wolfwood asked, stretching out his arms and squirting a bit of shampoo into his hand. As he ran his fingers across his scalp he watched the blurry body of Vash settled on the toilet seat and begin stripping off his socks, then boxers - then the door to the shower opened.
**Holy mother,** Wolfwood paused in mid-action and stared at Vash, his eyes wide. "Tongari!"
"I thought..." The blonde trailed away and looked down, then met Wolfwood's eyes and smirked slightly - the priest immediately disliked that expression, it almost seemed forced. Those eyes... He was trying hard to look seductive, and failing - and that was strangely attractive in itself. "You were so kind to me last night, I thought you might need some help."
"I've been bathing myself for all these years, I can probably manage-" Wolfwood snapped, backing up again under the spray of the water, all too aware of the effect Vash's body was having on him. Damn it, that was a lie too easily seen through!
There it was again, a ghost of fear flitting through Vash's eyes. "You don't want me... to?" he asked, voice small.
Want him? Of course Wolfwood wanted him to, he wanted to slam him against the wall and - and - and he couldn't, not after that dream, not knowing that Knives and Legato were watching his every move, not with Midvalley *knowing* how he felt and posing a danger of telling the two watchful devils - how could he? It would *kill* him to touch Vash.
It would kill him to stay alone.
"I want to," he croaked as Vash shifted, "but I can't."
There was one of those pauses that could be cut with only the sharpest of knives - and Wolfwood winced as he thought that. Bad phrasing. **What do I do?** he wondered, Vash was still standing in the open doorway, steam rapidly condensing on his scarred chest as he stared almost petulantly at Wolfwood. Waiting.
"Why?"
Oh, my God. Wolfwood closed his eyes and leaned back against the tiles, wishing Vash away with all of his might, leave me alone, leave me alone- Damn it, all of his barriers were down and he felt as vulnerable as a child! It was as if Vash would read the truth as soon as their eyes met, and he couldn't let that happen - not only would death soon follow him if he spoiled Knives' ploys - but to die betraying Vash, knowing...
It would be better to give in, then? No! He *couldn't* associate with the target. Think of him as the target, the target -
Vash was suddenly beside him, in the shower, very naked and very wet and was running his fingers through Wolfwood's hair. Barely daring to breath, the priest instinctively tucked his head lower, letting long caresses edge across his scalp - and then Vash ducked his head under the water, and he spluttered. "H-hey!"
"Conditioner?" The voice was almost amused as Wolfwood fumbled for the bottle and leaned back against the shower wall, mind racing as quickly as his heart beneath the flow of water.
Okay. Vash was washing his hair, and now Vash was rinsing again, and scrubbing his chest and shoulders with a cloth, his hair damp and dangling in his eyes.
The priest shifted, staring down at Vash's head with a surprised look. The situation had somehow gone from sexual to utterly innocent, and though Wolfwood would be hard pressed to pinpoint the moment the transition had happened he suspected Vash was playing around with his brain. The lingering emotions played at the edges of his mind, but first and foremost was the knowledge that it was Vash's turn, and that while sex was definitely deadly, this might be alright...
"Aaah!"
Wrapping an arm around the blonde's neck, Wolfwood playfully mussed his hair and ground the shampoo in with thick, affectionate fingers - it smelled of some kind of flower, he wasn't sure what. After all, they all smelled the same, since they were manufactured - but it was a nice scent, and it fit Vash, though Wolfwood had never heard of a rosy-smelling Gung-ho Gun.
He coughed once at the thought and Vash wriggled away, lunging for the complimentary tubes of toiletries at the back of the shower stall.
That lunge began a rather interesting wrestling match for control of the one bar of green soap, Wolfwood holding it high over his head and Vash mercilessly ravaging his torso with tickling fingers. "I didn't know you were so ticklish, Wolfwood," the blonde nearly giggled, rolling the name off of his tongue.
"H-hey! N-not - ahh! - not fair! Cheater!" The soap went flying and Vash scrambled for it, tripping over Wolfwood's leg and winding up with the water spout poking painfully into his back. "Jeez, tongari, you're a walking disaster," Wolfwood laughed softly and surrendered the soap, smiling faintly as Vash tried his best to look disgruntled.
"That's what they say," the blonde responded mildly, flashing Wolfwood a damp, tired smile. The priest felt his heart do an odd little flip-twist, and he groaned inwardly - damn it, but Vash looked cute. Not in the way the insurance girl was cute, but cute in a....jaded way. How the hell did he manage to pull that off?
For that matter, how the hell had Vash gone from seducing him to a tickle war? It was almost like the blonde had been seeking something from Wolfwood, something that wasn't physical - a mental balance, the answer to a question? Had that been what was lingering in Vash's eyes when he opened the door to the shower, something unasked, unsaid? Or had he wanted to touch Wolfwood and see into his mind in the same way Wolfwood had seen Vash's disturbing dreams the night before?
That was another thing the priest was steadfastly ignoring. That dream they had shared.
He opened his mouth to ask the first of his questions, but when he turned around again, Vash was already gone, and the door to the bathroom was ajar. Okay, so he had ended the encounter, but what did it mean? And most importantly:
Why the hell had Vash advanced on him in the first place if he hadn't *really* wanted sex?
What was he looking for?
~~~~
You come on like a drug
I just can't get enough
I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more
and there's so much at stake
I can't afford to waste
I've never needed anybody like this before
When I'm not sure what I'm living for
(when I'm not sure what I'm)
When I'm not sure what I'm looking for
(when I'm not sure what I'm)
When I'm not sure what I'm living for
(when I'm not sure what I'm)
When I'm not sure what I'm looking for
(when I'm not sure what I'm)
When I'm not sure what I'm living for
When I'm not sure what I'm looking for
When I'm not sure what I'm living for
~~~~
