Disclaimer: Joss owns all the characters. I burglarized his wall safe and made photocopies for my own use. I own nothing but a beat up car, a personal library of 600 books and a finicky Muse.
Lonely Letters
Chapter Eight
By IceWing (icewing@one.net)
Chapter 8
Thank you just doesn't seem to be good enough to get what I am feeling right now across. You have no idea how much all this means to me
Its almost too much. I feel all jumbled up inside, and I'm not quite sure how to handle that.
You said that you've never seen me smile before. I have to admit, that I've never been one to smile a lot, never really had reason to, you know? But I can tell you, I smiled when I saw all of this and read your letter. Truth be known, I cried a little bit too. I don't deserve all of this stuff. I mean, I love it all, and am overjoyed that you gave it all to me, but I don't deserve it. ~ soft smile ~ But thank you. I don't know what else to say but thank you. I wish you could have been here, not in jail here, but with me, so you could have seen me smile. ~ Laugh ~ Of course, then I would also know who you are.
But then again, I do know who you are. Not your name, but I do know that you're my friend. And that's far more important than anything else.
~ Smiling (Just use your imagination for now) ~ You are aware that I am going to give you the best christmas present you've ever gotten in your life in return for this treasure you've given me. Unfortunately, its going to have to wait till I get out of here, unless you are overwhelmable by soap on a string from the commisary. ~ Laugh ~
The oranges and chocolate are great, I had one of each right after I opened
the mini-disk and started listening to the albums you sent me. You have no idea
how much I have missed listening to tunes. It makes the world, all the troubles,
just slip away and you can wallow in the music.
God, I keep wanting to just babble thank you over and over again. I'm going
to do my best to resist that urge. Thanks. ~ grin ~
The music you sent me is great. I've listened to all of them now, which is why its been a couple of days since I got your package and I'm just now writing you. So much to go through. I am doing some of the exercises from the Tai Chi book, they seem kinda odd, till you speed em up quite a bit, then you can tells its actually a martial art. Tolkien is pretty cool, although I've gotta say, I don't think he's actually met anything he's writing about.
In regards to being in your thoughts, there are a lot worse places to be. You're in mine a lot too, although being kinda vague and non-descript in physical appearance. But I know how you are inside, and I am glad that you took the time to write me. That you took the time to get me to open up to you and to make that connection between us, letting it grow and strengthen. I hope that once I get out of here, you'll let me know who you are
Its weird, all through my life, I have tried to stay away from people. That way they couldn't hurt me. I built armor around myself, burying who I was with layers of defenses. And now, I find myself waiting for your letters, thinking about you. Guess maybe I am starting to change, to grow up a bit.. .Now there's a scary thought.
I'm sorry to hear about Xander and Anya. He deserves better than that. I think about him sometimes. Of all the Scooby Gang at this point, I think that he impresses me the most. And of course, I went and tried to kill him. Yet another thing I have to make up for once I get out of here Its such a long list these days.
Giles plays guitar? Never would have guessed that one. ~ laugh ~
Spike. Gotta say, I'm not really sure as to what he's all about. I mean, I can understand turning over a new leaf and everything. I mean, look at Angel, but Angel has that whole curse thing going for him where as Spike, well I mean, he was like a serious big bad, and now he's helping out of the goodness of his heart Somehow it seems off to me And Wheatabix Ick is right!
Glad to hear Willow and Tara are doing better. That one kinda threw me for a second when I woke up But everybody deserves to be happy. ~ Laugh ~ Except Angel, cuz we know where that leads.
I think I'm kinda out of stuff to say right now, other than thank you one more time. Its so unreal. Nobody else in my lefe has ever cared enough about me to give me anything, not for the right reasons anyway. You've made me eel more special than you can imagine, and I still don't know how to thank you. This is one of those things that truly can't ever be repaid, because the way it makes me feel is so difficult to even put into words
Thank you my friend.
Yours,
Faith
