*Sorry. I was watching cartoons when I thought of this....*

The "Masked Nutter" Strikes

Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda, I own nothing.

PS- Professor Snape

HP- Harry Potter

RW- Ron Weasly

HG- Hermione Granger

DM- Draco Malfoy

SB- Sirius Black

RL- Remus Lupin

PM- Professor McGonagall

PD- Professor Dumbledore

*If there are more, I'll add them in a later chapter.*

Everybody is in the dining hall for breakfast; Lupin and Black are there because I say they are. Snape is missing.

DM- *walks up to the Gryffindor table* Pot-ass, where's Snape? I want him to deduct random points from you.

HP- Find him yourself.

DM- *huffs* You're lucky Crabbe and Goyle are on maternity-leave!*walks away*

The Gryffindors exchange confused/disgusted looks.

HG- Ewww....

And then there twas awkward silence.

RW- Anyway, like I was saying, for Divination I just said that I died and got resurrected continuously all week. Then for the star chart I just made a picture of a bunny and connected the ¾

*There is a sudden crash as the window above them breaks. Everybody looks up.*

Standing in the window is Snape. He is dressed in flowing purple robes, a cape, and black boots. Across his face he painted a white line that stretches from cheek to cheek and across the brigde of his nose. He is holding a rapier in his right hand; on his left he is wearing a huge, cheap plastic ring(you can make this whatever color you think best...like pink or purple).

RL- What...the...HELL?!?

SB- Oh God, please not again....

PS- I am the terror that flaps in the night, I am the rotted food that is shoved in the back of your refrigerator. Let's get dangerous!

*jumps from the window onto the head table, spilling stuff everywhere, and begins singing.* Stand and deliver! Your money or your life! *Stops and talks again* Hand over your lupins, or we shall put our rings together and create Captain Planet!

A long silence follows.

PM- Severus, have you had your medication yet?

PS- Minerva! Ugh- that's quite a personal question, don't you think?

PM- Severus, you need your medication. You haven't taken it, have you?

PS- Of course not, I don't need it anymore!

PM- Yeah, right. Prove it.

PS- Minerva, that's embarrassing! I don't need it!

PM- Yes you do!

PS- NO, REALLY! I've learned how to do it without the viagra! *A loud "ewww!" is heard from everybody*

PM- Um-ew-ah-NO. I meant your ¾ the orange pills! For your "little problem."

PS- I take pills for that?

PM- *Slaps her forehead* LOOK, Severus, I will go over this ONE MORE TIME with you: You are NOT Darkwing Duck! You are NOT Adam Ant! You are NOT Dennis Moore! And you are NOT a Planeteer!

PS- *eyes begin to water* NOOOOOO! That's not TRUE! NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! *he takes his rapier and cuts a large "Z" into one of the curtains then runs out of the room with his head down*

Everybody starts eating again, secretly fearing the next attack of the "Masked Nutter."