The Way I Am Chapter 3
*I promise this one's a bit more interesting than the last! I even (loosely) quote Gladiator in this one!*
It had been several months since I met Ka…Goku. I was amazed at his strength, he must be one of the most powerful people here, if not the most powerful. I was proud at what he had done and even the way he was living; he had two sons and a grand daughter who he obviously admired and cared for a lot. It made me think, it made me think a lot. About my relationship with my first son, Raditz.
I admit I was a useless father, I never showed my son any respect, and I forced him to respect me as his father. I feel ashamed to call myself that, not because of Raditz' actions in the past but through my own. When he was a child, I used to force him to do as I said and for some reason he did it. I didn't teach him a lot, only about our race and how our pride was all that mattered, which now I realise it has very little relevance at all. I knew that as he grew older that we would drift further and further apart, which we did to the point where we wouldn't even speak to eachother. Not even a `Hello' or even `I hate you', I don't blame him though. Not anymore. I was so full of my own pride to care about anyone else's. Not even my first sons. It was time to make up.
"What do you want?" It wasn't even a question, it was an order.
"Raditz, I want, no, need to speak with you."
"I've got nothing to say to you and I'm pretty sure you've got nothing to say to me so why waste both of our time?"
"No…I…" This felt really awkward, "I want to…Apologise."
"For what?"
"Eveything!" Raditz looked stunned. He obviously had no idea what I meant, "I mean, damn it!…You're my son…"
"Sadly, but what's that got to do with anything?" Naturally, he wasn't making things very easy for me.
"Raditz, we've never got on; either as father and son or even as friends…"
"Ah, I get it! You've obviously found Kakarot somewhere here and realised that he's so much better than the both of us."
"Raditz, please…I know you…Hate me…"
"You think I hate you eh?"
"I get the impression."
"Bardock, I can't stand you. Hate isn't strong enough to describe the way I feel about you…" My heart sank. It was really this bad.
"All the times I called you `father'…I never meant it, I never felt you were any relation to me!"
"…I didn't realise…"
"That's right. You didn't realise because I'm not you. You have never cared about anyone else apart from yourself!" As much as his comment hurt, he was right.
"Raditz, I know what I've done in the past…Now, I'm just offering an apology."
"Apology rejected."
"What do I have to do?!?!?!" He seemed shocked as I grew more and more angry with him.
"It's too late for you to do anything. I've never needed you as a father or a friend. I never needed you as an enemy but once again that was YOUR decision…" He began to walk away, this time I felt as if it was for good, never again would I see him.
"Please son. Give me a chance. Believe it or not, I- I am proud of you." Raditz stopped. "I was never disappointed in you, only disappointed in myself." Raditz turned around to face me although I couldn't look him in the eye.
"You're fault as my son is my failure as your father…" I could see that I had hit a nerve somewhere.
"You…Called me your son…"
"Yeah, sounds pretty weird doesn't it?"
"Heh…Maybe we should end it."
"?"
"This is the first time in over thirty years we've spoken to eachother."
"Too long, don't you say?" Raditz smiled at me. For the first time ever, I think he actually saw me as his father.
"I am proud of you. I don't necessarily think that what you've done in the past is right but all this time you've held your ground and stood up for what you believe in. That takes guts. Especially against the likes of Frieza…"
"I can tell you, it took something to stand up to you as well."
"Not anymore it wont."
For the first time ever, or at least in a very long time, I am truly happy. Yes, I'm still in hell but it doesn't seem so bad now. I can say I am proud of both of my sons; Kakarot, he has done so much for the Saiyans here, defeating Frieza as a Super Saiyan and proving that we don't need to be evil or cruel to be powerful and Raditz, he spent many more years than I did under the command of Frieza and he lived through those years with the same pride and dignity all Saiyans carry. The first time he went Super Saiyan was to protect me, I was ashamed of myself I needed his help. He saw me in pain and that made him angry enough to achieve Super Saiyan and I threw his help back in his face. That helped me a lot in a way. Now, I wasn't embarrassed to ask or help in a fight, I can admit I'm not as powerful as I think I am. I'm happy the way I am.
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