Author: Rea

A/n: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE r&r

Maria looked up at the clock, a little annoyed. And sighed. It had been an hour and she was only supposed to be in the god damn room for thirty minutes. She couldn't believe what she had already started to tell this man, let alone what she was going to tell him. What the hell was she thinking? Sure she was mad at her former friends but could she really betray them, again? God, she had said that to herself way to many times is her short life. She had hurt them on so many level's it was hard to believe she even thought before she did it anymore. She could feel tears sting her eye's, 'oh god Maria, don't do this to yourself' she thought willing her tears to go away.

"My time's up." her voice cracked as she said this and she knew if she didn't get out of there she'd start crying.

"Maria,…what's wrong? We can go over time if you want" he looked honestly concerned, but she did care all she wanted to do was get the hell off that damn couch.

"No. I want to leave." She said as she walked as fast as she could to the door.

******

The second she walked out of the doctor's office she started to run to her room. She didn't try to make the tears stop as she ran past the nurses station. She didn't want to get the third degree for crying or running but the nurses here had no soul so she wasn't surprised when she was stopped.

"hun, why are ya run-"The head nurses stared to ask but stop her self when she saw the look on Maria's face and then told her what she needed to know.- "babe, ya gotta visitor, he said his name was, uh…Michael I think. He's up in your room." She said in a thick New York accent, and then went back to what she was doing.

She couldn't breath, she couldn't think. Why, why would he come to her. The last time she saw him it was clear he didn't love her, or want her anyway…so why would he come? As she started toward the elevator she heard those word's of his that broke her heart almost a year ago. 'kiss me hard Maria because it'll be our last'. God that was a bitter-sweet kiss.

//flashback//

"Michael, please…I love you. I'm still the same person, I'm still Maria." The rain poured hard in the parking lot of the Crashdown. So hard you almost couldn't see the tears running down Maria's soft skin, but you could her choking back sob's, and you could see her body shake with every breath.

"Your not the same person, and your not Maria." he said in a voice so calm it scared Maria. When she didn't speak he started again.

"You've never been Maria. You are and always will be Tani. You lied to me, to all of us." Now you could hear the rage that rocked his voice. When he said 'all of us' he looked back at the people who stood behind him: Max, Liz, Kyle and Isabel. They were standing by the sheriff's car, they were just about to leave Roswell when Maria stopped them with tears running down her face. It was only an hour after they had learned all of her horrible secrets, and all of her lie's.

"Please, you can't hate me. I don't love Kaviar, I haven't for so long. I love you, you can't hate me….." She took a step toward and touched his face.

"Don't. Touch. Me. You don't love me. If you loved me you would have told me who you were. I trusted you with me life, I told you my biggest secret's! You've screwed us all over! If you loved me you would have told me about Kaviar, and about your child. For god-sakes I gave you my soul!" Michael took a step back for her before he said this. She didn't say anything for a few minutes. All she did was look down at her hands and let the tears role down her face. What could she say to make him understand? What could she say to make any of them understand? She had lied for too long, the window of time to tell the truth had slammed shut when Kaviar came to Roswell with Katia. She took and deep breath and stopped crying. She had to try one more time, try to make him see that she loved him.

"Michael, I know I lied. But when you told us who you were you didn't know what could happened to the people who knew your secret. I did. You didn't know that just by knowing what you are you put people at risk. I did. I knew that if I told you about my past you could die…." she sniffed and looked Michael in the eye's, with a clarity that she had never know before. "Both of my lives I was a prisoner, I was chained to something that I couldn't control. But when I'm with you…I'm free. I really am only nineteen, I really am Maria Gurin. With out you I'm just a prisoner to a life I didn't choose. Please let me be free…" she took another step toward him and noticed that he was crying.

He touched her face and pulled her close with his other arm. "I love you. With everything that's inside me, I love you. But we can't be." As he talked tears ran freely down his face and started to trickle once again down hers. He took a small step back and grab her face with his hand's. Michael wiped away one of her tears and whispered his last words to her.

Time seemed to slow down and all Maria could hear with the falling of the rain all around her and the beating of her heart. "Kiss me hard Maria because it'll be our last." She choked back sob and looked hard into his eye's. then with all the passion she could find she kissed him.

The world melted away into nothingness. All that existed was Maria and Michael , there were no alien's, there was no Kaviar or Tess, and there was no-past lives and destiny. The only thing that mater at all was the fact that this was the last time Maria would ever be whole, this was the last time Michael would hold her, this was the last time she would ever feel right. It was their final good bye, she knew it. But neither of them could let go of what could have been. They both knew that when they let go they were letting go everything that could have been, that should've been. The little blonde boy with a bad temper, the little girl with a smile to kill and the white picketed fence were fading fast and once they were gone all the tear's and I love you's in the world couldn't bring them back from the depths of Maria's heart. Finally they parted, Michael looked into her eye's and Maria knew his was no longer hers, she knew she had reached the point of no-return. She watched them drive away to find Kaviar, to right her wrong's and to get Max's son back. She was already dead…what did life mater if she no longer had any of them by her side?

//end flashback//

She took a deep breath and stepped off the intuition's elevator, onto the third floor. She couldn't believe he was really here, maybe it was someone else. Maybe it was Kaviar…or-

She was at her door. All she had to do was turn the knob and find the answer to all her question's. 'Breath, just breath,' she told herself but it didn't help. Maria opened the door to her room. It had one bed a desk, a dresser and a window. The wall's were gray and the bedding was white. Just living in the place made her depressed. She let out a sigh of her relief when it didn't look like anyone was there "thank god" she mutter under her breathe as she turned on the light switch. When she turned around she screamed. There he was in all his glory, Michael Gurin.

******

"happy to see you too." Michael said with a grim smile on his face. He looked almost the same, but he had shorter hair, and very tired eye's.

"you look,…different." he said trying to break the ice. Maria moved over to the chair at her desk and sat down, with out taking her eye's off him. She looked so tired, so….broken. He hadn't seen her in a little over a year, only because it hurt to much to even think about her. He didn't even no about her break-down till a few week's ago. He found out that she had snapped and slit her risk in the kitchen where she was a waitress. He didn't believe it the first time heard it from Max, he said that she was too strong. But he called her mom up and Max was right. He didn't want it to be true because he knew if it was then it was his fault. That night he preached about love and what was wrong and right, but if he loved her he wouldn't have left her.

"what are you doing here?" she ask with no emotion.

"funny I was gonna ask you the same thing…." he said under his breath.

"What did max send you to make sure it was true….?" she looked down as she said this and pulled a packet of cigarette's out of the pocket in her robe. Michael just looked at her with out saying a word, as she expertly pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"since when do you smoke?"

"About the same time I stop caring-"

"What did you stop careing about, exactly?" he asked cutting her off.

"well isn't that a stupid question to ask someone in this place" she said holding up her rist.

"for it. This was a mistake. Your too damn jaded." she got up a started to walk away but she grabed his arm.

"what do you mean? why are really here?"

******

Thank you so much for reading this so far expect moreJ