Hi there! This is one of my 'Starter Kits'. A fanfiction idea that seemed really good when I started, but ground to a halt when my creativity ran dry, or as I became involved in other projects and completely forgot where I intended to go with this. So I'm posting these 'Starter Kits' up so that other authors can continue my ideas, flesh them out, or even take them in a wild new direction. All I ask is that you consult me before making changes to the part that I've put down here. Perhaps later I'll try to pick up from where you leave off, or we might just alternate writing chapters. I'm intentionally leaving this open-ended.
So, show me what you got, tough guy!
-Ron Hino
Virility
By Ron Hino and ____________
Inspired by an element of T.H. Tiger's lemon fic "Poke Her" though this isn't intended to be a lemon. (10/04/02) By the same token, I have no say in where another author might take it, like Ralf Martin did to another of my Starter Kits. Looking over it again, especially what I've since added, I suppose a lemon scene is almost unavoidable. Though if the solution is that easy, this is going to be a very short story. You'll see what I mean if you read to the end.
Rated R, for mature content
It was all over, as far as Akane was concerned.
Not in the bad way: the fiancées, the bizarre challenges, the hidden desires and denial of their love behind a wall of insincere insults. It was finally over.
She was now Akane Saotome, beloved wife to Ranma.
Oh certainly, it hadn't been that simple. It had taken many hurt feelings and bumps in the road to get them here. After the wedding (the successful one) Ukyou had been a wreck, and Shampoo little better. They had both been despondent and miserable, but at least they were accepting what they could not change. Akane had even heard Ukyou invite Shampoo to her place to drink away their sorrows after the ceremony. Cologne had just looked at the new married couple with a tired expression that made her, for once, truly seem as old as she claimed to be. Then she and Mousse left together.
Akane was grateful she'd had the foresight to pull Mousse aside and advise him not to push things right now. Shampoo was miserable, heartbroken, and in no mood for his usual glomps and professions of love. If he would just quietly be there for her, be a shoulder to cry on for her, then maybe, when she was ready to try at love again, he would be the one she turned to. At the very worst, they would grow closer as friends. Mousse had apparently seen the wisdom in her advice.
Ukyou would have Konatsu to take care of her. He needed no coaching to be the shoulder she could cry on. And tomorrow morning, he would be the hands that held her head over the toilet while she recovered from the serious bender she was apparently planning.
Ryouga was surprisingly cheerful at the wedding, though that may have had something to do with the cute and bubbly Akari who held his hand and cried into her tissues throughout the ceremony. Akane suspected he had once had a crush on her, but he appeared to have moved on, much to her relief. Ryouga deserved all the happiness life had to offer. Maybe she could be at their wedding a year or two down the road.
The Kunous had been hospitalized the day before the wedding, and weren't scheduled for release until several weeks after the honeymoon would end. Neither Ranma nor Akane particularly gave a damn if they were ever happy.
And now, Akane Saotome lay in the arms of her husband, the invincible Ranma Saotome, who had fought Chinese kings and gods for her, who had weathered her temper and jealousy, and even done the unthinkable: sampled her cooking more than once.
This was the night Akane had been waiting for. She was nervous and excited all at once. In what had once been her room, he followed her scantily clad form into what was once her bed. His eyes shone with love as he kissed her tenderly, then wrapped her in his strong arms. Akane smiled as she closed her eyes and waited.
And waited...
And waited...
And waited...
*ZZZZzzzzzz*
"Ranma no baka!" *WHAP*
"Huh? Wha?"
"What are you doing?"
"Well... I was sleeping."
"Obviously! And isn't there anything else you'd like to do? Before we go to sleep?"
"Like what?"
*WHAP*
"Ow! What'd do that for?"
"Are you stupid or something? This is our WEDDING night!"
"Right. So we're supposed to sleep together. That's what I was doing."
"..."
"What?" Ranma said, looking at her blankly.
"You ARE stupid." She muttered.
"Hey!"
Akane let out a deep sigh. Surely life on the road couldn't leave him THAT ignorant! "Didn't you pay attention in health class?"
"Do I _ever_ pay attention to any class other than gym?"
"I don't believe this." She muttered. "Do you even know what sex is?"
"Sure. It's what animals do to have babies."
"People do it too you know." She sighed.
"Right. That's how you 'n me got here. So?"
Akane took a deep breath to calm her temper. "A husband and wife are supposed to have sex for the first time on their wedding night." She explained slowly.
"News to me. I though we were just supposed to sleep together."
"That's what 'sleeping together' usually means, idiot!"
"Oh, it's one of those yu-fa thingys, right?"
"A euphemism. Exactly. And were supposed to do it tonight."
"How do you 'do' a euphemism?"
Akane started banging her head against the wall.
"Go Ranma Go!" Nabiki cheered from the other side of the wall. "Wild Stallion indeed. Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna have to start charging you for keeping me from my beauty rest, but it's your wedding night, so go nuts!" The sound of a radio came through the wall shortly after that.
Akane turned beet red. She could put up with being embarrassed over this if they had actually been _doing_ anything. She turned back to Ranma and tried it again with gritted teeth... and small words.
"You and I are supposed to have sex tonight."
"Why?"
"What do you mean, 'why'? Don't you _want_ to have sex with me?"
"Well... not really." Ranma admitted.
Akane felt like she'd been stabbed through the heart. "W-what?"
"Well I don't really wanna have kids so soon." He said, scratching his head. "Do you?"
Akane grasped at the thread of hope.
"N-no Ranma. I don't want children just yet. I started taking pills that will keep me from having children. So you don't need to worry about that. Now do you want to have sex with me?"
"What's the point?"
Akane felt like her heart had dropped into her stomach. "W-what do you mean?" She asked meekly.
"I mean... if you took those pills, we won't have kids. Why would we have sex if not to have kids?"
Akane's heart took a tentative step up again. It appeared it was just his stupidity, not what she thought. She just needed to check one more thing before she could relax...
"Ranma... do you love me?" She said in a choked voice.
Even Ranma (thanks to a LOT of coaching from his until-recently estranged mother) knew he couldn't risk letting her think he didn't love her. He moved toward her and embraced her.
"Of course I love you. I love you more than life itself. If I didn't have you, live wouldn't be worth living."
Akane sighed with relief and squeezed him tightly around the waist. Tears slid down her cheeks and onto his lean muscled chest. She let out a few cleansing sobs before she pulled herself together.
"Then why don't you want to make love to me?"
"This is like that 'sleeping together' thing, right?"
She didn't know whether to groan or giggle. She sighed. "Yes, Ranma."
He was starting to get the feeling that this sex thing was important, maybe almost as important as him loving her.
"It's not that I don't _want_ to. I just don't see any reason to." He said, hoping he wasn't just making her more upset.
Akane's Ego had been taking a serious beating, and as it usually did, it ran and hid behind the legs of Anger. Anger was all set to let fly with the mallets, when Love put a hand on his arm. Anger grudgingly permitted Reason to try and handle this, but swore if that idiot Ranma hurt little Ego again, he'd feel pain like never before.
Outside of the psyche, Akane gently pushed away from him. "No reason? Let me see if I can do something about that."
She stood away from him and did a small pirouette, before bending towards him with her hands on her knees. All she was wearing was the sexy white lace panty and bra Auntie Saotome had got her for the honeymoon, which came with a garter belt and smooth stockings. Her pose showed a lot of cleavage, and the whole outfit a lot of skin, while hiding only the most interesting bits.
"So," she smiled at him, "What do you think of me?"
Ranma was about to go into an amusing monologue about her manly muscles, and the fact that her breasts, for all they had grown in the last two years, we're still slightly smaller than his girl form (which had also matured in the last two years. Damn!) when he remembered his mother explaining that Akane did not enjoy that game nearly as much as he did. He swallowed his pride and nervousness and answered as honestly as he could.
"You're beautiful."
Akane smiled. "Tell me what you like about me."
"You're cute, kind and smart, way smarter than me anyway, and... when you smile... you're the most beautiful girl in the world."
Akane smiled wider. Deep within her, Ego was doing the Dance of Joy, with Love as her partner. Still, this wasn't exactly what she had been looking for. She straightened and stretched her arms over her head, posing again.
"What do you like about my body? Tell me what you think of it." She asked.
Ranma stomped on his tease reflex again and ran his eyes up her beautiful form. "You've got long legs, and they're not skinny like some girls, or fat either. They've got muscle to them, so they look just the right shape. You can tell they're strong just by looking at them, but they're not bulging with muscle like on a man. They're strong like a woman is strong. You're whole body is like that; lean and hard, but undeniably feminine."
He'd have to thank Nabiki for that description later. On second thought, considering what he paid, thanks were unnecessary. Still, he'd never have guessed Akane worried so much about how her beloved martial arts made her body look, or that she might sometimes wish she had a softer look to her like her sisters. Guess only her sisters would know her that well. From the look of delight in Akane's eyes, it had been money well spent.
"And my breasts? What do you think of them? They're not as big as your girl side."
"Maybe, but so what? The boobs on my girl side get in my way a lot. I had to readjust most of my moves in girl form just to counter the weight of the things throwing off my balance. Yours are big too, do you ever have that problem?"
Akane blushed and smiled. "Can't say that I do."
"Hmm. Wish I had them in your size then. Not small, but not too big either. They're just perfect."
. Ranma thought. She had also told him not to say any of this if he didn't think it was true, because Akane would know if he were lying. He didn't need to lie, but he was grateful to all three women for helping him sort out his words, so he wouldn't put his foot in his mouth yet again.
Akane's Ego was doing cartwheels now. She strode towards him purposefully. "And how does it make you feel, looking at me?" She grinned.
"'Feel'?"
"Tell you what, you've done enough descriptions for one night. I'll just look for myself." She giggled as she grabbed the bottoms of his boxer shorts, his last article of clothing.
"What do you... HEY!" He yelped in surprise as she snatched his shorts down his legs and off.
There it was; what she had been looking forward to all night. She hadn't seen one since she grew too old to take baths with Daddy, and she obviously hadn't been looking at the time. Ranma's manhood, which she had worked up the courage to have willingly plunge into her body, tearing away whatever her training had left of her hymen. She had been ready for that, looking forward to it.
And the damn thing was laying there like a piece of cooked spaghetti.
"It isn't hard." Akane moaned in disappointment.
"What isn't?" Ranma asked.
His ignorance was getting to her. "THAT!" She said, pointing.
"Is it supposed to do that?"
"YES IT-- Ranma, are you saying it's never gotten hard before? Never got bigger and all stiff?"
"'Course not. How would I aim it when I piss if it was all stiff?"
Cold, frightening realization hit Akane between the eyes. "Ohmygod! Ranma, you're impotent!"
"Meaning what, exactly?" Ranma asked. He didn't know the word, but it didn't sound like anything good, especially taking into account the look of horror on her face. When she dropped to her knees, crying into his lap (no not _there_, down a few inches) he knew it was bad.
"Ranma! I'm so sorry! I swear I'll do everything I can to help you!"
"Holy shit! Akane... am I... am I dying?" Ranma asked.
Akane looked up, offering him a brave smile. "No... No Ranma it's not as bad as that. Impotent means you can't get hard down here. If you can't, than we can't make love... and we can never have children."
Ranma still didn't get what the big deal was with this making love business, but children he could understand.
"Damn." He said, seeming to finally understand the magnitude of the problem. "I... I really wanted kids. Not right away, but someday I sure did. I wanted to be a father. I... I was sure I could do a better job of it than my stupid old man."
Akane sat beside him on the bed and hugged him. "I know you would have Ranma, I'm sure of it." She took him by the shoulders and kissed him. "But I'm not giving up yet, and neither are you! Ranma Saotome never loses, right?"
Ranma grinned "You're right. And neither," he kissed her again, "does Akane Saotome."
Her grin was full of the confidence her husband was famous for, she looked ready to go into battle. "I won't give up Ranma. I'll do whatever it takes." She stood away from him and looked back at him over her shoulder, smiling coyly. "Maybe you just want to see a little more, hmm?" She cooed as she slid the bra strap down her shoulder.
Ranma gulped. He was still getting used to the idea that he was in Akane's bedroom (_their_ room now) and she was nearly naked (and becoming more so) and she wasn't hitting him in the head. His instincts were telling him to run for it. He shook his head to clear it and continued to stare, reminding himself that not only was he allowed to look now, but he was _supposed_ to. He was her husband; she was his wife. All she had to offer was for his eyes and his alone.
Besides, she'd already gotten a good look at him. Might as well look at her too, right?
***
Morning came to the married couple. Akane woke first. She lifted her head from her husband's chest and smiled. He looked so cute asleep. Then she remembered the night before and her face fell. She slowly rose and pulled on a yukata. She looked sadly at the sleeping Ranma once more before gathering her bath things and heading downstairs.
As she scrubbed herself and then sat in the hot water (bless Kasumi-oneechan, always up so early) she kept running the same four words through her mind, beating herself up with them.
She had failed him.
Akane had tried everything. She'd done a slow striptease, danced erotically for him, then danced outright gratuitously for him (her face had never been that red in her life). She'd taken his hesitant hands and placed them all over her body, _all_ over. She'd taken him in her hands, trying to make him hard. She'd even taken him in her mouth, something she'd always thought disgusting and had sworn in front of her girlfriends that she'd never do, no matter what. She'd talked dirty, acted like a porn slut, like a totally shameless whore, all in an attempt to get a reaction.
Little Ranma lay as limp as when they had started.
Big Ranma, on the other hand, was wondering who she was and what she had done with his wife. He looked a little scared.
Finally exhausted, both emotionally and physically, Akane had collapsed against him in tears, falling asleep to the sound of his apologizing. For all that he insisted that it wasn't her fault, she couldn't stop wondering if there was something she did or hadn't done, that had left him unable to perform.
***
Kasumi looked worried as Ranma finally came downstairs. He was the last to awake, and everyone else was finishing breakfast. "Where's Akane? She wasn't there when I woke up."
All the adults looked at each other, and wordlessly left the table, going out to the yard. Nabiki left too, but only around a corner where she could eavesdrop. Ranma watched his parents and in-laws vanish with a growing sense of unease. He turned to the nervous-looking Kasumi.
"What's going on? Where's Akane?"
Kasumi gathered herself. She could tell he was worried about his wife, that was a good sign. "Well... a little while ago, Akane said she was going to see Dr. Tofu about something. Mr. Saotome made a joke about not being able to tell if she was pregnant so soon, and she screamed at him to shut the... something... up. She was in tears, Ranma. Did you hurt her last night? Why does she need to go to the doctor's?"
Ranma looked stricken. No wonder everyone was avoiding him. They thought he'd beat her or something.
"No Kasumi. Akane's just fine, physically at least. I swear I didn't hurt her, but I think she might be upset about something. I should really go check."
Kasumi smiled with relief. "I knew you wouldn't hurt her, Ranma. She left about twenty minutes ago. Better hurry."
Ranma offered a weak smile and nodded, dashing to the front door.
The first thing he heard when he entered the clinic was sobbing. He quietly moved to Dr. Tofu's office and peaked in the door. Akane was sitting next to Tofu and crying into his chest, just like she had when her hair had been abruptly cut short, years ago.
"I did everything I could think of, Doctor! I did things I never thought I'd do. I don't even want to tell you about some of them, but it wasn't enough!"
"Calm down, Akane. You don't have to tell me about anything you tried, I get the picture. I really don't think the problem is you. I want you to bring Ranma in for an examination as soon as possible. Lots of things can cause impotence: a simple chemical imbalance, hormones, stress..."
"It was worse than that, Dr. Tofu. It wasn't like he wanted it to get hard, and it just wouldn't. It was like he didn't find me arousing at all. He even said, he just didn't see any reason to. Oh he tried as soon as he saw how much I wanted to, but I didn't do anything for him. He loves me, but he doesn't find me sexy! Doctor, what do I do now?"
"Um... well... bring Ranma in, and we'll go from there. If it's a physical problem, I can help, and if it's not, I know people who can. I promise we'll fix Ranma up."
"Then stop yapping and start examining." Ranma said, coming into the room. "I don't really understand why this is important, but I can't stand to see Akane cry another second, especially not because of me."
"Ranma..." Akane said, somewhat startled. "I... I didn't mean to spread your problem around, but Dr. Tofu--"
"The Doctor can help fix it. No problem. Let's just fix this." He said, looking at Dr. Tofu with iron determination.
The Doctor waved him to the examination table, matching Ranma's seriousness. "Right this way."
A VERY complete physical had revealed Ranma to be, as always, an ideal specimen of good health. Circulation through the penis was normal, A blood test would reveal testosterone production levels were a bit low for a young man of 18, but nowhere near the level where problems should occur.
When the Doctor expanded his senses to examine Ranma's chi, everything looked to be healthy, if exceptional.
"This really is quite impressive, Ranma. First, in the shear volume of chi and ki you seem able to produce, but also the patterns. Everything's fine, but I've only ever seen such tightly controlled lines of chi in highly disciplined monks three times your age."
Akane resisted the urge to mallet the good doctor. Who cared how amazing Ranma's chi was. She wanted her wedding night! Ranma seemed to be of the same mind.
"Hmph! But I bet those stupid monks don't have problems with their noodle!" He growled.
Dr. Tofu chuckled. "Well, it'd be hard to tell if they did, since they take an oath not to... use... it." The doctor trailed off. They young couple looked up at him questioningly.
"Doctor, did you think of something?" Akane asked hopefully.
"I'm not sure yet. Ranma, answer me this: did you visit any temples or shrines for any length of time while traveling with your father?"
"Sure, all the time. We were training in martial arts after all. We went to lots of temples to train. They'd usually let us sleep there for free too."
"And did any of the priests do anything to you? Pressure points or moxibustion techniques?"
"Uuuuh.... Nope. Don't think so. But there was that shiatsu thing Pop used to do to me all the time. I remember having to hold still while he went poking at my back a lot. He'd been doing it for me since I was about twelve or so. But he stopped once we were headed back to Japan from China. I never bothered to ask why."
Tofu looked both eager and grim. This might be it. "And what do you know about that technique?"
Ranma scratched his head. "Pop just said it would help me focus on becoming a better Martial Artist."
Tofu rubbed his chin. It could be what he was thinking, but was even Genma that stupid and shortsighted?
Yes. Yes he was.
"Ranma, Akane, there is a shiatsu pressure point technique used by a few Bhuddist sects that dulls a man's sex drive. They find it easier to keep their vows of celibacy if their heads aren't turned by every pretty face. Other sects claim it is unnatural and in defiance of the Bhudda's beliefs. In any case, it is only meant to be applied to an adult body, of a man who never desires to be attracted to a woman for a good long time. The effects usually last about a year before the technique needs to be reapplied."
"I think Pop did it to me about once every two months." Ranma said grimly.
Tofu's mind reeled. Such a dangerous technique, overapplied by a factor of six, on a developing young boy... why didn't Genma just castrate his son and be done with it?
The teens must have noticed his shaking hands. Their eyes were wide with dread.
"B-b-b-but I feel fine!" Ranma insisted, growing frightened by everyone's reactions to something he didn't really get.
Dr. Tofu rubbed his hands together. "How can I explain this to you, Ranma? During puberty, your body undergoes some changes, so does your mind. New feelings start to come into existence. What your father has probably done has stopped some of those feelings from ever appearing. It's like brainwashing. You don't know what you've lost because you've never experienced those emotions, those... needs. But everyone else understands them. Every man, hell, even a woman like Akane, has these feelings. They NEED them; they're important, even if they sometimes distract us from what we should be doing. Your father blocked them from distracting you from your martial arts training, but he never thought about what it would eventually cost you.
"Impotence is not your problem, it's only a side effect. What you don't seem to have, Ranma, is a libido. And that is crippling. I really don't want to say this to you, but you have to understand. Without the ability to be sexually attracted to your wife, or anyone, your marriage may not survive."
Ranma looked terrified. "But... but I love her!" He insisted. He gave Akane a panicked look.
"Oh Ranma, I love you too. Don't worry about that."
Tofu nodded. "That's very good, both of you. Akane, you need to know that Ranma does understand what he means when he says he loves you. This technique wouldn't affect that sort of emotion, it's the more... primitive... emotions that he's lacking."
Akane just wrapped her arms around Ranma's shoulders and hugged him. "That's ok. Well... no, it's NOT ok, but I'm not going to leave him for it. It'd take more than that. A lot more."
Ranma looked gratefully at his wife, and said nothing.
"Ranma..." Tofu started, "I honestly don't know if I can help, but I'm going to try. I've got a lot of research to do, a lot of friends to call for advice, but I won't quit until I've exhausted every resource. We'll find you a cure.
"In the meantime," Tofu said with an uncharacteristically nasty smirk, "why don't you visit your father?"
***
"Oooh, Genma!"
"Mmm, been a long time, hasn't it Nadoka-chan?"
"Harder!"
The woman's moans rose to a shriek when the bedroom door was slammed open. Ranma was in a rage, and his wife behind him looked no happier. Ranma's eyes bugged out when he saw what he was interrupting.
"Aw geez!" he moaned as he turned away.
"I'd be embarrassed if I wasn't so envious." Akane deadpanned.
"What's the meaning of this boy!" Genma growled, standing up with a pillow in front of his waist. Nadoka had pulled the bedcovers about herself.
"Yes Ranma. While you're always welcome here at our home, you should have the courtesy to call ahead, or at the very least knock." She frowned.
Ranma turned back with a scowl. "Sorry Mom, but this a bit more important. I have to kill Pop for destroying my marriage."
"What?" Nadoka cried.
"What nonsense are you spouting boy!"
Ranma answered with a solid right hook, knocking the older man halfway back to the futon on the floor. He wished the old fart was wearing something so he could pick him up by the collar of his gi and slam him against a wall. Oh, and Genma dropped the pillow.
"Time to come clean about those 'treatments' you gave me when I was growing up. Remember, the ones you said would help me focus on improving my martial arts?"
Genma rubbed his jaw and covered himself with his other hand. "What about them? They worked, didn't they?"
If Genma had stood up, he'd have been knocked down again. Too bad he'd taught Ranma so much about honor (if not by example).
"Oh yeah, they seem to be working fine. What was it they were supposed to keep me from being distracted by again?"
"Women of course. Same reason I took you from your mother. All those teenage hormones would have had you chasing every skirt in sight. That's no way for a martial artist to act. It also had the added bonus of keeping you from getting romantically involved with another girl before I could introduce you to your fiancée."
"It's a technique to keep old monks from acting like dirty old men, you fat furball!" Ranma snarled. "You're not supposed to use it on little kids!"
Genma stood himself up and reached for his pillow. "Why should that make any difference?"
Ranma fumed, kicking his father savagely in the groin, and considering his recent activities, there was nothing hanging down in the way to offer even the slightest protection to the family jewels.
"WHY? WHY!!! Because I'm not a monk you fucking moron! I'm married!"
Nadoka was finally getting an inkling of what was going on. "Ranma... you mean... you can't... fulfil your marital obligations?"
Akane glared at the old man on his knees, clutching his privates. "It's even worse than that. He can even feel attracted to me... in that way. He has no libido at all."
Nadoka blinked in disbelief. "But... but... You peeked at Akane in the bath."
Ranma snorted. "Only because this old fool said it was the only way to keep from committing seppuku. I didn't even know there was anything wrong with me until my wedding night."
Genma was regaining the ability to speak, if in wheezing gasps. "But... I stopped the treatments... years ago."
Akane chose to explain that. "The technique was meant to be applied to an adult only once a year. Not a developing child six times a year. Didn't you read the instructions? No. Knowing _you_ I guess you didn't." She snapped.
Nadoka held her head. "Oh Genma..."
The old man looked from face to face with a sheepish chuckle. "Eheh heh... Oops?"
Ranma knocked him through the wall into the next room.
Once Genma was lucid again, Ranma asked him what Tofu had wanted to know.
"Where's the temple where you learned that stupid trick?"
Genma scratched his head. "I think it was... the Temple of the Divine Forest, in the foothills near Kyoto. Going to look for a cure, eh boy?"
Ranma scowled down at his father. "You got it old man. And if I can't make my equipment to work..."
Genma looked up expectantly.
"...I'm taking yours off."
His father went pale. "B-but Ranma, I need it! I have a responsibility to my own wife. She's been waiting for this for some time, you know and--"
"Mom's a wonderful and attractive woman. I'm sure she can find a better husband. There certainly can't be many worse out there." Ranma said darkly.
"Sounds fair to me, son." Nadoka said with the same tone, glaring at Genma.
"W-what? Nadoka-chan, please!"
"Get out of my bedroom, Genma Saotome. In fact, get out of my home. Sleeping in the yard will be good enough for someone like you."
Ranma helped his father outside via the window, before he and Akane bowed respectably to his mother and took their leave.
***
"Ah! Young Ranma! I remember you when you were only this tall! Hee hee hee." The ancient monk (who looked like he should have been buried a week ago) chuckled.
"I'm glad you remember me, Sir." Ranma said politely. "By any chance, do you remember my father as well?"
"Ah, yes. Kenma or something. That fat imbecile almost ate us out of house and home. Never could impress upon him the virtue of moderation."
Ranma and his wife smirked. "Genma. Yeah, that's Pop in a nutshell alright."
Akane spoke up. "Sir, do you remember teaching Mr. Saotome a shiatsu technique for suppressing a man's libido?"
The old monk scratched his bald head (he hadn't needed to shave his scalp for the last few decades). "Oh, you mean the Shinki technique. It means 'pure spirit'. Let me think now..." The ancient monk folded his arms and lowered his head in thought. The Saotomes politely waited for the decrepit old man to unearth his memories.
They continued to wait patiently for several minutes until the soft sound of snoring filled the room.
Ranma growled and was about to swat the monk on the head to wake him up, but his wife shot across the room first with a snarl. She landed a fierce kick to his sternum that knocked the old man across the room.
"WAKE UP YOU BASTARD! THIS IS IMPORTANT!"
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... and a woman sexually frustrated is pretty scary too.
Ranma probably saved the old monk's life when he tackled his irate wife. "Akane stop! His bones can't be much stronger than chopsticks!"
Fortunately the monk rolled back into the seiza sitting position and continued the conversation as though nothing had occurred.
"I do recall him asking to learn that technique. First he said he wanted to use it on his son to keep him focused on fighting, but we told him we wouldn't teach it to him for that. Then he said something about not seeing his wife for many years yet, and wanting to remain faithful to her until he could see her again. That sounded like a much more noble sentiment, so we taught it to him."
Ranma let his wife go and growled. "Pity you didn't know that he's a glutton AND an accomplished liar. He used the technique on me six times a year from the time I was twelve!"
The monk's eyes shot open. "WHAT? The technique was never meant for that! It should only be used once a year, and never on a developing young boy!"
"So we've gathered." Akane grumbled. "Ranma never developed a libido, and now that we're married, he can't consummate the union, even though his father stopped using the technique two years ago."
"How horrible! How awful! How tragic! How-"
"Yes! We get the idea! Now can you help us!" Akane snapped.
"Hmm..." The monk mumbled, once more lowering his head in thought. After a minute, Akane growled and drew back a fist to strike him awake again. Ranma rubbed his temples to ease his growing headache and decided to let her.
A single shriveled finger intercepted Akane's fist and she soon found herself flying through the air to land hard on her back behind the monk.
She blinked, stunned, as she tried to get her wind back. "What the..."
Ranma smirked at her. "Pop DID bring me here to study martial arts, you know."
The monk ignored Akane and looked seriously at Ranma. "Such as was done to you is unprecedented. We have never developed a cure for the Shinki technique, as we viewed it as a sort of cure itself, purifying dedicated monks of their unhealthy carnal desires. Besides, even if a monk chose to leave the Way of Bhudda to get married or something like that, his natural libido would restore itself one year from the time of his last treatment. There is no 'cure'."
Ranma and Akane sagged in depression. They practically jumped at him when the monk continued with one very important word.
"However..."
"YES? YES?"
"AIEE! Get back! You're scaring me!"
Ranma and Akane immediately resumed their polite seiza positions on the thin cushions provided for them.
The monk cleared his throat. "Ahem. However, what we do know about the technique my help you develop a cure of your own."
"Such as?" Akane prompted eagerly.
"The Shinki technique does not destroy a man's natural libido, it only suppresses what is there for a time. Unfortunately, having it applied during puberty would prevent a young boy's libido from ever developing in the first place. It's comparable to pulling a sapling out by the roots before it can ever grow into a mighty tree. Genma must have reasoned that since a teenager's hormones are much more active than an adult's, that the technique would have to be applied more frequently to keep them down, but SIX times a year..."
"What does all that mean?" Ranma pressed.
"Well, for one thing, the technique is not permanently damaging, and its effects, in and of themselves, are not cumulative. All it's done is stifle your natural growth in that area. Even six times a year, if applied to an adult, the Shinki should still wear off one year after its last application. If it's been two years since your last treatment, then there should be nothing preventing you from having a libido other than the fact that you never developed one in the first place. The Shinki technique is no longer of concern to you, only the damage it has left in its wake."
"So how do we fix this?" Akane pleaded.
The monk shrugged. "Don't ask me."
Ranma again had to tackle his wife to prevent an assault on the aged monk. "Maybe you could offer a bit of advice?"
The monk lowered his head in thought.
"OH NO!" Akane bellowed. "WE'RE NOT DOING THAT AGAIN!"
The monk sighed. Playing with youngsters was one of his few joys left in his dwindling years. Oh well. "What you need to do now is develop an artificial libido for Ranma, and perhaps that will stimulate his own innate libido to slowly grow for him as it should have when he was a boy. This is all I can think of to try."
Ranma looked lost. Akane frowned in thought. "Artificial libido... you mean aphrodisiacs?"
"It might trigger the necessary physical reaction, from which he can learn to enjoy himself in that way, thus encouraging his libido to develop naturally, though it's almost a moot point by then."
Akane was analyzing that in her mind. If they could force Ranma's member to harden, then they could have sex. If they could have sex, Ranma would enjoy it (he'd better, or she was going to hurt him). If Ranma could enjoy sex, then he would want to do it again. If he wanted to do it again, his brain would naturally try to raise the organ in question to fulfil his wishes. This could work!
She grinned eagerly and looked up at the monk. "Do you have any aphrodisiacs here?"
The monk waved his arms angrily and yelled at her. "WHY IN BHUDDA'S NAME WOULD WE KEEP AFRODISACS IN TEMPLE???"
Akane smacked her forehead. "Oh, right. Sorry." She and Ranma bowed deeply to the monk. "Thank you so much for you assistance."
The monk gave them a small blessing. "Glad to be of help. Follow the Disciplines and lead a proper life."
As the couple's footsteps faded away after they left the monk's chambers, he looked around carefully to make sure he was alone. Then he reached behind the statue of Bhudda and brought out a small medicinal bottle and a nudie magazine. Leaning back against the Bhudda's bronze belly, the old monk popped a Viagra into his mouth and flipped through the magazine with one hand as the other disappeared into his robes.
Like a man with as few remaining years as he was going to deny himself one of life's most natural little joys. He was immensely grateful he'd stopped doing that stupid Shinki thing.
***
So, show me what you got, tough guy!
-Ron Hino
Virility
By Ron Hino and ____________
Inspired by an element of T.H. Tiger's lemon fic "Poke Her" though this isn't intended to be a lemon. (10/04/02) By the same token, I have no say in where another author might take it, like Ralf Martin did to another of my Starter Kits. Looking over it again, especially what I've since added, I suppose a lemon scene is almost unavoidable. Though if the solution is that easy, this is going to be a very short story. You'll see what I mean if you read to the end.
Rated R, for mature content
It was all over, as far as Akane was concerned.
Not in the bad way: the fiancées, the bizarre challenges, the hidden desires and denial of their love behind a wall of insincere insults. It was finally over.
She was now Akane Saotome, beloved wife to Ranma.
Oh certainly, it hadn't been that simple. It had taken many hurt feelings and bumps in the road to get them here. After the wedding (the successful one) Ukyou had been a wreck, and Shampoo little better. They had both been despondent and miserable, but at least they were accepting what they could not change. Akane had even heard Ukyou invite Shampoo to her place to drink away their sorrows after the ceremony. Cologne had just looked at the new married couple with a tired expression that made her, for once, truly seem as old as she claimed to be. Then she and Mousse left together.
Akane was grateful she'd had the foresight to pull Mousse aside and advise him not to push things right now. Shampoo was miserable, heartbroken, and in no mood for his usual glomps and professions of love. If he would just quietly be there for her, be a shoulder to cry on for her, then maybe, when she was ready to try at love again, he would be the one she turned to. At the very worst, they would grow closer as friends. Mousse had apparently seen the wisdom in her advice.
Ukyou would have Konatsu to take care of her. He needed no coaching to be the shoulder she could cry on. And tomorrow morning, he would be the hands that held her head over the toilet while she recovered from the serious bender she was apparently planning.
Ryouga was surprisingly cheerful at the wedding, though that may have had something to do with the cute and bubbly Akari who held his hand and cried into her tissues throughout the ceremony. Akane suspected he had once had a crush on her, but he appeared to have moved on, much to her relief. Ryouga deserved all the happiness life had to offer. Maybe she could be at their wedding a year or two down the road.
The Kunous had been hospitalized the day before the wedding, and weren't scheduled for release until several weeks after the honeymoon would end. Neither Ranma nor Akane particularly gave a damn if they were ever happy.
And now, Akane Saotome lay in the arms of her husband, the invincible Ranma Saotome, who had fought Chinese kings and gods for her, who had weathered her temper and jealousy, and even done the unthinkable: sampled her cooking more than once.
This was the night Akane had been waiting for. She was nervous and excited all at once. In what had once been her room, he followed her scantily clad form into what was once her bed. His eyes shone with love as he kissed her tenderly, then wrapped her in his strong arms. Akane smiled as she closed her eyes and waited.
And waited...
And waited...
And waited...
*ZZZZzzzzzz*
"Ranma no baka!" *WHAP*
"Huh? Wha?"
"What are you doing?"
"Well... I was sleeping."
"Obviously! And isn't there anything else you'd like to do? Before we go to sleep?"
"Like what?"
*WHAP*
"Ow! What'd do that for?"
"Are you stupid or something? This is our WEDDING night!"
"Right. So we're supposed to sleep together. That's what I was doing."
"..."
"What?" Ranma said, looking at her blankly.
"You ARE stupid." She muttered.
"Hey!"
Akane let out a deep sigh. Surely life on the road couldn't leave him THAT ignorant! "Didn't you pay attention in health class?"
"Do I _ever_ pay attention to any class other than gym?"
"I don't believe this." She muttered. "Do you even know what sex is?"
"Sure. It's what animals do to have babies."
"People do it too you know." She sighed.
"Right. That's how you 'n me got here. So?"
Akane took a deep breath to calm her temper. "A husband and wife are supposed to have sex for the first time on their wedding night." She explained slowly.
"News to me. I though we were just supposed to sleep together."
"That's what 'sleeping together' usually means, idiot!"
"Oh, it's one of those yu-fa thingys, right?"
"A euphemism. Exactly. And were supposed to do it tonight."
"How do you 'do' a euphemism?"
Akane started banging her head against the wall.
"Go Ranma Go!" Nabiki cheered from the other side of the wall. "Wild Stallion indeed. Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna have to start charging you for keeping me from my beauty rest, but it's your wedding night, so go nuts!" The sound of a radio came through the wall shortly after that.
Akane turned beet red. She could put up with being embarrassed over this if they had actually been _doing_ anything. She turned back to Ranma and tried it again with gritted teeth... and small words.
"You and I are supposed to have sex tonight."
"Why?"
"What do you mean, 'why'? Don't you _want_ to have sex with me?"
"Well... not really." Ranma admitted.
Akane felt like she'd been stabbed through the heart. "W-what?"
"Well I don't really wanna have kids so soon." He said, scratching his head. "Do you?"
Akane grasped at the thread of hope.
"N-no Ranma. I don't want children just yet. I started taking pills that will keep me from having children. So you don't need to worry about that. Now do you want to have sex with me?"
"What's the point?"
Akane felt like her heart had dropped into her stomach. "W-what do you mean?" She asked meekly.
"I mean... if you took those pills, we won't have kids. Why would we have sex if not to have kids?"
Akane's heart took a tentative step up again. It appeared it was just his stupidity, not what she thought. She just needed to check one more thing before she could relax...
"Ranma... do you love me?" She said in a choked voice.
Even Ranma (thanks to a LOT of coaching from his until-recently estranged mother) knew he couldn't risk letting her think he didn't love her. He moved toward her and embraced her.
"Of course I love you. I love you more than life itself. If I didn't have you, live wouldn't be worth living."
Akane sighed with relief and squeezed him tightly around the waist. Tears slid down her cheeks and onto his lean muscled chest. She let out a few cleansing sobs before she pulled herself together.
"Then why don't you want to make love to me?"
"This is like that 'sleeping together' thing, right?"
She didn't know whether to groan or giggle. She sighed. "Yes, Ranma."
He was starting to get the feeling that this sex thing was important, maybe almost as important as him loving her.
"It's not that I don't _want_ to. I just don't see any reason to." He said, hoping he wasn't just making her more upset.
Akane's Ego had been taking a serious beating, and as it usually did, it ran and hid behind the legs of Anger. Anger was all set to let fly with the mallets, when Love put a hand on his arm. Anger grudgingly permitted Reason to try and handle this, but swore if that idiot Ranma hurt little Ego again, he'd feel pain like never before.
Outside of the psyche, Akane gently pushed away from him. "No reason? Let me see if I can do something about that."
She stood away from him and did a small pirouette, before bending towards him with her hands on her knees. All she was wearing was the sexy white lace panty and bra Auntie Saotome had got her for the honeymoon, which came with a garter belt and smooth stockings. Her pose showed a lot of cleavage, and the whole outfit a lot of skin, while hiding only the most interesting bits.
"So," she smiled at him, "What do you think of me?"
Ranma was about to go into an amusing monologue about her manly muscles, and the fact that her breasts, for all they had grown in the last two years, we're still slightly smaller than his girl form (which had also matured in the last two years. Damn!) when he remembered his mother explaining that Akane did not enjoy that game nearly as much as he did. He swallowed his pride and nervousness and answered as honestly as he could.
"You're beautiful."
Akane smiled. "Tell me what you like about me."
"You're cute, kind and smart, way smarter than me anyway, and... when you smile... you're the most beautiful girl in the world."
Akane smiled wider. Deep within her, Ego was doing the Dance of Joy, with Love as her partner. Still, this wasn't exactly what she had been looking for. She straightened and stretched her arms over her head, posing again.
"What do you like about my body? Tell me what you think of it." She asked.
Ranma stomped on his tease reflex again and ran his eyes up her beautiful form. "You've got long legs, and they're not skinny like some girls, or fat either. They've got muscle to them, so they look just the right shape. You can tell they're strong just by looking at them, but they're not bulging with muscle like on a man. They're strong like a woman is strong. You're whole body is like that; lean and hard, but undeniably feminine."
He'd have to thank Nabiki for that description later. On second thought, considering what he paid, thanks were unnecessary. Still, he'd never have guessed Akane worried so much about how her beloved martial arts made her body look, or that she might sometimes wish she had a softer look to her like her sisters. Guess only her sisters would know her that well. From the look of delight in Akane's eyes, it had been money well spent.
"And my breasts? What do you think of them? They're not as big as your girl side."
"Maybe, but so what? The boobs on my girl side get in my way a lot. I had to readjust most of my moves in girl form just to counter the weight of the things throwing off my balance. Yours are big too, do you ever have that problem?"
Akane blushed and smiled. "Can't say that I do."
"Hmm. Wish I had them in your size then. Not small, but not too big either. They're just perfect."
. Ranma thought. She had also told him not to say any of this if he didn't think it was true, because Akane would know if he were lying. He didn't need to lie, but he was grateful to all three women for helping him sort out his words, so he wouldn't put his foot in his mouth yet again.
Akane's Ego was doing cartwheels now. She strode towards him purposefully. "And how does it make you feel, looking at me?" She grinned.
"'Feel'?"
"Tell you what, you've done enough descriptions for one night. I'll just look for myself." She giggled as she grabbed the bottoms of his boxer shorts, his last article of clothing.
"What do you... HEY!" He yelped in surprise as she snatched his shorts down his legs and off.
There it was; what she had been looking forward to all night. She hadn't seen one since she grew too old to take baths with Daddy, and she obviously hadn't been looking at the time. Ranma's manhood, which she had worked up the courage to have willingly plunge into her body, tearing away whatever her training had left of her hymen. She had been ready for that, looking forward to it.
And the damn thing was laying there like a piece of cooked spaghetti.
"It isn't hard." Akane moaned in disappointment.
"What isn't?" Ranma asked.
His ignorance was getting to her. "THAT!" She said, pointing.
"Is it supposed to do that?"
"YES IT-- Ranma, are you saying it's never gotten hard before? Never got bigger and all stiff?"
"'Course not. How would I aim it when I piss if it was all stiff?"
Cold, frightening realization hit Akane between the eyes. "Ohmygod! Ranma, you're impotent!"
"Meaning what, exactly?" Ranma asked. He didn't know the word, but it didn't sound like anything good, especially taking into account the look of horror on her face. When she dropped to her knees, crying into his lap (no not _there_, down a few inches) he knew it was bad.
"Ranma! I'm so sorry! I swear I'll do everything I can to help you!"
"Holy shit! Akane... am I... am I dying?" Ranma asked.
Akane looked up, offering him a brave smile. "No... No Ranma it's not as bad as that. Impotent means you can't get hard down here. If you can't, than we can't make love... and we can never have children."
Ranma still didn't get what the big deal was with this making love business, but children he could understand.
"Damn." He said, seeming to finally understand the magnitude of the problem. "I... I really wanted kids. Not right away, but someday I sure did. I wanted to be a father. I... I was sure I could do a better job of it than my stupid old man."
Akane sat beside him on the bed and hugged him. "I know you would have Ranma, I'm sure of it." She took him by the shoulders and kissed him. "But I'm not giving up yet, and neither are you! Ranma Saotome never loses, right?"
Ranma grinned "You're right. And neither," he kissed her again, "does Akane Saotome."
Her grin was full of the confidence her husband was famous for, she looked ready to go into battle. "I won't give up Ranma. I'll do whatever it takes." She stood away from him and looked back at him over her shoulder, smiling coyly. "Maybe you just want to see a little more, hmm?" She cooed as she slid the bra strap down her shoulder.
Ranma gulped. He was still getting used to the idea that he was in Akane's bedroom (_their_ room now) and she was nearly naked (and becoming more so) and she wasn't hitting him in the head. His instincts were telling him to run for it. He shook his head to clear it and continued to stare, reminding himself that not only was he allowed to look now, but he was _supposed_ to. He was her husband; she was his wife. All she had to offer was for his eyes and his alone.
Besides, she'd already gotten a good look at him. Might as well look at her too, right?
***
Morning came to the married couple. Akane woke first. She lifted her head from her husband's chest and smiled. He looked so cute asleep. Then she remembered the night before and her face fell. She slowly rose and pulled on a yukata. She looked sadly at the sleeping Ranma once more before gathering her bath things and heading downstairs.
As she scrubbed herself and then sat in the hot water (bless Kasumi-oneechan, always up so early) she kept running the same four words through her mind, beating herself up with them.
She had failed him.
Akane had tried everything. She'd done a slow striptease, danced erotically for him, then danced outright gratuitously for him (her face had never been that red in her life). She'd taken his hesitant hands and placed them all over her body, _all_ over. She'd taken him in her hands, trying to make him hard. She'd even taken him in her mouth, something she'd always thought disgusting and had sworn in front of her girlfriends that she'd never do, no matter what. She'd talked dirty, acted like a porn slut, like a totally shameless whore, all in an attempt to get a reaction.
Little Ranma lay as limp as when they had started.
Big Ranma, on the other hand, was wondering who she was and what she had done with his wife. He looked a little scared.
Finally exhausted, both emotionally and physically, Akane had collapsed against him in tears, falling asleep to the sound of his apologizing. For all that he insisted that it wasn't her fault, she couldn't stop wondering if there was something she did or hadn't done, that had left him unable to perform.
***
Kasumi looked worried as Ranma finally came downstairs. He was the last to awake, and everyone else was finishing breakfast. "Where's Akane? She wasn't there when I woke up."
All the adults looked at each other, and wordlessly left the table, going out to the yard. Nabiki left too, but only around a corner where she could eavesdrop. Ranma watched his parents and in-laws vanish with a growing sense of unease. He turned to the nervous-looking Kasumi.
"What's going on? Where's Akane?"
Kasumi gathered herself. She could tell he was worried about his wife, that was a good sign. "Well... a little while ago, Akane said she was going to see Dr. Tofu about something. Mr. Saotome made a joke about not being able to tell if she was pregnant so soon, and she screamed at him to shut the... something... up. She was in tears, Ranma. Did you hurt her last night? Why does she need to go to the doctor's?"
Ranma looked stricken. No wonder everyone was avoiding him. They thought he'd beat her or something.
"No Kasumi. Akane's just fine, physically at least. I swear I didn't hurt her, but I think she might be upset about something. I should really go check."
Kasumi smiled with relief. "I knew you wouldn't hurt her, Ranma. She left about twenty minutes ago. Better hurry."
Ranma offered a weak smile and nodded, dashing to the front door.
The first thing he heard when he entered the clinic was sobbing. He quietly moved to Dr. Tofu's office and peaked in the door. Akane was sitting next to Tofu and crying into his chest, just like she had when her hair had been abruptly cut short, years ago.
"I did everything I could think of, Doctor! I did things I never thought I'd do. I don't even want to tell you about some of them, but it wasn't enough!"
"Calm down, Akane. You don't have to tell me about anything you tried, I get the picture. I really don't think the problem is you. I want you to bring Ranma in for an examination as soon as possible. Lots of things can cause impotence: a simple chemical imbalance, hormones, stress..."
"It was worse than that, Dr. Tofu. It wasn't like he wanted it to get hard, and it just wouldn't. It was like he didn't find me arousing at all. He even said, he just didn't see any reason to. Oh he tried as soon as he saw how much I wanted to, but I didn't do anything for him. He loves me, but he doesn't find me sexy! Doctor, what do I do now?"
"Um... well... bring Ranma in, and we'll go from there. If it's a physical problem, I can help, and if it's not, I know people who can. I promise we'll fix Ranma up."
"Then stop yapping and start examining." Ranma said, coming into the room. "I don't really understand why this is important, but I can't stand to see Akane cry another second, especially not because of me."
"Ranma..." Akane said, somewhat startled. "I... I didn't mean to spread your problem around, but Dr. Tofu--"
"The Doctor can help fix it. No problem. Let's just fix this." He said, looking at Dr. Tofu with iron determination.
The Doctor waved him to the examination table, matching Ranma's seriousness. "Right this way."
A VERY complete physical had revealed Ranma to be, as always, an ideal specimen of good health. Circulation through the penis was normal, A blood test would reveal testosterone production levels were a bit low for a young man of 18, but nowhere near the level where problems should occur.
When the Doctor expanded his senses to examine Ranma's chi, everything looked to be healthy, if exceptional.
"This really is quite impressive, Ranma. First, in the shear volume of chi and ki you seem able to produce, but also the patterns. Everything's fine, but I've only ever seen such tightly controlled lines of chi in highly disciplined monks three times your age."
Akane resisted the urge to mallet the good doctor. Who cared how amazing Ranma's chi was. She wanted her wedding night! Ranma seemed to be of the same mind.
"Hmph! But I bet those stupid monks don't have problems with their noodle!" He growled.
Dr. Tofu chuckled. "Well, it'd be hard to tell if they did, since they take an oath not to... use... it." The doctor trailed off. They young couple looked up at him questioningly.
"Doctor, did you think of something?" Akane asked hopefully.
"I'm not sure yet. Ranma, answer me this: did you visit any temples or shrines for any length of time while traveling with your father?"
"Sure, all the time. We were training in martial arts after all. We went to lots of temples to train. They'd usually let us sleep there for free too."
"And did any of the priests do anything to you? Pressure points or moxibustion techniques?"
"Uuuuh.... Nope. Don't think so. But there was that shiatsu thing Pop used to do to me all the time. I remember having to hold still while he went poking at my back a lot. He'd been doing it for me since I was about twelve or so. But he stopped once we were headed back to Japan from China. I never bothered to ask why."
Tofu looked both eager and grim. This might be it. "And what do you know about that technique?"
Ranma scratched his head. "Pop just said it would help me focus on becoming a better Martial Artist."
Tofu rubbed his chin. It could be what he was thinking, but was even Genma that stupid and shortsighted?
Yes. Yes he was.
"Ranma, Akane, there is a shiatsu pressure point technique used by a few Bhuddist sects that dulls a man's sex drive. They find it easier to keep their vows of celibacy if their heads aren't turned by every pretty face. Other sects claim it is unnatural and in defiance of the Bhudda's beliefs. In any case, it is only meant to be applied to an adult body, of a man who never desires to be attracted to a woman for a good long time. The effects usually last about a year before the technique needs to be reapplied."
"I think Pop did it to me about once every two months." Ranma said grimly.
Tofu's mind reeled. Such a dangerous technique, overapplied by a factor of six, on a developing young boy... why didn't Genma just castrate his son and be done with it?
The teens must have noticed his shaking hands. Their eyes were wide with dread.
"B-b-b-but I feel fine!" Ranma insisted, growing frightened by everyone's reactions to something he didn't really get.
Dr. Tofu rubbed his hands together. "How can I explain this to you, Ranma? During puberty, your body undergoes some changes, so does your mind. New feelings start to come into existence. What your father has probably done has stopped some of those feelings from ever appearing. It's like brainwashing. You don't know what you've lost because you've never experienced those emotions, those... needs. But everyone else understands them. Every man, hell, even a woman like Akane, has these feelings. They NEED them; they're important, even if they sometimes distract us from what we should be doing. Your father blocked them from distracting you from your martial arts training, but he never thought about what it would eventually cost you.
"Impotence is not your problem, it's only a side effect. What you don't seem to have, Ranma, is a libido. And that is crippling. I really don't want to say this to you, but you have to understand. Without the ability to be sexually attracted to your wife, or anyone, your marriage may not survive."
Ranma looked terrified. "But... but I love her!" He insisted. He gave Akane a panicked look.
"Oh Ranma, I love you too. Don't worry about that."
Tofu nodded. "That's very good, both of you. Akane, you need to know that Ranma does understand what he means when he says he loves you. This technique wouldn't affect that sort of emotion, it's the more... primitive... emotions that he's lacking."
Akane just wrapped her arms around Ranma's shoulders and hugged him. "That's ok. Well... no, it's NOT ok, but I'm not going to leave him for it. It'd take more than that. A lot more."
Ranma looked gratefully at his wife, and said nothing.
"Ranma..." Tofu started, "I honestly don't know if I can help, but I'm going to try. I've got a lot of research to do, a lot of friends to call for advice, but I won't quit until I've exhausted every resource. We'll find you a cure.
"In the meantime," Tofu said with an uncharacteristically nasty smirk, "why don't you visit your father?"
***
"Oooh, Genma!"
"Mmm, been a long time, hasn't it Nadoka-chan?"
"Harder!"
The woman's moans rose to a shriek when the bedroom door was slammed open. Ranma was in a rage, and his wife behind him looked no happier. Ranma's eyes bugged out when he saw what he was interrupting.
"Aw geez!" he moaned as he turned away.
"I'd be embarrassed if I wasn't so envious." Akane deadpanned.
"What's the meaning of this boy!" Genma growled, standing up with a pillow in front of his waist. Nadoka had pulled the bedcovers about herself.
"Yes Ranma. While you're always welcome here at our home, you should have the courtesy to call ahead, or at the very least knock." She frowned.
Ranma turned back with a scowl. "Sorry Mom, but this a bit more important. I have to kill Pop for destroying my marriage."
"What?" Nadoka cried.
"What nonsense are you spouting boy!"
Ranma answered with a solid right hook, knocking the older man halfway back to the futon on the floor. He wished the old fart was wearing something so he could pick him up by the collar of his gi and slam him against a wall. Oh, and Genma dropped the pillow.
"Time to come clean about those 'treatments' you gave me when I was growing up. Remember, the ones you said would help me focus on improving my martial arts?"
Genma rubbed his jaw and covered himself with his other hand. "What about them? They worked, didn't they?"
If Genma had stood up, he'd have been knocked down again. Too bad he'd taught Ranma so much about honor (if not by example).
"Oh yeah, they seem to be working fine. What was it they were supposed to keep me from being distracted by again?"
"Women of course. Same reason I took you from your mother. All those teenage hormones would have had you chasing every skirt in sight. That's no way for a martial artist to act. It also had the added bonus of keeping you from getting romantically involved with another girl before I could introduce you to your fiancée."
"It's a technique to keep old monks from acting like dirty old men, you fat furball!" Ranma snarled. "You're not supposed to use it on little kids!"
Genma stood himself up and reached for his pillow. "Why should that make any difference?"
Ranma fumed, kicking his father savagely in the groin, and considering his recent activities, there was nothing hanging down in the way to offer even the slightest protection to the family jewels.
"WHY? WHY!!! Because I'm not a monk you fucking moron! I'm married!"
Nadoka was finally getting an inkling of what was going on. "Ranma... you mean... you can't... fulfil your marital obligations?"
Akane glared at the old man on his knees, clutching his privates. "It's even worse than that. He can even feel attracted to me... in that way. He has no libido at all."
Nadoka blinked in disbelief. "But... but... You peeked at Akane in the bath."
Ranma snorted. "Only because this old fool said it was the only way to keep from committing seppuku. I didn't even know there was anything wrong with me until my wedding night."
Genma was regaining the ability to speak, if in wheezing gasps. "But... I stopped the treatments... years ago."
Akane chose to explain that. "The technique was meant to be applied to an adult only once a year. Not a developing child six times a year. Didn't you read the instructions? No. Knowing _you_ I guess you didn't." She snapped.
Nadoka held her head. "Oh Genma..."
The old man looked from face to face with a sheepish chuckle. "Eheh heh... Oops?"
Ranma knocked him through the wall into the next room.
Once Genma was lucid again, Ranma asked him what Tofu had wanted to know.
"Where's the temple where you learned that stupid trick?"
Genma scratched his head. "I think it was... the Temple of the Divine Forest, in the foothills near Kyoto. Going to look for a cure, eh boy?"
Ranma scowled down at his father. "You got it old man. And if I can't make my equipment to work..."
Genma looked up expectantly.
"...I'm taking yours off."
His father went pale. "B-but Ranma, I need it! I have a responsibility to my own wife. She's been waiting for this for some time, you know and--"
"Mom's a wonderful and attractive woman. I'm sure she can find a better husband. There certainly can't be many worse out there." Ranma said darkly.
"Sounds fair to me, son." Nadoka said with the same tone, glaring at Genma.
"W-what? Nadoka-chan, please!"
"Get out of my bedroom, Genma Saotome. In fact, get out of my home. Sleeping in the yard will be good enough for someone like you."
Ranma helped his father outside via the window, before he and Akane bowed respectably to his mother and took their leave.
***
"Ah! Young Ranma! I remember you when you were only this tall! Hee hee hee." The ancient monk (who looked like he should have been buried a week ago) chuckled.
"I'm glad you remember me, Sir." Ranma said politely. "By any chance, do you remember my father as well?"
"Ah, yes. Kenma or something. That fat imbecile almost ate us out of house and home. Never could impress upon him the virtue of moderation."
Ranma and his wife smirked. "Genma. Yeah, that's Pop in a nutshell alright."
Akane spoke up. "Sir, do you remember teaching Mr. Saotome a shiatsu technique for suppressing a man's libido?"
The old monk scratched his bald head (he hadn't needed to shave his scalp for the last few decades). "Oh, you mean the Shinki technique. It means 'pure spirit'. Let me think now..." The ancient monk folded his arms and lowered his head in thought. The Saotomes politely waited for the decrepit old man to unearth his memories.
They continued to wait patiently for several minutes until the soft sound of snoring filled the room.
Ranma growled and was about to swat the monk on the head to wake him up, but his wife shot across the room first with a snarl. She landed a fierce kick to his sternum that knocked the old man across the room.
"WAKE UP YOU BASTARD! THIS IS IMPORTANT!"
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... and a woman sexually frustrated is pretty scary too.
Ranma probably saved the old monk's life when he tackled his irate wife. "Akane stop! His bones can't be much stronger than chopsticks!"
Fortunately the monk rolled back into the seiza sitting position and continued the conversation as though nothing had occurred.
"I do recall him asking to learn that technique. First he said he wanted to use it on his son to keep him focused on fighting, but we told him we wouldn't teach it to him for that. Then he said something about not seeing his wife for many years yet, and wanting to remain faithful to her until he could see her again. That sounded like a much more noble sentiment, so we taught it to him."
Ranma let his wife go and growled. "Pity you didn't know that he's a glutton AND an accomplished liar. He used the technique on me six times a year from the time I was twelve!"
The monk's eyes shot open. "WHAT? The technique was never meant for that! It should only be used once a year, and never on a developing young boy!"
"So we've gathered." Akane grumbled. "Ranma never developed a libido, and now that we're married, he can't consummate the union, even though his father stopped using the technique two years ago."
"How horrible! How awful! How tragic! How-"
"Yes! We get the idea! Now can you help us!" Akane snapped.
"Hmm..." The monk mumbled, once more lowering his head in thought. After a minute, Akane growled and drew back a fist to strike him awake again. Ranma rubbed his temples to ease his growing headache and decided to let her.
A single shriveled finger intercepted Akane's fist and she soon found herself flying through the air to land hard on her back behind the monk.
She blinked, stunned, as she tried to get her wind back. "What the..."
Ranma smirked at her. "Pop DID bring me here to study martial arts, you know."
The monk ignored Akane and looked seriously at Ranma. "Such as was done to you is unprecedented. We have never developed a cure for the Shinki technique, as we viewed it as a sort of cure itself, purifying dedicated monks of their unhealthy carnal desires. Besides, even if a monk chose to leave the Way of Bhudda to get married or something like that, his natural libido would restore itself one year from the time of his last treatment. There is no 'cure'."
Ranma and Akane sagged in depression. They practically jumped at him when the monk continued with one very important word.
"However..."
"YES? YES?"
"AIEE! Get back! You're scaring me!"
Ranma and Akane immediately resumed their polite seiza positions on the thin cushions provided for them.
The monk cleared his throat. "Ahem. However, what we do know about the technique my help you develop a cure of your own."
"Such as?" Akane prompted eagerly.
"The Shinki technique does not destroy a man's natural libido, it only suppresses what is there for a time. Unfortunately, having it applied during puberty would prevent a young boy's libido from ever developing in the first place. It's comparable to pulling a sapling out by the roots before it can ever grow into a mighty tree. Genma must have reasoned that since a teenager's hormones are much more active than an adult's, that the technique would have to be applied more frequently to keep them down, but SIX times a year..."
"What does all that mean?" Ranma pressed.
"Well, for one thing, the technique is not permanently damaging, and its effects, in and of themselves, are not cumulative. All it's done is stifle your natural growth in that area. Even six times a year, if applied to an adult, the Shinki should still wear off one year after its last application. If it's been two years since your last treatment, then there should be nothing preventing you from having a libido other than the fact that you never developed one in the first place. The Shinki technique is no longer of concern to you, only the damage it has left in its wake."
"So how do we fix this?" Akane pleaded.
The monk shrugged. "Don't ask me."
Ranma again had to tackle his wife to prevent an assault on the aged monk. "Maybe you could offer a bit of advice?"
The monk lowered his head in thought.
"OH NO!" Akane bellowed. "WE'RE NOT DOING THAT AGAIN!"
The monk sighed. Playing with youngsters was one of his few joys left in his dwindling years. Oh well. "What you need to do now is develop an artificial libido for Ranma, and perhaps that will stimulate his own innate libido to slowly grow for him as it should have when he was a boy. This is all I can think of to try."
Ranma looked lost. Akane frowned in thought. "Artificial libido... you mean aphrodisiacs?"
"It might trigger the necessary physical reaction, from which he can learn to enjoy himself in that way, thus encouraging his libido to develop naturally, though it's almost a moot point by then."
Akane was analyzing that in her mind. If they could force Ranma's member to harden, then they could have sex. If they could have sex, Ranma would enjoy it (he'd better, or she was going to hurt him). If Ranma could enjoy sex, then he would want to do it again. If he wanted to do it again, his brain would naturally try to raise the organ in question to fulfil his wishes. This could work!
She grinned eagerly and looked up at the monk. "Do you have any aphrodisiacs here?"
The monk waved his arms angrily and yelled at her. "WHY IN BHUDDA'S NAME WOULD WE KEEP AFRODISACS IN TEMPLE???"
Akane smacked her forehead. "Oh, right. Sorry." She and Ranma bowed deeply to the monk. "Thank you so much for you assistance."
The monk gave them a small blessing. "Glad to be of help. Follow the Disciplines and lead a proper life."
As the couple's footsteps faded away after they left the monk's chambers, he looked around carefully to make sure he was alone. Then he reached behind the statue of Bhudda and brought out a small medicinal bottle and a nudie magazine. Leaning back against the Bhudda's bronze belly, the old monk popped a Viagra into his mouth and flipped through the magazine with one hand as the other disappeared into his robes.
Like a man with as few remaining years as he was going to deny himself one of life's most natural little joys. He was immensely grateful he'd stopped doing that stupid Shinki thing.
***
