Hi there! This is one of my 'Starter Kits'. A fanfiction idea that seemed really good when I started, but ground to a halt when my creativity ran dry, or as I became involved in other projects and completely forgot where I intended to go with this. So I'm posting these 'Starter Kits' up so that other authors can continue my ideas, flesh them out, or even take them in a wild new direction. All I ask is that you consult me before making changes to the part that I've put down here. Perhaps later I'll try to pick up from where you leave off, or we might just alternate writing chapters. I'm intentionally leaving this open-ended.
So, show me what you got, tough guy!
-Ron Hino

P.S. Unlike the other two Starters I've posted, this one is a whole chapter, so the continuing Author's work should begin as Chapter 2


Second Wife
Chapter Two

A work of fanfiction by Ron Hino and _________

[...] Chinese (or any non-Japanese language)
thoughts
(A.N. ...) Author's supposedly witty or informative commentary.

================================================================================


Shampoo bursting (as in 'bursting through a wall' bursting) into the Tendo household wasn't that rare an occurrence, however it had been more than a year since she'd done so with weapons ready. One generally expected her to come bearing free ramen for Ranma (occasionally with an extra special ingredient or two). The fact that she knew very well that Ranma was away on a training trip with his father (rumor had it Nadoka was thinking of visiting this week) was also a bad sign.
"Where Akane?" She demanded of Kasumi.
"Um, I think she's in the dojo, but what are you going to do with the sword?"
Shampoo dashed past her without answering. Kasumi bit her lip with worry and ran to find her father. She never involved herself in the fighting around her, but she did keep tabs on who was better than who. Her little sister stood a good chance of being hurt by the heavily armed amazon. Odd though, Shampoo didn't seem like she was mad about something; more like 'eager'.

Akane had just broke another set of bricks when Shampoo dashed into the dojo.
"You I kill!"
"Huh?"
Akane jumped back just in time to miss being cut in half. Of course she fell completely for the bonbori thrust into her gut that followed. Shampoo made good use of her superior strength to send her rival flying into the far wall.
"You is obstacle for Ranma. This time he no help you. Ranma forgive Shampoo for kill Akane someday. Then be happy with Amazon wife, not weak Japanese girl." She sneered.
Akane stood up with difficulty. "So, after all this time the little savage returns to her roots, eh?"
Shampoo shrugged easily. "Realize long time in Japan make Shampoo soft. Not want to kill anymore. Remember true Amazon no balk at little blood. Now I kill!"
Just as Shampoo darted forward, Soun burst through the doorway with his elder daughters at his heels. "Stay away from my daughter you little tramp!" He cried.
"Dad, stay back! This is my fight!"
"Is true. One on one fight only honorable way for warrior. But this time Akane no walk away." The Chinese girl said mockingly, a cruel smile marring her beautiful face.
Soun was NOT happy to hear that. "Dammit! Akane stand aside and let your father-"
"NO! My fight! If I can't face her challenge by myself then I've got no right to call myself a martial artist!"
With extreme reluctance, Soun stepped back. His face grew cold and stern, as he reached up to the pair of yari that hung on the wall. He tossed one to Akane, who accepted it gratefully. With the polearm, she would be able to keep a bit of distance between the two.
(A.N. a yari is a polearm weapon consisting of a long staff with a slightly curved blade about a foot long on one end. It is similar to a spear, except it is almost never thrown and the blade is longer than typical of spears. Soun uses one a few times in the anime and manga often while wearing a full suit of Samurai armor. Not to be confused with a naginata, which is more of a pike frequently used by women of the samurai cast.)
As all eyes turned to the battle, no one noticed Soun take down the other yari and stand poised to move with the weapon in hand. If that damned Chinese bitch hurt his little girl...
To Akane's credit, she managed to defend against Shampoo's assault for nearly a full minute before she was disarmed by Shampoo's greater weapons experience. She was hurt badly, the bonbori having snapped her right leg at the knee. Her body shook with pain as she struggled to maintain her position on her hands and one good knee. This was combat at a whole other level then she was used to. Always before she'd been sure her opponents were trying to defeat her. Now, it was obvious that Shampoo wanted to crush her, break her,
And kill her.
Shampoo placed the tip of the sword under Akane's chin. "Akane give up Ranma? Is last chance."
"F-f-fuck you!" She snarled, shuddering with pain.
Shampoo seemed to sigh sadly. "Goodbye Akane," she said as she drew back her sword for the final cut.
She suddenly found herself flying across the dojo, and only when she rolled to a stop did she feel the exploding pain in her side. Who had struck her?
Soun Tendo stood in a combat stance between her and Akane, his yari at the ready, and his grim expression carved in stone.
"Dad?"
"I'm sorry Akane, but you've failed. Now you have to swallow your pride and let your father do his duty in protecting his family." He respected his daughter's pride in her abilities, but he wouldn't let her die for it. There were limits to honor.
Shampoo stood with a snarl. "Stupid old man! Get out of way! This private fight."
"If you see my daughter as an obstacle to your marriage to Ranma, then I am an obstacle to your obstacle. You'll have to get through me if you want to so much as put a scratch in my little girl!" He thudded the floor with the unbladed end of the yari, producing a challenging boom.
"She's already more than scratched." Whispered Nabiki. Kasumi shushed her and the two discretely pulled Akane off to the side.
"Old fool want die, that fine with Shampoo!" She cried as she charged. She knew Soun spent his days sitting around playing shogi with Ranma's father. He was weak and soft now, if he had ever been something once.
It is often said how the most dangerous creature in nature is a mother protecting her young. Very little is mentioned however about what happens if the mother dies, and the father alone is left to guard the young. Would a single father in nature (a bear for instance) be able to tap the raw ferocity that the mother would have? One theory states that since males are naturally more aggressive, that in the absence of the mother, the father defending his young may be even more dangerous then the mother ever could be. And that's just animals.
Now let's return to the humans to whom such metaphors are usually applied. Humans have more complex emotions than beasts. The pain of losing a wife could drive a father to such desperation, that he would raise all the demons of hell to protect the young reminders of that beloved women that still remained to him.
Or he might become a demon himself.
Soun did not move from his position; did not open a path for Shampoo to reach Akane. The Amazon's strikes were smashed aside with such power that the wooden shaft of the yari actually snapped the blade of her sword. The bladed end quickly destroyed the bonbori in her other hand, both strikes moving at speeds that would have made her great-grandmother raise her eyebrows. As Shampoo stood there stunned, the shaft slammed into her solar plexus with a force that would have killed a less conditioned Amazon. For his final strike, Soun unconsciously chose the same knee that Shampoo had broken on his little girl. As Shampoo fell to the ground, unable to breath or scream, Soun finished by placing the blade under the quivering Shampoo's chin, pressing down just enough to draw blood. He glared down at her hatefully.
At this point, Shampoo passed out from physical shock (fear couldn't have been a factor! She was an Amazon warrior, dammit! Amazon warriors did not fear _men_!)
Soun needed several deep breaths before he could bring himself to pull the yari away from her throat. He had desperately wanted to lean in, and push it home. As the fury of paternal rage left him, he felt rather tired, as though he had burned up all his blood sugars in a few seconds.
He looked around to find all three of his daughter's staring at him with open mouths.
"Wow." Nabiki managed.

Dr. Tofu had finished bandaging Akane's cuts and set and splinted her knee. He was currently cataloguing Shampoo's injuries (Soun had been quite insistent as to who the Doctor should treat first).
"Two cracked ribs, a shattered knee cap, severe bruising of the abdomen... whoever did this was incredibly strong. He must have been huge!"
"That would be our Daddy." Nabiki said with amusement. She had sent Kasumi out to acquire crutches for Akane to use, while Tofu looked her over. She should be back any time, but the Doctor was treating Shampoo right now, so that was okay. ;)
Tofu looked at the middle-aged man with raised eyebrows.
Soun shrugged. "She tried to kill my little girl."
"I see." Was all Tofu said in answer to that. He put Shampoo's leg in a splint. Sorting out the many bone fragments of her knee would require surgery. There was little he could do about the ribs right now, but he had ice brought to put on the bruising. He had just laid the ice pack on her abdomen when Kasumi returned.
"Hello Doctor. How are they doing?"
"W-well Kasumi! What a coincidence that we should meet here of all places!" He stuttered giddily, as he attempted to appear casual by leaning on his one arm...
...Which was holding Shampoo's icepack above her deep bruises.
Nabiki grinned as Shampoo's eyes snapped open, the pupils shrinking rapidly in pain as she opened her mouth in a silent scream. After a few satisfying moments, Nabiki helped the good doctor lean somewhere else. Kasumi helped Akane limp out to the waiting taxi to take her to the hospital.
Shampoo took several gasping breaths, and began to look around. Slowly she tied her surroundings and injuries with the reluctant memories that gradually began to return.
Then her eyes widened again in shock and fear. "Sham-Shampoo lose?"
"That's right." Nabiki grinned.
"It appears I'm not so old as you thought." Soun growled. He wanted that girl out of his house as soon as someone would drag her. Hell, she could limp all the way to the hospital for all he cared.
Shampoo panicked, sitting up quickly (a move that brought her no little amount of pain). She quickly dug her personal copy of the Tribal Laws of the Joketsuzoku out from the same place Akane keeps her hammers, Genma keeps his signs, and Mousse keeps everything INCLUDING the kitchen sink.
...if an outsider male who is not married defeats...
It didn't say 'not previously married' or 'who has never married'. Oh gods! There had to be a loophole! She would ask her great-grandmother, the Matriarch of the tribe.
But in the meantime, she would have to consider the law relevant to her current situation.
So it was that words spoken more than a year ago within these walls that had caused such confusion before, were spoken again, resulting in the blood leaving everyone's face.
Crawling to Soun, she reluctantly embraced him. "Woda... Airen."
Acting normal for the first time all evening, Soun feinted.

***

All had gathered at the hospital. Akane and Shampoo were put in the same room. Hostility between them was no longer an issue. There was a much, much bigger problem to worry about.
"Young lady you are LESS THEN HALF MY AGE!" Soun screamed.
"Make no difference to law! Shampoo not happy about marry old fart either!" She yelled back.
"This is too weird." Akane muttered, laid up in the other bed.
"No kidding!" Nabiki said. "Do you realize she'd be our stepmother?"
"Oh father, father, father." Kasumi said in a disappointed voice.
"Not to mention," Nabiki continued, "That since Shampoo's a minor, they'd be having illegitimate sex."
"EWW!"
"Nabiki! Really!"
Soun and Shampoo stopped shouting at each other and roared at Nabiki together. "YOU SHUT UP!"
"I'm just trying to figure out if we'd have to hire lawyers to defend a statutory rape charge, that's all." Nabiki said innocently.
"You really think Shampoo would let him?" Akane asked.
Shampoo turned bright red (well, more so) looking at the floor. "S-Soun is husband. If... if husband ask... then Shampoo have to... to..." she looked ready to burst into tears.
"Now listen here!" Soun snapped. "I've remained loyal to my wife since the day I married her, and celibate for more than ten years since she passed on. I can certainly keep my pants done up until we sort out this mess!"
"Shampoo grateful." She said with heartfelt relief, bowing as best she could from her hospital bed.
"Shampoo," Akane asked. "What about Ranma?"
Shampoo took a deep breath. "After man win Amazon girl hand in combat, he usually marry right away, so woman no get two husband many time. If that happen, then most recent husband is real husband, unless old husband beat new husband in challenge for Amazon girl hand." She said.
"So Ranma has to beat Daddy?"
Shampoo nodded. "In formal challenge for Shampoo hand. Everyday fight no good enough."
"Good luck talking Ranma into that." Nabiki muttered.
"But he... and... but..." Soun stuttered.
"If he beats you, then he's stuck with Shampoo again. He's already got too many fiancées; he might just see this as a way to be rid of one. The fact that it satisfies Shampoo's Amazon honor is another plus. No one gets dishonored this way."
"Well, except for father." Kasumi mused. "My goodness, what will the neighbors think?"
Soun just sobbed.
"Well, the marital chaos aside," Dr. Tofu said, coming in. (Kasumi wondered why Nabiki led her around a curtain for a moment) "I've got good news on each of you. Akane's cast is set and she can go home in an hour, and I've scheduled Shampoo's surgery at the hospital for tonight, so she can probably go home tomorrow morning. In both your cases, you'll have to use the crutches and stay off that foot for a couple months. The casts should come off in four months for Akane and six for Shampoo."
"Why Shampoo longer?" The upset Amazon cried jealously.
"Because Mr. Tendo hits harder than you do." Dr. Tofu said dryly. That mollified her a bit.
"So, will Shampoo be moving in?" Nabiki quipped, coming out from behind the curtain with Kasumi, removing Dr. Tofu from any intelligent conversations ("Why Kasumi! What a coincidence..." yada yada yada.)
"NO!" Soun barked, at the same time Shampoo quietly said "yes". She was still heard.
"Are you insane?" Soun asked.
"You didn't do that when Ranma beat you." Akane pointed out, "er, for long."
"Ranma not own own house." Shampoo muttered. "Not app... approp... not nice to impose on other family."
"But destroying half their house was perfectly acceptable, eh?" Nabiki frowned.
"That for chasing girl-type Ranma for revenge. No care if rude to friends of enemy. Friends of husband different matter."
Nabiki was about to point out the gaping holes in that logic, but Shampoo seemed quite comfortable leaving gaping holes just about anywhere she went.
(A.N. Yes, I know that was a horrible joke. Everybody groan; get it out of your system. Good! Feel better?)
"I wonder how Ranma will feel about this when he gets back?" Kasumi pondered, remembering he and Genma would be back sometime tonight.

***

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ranma howled. "Can I be the best man? (Hee hee hee)."
"It's not that funny Ranma!" Akane shouted, sitting on her desk chair in her room, where she'd decided to tell Ranma the whole story.
"How can you say that? This is hilarious!" Ranma snickered, sitting on her bed.
"Ranma! She's going to be living in our house!"
"But not after me?"
"Well... no. She had no claim on you now."
"Sounds good."
"RANMA! This is not an acceptable situation!"
"Don't you ever wonder if you're father's getting lonely after all these years?" Ranma said seriously. "I know my mother has, but in her case she can't do a thing about it because she's technically married to that stupid furball downstairs."
Akane looked down at her lap. "I have, actually. I worry a bit that he doesn't want to remarry because of Mother's memory. Then I worry that he does and Mother doesn't matter anymore. I've kind of got mixed feelings about him remarrying, but I want him to be happy... But dammit! Shampoo is MY age! She isn't what I had in mind for a stepmother!" Akane screamed, switching from meek to upset in an eyeblink. (Ranma would tell you this was normal behavior for her, save that she hadn't hit him and claimed the whole mess was his fault).
"Ranma, this is all your fault!" (Oh well... at least he hadn't hit him yet.) "Why won't you fight my Dad and get him out of this?"
Ranma sighed, realizing that making jokes was not going to get him out of this conversation (as though it had ever once helped before!) "What do you want me to do, Akane? Do you want me to marry Shampoo?"
"Of course not!"
"Well if I fight specifically for Shampoo's hand, and no other reason, that's the same as going down on one knee and proposing. That would be the first time I was ever engaged of my own free will, which basically says that I *want* to marry that person. And if I was going to do that to any of my fiancées, it wouldn't be her."
Akane suddenly felt a heated blush cover her face. "Ranma... you, you mean you would do that for me if the situation were different?"
"No way! Who'd fight for an uncute tomboy like you? Nyah!"
*BASH*
Ranma just managed to pull his tongue back in his mouth and avoid biting it off before he was hit by her chair.
(Violent mood swing: check. All Ranma's fault: check. Thrashed into unconsciousness by blunt object: check.
(One very normal Akane/Ranma conversation. ^_^)

***

Shampoo arrived on the Tendo's doorstep the next day, making heavy use of her crutches. She probably should have been in a wheelchair, but she was far too stubborn to let other people push her around like and invalid just because she was... um... an invalid.
Her great-grandmother was at her side, a bundle of Shampoo's clothes tied to the top of her staff.
Soun looked very tired, as he addressed the old woman. "I assume by the clothes you're carrying that you haven't found a loophole in the law yet."
Cologne nodded as she handed the bundle to Kasumi. "I'm afraid not. Amazon law is a study in absolutes. It is designed to be simple in order to prevent its misuse. No criminal in our tribe ever escapes justice because she or he was not arrested properly, or because she or he has a clever advocate. There are downsides to such a system of course, and you have run straight into one of them. May I assume, Soun Tendo, that you refuse to journey to China to live among the tribe?"
Soun shook his head. "Of course. This house and dojo have been in the family for generations, and I would never leave it until Ranma and Akane marry and I see that the Tendo School is in good hands. I had not expected to leave it in any case until I was buried with my wife."
The old crone smirked. "Shampoo might have some objections to being buried alive with you, considering that she'll be less than 50 at the time."
"I meant my wife already dead! The mother of my three daughters!" Soun snapped.
"I know Soun. I was only trying to brighten a bad situation with a little humour. Given that you have already established a household here, I will not force you to relocate to China. You can be the Japanese branch of the Joketsuzoku."
"Oh joy." Nabiki muttered. "No one's allowed to marry me unless they smack me around a bit? I think I'll be the non-traditional one in the family."
"Oh shut up Nabiki, none of us are becoming Amazons!" Akane snapped.
Nabiki stuck out her tongue. "I was only trying to brighten a bad situation with a little humour."
"Anyway," Cologne continued, "I will be returning to China with Mousse. I will call a meeting of the elders and see if some sort of special dispensation cannot be granted."
"I am grateful." Soun said, bowing.
"Don't be grateful yet. I probably will not succeed. For such to be granted, all 13 of the council members must be unanimously agreed. It may take many weeks of debate before I can even attempt to get them to vote. There are some council members who are, shall we say, less than enamoured with their Matriarch, and others who are not too fond of Shampoo either. The odds of success in this venture are quite low. You should assume that I will not succeed and act accordingly."
"I... understand." Soun said slowly.
"This is indeed an unfortunate situation. Try to make the best of it." Cologne said as she hopped off.
The Tendos and Saotomes present fell into an awkward silence as they stared at the silent girl on crutches before them on the doorstep.
Shampoo for her part just stood staring at the ground, unwilling to look any of them in the eye.
Kasumi was the one who finally broke the silence. "Well then, welcome to our home... um... mother."
Shampoo's head finally snapped up. "Please no call that. Law make Shampoo husband to Soun. Law no can force be mother to children, especially children older than Shampoo."
All three Tendo daughters gave a simultaneous sigh of relief. Soun was far from relaxing yet. Ranma felt like he should say something to her, but couldn't think of anything helpful. For once he decided to watch his mouth.
"Well then, come on in Shampoo. It'll be nice to have you stay for a while. You're just in time for breakfast. Are you hungry?" Kasumi asked. Shampoo nodded gratefully and hobbled inside.
Breakfast was a little quieter than usual, but eventually Soun spoke up. "Shampoo, I'm going to arrange to have you enrolled into the high school."
She seemed a little upset at that. "Why?"
Soun looked a little awkward. "Well, no wife of mine is going to be a fool with no education. Please study hard and do your best." He wasn't sure he liked hearing those words from his own lips. It sounded as though he had already accepted the fact that the girl was his wife.
From the look on Shampoo's face, she was wondering the same thing. "Shampoo try." She muttered.
Nabiki leaned closer to Shampoo. "I don't think you're giving Daddy enough credit. If you go to school, you spend most of the day out of this house, and when you come home, you've got homework to keep you busy for a few more hours each day. If you didn't go to school, you'd have to stay home all day with him, with nothing to do but try to act like a wife. We thought perhaps we could restrict the really awkward moments to the evenings." When Nabiki would be around to enjoy them. ^_^
Shampoo brightened up. "Aiya! Is good plan!"
Nabiki grinned and sat back. "And it only cost him 1500 yen too."
"Nabiki!" Akane scowled. "Don't you think you should be making some exceptions when doing business within the family, especially at a time like this?"
"I did. Advice of this caliber is normally 3000 yen."
Akane let her head hit the table with a sigh.
"So Shampoo," Nabiki said, as though nothing had happened (nothing _unusual_ had), "what happened to the restaurant?"
"Nekohanten closed for now. Great-grandmother say property is left in Shampoo name, so when get better Shampoo can run restaurant again, if find waitresses and kitchen help." She winced. "And if husband give permission."
The gears turning in Nabiki's head were almost audible.
Soun coughed. "I still think you should go to school, but if you find people to run it during the day, that would be fine, so long as you get your schoolwork done. And of course, should you still be my wife by the time you graduate, you could work there as often as you wish."
"Shampoo thank husband for understand, but Shampoo honor bound try to be good wife. No can live at Nekohanten anymore."
The gears in Nabiki's head finally clicked to a stop. "Hmm. I bet you could use some help getting the Nekohanten off the ground again. I'd be willing to design an advertising campaign for the grand reopening. I can also offer my services as a financial manager for a modest fee."
"Shampoo not sure about modest part." The Chinese girl scowled. "Shampoo no need manager who skim off top."
"I think I'm insulted."
"Nabiki think right."
"Now is that any way to speak to your step-daughter?"
"Shampoo NOT mother!" The Amazon snapped.
"Stop it both of you!" Soun said tiredly. Both girls sat back and were quiet. One thing Soun could be grateful for: if Shampoo was technically his wife, she seemed to be settling into a more daughter-like role. Maybe they could tell the neighbors that he had simply adopted Shampoo.
"We should get going to school." Akane said.
"Shampoo already registered for today?"
"No, but we can do that pretty quickly, especially if we get there a bit early." Nabiki said.
All were at the door, waiting a bit for Shampoo and Akane, who were a bit slower on their crutches.
"Have a nice day." Kasumi said cheerfully.
Shampoo hesitated. "Shampoo follow in minute. Have something want say to Soun in private."
Ranma, Akane and Nabiki basically blinked and went out, deciding to wait outside in the street. Well, Ranma and Akane decided to wait in the street, Nabiki decided to wait with her ear against the door, much to the disgust of Ranma and Akane, who eventually decided to go ahead anyway as Akane would be moving slower than usual. Kasumi, not wanting to make what would probably be an awkward conversation more so, politely went into the kitchen to start the breakfast dishes. Genma hadn't moved from the back porch, where he was currently lounging as a panda, letting his breakfast digest pleasantly as lazy bears are wont to do.
Back in the foyer, Shampoo hobbled close to Soun and looked up at him.
"Shampoo no ask for marry man more than twice her age, man with daughters older than Shampoo..."
"I'm sorry."
"Let Shampoo finish. Could have been much worse. Shampoo maybe forced to marry man with no honor, or... ugly man." She said, turning quite red. She lifted herself higher on her crutches and gave Soun a chaste peck on the cheek, causing his face to become as red as hers. "Shampoo thank Soun not take advantage of situation. Forced to marry very good man not so bad as Shampoo fear. Shampoo try be good wife for Soun... if no can escape law."
With that said, she hobbled out the door.
Soun stood there for a long while thinking (not to mention letting his flush fade before Kasumi saw it and asked questions). Shampoo must have felt bad about what she'd said when they'd first found themselves in this situation. Some of her comments about his age had been less than subtle. It really hadn't been fair to Soun, but given their situation, he could forgive her easily. He found himself somewhat thankful that, if he HAD to be in this situation, his pseudo-wife was not exactly ugly either.
Hmm. Perhaps he should bath in _cold_ water this morning.

Outside, Nabiki tried to explain her presence by the door.
"I'll be the one helping you register, so I thought I'd wait for you."
"Next time, Nabiki wait farther from door." Shampoo snapped.
"Huh?"
Shampoo pointed one hand to the sun beyond them. "Door made of paper. Sun cast shadow. Very easy for see sneaky girl with ear to door."
Nabiki cursed. She tried to talk her way out of it. "Well, sorry, but I guess I wanted to make sure of your intentions regarding my father."
"Shampoo intend obey law and be good wife. No more than that. If work at Nekohanten most of time, help provide income for husband house. That good way for wife to spend most of day when not in school." Shampoo said, starting her hobble to school.
"Speaking of the Nekohanten-"
"Nabiki want some of Nekohanten money, work as waitress. Shampoo find nice cheongsam fit Nabiki good. Get good tips."
Nabiki imagined herself in one of those very tight and form-fitting Chinese dresses. While rather proud of her figure, she didn't feel ready to be paid money (particularly pocket change) based on how clearly her bust was outlined in a tight dress.
"I'm sure I can be of more use to you working the books."
"Shampoo very good work with books. Who you think do them before?"
Nabiki blinked. "Well, I assumed your great-grandmother did them."
"Why?"
"Well, you're sort of... um..."
Shampoo snorted. "Japanese difficult language. Shampoo speak badly. That no mean Shampoo stupid. Shampoo like to hear how smart Nabiki sound in Mandarin."
Nabiki blinked. The bitch was right. Damn it! How could she underestimate the Chinese girl based on such a superficial impression? She must be losing her edge. All right! From now on, she'd take care to consider Shampoo a clever opponent.
If she played her cards right, she could still make use of the Nekohanten, perhaps eventually gaining herself ownership. Not that she would bother actually running such a meager business as a restaurant herself (even a profitable one like this) but she could expand it and maybe even open a chain, sitting back and reaping in the fruits of other people's hard labor. THAT was more her style than actually doing menial work herself.
Of course, the first step was to get inside.
"I suppose I could stand to work a little part-time," she muttered, "for wage plus tips."
"For tips. That decent enough pay at Nekohanten. Have many generous regulars."
Damn. Nabiki had known that. She just wanted a bit more than 'decent' money, especially if she was going to subject herself to being drooled over in a tight Chinese dress. Oh well, there were still other angles to work.
"Oh, fine. I can probably help you find suitable workers though." For a nice fat finder's fee, naturally.
Shampoo thought for a minute. Nabiki had a good network through the high school, that could be much faster than standard 'help wanted' signs.
"Now that no have three full-time, live-in employees, Shampoo need more people than before. Need at least two more full-time cook, two full-time waitress, three part-time kitchen help, two or three part-time waitress. Good if cook have experience cooking ramen. Good if all waitress look good in cheongsam, but no say that to face. Need at least full-time cooks and full-time waitresses before open."
"I think I can swing that." Nabiki said easily. "Now if I find them for you, it's only fair that-"
"Shampoo add small bonus for each employee to Nabiki pay."
Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "I was thinking more along the lines of a finder's fee."
Shampoo smirked. "Finders fee have price set by Nabiki. Bonus have price set by Nabiki employer. Shampoo promise bonus be fair."
Dammit! Dammit to hell! She didn't want a _fair_ bonus. That's why she wanted to set her own fees. She tried hard to keep her frustration from her face. Shampoo's smile said she had failed.
Nabiki had one more card to play, but now was not the time. Shampoo was on her guard. If she wanted to take advantage of the reopening advertising campaign, she'd have to wait until Shampoo dropped her guard.
"Nabiki want help with advertising, Shampoo give good bonus for that too."
Nabiki's head nearly exploded.
"If Nabiki add up enough bonuses, maybe no have to pay much for uniforms. Cheongsam expensive."
*PAY* FOR HER UNIFORMS! Never had Nabiki wanted so much to cry. It must have showed.
Shampoo stopped and put a hand on her shoulder. "Shampoo decide bonus based on how well Nabiki help. Better advertising mean more customer, mean more tip for Nabiki. In Nabiki own interest to do good work for Nekohanten."
Nabiki scowled at Shampoo. "If I do quite well, I might even get a bonus large to pay for all my uniforms, with a little left over?"
Shampoo thought about that. "Do very well, probably earn two cheongsam. Any bonus money left over be very little, but surprise Shampoo, maybe be more. That all Shampoo promise."
Well, a tiny concession, and an equally tiny validation of Nabiki's negotiating skills. Her ego was bruised enough to accept even the slightest stroke right now.
"Well, I'll put some ideas together. Hey wait a minute! I don't remember you wearing a cheongsam very often, at least not while working."
Shampoo smiled. "Shampoo own restaurant now. Great-grandmother think too much eyeful to give Japanese boy who not Ranma. She old-fashioned. Shampoo think get few more customer if waitress dress in sexy dress, and cheongsam not too much look like slut. Shampoo never make girl waitress wear bunny suit. That too much. Make woman customer feel like they in strip joint."
"Well at least you know that sex sells." Nabiki said. It seemed Shampoo did know business. Apparently now that she wasn't so monomaniacally fixated on Ranma, her intellect had more time to show itself. Admittedly, outsmarting Ranma on occasion in the past had not been the best proof that the Amazon had brains. He was an easy.
"Shampoo no turn good restaurant into whorehouse!" The Chinese girl thundered.
"Er, I didn't say you would. It's just an expression."
"Explain expression right now, or Nabiki find out how fast Amazon can swing crutch!"
"Okay okay! Ah, well, your great-grandmother ran the restaurant by making the food really good, and let the word spread that the Nekohanten was a good place to go for ramen. Do you understand? People came in the door because of the ramen and nothing else."
Shampoo nodded.
"Now what you're going to do is have the waitresses look a bit sexier than they did before, so a guy who's never heard of how good the ramen is at the Nekohanten could be passing by the door and see a beautiful waitress in a tight dress. He might go inside just for a chance to talk to the girl, and of course he'll order food. Then he finds out how good it is and will come by next time just because he's hungry. However, in that case, you sold a bowl of ramen and got a new repeat customer because he was thinking about sex. That doesn't, however, mean that the customer would ever get sex from that waitress.
"So you see, the expression 'sex sells' refers to why the customer bought the product, not to what you're selling. It's like the waitresses are now part of the advertising."
"Shampoo understand. Sorry for threaten Nabiki. Japanese language have many... figurative expressions."
"It's okay. Imagine if it had been Mousse I was talking to. He'd just yell 'How dare you accuse my Shampoo of being a prostitute!' and charge past me and beat the hell out of some innocent bystander standing behind, because you _know_ he wouldn't have his glasses on."
Shampoo laughed, as they finally made it through the gates of Furinkan High.

***

About a week later, Shampoo was sitting at the living room table doing her homework, or trying.
"How Chinese girl supposed to know ancient Japanese history? Serve no purpose!"
Nabiki, in an effort to lower Shampoo's guard (NOT become friends, really), was doing hers down here as well so she could help the struggling Amazon.
"Hmm, well... Daddy is a bit of a traditionalist. It might be useful stuff to know if this relationship turns out to be permanent."
Shampoo snorted at that. "Fine. What good learn Ancient Japanese writing?"
"Can't help you there. Some mysteries are beyond the understanding of mere mortals."
Nabiki was interested to note that the aforementioned subjects were the only ones in which the Amazon girl was having any trouble. She kept up easily with Akane in all subjects (except the two stupid ones) as though she'd been there all year long. Whatever scholastic education children of the Amazon village received, it was apparently nothing to scoff at.
History was hard for her mostly because she had missed a lifetime of TV movies, school plays, and manga bits based off of actual historical events that Japanese children normally were bombarded with. The history Akane was learning was a more detailed version of stories she had already heard. For Shampoo it was all new.
The purpose behind learning ancient Japanese, or "Classics", was... Oops, sorry. Nabiki was right, there is none. It makes about as much sense as learning Latin.
Shampoo continued to pour over the book. Written Japanese was actually a little easier for her than speaking, so she only had to ask for the meaning of the occasional word. After a few more minutes of memorization, she slammed the book shut with relief.
"So, how progress on earning bonuses?"
Nabiki twitched at the reminder of how little she'd probably get for her efforts.
"Well, I've found you cooks, waitresses and two part-time kitchen help. I'm still looking for another kitchen hand and some more part-time waitresses. For the reopening, I plan to use the change in wardrobe to stir the gossip chain in Furinkan, as soon as you name the date. We'll have to do a more public publication too, of course. I've been checking prices for newspaper ads and a few poster spots. I've also got a guy who'll drive around in a van with loudspeakers, but to be honest I think that sort of thing is more annoying than anything else."
"Shampoo agree."
"Anyway, for the ads, I want a nice photo of you all dolled up nice and hot-looking. We're going to use 'Under New Management' as our catch line, with a pretty girl on the page to boot."
"Shampoo only 'pretty'?"
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Fine. An exotically beautiful, yet cultured sex-goddess that men can't look at for longer than 4 seconds without embarrassing themselves when they stand up."
Shampoo smirked. "That better."
"Not to mention, men like Daddy."
Shampoo looked a little uncomfortable. "'Pretty' ok." She mumbled.
"I thought so." Nabiki smirked. She loved seeing Shampoo squirm.
"Well, time for fit Nabiki for Cheongsam."
"W-What, now?"
Shampoo loved seeing Nabiki squirm.

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End of chapter 1

Notes (Ron Hino):

I think I finally found a good idea no one's thought of yet. Now we see if I can avoid messing it up. Actually, I just had a surge of inspiration and wanted to get in down on paper (figuratively speaking) I have no plans to continue this, unless I get a lot of positive responses and my ego forces me to come up with a plot line longer than these 12 pages.

If anyone is wondering why Shampoo seems rather submissive about the whole sex thing: "If... if husband ask... then Shampoo have to... to..." remember that even though she's from a female dominant society, for the last year and a half she's known she'd have to marry a Japanese man. Because our Ranma is such a valued commodity ^_^ she realized that to win him she might not get the dominant role in the relationship. She's been willing to behave more along the lines of a traditional Japanese housewife if that would make him happy. She felt she could be quite content with that as long as he was by her side (Ah, the ignorance of youth).
Mind you, when she thinks about it and realizes that she doesn't have to be that way around Soun (since he's not quite as worth it as Ranma), things may get a bit dicey in the Tendo household. I'm waiting to throw that in a little later.

Comments, criticisms, etc. to hinoron@hotmail.com