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Hired Help

Chapter One: Murmur

"Cut it out!" The girl shouted as she quickly hopped over he counter of the bar. Two men were shoving eachother, upheaving tables, and assualting other patrons in a drunken rage. The brunette ran in between the two men, seperating them by throwing her arms out, serving as a human blockade.

"Look, either calm down or take it outside guys." She commanded, looking from one man to the other.

"Geeed oudda my way." The ugly red haired man slurred, stumbling. The other, a blond man, made an unbalanced swipe at the red head, but the girl intercepted it.

"Hey! I told you-"

A loud crashing was heard in the direction of the bar. An old man was grabbing bottles and throwing them against the wall. The girl left the two men, and began to approach the disgruntled senior citizen, when the men began to fight again. A drunken battle cry sounded from behind her.

"That's it. She muttered dangerously to herself. The brunette turned back around and threateningly strode toward the two drunks. The red head was about to punch the blond in the head, but pulled it when he noticed the look on the girls face. The blond sneered when he saw the young beauty stalking towards them.

"Sumpthin wrong misss....?" The blond chuckled. He suddenly swallowed his laughter and his eyes went wide when the girl socked him in the gut. He crumpled to his knees, the wind knocked out of him. She turned to the red head.

"I suggest you leave. Now." She stated seriously.

For a moment, the man just gaped at her like she was crazy. Then his look of disbelief turned into a scowl.

"Hell no. I ain't 'a goin nowheres...." He stepped forward as if to shove her. Just as he extended his arms, she grabbed one and dropped to the floor. Using her right leg to trip him, she flipped him over her shoulder using his own momentum. He landed in a heap on the floor about five feet away. The girl calmly walked over the blond and kneeled over him.

"Ready to go?"

His only response was coughing and flipping her off.

"Ohhh reeeaaalyy.....?" She asked sarcastically before yanking him to his feet by his hair.

"Time to see the world buddy." She muttered while practically dragging him out the door, yelping and cursing. The poor fool was almost a foot taller than her, so he was nearly bent in half trying to follow outside without getting his scalp ripped off. He was tossed onto the sidewalk outside, into the sunny paradise of Costa Del Sol.

"Man....I'm wasted." He guffawed before lumbering off.

When the girl came back in, a few of the regulars were clapping and whistling, she blushed, and then remembered the other trouble maker. Heading towards the lump on the floor, she sharply clapped her hands together once, to get his attention.

"Up and at 'em pal. Or would you like to leave like your friend out there?"

The red haired man clumsily stood and stepped toward the door. At the second of his departure, the bar went up in pandemonium.

"You kicked their asses, Tifa!"

"That was awesome!"

"D'ya spot the look on the ugly blokes face when she flipped 'im then? It was bloody 'ilarous!

Tifa waved off the regular's compliments, and began to return behind the counter, when she noticed the destructive old man from earlier slinking out the emergency exit door.

"Sir, excuse me. Could I please have a word with you for a moment?" She asked politely.

The deranged geezer darted out the emergency exit. As soon as the door opened, a shrieking alarm went off. People got out of their seats and began pushing each other over to get out the door. It was like a herd of yelling, screaming, mad cows trampling each other to get away from a pack of coyotes.

"Calm down! It's okay! It's oka- HEY!" Tifa shouted, trying to maintain order, when a middle aged drunk man threw her over his shoulder and headed for the exit, along with everyone else. Tifa hooked a leg around the man's waist, and followed with a scissor kick to the back of his skull, knocking them both to the ground. She got up first, looked around to see where she was, and sprinted through the crowd to the 'Decease Emergency Alarm' button. Slamming both her palms on it together, the horrible noise stopped, leaving her ears buzzing a bit.

"Alright everyone," She addressed them in her best business voice, "A round of drinks for everybody who didn't already leave. On the house."

Half the patrons let up a cheer, while the other, drunk half, searched their surroundings, wondering what had just happened..

Taking her place back behind the bar, mixing drinks, and making small talk, Tifa Lockhart began to wonder. 'Is this really what I want in life?'

Author's Notes: Hi. This is your friendly author, Ice Queen. I realize that this is kinda weird, but it'll get better. Also, watch out for cameo. It won't be a secret. Can ya guess who it is? Thanks for reading, and CC if ya like. See ya later.