A/N (9/19/01): I am SOOO sorry I left you hanging so long, but I was kind of
on a block there for awhile, so I turned to my other stories. Still, this is
the one I concentrate on. Just warning you-after this, two more chapters
until the end! Sequel if demanded, and I repeat-DEMANDED. Even if it's not,
maybe when I'm not working on any other fics I'll do a sequel. Okay, start
now-

Silef: I'm telling you, Purple likes you!

DOES NOT! *sorry, this is tied to another fic...What Havoc Shall we Wreak*
I just can't get over that line! "You mooch it!" It's sooo freakishly cute!
SORRRRYYY!

Silef: Okay, start! I'm getting closer to getting Dib as MINE!

This fic was supposed to concentrate on Zim and Gaz.

Silef: Too bad! Any fic where you just LET me have Dib is a dream come true!
Start the fic and lemme at him!

Whatever...not until the last chapter.

Silef: Aww...

But you're getting closer...By the way, what's the difference between a Voot
Runner and a Voot Cruiser?

Silef: Um...I have an appointment with a beaver! BYE! *Runs*

I hate it when she does that...








The door creaked open some time later, but the eye wasn't covered by the
clear gleam of glasses. These eyes were closed. Not exactly what Silef had
wanted, but at least it was her friend.

"Siffy?"

"Please, don't call me that," Silef moaned. "You're the only one who can get
away with it without getting crushed by a bunch of iron spider legs." She
had remembered how anyone had come up with that name instead of calling her
'Silly'. It was one of those...instant flashback things.

~*~

Silef punched out the Irken next to her. "It's *SILEF*, Flobey!!!"

"I told you we should have called her Sif," Red muttered.

~*~

Silef shook herself back into reality.

Gaz pushed the door open, and let Silef inside. She looked around. So this
was a...*normal* house. In her mind, she knew she could have done better than
her dim-witted brother; but not if she had been acting like she had been
lately.

Silef's eyes wandered past a couch and onto a small table. There was a lamp;
and a strange one at that. It was in the shape of a human...an ugly one.
Sort of the...mad scientist look.

"Gaz, who is that?" she asked, pointing to it.

"That lamp looks like my dad."

Silef blushed a dark green, greatful that earthling's couldn't read minds.
"Oh." The TV was on. The words 'Mysterious Mysteries' were blazing on the
screen. Dib was in front of it, his eyes transfixed on the TV. He was too
absorbed in the show to notice that Silef had come in.

"Don't bother," Gaz said. "When he's in front of that thing, you can *forget*
about talking to him."

Suddenly, Dib leaped up. "You think I'm an idiot?" he shouted. "I knew she
was there the whole time!"

"Then why didn't you pin me against the wall, and shove her out the door?!"

"Because...because...um...I can't do...!"

Before Dib could stammer out his answer, the three of them heard the sound of
at least four garbage cans being knocked over; and the stubbornly shouted
cry of "Woohoo! Sick, dude!"

They rushed over to the window, Dib forgetting the fact that there was a very
poorly disguised alien in his house. Her hatred of hair had just driven her
to tie her antennae back into a ponytail with an earth-scrunchie. She wished
Zim had just used one of those...full-body costumes. Outside, there were four
...*kids* on skateboards. At least three of them looked like kids. The other
one looked like a dressed up balloon flailing all over the place while
deflating. The three remaining kids seemed to be having a good time knocking
over all the garbage cans on the street.

Looking to the side, they could see Zim. He had probably wised up, and
chased his sister with a squeedly-spooch instinct on where she was. He was
staring at the kids with a pure look of hatred.

Silef, Dib, and Gaz walked outside. Zim strolled over to them with Gir and
Gir2 on a leash. He handed Gir2 to Silef, and resumed his position, staring
at the kids and looking like his eyes were going to pop out...like that had
never *happened* before. (A/N (9/19/01): I have a distinct memory from Planet
Jackers... SILEF: That we don't need to be reminded of!)

Dib finally seemed to realize where he was. He gave out a short yelp, and ran
back to his TV. The rest of them, on the other hand, continued to stare.
...Who the heck were these kids? And why were their faces all...roundish?
Why were they so insolent...and ugly...and loud? Not to mention stupid.

The boy with the wild red hair stopped his skateboard, and walked over to Gaz
acting all macho.

"Hiya," he said in a scratchy sort of voice. "I'm Otto, and I'm here with my
friends and sister, Twister, Squid, and Reggie."

The two Irkens and the earth-girl looked at each other, sharing the same
thought... "Squid?!"

"What's your name?"

"Gaz." Without hesitation, she added, "and if you know what's good for you,
you'll leave this town."

"I like a girl who speaks her mind!"

Steam was literally coming out of Zim's head. He seriously looked like he was
going to blow himself all the way back to Irk. FOR IRK'S SAKE, WHO DID THIS
KID THINK HE WAS?!

Finally, and without any control, Zim leapt at Otto. He hadn't known *why* he
had been feeling so angry until he shouted those words... "STAY OFF MY
TERRITORY IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, FOOL-BOY!!!"

While everyone else was staring at him too stunned to speak, Otto just
shrugged. "You got a claim on the chick, dude? Whatever man. Later." He
turned to Gaz. "You can count on it." With that, he took off on his
skateboard, knocking over another garbage can, and sending a banana peel onto
Zim's head. More smoke out of his head, wherever it was coming from, and the
peel was sitting in a disintegrated heap on the cement.

Gaz stared at him blankly.

"Zim?"

It was at that moment that Zim realized that all of his denial had been
blown away. He looked from Silef to Gaz. Both were staring at him like he
was a slaughtering rat-man, but Silef had that sisterly glow in her eyes, and
he could even see it through the lime-green lenses.

Dib was watching from his window. Zim's shriek had actually torn him away
from the TV...not to mention the reeeally *foul* smell of burnt banana.
Would he have done the same thing if one of the weirdos had talked to Silef?
There was no sure way he could know, so he dropped it; and went back to the
TV. This was *his* half hour of being a mindless TV zombie.

Zim gave a quick glance at the kids before taking off towards his house
again, dragging Gir by the neck. He sure hoped it was hard for robots to
feel pain. He had just blown a secret he didn't even know he had! How more
twisted could you get?

"Master!" Gir piped up. "You never cleaned up the banana peel!"

"Screw it!" Zim shouted back.

"I like screwdrivers..." Gir muttered, drifting into his little world, and
letting Zim drag him through town...over fire hydrants, and...other things.

Zim didn't stop running home. There was actually a point... Zim turned a
corner, when suddenly- The Great Ice Cream Truck loomed over him.

"You-like-ice-cream," the recording drawled. "You-love-it. To-exist-is-
meaningless-without-ice-cream. You-have-no-reason-to-live-without-ice-cream."

It took Zim about 5 minutes of being hunched over, and swaying his arms like
an ape while chanting, "I love ice cream...it is ruler...we would be doomed
without ice cream..." before he broke out of the trance.

He finally reached his home base, and slammed the door behind him. He was
aborting the mission *now*. Silef could take over, and finish the job. Zim
twisted the knob next to the big green monkey picture, and turned it into a
TV screen.

"Sirs!" he shrieked. "I need to come home *now*!" He tried to calm down. "My
sister can take over the mission." His voice broke again. "Just let me come
home! Please!"

The Tallests' hadn't noticed Zim had called yet. The small Irken with the
solid green eyes had notified them of the "incoming message from Earth", but
they had been too busy arguing.

"I *told* you planet Blortch didn't need to be conquered!" Tallest Purple
shouted. "I *knew* that Invader Skoodge or whatever his name was would be
torn to shreds!" (I know he makes his way home successfully in the TV series,
but...NOT HERE!)

"Well at *least* we sent Invader Lard to planet Vort, and didn't lose *him*
instead!"

Tallest Purple stepped in front of him, shaking one of his long green
fingers. "Wrong, my friend! *Wrong*! Did it ever occur to you that on *some*
planets, mainly saying-one's full of *couches*, that dust bunnies are
actually huge monster bunnies that eat...things other than their own kind?!"

Tallest Red stepped back, and gazed at the ceiling thoughtfully. "So *that's*
what inhabits the planet... So we lost Lard, too?"

"They smothered him in *lint*, Red!" Tallest Purple shrieked. "And then they
*marinated* him in it!!!"

Zim now was pounding on the television. "My Tallest! Please do not ignore me!
Look down on me! I DO NOT CARE THE SLIGHTEST IF YOU SMOTHER ME IN LINT! Just
answer me please!!!"

The Tallest turned around, finally hearing the staticky voice. "Zim? You're
actually...alive still?"

"Yes! Help me!"

"Are you kidding?" Tallest Purple said. "We're coming down there!"

"But *why*?!" Zim cried.

"To invade the planet, duh."

"But you...why not some other planet?"

"Every other invader died!" Tallest Purple shrieked.

"THEY WHAT?" Tallest Red and Zim shrieked at the same time. "Even Stink and
Skutch?!" Zim added. A smile crossed his face. "Did T--"

"The planet inhabitants attacked them offguard!" Tallest Purple muttered. "It
was pretty easy for them to get Stink, the big ox. So, Zim, we're deciding on
your planet."

"Hold on, I never..."

"That's right Zim." He cut off Tallest Red. "We're coming to the planet you
were...um...*assigned* to, and we're going to invade it, and make everyone
our slaves! Plus, I've heard they actually make curly fries there! Ooh, Do
they have opposable thumb things?!"

"*What*?!"

"Oh, never mind. Just be ready for us." Tallest Purple killed the connection
with Tallest Red still shouting in the backround. Only this time it was about
"the joy of curly fries". Zim flung himself on the couch. The armada was
actually *coming*. Finally, BUT AT WHAT AN INCONVENIENT TIME!



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N (9/20/01): Are you people serious?! Invader Zim *can't* be canceled! I
swear, I'd fling myself at Nickelodeon Studios! Jhonen Vasquez wouldn't let
this happen! PETITION!!! AAAAHHHH!

Silef: *sniff* There was supposed to be a marathon...

Do you know how bad *I* feel? I don't know *anyone* more obsessed than me...
I tape the episodes because if I don't watch Zim *enough*, I actually go
*crazy*! You got that?! *CRAZY!*

Silef: u.u

I mean...if it *does* go off, there has to be some way we can stop it! I
know! Check my author bio and email me if you want to join my group-IRKEN!
Irked Rebels Keep Enthusiasm Necessary!!!

Silef: Yes! I am...Irked! I am...an...Irken!

Being irked has nothing to do with being an Irken.

Silef: It doesn't?

No. It means you're annoyed, or something similar. And I am ANNOYED OUT OF MY
MIND! Okay, just to let you know, this isn't just a rebellion group against
Nick, even though I *do* have a good plan to get Nick back if it does
cancel. No, it's also a fan club, despite the title! JOIN IRKEN! THE RUBBER
PANTS COMMAND YOU!

Silef: Oh, brother...

*Eyes go hypnotic* Must...go...to Bloaty's. Pig...COMMANDS ME!!! *Walks out
the door like a zombie*

Silef: Okee...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



Nevertheless, Zim had to get ready for the Armada. Even if he *was* in the
middle of a huge crisis!

A knock on the door made him jump three feet in the air. "Who is it?! GET
AWAY! THE SQUIRRELS! KEEP THEM AWAY!"

"Zim?" Silef's voice said. "Are you okay? Come on, let me in."

Zim reluctantly pushed Gir out of the way (he was filling up his fuel tank
with cheese) and opened the door. Silef was there...with Gaz. No sooner had
he opened it, he slammed the door shut.

"Oh, come *on*, Zim!"

"Not unless...SHE..."

"All right, Zim," Gaz said. "I'm going home." She started to walk off towards
her house. When she was a few yards away, Zim, satisfied, opened the door.
Silef tackled him to the floor, and Gaz rushed in seconds later with Gir2 in
her arms.

"What are you *doing*?!" Zim shrieked. "Stay away...or...or...I'LL TURN DIB
INTO A BALOGNA BOY AGAIN!"

Silef got off of her brother. "You turned Dib into balogna?"

"Yeah, and then he..."

"Got eaten by a rat!" Zim interrupted. "Now *what* are you doing? The
Armada...IS COMING!"

Silef sat Gir2 on the couch, and threw a cupcake at his head. "Really?" she
said. "I thought they wouldn't come for ages...considering..." She stopped
dead in midsentance. "Never mind."

"What?" Zim yelled. He tore himself from Silef and Gaz's grips and looked at
both of them. "Tell me!"

Silef shook her head. "No news is good news, and what you don't know won't
hurt you. Forget it. By the way, Zim...if *all* the Irkens are coming...your
little friend--"

"Don't say that name," Zim interrupted...he was just getting into a habit of
that, wasn't he? "I've been hoping she died.

(A/N *9/24/01* I know that TAK, THE HIDEOUS NEW GIRL isn't out yet...but I
couldn't resist! Don't tear me limb from limb for it! She's my computer
*wallpaper* for God sakes!)

At that point, Silef just cracked up. "Beware the barbeque sauce!" she
shrieked. Gaz joined in. By now, Zim had totally forgotten that Silef had
weasled herself off the subject.

"You!" he shouted, pointing at each of them. "Not...FUNNY!"

----------------------------------------

The Armada came about a week later. Until then, Zim and Silef had found
themselves actually being left alone by Dib, Zim had nightmares about him and
Gaz, Silef had good dreams about Dib, Dib had a really weird dream that
during Silef's autopsy he had broken into the laborotory on a rope screaming
like Tarzan, and Gaz dreamt that Otto had a very painful death.

Finally, Zim and Silef got a message from the Tallest. They had said they
had been orbiting around Earth for a few days, and looking up the best place
to land around where the two Irkens were hiding. They settled on the park.

"We'll be there on Tuesday, Zim," Tallest Red had said. "We'll be landing in
the park, during...skool. Be ready for us." Before he cut off the
transmission, Silef and Zim (over Gir and Gir2's screeching* could make out
Tallest Purple muttering, "What is...Tues-day? And...skooool?"

Silef and Zim had gone to the forest and waited for the Armada to arrive.
Finally, one huge ship came down into the forest, blasting away all the trees
around it before landing. All the Irkens started filing out, tallest to
shortest. Silef looked around for someone with a costume she could recognize.
They were all wearing full-body costumes...smart Irkens.

Finally, when about half the Irkens had gotten off, Zim found someone he
regognized. She was wearing big boots, and her uniform was cut around the
bottom; purple and striped black. She wore earrings, and had short blue hair.
Four large strands waved down the side of her face. She grinned nastilly as
she passed by Zim, turned to him, squirted barbeque sauce in his eye, and
walked off. Zim frantically swatted at his eye, while Silef grinned, and gave
Tak a thumbs up...or whatever *they* do.

The Almighty Tallest centered themselves in front of everybody. Even *they*
were wearing disguises. Very...very scary looking ones.

"First, we would like to call up our...Irken team to...um...congratulate
them," Tallest Purple said.

Silef and Zim walked up to them, and looked out at all the other Irkens. They
looked both of them up and down, and wore something of a sneer.

"Yes, yes, you helped get the Earth ready, good for you." Tallest Red pushed
them both off-stage.

"I always knew I liked Purple better," Silef muttered. Zim didn't say a word
until he screamed when he slipped on a pile of barbeque sauce.

"I'll get you..." he muttered. "I hoped I would never have to look at your
face again!" He had been talking to himself, but when he raised his head a
few inches, he saw Tak looming over him and grinning.

(A/N: *9/26/01* If Tak dies or something in her episode, that's just too bad
because I think she ROCKS! YEAH MAN!!! BOOOW TO THE BARBEQUE SAUUUUCE!!!)

One Irken from the audience called out. "Sirs, how can you be sure no one
will see us here?"

"Oh, we have our best security guards out front. Besides, we beamed a barrier
around us. The only way someone can get through is if they sneak in." Tallest
Purple laughed. "And *that* is highly unlikely."

A red-eyed Irken rushed in. His hood covered his mouth. He was one of the
security guards. "Five kids!" he breathed. "They broke right through on
these...things, screaming!"

Silef and Zim winced. They knew *just* who these kids were. But there was one
extra. Silef's heart skipped a beat.

"Zim!" Dib crashed through the bushes, his attitude totally fearful. "They're
coming!" he stammered. "They're really coming!!!"



9/27/01: Yay, it only took my eight days to finish! As soon as I broke
through the block, I knew exactly what I wanted to write! Next chapter-Earth
and Irk team up. Ooh, scary, no? Heh, not as scary as my own dream-up of
BATTLE OF THE PLANETS. Yes, I *dreamt* it. While I was sleeping. It wasn't a
daydream...ooh, creepy...

Silef: I can't wait till you send out "What Havoc shall we Wreak!"

I have the first two and a half done, but I want to finish the series first.
Believe me, people! You're gonna crack up!

Silef: And you never even give me a *shot* at Dib!

Well, duh! You can't have him! HE'S MINE!!!

Silef: You...disgrace...

Me: Oh, give it up.

~Samantha Ishida
~Silef...(gets no credit this time) n.n