Chapter 3 Disclaimer: I am Blitz. I do not own, Storm13/Sophie, Chibikat/Kat, Silver Sunshine25/Tania, or Roguex321/Korrie. They own themselves. And I don't own the X-Men. I also don't own Tania's mom, dad, brother, and grandma, or my sister, or Sophie's dad.

Summary: 5 girls, 5 X-Men switch bodies with each other. Will either group ever be the same again?

Author's Note: This started out as a silly RPG between me, Sunshine, Chibs, Storm, and Rogue. As you can see, we're all pretty messed up individuals. Nyeh heh heh. The plot is based off of the original Mutant Mayhem Switcharoo that Chibikat invented, but then got erased by some asshole - Yeah, you know who you are >:( - so I made a new one, except that everyone had to be a different X-Man. This is what came out of it:

Mutant Mayhem Switcharoo

CHAPTER 3

Five girls, each from different parts of the world (mainly Canada, though) are each transported into a different X-Man's body, while their X-Men counterparts are transported into their body. They are all unique, but they share one common motive: to crush, kill, and destroy as much as they can of the X-Men's lives! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahaha . . . a . . . a (deep breath, chokes.) Furball! Furball! Cough chough! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Let's take a looksie, shall we ;-) ?

****
SUNSHINE

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD IT!" Jean screamed at the top of her lungs. Everyone stared.

"So, you guys are telling me that we all woke up in a different X-Man's body this morning?" Jean said in disbelief.

"Yuh huh," everyone replied calmly.

"And where's Jean?" Jean asked in confusion.

Meanwhile, at Tania's house...

"Tania! Fa le sourizzi!" Tania's nonna yelled.

Tania(Jean) fainted.

"What the hell is up with that girl? She's been fainting since she woke up this morning," Tania's mom noted.

"Fase della mamada..." Tania's nonna said, narrowing her eyes.

"Maybe due to an extremely confusing ordeal in which everyone at a certain message board woke up in a different X-Man's body, Tania was turned into Jean," Tania's brother mused.

"..."

"I mean...uh...I like sports."

"That's better," Tania's mom said in relief.

"Il diavolo! Il diavolo!" Tania's nonna screamed.

Tania(Jean) woke up. Tania's nonna continued screaming about the devil. Tania(Jean) fainted.

Back at the X-Mansion...

Gambit walked back into the room. Jean(Tania) suddenly snapped into a trance and started to follow him dreamily.

"I...can't...control...myself...I'm...strangely...attracted...to...every...man...in...this...house...except Cyclops of course," Jean said in a trance.

"It must be the Jean...gene," Penance concluded.

"You can't talk."

"...." Penance concluded.

"Chibi! Run for your life! Jean is extremely attracted to Wolvie! Run! RUN I SAY!" Jean screamed, running across the kitchen.

Wolverine jumped out the window.

(Translation from dialect in village where Tania's dad and her grandparents grew up.)
Fa le sourizzi = do your chores!
Fase della mamada = the lazy little brat
Il diavolo! Il diavolo! = the devil, the devil

***
BLITZ

"WolvieKat!" Penance/Blitz called. She saw her rocking back and forth under a tree.

"Can't sleep, Jean'll eat me. Can't sleep, Jean'll eat me. Can't sleep, I'll eat Jeanie. Can't sleep, I'll eat Janey. Can't sleep- Wait a minute! I'll eat ~Sarah~! That's what her real name is. That's better."

"O_o Uh, Wolvie-Chan?"

Kat looked up. "I'm gonna eat you!" she yelled and hooked her fingers like claws.

"You know you have ~real~ claws, right?"

"Huh?" She looked down. *Snikt!* "Oh, yeah! Hey cool!"

"Yeah. Okay. So can't you just keep Jean away with those?"

"Or I could eat you."

"Yeeeeaaahhhh ... or that ... but I have a better idea." Begins to lead Wolverine back to the mansion. "You could watch Anime instead. Sailor Moon is on."

"SaIlOr MoOn-ChAn!" Wolverine took off running for the mansion, claws still out.

"GAAAH!!!!" Cyclops screamed, covering his face. Wolverine shaved half his head with her claws as she ran by.

Penance/Blitz looked around and then ran up and shaved the other side, giving him a very kewl looking mohawk! She ran inside. "Wolvie! Put your claws back in!" She finds Kat in fron of the t.v. She stabs a can of coke and starts drinking from it. "Wow. That's actually a pretty good idea." Penance stabbed another coke and sat down.

***
CHIBS

Kat sang along with the TV. "Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight" - she switched to Japanese suddenly - "hokedo kai iwashi onto shute, mizakatu aitai yo! ^_^ " She drank her Coke.

"Hey Kat, listen, I gotta plan about Jean's. . . um, heat. ^^;; You gotta come with me though."

"Why? I'm so much happier here. . ."

Penance thought for a moment. "I have a six pack of Coke and some Ranma 1/2 DVDs upstairs. . ."

Kat spat out the Coke. "Well, that's a horse of a different colour! Where's your room?!?"

"Follow me."

Wolverine bounded along. "Yippee! ^_^ Ran-chan HERE I COME!"

"WOLVERINE!" Jean(Tania) ran at Wolverine.

Wolverine popped her out her claws. "BACK OFF, GET YOUR OWN SANDWICH!"

"NO!" She hissed and showed fangs, her eyes turned yellow, and she disappeared in some conveniently passing mist.

Penance stared. " . . . well ain't that strange."

"Hai. . . what she needs is a man. That isn't me. Or Cyclops. Or Gambit - he's MINE dammit." She snapped her fingers. "I know!"

"What?"

"SABRETOOTH!"

" . . ."

"We'll invite him and the rest of his posse over for tea and crumpets! Isn't that right Eric Idle Clock?"

They both looked over at Eric Idle Clock. "Tea time!"

Wolverine looked back at Penance/Blitz. "You can't argue with Eric Idle."

"You know, normally I'd say something, but this should be fun to watch. . ."

Wolverine picked up the phone and dialed the number in the phonebook. The phone on the other end rang. "Hello, who may I ask I'm speaking to? . . . why hello Toad! Jolly good to talk to you. . . . Who the hell am I? It's Logan, y'know, Wolverine. . . . No no no, I'm not tryin' to kill ya this time, believe it or not! *nervous laughter* C'n I speak to Sabretooth? . . . whaddya mean 'only if I answer you these questions three'? . . . alright alright, shoot. *pauses* My name's Logan. *pauses* My quest is to call you. *pauses* What do you mean, an African or a European swallow? . . . well you should figure things out BEFORE you ask the question. Okay, put Sabes on. *long pause and waiting music, which is 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'*

"Dear GOD. . ." Penance said in disgust.

Kat continued. "Hiya Sabes! It's Logan. . . . yeah I wanna rip your face out too, but BEFORE we do that, would'ja like to come over to the mansion for tea? . . . no, it's not a trick. Check your Eric Idle Clock. . . . told ya, didn't I? Alright, you can bring yer gal pal Mystique over too. . . . no I'm sure it won't be weird for Kurt. I mean, she's probably ALL our mothers', the way SHE got around. . . . DON'T YOU TALK THAT WAY 'BOUT MY MOMMA FOO'! YOU DON' EVEN KNOW MY MOMMA! . . . actually, I don't either. . . we're so much alike! *sniff* Why don't we get along?? . . . oh yeah, forgot about that whole 'I killed your only and true love' thang, didn't I? I'm such a silly goose. . . . so bring everyone over in about 20 minutes. If Magneto's not busy tryin' ta take over the world or nut'in, bring him too. Toad's welcome as well. . . . why? Well, Jean's been in heat lately, and we need someone she can grope. I thought of you. . . . well no need to thank me. I KNOW you haven't gotten action since Mystique. . . . I don't know why either. Alright, see ya! *click*

Wolverine turned to face Penance. "Y'know Blitz-chan, he's a real swell guy!"

Penance sighed. " -_- "

***
STORMY

Storm(Sophie) overheared the conversation. "WE'RE DOOMED WOLVERINE HAS iinvited savbretooth say good bye mansion because once he gets here and starts trying to rip chibi apart we know troubles coming."

***
SUNSHINE

Jean was rocking back and forth outside Penance's bedroom. "Can't sleep...Wolvie will get away...can't sleep...Wolvie will get away..."

Cyclops approached. "Look Jean, I know that Wolverine has become the only man in your life that's not a complete wuss, but - "

"Don't forget Gambit."

"Well, OK...and maybe Gambit..."

"And Professor X."

"Alright, and...WHAT?! PROFESSOR X?!"

"Face it, Cyke. Jean would rather get jiggy wit Chuck than you, one-eye."

"Why are you referring to yourself in the third person?"

"..."

"Alright, Jeannie, back away from the door..."

"NO!" She suddenly looked around wildly. "No... I'm... feeling... a... rage... coming... on... what's... happening... to... me?!"

"Uh oh..."

Storm ran over. "What's going on!?"

"Ahhhhhh!" Jean turned into Dark Phoenix. Flames shot up around her.

"Quick, Storm, get the bucket of water!"

"I AM FIRE INCARNATE..."

Storm ran back with water and chucked it on the Phoenix. Dark Phoenix turned back into Jean.

"Whoa, that was a close one..." Cyke said.

"Aw, Sophie what'd you do that for? That was kinda fun..."

"THAT'S STORM! WHO'S SOPHIE?"

Jean and Storm both looked at him and said at the same time, "SHUT UP!" Storm hit him with lightning and Jean used her TK to throw him to Mexico.

"That was fun," Jean said.

"Wanna play Monopoly?"

"Can't. I hafta keep constant watch over Wolvie so that I may make out with him."

"You realize that Wolvie's actually Chibikat, right?"

"Yeah. That's the most disturbing part." Jean shuddered.

TBC . . .