Summary: 5 girls, 5 X-Men switch bodies with each other. Will either group ever be the same again?
Author's Note: This started out as a silly RPG between me, Sunshine, Chibs, Storm, and Rogue. As you can see, we're all pretty messed up individuals. Nyeh heh heh. The plot is based off of the original Mutant Mayhem Switcharoo that Chibikat invented, but then got erased by some asshole - Yeah, you know who you are >:( - so I made a new one, except that everyone had to be a different X-Man. This is what came out of it:
CHAPTER 4
Five girls, each from different parts of the world (mainly Canada, though) are each transported into a different X-Man's body, while their X-Men counterparts are transported into their body. They are all unique, but they share one common motive: to crush, kill, and destroy as much as they can of the X-Men's lives! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahaha . . . a . . . a (deep breath, chokes.) Furball! Furball! Cough chough! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Let's take a looksie, shall we ;-) ?
****
CHIBS
"He should be here soon!" Logan cried.
"Who?" Scott said, who had gotten a ride in a truck filled with chickens.
"Hmm? Oh I fergot t' tell ya. I invited Sabretooth and the rest o' the Brotherhood over for tea and crumpets."
"WHAT?!??!"
"Yeah, I knew you were gonna freak out. I know that y'all don't usually celebrate tea time 'round here, but-"
"No, I meant about Sabretooth. H-he's your SWORN ENEMY FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
"Well I had an interesting chat with him over the phone earlier today, and I decided 'hey, why not get over our differences and forget all our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!', and so I says 'yeah, that sounds swell'. An' so I called Vicky, and he's coming over. Not just for tea, but to grope and possibly do Jean 'cause she's in heat," Wolverine offerend helpfully.
"Oh, well that's really sweet that you co-WHAT?!?!?"
"What? You sure as hell ain't gettin' Jean, Gambit's too afraid to come out of his room, and I'm-"
"You're what. . .? You always had the hots for my wife."
"And I'm. . . . gay!"
"O.O"
Logan looked heartbroken. "I KNEW IT! I KNEW I'D BE MET WITH RESENTMENT! THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS TRIED TO ACT SO *sniff* TOUGH BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT YOU GUYS TO PUSH ME AWAY!" Logan started to cry.
"Oh, geeze Logan, I didn't know. . ." Scott said softly.
"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T! *sniff* " Logan snapped back. "You don't even BOTHER to ask ME! NOBODY CARES ABOUT WHAT CHIBS WANTS!"
Things were getting more and more confusing for Cyclops. "Chibs. . .?"
" . . . uh, I'm also schizophrenic."
"O-oh. . . " He started to back away slowly.
"Heh heh heh. . . " *PING!* "Oh dear! My rubarb pies are burning!" Kat ran to the oven.
***
BLITZ
"Hey, Cyke," Penance said. "How'd your hair gorw back so fast?" She had just noticed he was back to normal again.
Cyclops began to explain. "Well, first I grabbed one of the Professor's toupees, then tried to find the glue. When I couldn't find the glue, I just used a can of frosting, and I just spread it on my head - Hey you can't talk!"
Penance(B) began to cry. "You wouldn't know! You never asked me!"
"O.o"
Storm(13) comforted Penance and glared at Cyclops. "Geez, Scott. You can be such an asshole sometimes."
"What?! WHAT DID I DO?!"
Wolverine(Chibs) called from the kitchen. "HEY! WHERE'S THE FROSTING!?! MY PARTY WILL BE RUINED WITHOUT MY SPECIAL CUPCAKES!"
"Cyclops! How could you?!" Jean yelled at him.
*DING DONG!*
"Oh-no!" Wolvie yelled. "They're here! Cyclops, can you get that - No, wait. You'd probably just screw it up. Maybe not ASK THEM HOW THEY *sniff* FEEL, or something!" Crying was heard from the kitchen.
*DING DONG!*
Wolverine rushed out of the kitchen with a Pokémon apron on. It had ruffles.
Cyclops just stared with wide eyes. "Oh, dear God."
Wolverine answered the door. "Sabes! Mystique! How nice to see you! DO come in!"
Sabretooth walked in and Cyclops panicked and flipped over the back of the couch to hide. Sabretooth, smiling and holding something, came in. "I brought KEISH!"
Penance clapped her hands. "Oh, joy!"
Sabretooth screamed. "GAH! SHE CAN TALK!"
"No, I can't."
"Oh."
Toad and Magneto walked in. Toad had the legs of a Garden Spider hanging out of his mouth. He quickly swallowed it.
"YOU ATE BEFORE YOU CAME?! HOW DARE YOU! I will NOT be insulted in my own home!"
"Huh?"
"Get OUT!" Kat turned to Sabretooth. "Thank you for the keish." She brought it to the kitchen and returned without the apron.
Professor X "hovered" into the room.
"Charles!" Magneto greeted. "So good to see you again!"
"Magneto! Have you, er, gained weight?"
Magneto looked hurt, but then asked, "Gotten balder?"
"Why you little - !"
"Let's not have a replay of what happened when we were kids, Charles."
"What happened when you were kids?"
Professor X covered his face with his hands.
Magneto beamed (proudly. "I used my magnetism to push his wheelchair into wet cement and left him there."
"YOU BASTARD!" Professor X yelled at him.
"Shut-up, or by the time I'm finish with you and that wheelchair of yours you'll be peeing through a tube for days!"
"Can't we have one civil conversation?!" Mystique broke in.
"Yeah," WolvieKat said. "Let's go get some tea and crumpets and all watch Anime."
Sabretooth smiled. "I LOVE Anime!" They both hugged.
Wolverine got all teary. "You're like the little sister I never had or wanted."
"I'll be your little sister! We can have tea parties everyday! AND we can watch Anime all the time! I have a great collection of Sailor Moon!"
"Dear God, Chibs," Penance sighed, "what have you done?"
"I got a little sister, that's what!"
Penance stared. "o_O."
***
ROGUE
"Dear lord!!!"Jubes' voice skrieked from the kitchen"THERE"S NO CUS-CUS LEFT!!! WHO ATE MY CUS CUS SOME ONE WILL PAY FOR THIS!!!!"
"What the hell is Cus cus?"
"Shut up Jubilee," everyone said unanimously.
"I fell so unloved . . . "
***
STORMY
"HEY GUYS That not the ditsy weird normal jubillee!" Storm said.
"No?" Everyone looked at Storm.
"ITS KORRIE!"
Everyone burst out laughing. "NO WAY! Korrie hates Jubilee that not her!"
"Actually it is," Korrie admitted.
No one knew what to say. "o.o"
The Brotherhood looked at each other and the X-Men. "WHOS KORRIE?"
"Long story," Sophie said. "By the way mystique keep yah paws off forge while your here."
"HEY what the . . . ..how did you know i liked him?"
Storm chuckled. "I have my sources."
***
SUNSHINE
Sabretooth looked around the mansion. "Oh, Logan, I absolutely LOVE what you've done with this place!"
"Oh, I KNOW. It USED to be SOOO drab, but I think the Sailor Moon wallpaper gives it a little extra, dont you?"
Sabretooth agreed. "Oh, ABSOLUTELY!"
"It's DEEVINE!" Toad chimed in.
"YOU! YOU HAVE INSULTED ME AND ALL MY HOUSEHOLD! BEGONE!"
Toad slinked away.
Meanwhile, Jean had been talking quietly to Penance(B), who knew of Wolverine's plan. " . . . WHAT?! NO WAY! I'M NOT GOING TO FUCK SABRETOOTH, I DON'T CARE HOW HORNY JEAN IS!"
"Way to go, honey! You tell him!"
"I thought I used my telekinesis to chuck you to Mexico?"
"I came back."
"Oh." She used her TK to chuck Cyke back to Mexico and is sure to throw him into a dank, dark alleyway in Mexico*
Sabretooth had been weeping for a while at what Jean had said.
"Aw, look what you gone and done, Jeannie," Wolvie said.
"Look, Sabes, hun . . . it's not you, it's me. Let's be friends." Sabretooth began to weep even louder. "Shit. That usually works. Do you think maybe he's weeping for he has but one tongue on which to taste an entire world?"Jean asked.
"Perhaps," Storm said.
"OH MY GOD! I just had the most FABULOUS idea!" Wolverine shouted. "LET'S HAVE A SLEEPOVER! We can stay up all night, and give eachother makeovers, and in the morning, I'M MAKING PANCAKES!"
The Brotherhood began to squeal like little school girls in excitement.
TBC . . .
