Summary: 5 girls, 5 X-Men switch bodies with each other. Will either group ever be the same again?
Author's Note: This started out as a silly RPG between me, Sunshine, Chibs, Storm, and Rogue. As you can see, we're all pretty messed up individuals. Nyeh heh heh. The plot is based off of the original Mutant Mayhem Switcharoo that Chibikat invented, but then got erased by some asshole - Yeah, you know who you are >:( - so I made a new one, except that everyone had to be a different X-Man. This is what came out of it:
CHAPTER 6
Five girls, each from different parts of the world (mainly Canada, though) are each transported into a different X-Man's body, while their X-Men counterparts are transported into their body. They are all unique, but they share one common motive: to crush, kill, and destroy as much as they can of the X-Men's lives! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahaha . . . a . . . a (deep breath, chokes.) Furball! Furball! Cough chough! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Let's take a looksie, shall we ;-) ?
*******************
SUNSHINE
"I wish I were an Oscar Myer weiner," Sabes sang.
Jean grinned evilly. "That can be arranged." With a wave of her hands, she immediately changed Sabretooth into an Oscar Myer weiner.
"Wow!" Korrie/Jubilee shouted.
Sophie stared. "But how did you . . . ?"
Tania tried to explain how she was able to do this. "Turns out Jean's not a mutant at all, she's a former magician. Which explains the constant fainting when she tries to use 'mutant' powers. See, Jean's a little like Pinnochio, 'cept Jean faints when she lies."
"You're not really Jean are you?" Scott was beginning to catch on to what was happening, making him the next target for them all to annihilate. "That was WAY too long a sentence for Jean to formulate."
"Of course I'm Jean! ...Yuh oh." She fainted.
"AH HA!"
Storm frowned. "We'rent you in Mexico?"
Cyclops paused and seemed to sank lower into his sombrero.
"I'VE BECOME AN OSCAR MYER WEINER! LIFE IS SWEET AGAIN!"
***
BLITZ
Penance, Jubilee, and Wolverine stared at SabreOscarMeyerWeinerTooth. "Wha-at!?"
"Go get the ketchup," Wolvie said without taking her gaze off SabreOscarMeyerWeinerTooth.
"Way ahead of ya," Jubilee said, holding a bottle of Heinz. (The squeezee kind, not the glass.
"Now all we gotta do is find a microwave to cook him in!" Penance began setting the time on the microwave.
Jean awoke just then. "AAARGH! I AM FIRE INCARNAT!" With a flash of fire, she was the Dark Pheonix once more.
"Hey, uh, Jean - "
"DARK PHEONIX!"
"Okay, uh, Dark Pheonix? Could you cook Sabes for us?"
"Oh, yeah, sure!" But before the mission was successful, SabreOscarMeyerWeinerTooth shot off out the kitchen, ran through the hall. "Uh, mes amis?" Gambit said, walking in to the kitchen. "Was that a big hotdog trying to climb up the chimney?"
Everyone looked away. "Uhmmmm . . . "
***
CHIBS
Wolverine (C) slumped in a couch beside Jubilee (K). "Rogue-chan."
"Yeah, Shug?"
No, not you! ROGUE-CHAN!" She pointed to Jubilee (K). Korrie waved.
" . . . I'm confused. . . "
"And that's why you're southern. Goodbye." Kat turned away from Rogue.
"Oh. Okay then sugah! Ah'll just - wwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait a minute. . . THAT WAS AN INSULT!"
"Yes, it certainly was. And that was your lover just running across the field naked."
"WHERE?!??!"*runs off to find Gambit running naked*
Jubilee (K): He ain't runnin' naked anywhere, Chibs.
Wolverine (C): I know. I wish though. . . *sigh*
Jubilee (K): Well, how long do you think we'll be stuck in these bodies?
"I honestly don't know. . . but while we're here, let's make the most of it! LET'S GO TO THE DANGER ROOM!"
A strange voice called from somewhere in the ceiling (and no, it wasn't Sabretooth's). "And there was much rejoicing.
"Yaaay."
***
BLITZ
Once in the Danger Room, Penance began programming a simulation. Two minutes later, Gambit was seen frolicking nude in a patch of posies.
"YAY, AQUA!" everyone cheered.
"But wouldn't that take a long time to program?" Sophie asked.
Ya. That's the weird part. It was already ~there~."
"Really?" Jubilee asked, confused. "Then what were you programming?"
Penance smiled evilly. "This." She clicked the button and s SabreOscarMeyerWeinerTooth was seen running just ahead of Gambit, making it look like he was chasing it. The Sim Gamby was also waving his arms and trying to grab ahold of it.
Everyone was speechless. " . . . O.o . . . "
"GAAAH!" Gambit yelled, entering the danger room. "Rogue! You promised you'd never show anyone this!"
"Uhmmmm ::innocent::." Rogue turned it off, but the hotdog was still running around and tackled Remy.
"GAAH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF OF ME!"
***
CHIBS
Wolverine nudged Jubilee (K). "Hey, Korrie!"
"Yeah?"
"Is it wrong for me to get turned on by this?"
"I don't think so. . . " Jubilee thought for a moment, then came to a conclusion. "No, no it isn't," she decided.
"Yessssssss. . . hey, maybe Gambit'll end up naked!"
"REALLY???"
" . . . mebbe."
***
SUNSHINE
Jean, meanwhile, had taken off running after Gambit as he was pushing the SabreOscarMeyerWeiner off of him in a panic. Gambit looked up. "Gaaaaaaaaaah!" He began to run faster.
Storm sat back, observing from the side. "You know, you'd think that he'd be quite pleased that all these women . . . and Wolvie . . . are going nuts over him and watching him dance nude through posies.
". . . Maybe he's gay?" Wolvie offered.
Women all around the world burst into tears.
Jean. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jean sobbed.
Storm. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Jubilee. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Penance. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Actually, I'm not really a Gambit kinda girl."
"WHAT?!"
"I mean, uh . . . oh, fine. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Rogue. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
Martha Stewart. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
(Story freezes.) Wait a second, Martha Stewart??? Aight, now that's fucked up. Back to the story . . .
Everyone joined in chorus. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"SAY IT AIN'T SO, GAMBIT! SAY IT AIN'T SO!" Rogue sobbed.
"Wat de hell? It ain't so! Gambit a ladies man!"
"Hooray!!!!!!!" Everyone cheered.
Jean winked at Gambit. "Come here then you sexy little - " *CENSORED this language is inappropriate for elephants*
All the elephants were very disappointed. "Shucks!"
***
BLITZ
Penance frowned and stared at the horde of elephants in the Danger Room. "How'd the elephants get in here?"
Wolvie began doing the shifty eyes thing. "It was . . . er . . . MAGNETO! That's right! MAGNETO!"
"No," Magneto corrected him, "I'm the one that filled up all the closets with possums."
Gambit held up a big one by the tail. It hissed and gnashed its teeth.
"I call de big one Bitey!"
TBC . . .
