Disclaimer: Narnia and the Pevensies are both the inventions of Clive
Staples Lewis, and as such do not belong to me - I'm just borrowing them
for a bit. This is an additional chapter to Prince Caspian.
C H A P T E R X V I
The Kings' Council
Almost the moment the children had finished checking their pockets to find if they had forgotten anything else in Narnia, the girls' train pulled up, and they all had to say their good-byes very quickly. This left the boys with almost half an hour to wait for their own train to arrive, but very little was said between them. Aside from their usual start-of-term gloominess, all there was to talk about was Narnia, and Edmund thought he caught the station master giving them dirty looks whenever he tried to broach the subject.
In any case, it was not until much later that evening that Edmund managed to get Peter alone in one of the school's many libraries - which was quite empty at that time of year, just before everyone began studying like mad. It was one of those great gothic book rooms that one only finds in old boarding schools now - a real sort of library, with ladders on the shelves and long tables running the length of the room. I think it reminded them both of their days at Caer Paravel, and they both found it quite the most comfortable place in the world.
"Look, Peter," said Edmund, "are you sure you're all right?"
"Quite sure," answered Peter, sounding a bit surprised. "I'm dreading McMurphy's class a bit, but otherwise---"
"Hang it all, that's not what I mean!" exclaimed Edmund. "Are you sure you're all right about---" here he broke off, realizing how frightfully cruel the rest of that sentence was, but there was nothing for it, "about not ever being able to get back to Narnia." To Edmund's complete astonishment, Peter smiled.
"I told you, Ed, you'll understand it when it comes to your last time. Besides, I can't imagine that Aslan would do something without a good reason. He's right - Su and I are getting dreadfully old, and it gets harder each time to leave. Anyhow, most people don't get to go to Narnia even once in their lives, and I've been twice already."
The confidence with which Peter answered made Edmund feel almost foolish for asking, and embarrassed for questioning Aslan's will. Then he remembered how miserable Peter had looked over dinner, and he realized it was all a sham.
"Bloody hell, Peter," he said angrily, "I'm not talking to the sodding High King. Are you all right?" Just after saying this, Edmund felt perfectly beastly; Peter went very quiet, almost as though he was going to cry. He didn't, of course, because in England in those times boys learned very early never to let themselves do such a thing, unless perhaps someone was dying. Besides, regardless of how much Edmund viewed them as fading, the effects of Narnia had not yet worn off and Peter was still at least half the High King.
"I think that perhaps," Peter said finally, and if his voice was a bit shaky, we can forgive him, "it was my fault. Maybe if I'd followed Lucy at the beginning instead of leading us the wrong way down the gorge, he'd have let me come back. I doubted him; I doubted her. You were right to side with her from the beginning, Ed - I don't know what I was thinking. No, I do know what I was thinking - I thought that I knew best, and that's why I'm too old to go back."
"Hang it all," said Edmund, "you can't really believe that" -- but of course, he could see that Peter did. "Look," he tried again, "I've mucked up much worse than you and come back. I sided with the White Witch and got Aslan killed, remember?"
"Not your finest hour," said Peter diplomatically, and Edmund could tell that he was trying not to smile.
"I'm the least noble of the four of us, and I sometimes think that the only reason I'm kept around is to watch your back - which you continually insist upon endangering by being overly honorable."
"Ed, you're a brick," said Peter, and this time he really did smile. He seemed truly relaxed for the first time since they'd left Narnia. "You're right - I've been perfectly ridiculous about this whole thing. Forgive me." At this point, he caught Edmund in a tight embrace - which wasn't at all girlish, because kings were allowed to do this sort of thing, even in those days. Afterward, each boy went back to his own dormitory and felt considerably more comfortable with the situation.
It is a great pity that no-one was able to do this service for Susan, although we will never know whether that was Lucy's fault or her own. In any case, she soon began to distance herself from her siblings, and I think that just before she left for America, she had almost begun to hate them for their closeness. As for the story of her own redemption, that is told in an entirely different book.
C H A P T E R X V I
The Kings' Council
Almost the moment the children had finished checking their pockets to find if they had forgotten anything else in Narnia, the girls' train pulled up, and they all had to say their good-byes very quickly. This left the boys with almost half an hour to wait for their own train to arrive, but very little was said between them. Aside from their usual start-of-term gloominess, all there was to talk about was Narnia, and Edmund thought he caught the station master giving them dirty looks whenever he tried to broach the subject.
In any case, it was not until much later that evening that Edmund managed to get Peter alone in one of the school's many libraries - which was quite empty at that time of year, just before everyone began studying like mad. It was one of those great gothic book rooms that one only finds in old boarding schools now - a real sort of library, with ladders on the shelves and long tables running the length of the room. I think it reminded them both of their days at Caer Paravel, and they both found it quite the most comfortable place in the world.
"Look, Peter," said Edmund, "are you sure you're all right?"
"Quite sure," answered Peter, sounding a bit surprised. "I'm dreading McMurphy's class a bit, but otherwise---"
"Hang it all, that's not what I mean!" exclaimed Edmund. "Are you sure you're all right about---" here he broke off, realizing how frightfully cruel the rest of that sentence was, but there was nothing for it, "about not ever being able to get back to Narnia." To Edmund's complete astonishment, Peter smiled.
"I told you, Ed, you'll understand it when it comes to your last time. Besides, I can't imagine that Aslan would do something without a good reason. He's right - Su and I are getting dreadfully old, and it gets harder each time to leave. Anyhow, most people don't get to go to Narnia even once in their lives, and I've been twice already."
The confidence with which Peter answered made Edmund feel almost foolish for asking, and embarrassed for questioning Aslan's will. Then he remembered how miserable Peter had looked over dinner, and he realized it was all a sham.
"Bloody hell, Peter," he said angrily, "I'm not talking to the sodding High King. Are you all right?" Just after saying this, Edmund felt perfectly beastly; Peter went very quiet, almost as though he was going to cry. He didn't, of course, because in England in those times boys learned very early never to let themselves do such a thing, unless perhaps someone was dying. Besides, regardless of how much Edmund viewed them as fading, the effects of Narnia had not yet worn off and Peter was still at least half the High King.
"I think that perhaps," Peter said finally, and if his voice was a bit shaky, we can forgive him, "it was my fault. Maybe if I'd followed Lucy at the beginning instead of leading us the wrong way down the gorge, he'd have let me come back. I doubted him; I doubted her. You were right to side with her from the beginning, Ed - I don't know what I was thinking. No, I do know what I was thinking - I thought that I knew best, and that's why I'm too old to go back."
"Hang it all," said Edmund, "you can't really believe that" -- but of course, he could see that Peter did. "Look," he tried again, "I've mucked up much worse than you and come back. I sided with the White Witch and got Aslan killed, remember?"
"Not your finest hour," said Peter diplomatically, and Edmund could tell that he was trying not to smile.
"I'm the least noble of the four of us, and I sometimes think that the only reason I'm kept around is to watch your back - which you continually insist upon endangering by being overly honorable."
"Ed, you're a brick," said Peter, and this time he really did smile. He seemed truly relaxed for the first time since they'd left Narnia. "You're right - I've been perfectly ridiculous about this whole thing. Forgive me." At this point, he caught Edmund in a tight embrace - which wasn't at all girlish, because kings were allowed to do this sort of thing, even in those days. Afterward, each boy went back to his own dormitory and felt considerably more comfortable with the situation.
It is a great pity that no-one was able to do this service for Susan, although we will never know whether that was Lucy's fault or her own. In any case, she soon began to distance herself from her siblings, and I think that just before she left for America, she had almost begun to hate them for their closeness. As for the story of her own redemption, that is told in an entirely different book.
