CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER THREE: GOOD FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND

Jacen Solo pushed around the food on the plate in front of him, trying to think of a way to say what was on his mind without offending the beautiful Dathomirian warrior in front of him.

Gathering his courage, he said, "are you sure you're up to it? I'm not saying you couldn't handle it," he added quickly, "but I could easily get someone else to go with me."

Tenal Ka looked up from her lunch and regarded Jacen curiously. "Why would I not feel up to going to Rygelia with you?"

"Well, I just thought – I mean you've been tired lately –"

"That was two weeks ago," she corrected him.

"Right. But it's probably going to be a pointless mission anyways,"

"Every mission that Master Skywalker sends us on has a purpose, and this one is no different." She gave him a stern look. "You would not be trying to talk me out of going with you, would you?"

"Me?" Jacen said in an innocent voice, "never,"

"Yes, you are. Why else would you be acting so nervous?"

Jacen should have known he would never get away with it. "I just thought –"

"That you would be protecting me by making me stay here?" She finished for him.

Uh oh. He should have just kept his mouth shut. "Not exactly,"

"You are a terrible liar, Jacen," she said, an amused look crossing her features.

"Maybe I am. I just want to make sure you feel up to heading to a planet that could be full of Yuuzhan Vong." He did not bother adding that he was trying to get her to stay behind because he was worried about her disease flaring up while they were there. It was not as if she had had any serious episodes since she had told him she was diagnosed with Sinapsisden, a rare and incurable Dathomirian disease. She just had a few tired spells here and there. The doctors had said it was very possible she could lead a normal life without the disease taking full effect until later on down the road.

He had promised her that he would not become obsessed with her health, and so far he had done a pretty good job of not being the 'worrywart boyfriend'. That did not stop him from worrying about her altogether though - he couldn't help it. He was afraid that even if she were not in good health she would try and hide it from him.

"I appreciate your concern, but I am fine. I cannot sit around here anymore doing nothing when there is a galactic war going on out there,"

Jacen knew exactly how she felt because his own restlessness had started to kick in days ago. They had been stuck planet side for weeks now. While most of the older Jedi Knights went out on their own missions to help aid the New Republic, Jacen, along with some of the younger knights, had been given the task of staying on Yavin Four to protect the Academy and its students incase the Yuuzhan Vong found it. But there was only so much sitting around and twiddling his thumbs he could take. He knew protecting the academy was extremely important, and maybe even vital to the survival of the New Republic, but he could not help but feel useless by not being in the thick of the action like he usually was.

"You're right. It will feel good to be back out there doing something, instead of being cooped up here any longer,"

"Why? Where are we going?" Jaina said, sliding her own lunch tray onto the table and taking a seat across from her brother.

Jacen swallowed. Oh boy. "Uh, Tenal Ka and I are going to Rygelia to investigate the rumors that the Vong are using it as a place to keep their slaves until they give them a specific job on a specific planet. I'm sure it's just a rumor. I don't think Rygelia would hide slaves for an alien race that is trying to take over our galaxy."

Trying, but failing to keep her voice from rising, Jaina said, "and it's just the two of you going?"

Jacen and Tenal Ka exchanged quick glances. "Well, yeah,"

"When do you leave?"

Jacen looked down at his plate of food. "Tomorrow morning," he mumbled.

"Tomorrow morning?" Jaina exploded. "When exactly were you planning to tell me this?"

"We were going to find you later this morning," said Tenal Ka.

Jaina shook her head in disbelief. "I guess Uncle Luke doesn't think I can handle a mission like this,"

"That is not true, friend Jaina."

"Sure it is," she glared across the table at her brother, "isn't it Jacen?"

"He's just concerned about you, that's all,"

"You mean he thinks I'm depressed," she said simply.

Jacen ran a hand through his thick hair. He knew where this conversation was going, and it was bound to start another fight between them.

When Jacen didn't answer her, she took that as confirmation of her statement. "You think I'm depressed too,"

"I never said that,"

"You didn't have to,"

"Well, maybe if you didn't spend so much time by yourself, people wouldn't think that." Big mistake. He should not have said that, because it just served to anger Jaina even more.

"I don't care what everyone else thinks, you should know that. But I guess you, my all-knowing brother, think you know me better then I know myself,"

Jacen turned to Tenal Ka for support, but all she did was give him a look that said she was staying out of this. This was between him and Jaina.

Turning back to his sister, he said, "this tough act of yours may fool everyone else, but not me. Underneath that façade of yours, your hurt and angry, and I hate that Zekk did this to you –"

Jaina rolled her eyes. "I really don't want to hear this," she said, getting up from her seat and picking up her tray of food.

"Where are you going?"

"You said I'm depressed, right? So I might as well act the part," and without another word to either one of them, she walked away and found an empty table on the other side of the room.

Jacen blew out a frustrated breath of air. He had not wanted that to happen. Why did she have to fight him every time he tried to help her?"

"Zekk's leaving has been hard on her," spoke up Tenal Ka.

"I know that," said Jacen, "but why can't she admit that?"

"She will when she is ready," Tenal Ka assured him, "but forcing her to talk about it will only make matters worse between the two of you,"

He pushed his plate away from him, having lost all appetite. "I can't just sit here and do nothing. She's my sister, and I hate seeing her in this much pain,"

"You are not doing nothing," she said, reaching across the table for his hand. "You are her brother and she knows that you are here for her if she needs you. You cannot do more than that unless Jaina wishes you to."

Tenal Ka was absolutely right, and that's what made him feel even more useless.

Moonlight guiding her, Tahiri made her way to the lake where many of the Jedi trainees enjoyed going swimming. There was no out there now of course, since it was so late. That is, no one except the person who had been avoiding her and everyone else all day.

Anakin was sitting on a rock overlooking the water, a solemn expression on his face. He had been out there sitting alone for hours now. Tahiri had tried to respect his privacy by giving him some space, but there was only so long she could remain quiet, especially now that she knew what was going on with him.

Without slowing down, she walked over to him and sat down on the boulder beside him. He didn't look over at her or acknowledge her presence, but simply kept his gaze fixated on the water. It was awhile before either one spoke, but as was typical of their friendship it was Tahiri who broke the silence first.

"Jaina told me what happened," she said quietly, "I'm sorry,"

"Don't be," Anakin told her as he picked up a stone and threw it into the lake, "you didn't kill your father's best friend,"

"Hey," she said, her voice dripping with conviction, that Anakin had no choice but to look at her, "neither did you,"

He frowned at her. "You're just like everyone else, you can't tell me the truth."

"If anyone is honest with you, it's me. You should know that by now,"

"I guess," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I thought you were over blaming yourself for Chewie's death. What's making you plot that old course again?"

Anakin stared at her incredulously. "I thought you said Jaina told you what happened,"

Tahiri nodded. "She did, but your dad didn't mean what he said. People say a lot of stuff they don't mean when they're upset,"

"Not my dad,"

"Do you want to tell me yourself what happened?" She said gently.

Maybe she would go away if he told her, and that's what made up his mind for him. "I was working on my dad's ship and I decided to ignore what my dad told me and did the repairs my way. It would have worked too, except the Falcon isn't like any ordinary ship. She's been cobbled together with so many spare parts and has been rewired about a million times, that it couldn't handle my modifications," he did not go into any of the technical details because he knew she would not have understand a word of it. "My dad started screaming that I should have listened to him, and I made the mistake of telling him my way was better. He said the Falcon was his ship and that I do what he tells me to do. Chewbacca had never disregarded what he told him to do. He said that none of this would have happened if he had been there," Anakin swallowed hard, "and then he said Chewbacca wasn't there because I had left him behind."

"He didn't mean it," she said, attempting to comfort him, "he's still grieving over losing him and you were there so he took his grief out on you,"

"I wish I could believe that,"

"Believe it," she said, touching his arm and sending waves of strength and sympathy his way.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he apologized in a low voice.

"It's okay. I just wish you had told me what was going on then.

"I didn't want to talk about it then,"

The truth was he had not even really wanted to talk about now, but Tahiri had a way of making him talk. No one else would have managed to drag that many words out of him at once. When he looked up, he noticed she was staring at him.

"What?"

"Are you going to sit here all night feeling sorry for yourself, or are you going to come back with me? I bet you haven't eaten anything all day, have you?"

"No, I haven't," actually, he had not had anything to eat since that morning, and the mention of food sent his stomach growling, despite his sour mood.

"Well, I'm sure we could scrounge something up. It'll be like when we were younger and we use to raid the kitchen after all the other trainees had gone to bed," she said, her green eyes twinkling at the memory.

"You mean when you use to raid the kitchen," he softly corrected her, "I just came along to make sure we didn't get caught,"

"Oh come on," she said, shoving him playfully, "are you going to tell me that you never enjoyed eating all those desserts that were supposed to be for the teachers?"

He failed to hold back a smile. "No,"

She grinned. "That's what I thought. Now lets get going," she grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet. "All this talk about food is making me hungry,"

He would not say it out loud but she had managed to make him feel marginally better. Though he suspected she already knew this. Tahiri rarely set her mind to something and did not accomplish it. That was on of the things he admired about her – in a strictly platonic way of course.

He had to admit she had done a lot of growing up from the chatterbox nine-year-old kid he use to know. Yes, she still refused to wear shoes unless it was absolutely necessary, and she still talked enough for the both of them, so it was more the physical changes he had noticed. Things like how she had grown her wavy, golden hair to just below her shoulders and was now up to just below his chin in height. There was another change too, that had all of the sudden snuck up on him one day. When he looked at her, he still saw the same barefoot and wide eyed, dirty girl who had wandered into the grand audience chamber years ago and soon after became his best friend – but there was more. He had always thought she was not bad to look at, but in recent months it had become more then that. He could not help himself from noticing what a beautiful woman she was turning into. It was kind of weird for him, she was his best friend after all, but it was as if he were looking at her through a different set of eyes. He hadn't said anything to her, for fear of making things awkward, and partially because he was unsure of what her reaction would be. It was best to keep things the way there and not complicate their relationship.

As he let Tahiri lead him back to the academy, chattering excitedly about one thing or another, he wondered briefly to himself what he had done to deserve a friend like her.