Time was not some fancy,
intergalatic way to keep track of what happened when, Jim decided. Time was
rather a vulture, slowly killing anyone who was foolish enough to think that
they could make it across the arid desert they called life. As long as you were
walking, the vultures only circled, but as soon as you fell, even a little,
they swooped down for the kill. It was menacing, and had no conscience that
made it realize what a terror it was. It killed without mercy, especially
seeking out the weak.
These were Jim's thoughts as he sat
near his Aniki's bedside. Intermingled with thoughts of helplessness, guilt,
and anger, it was the only thought that broke the horrid cycle of self-impossed
admonishment and barely kept him from falling into the well of depression he
was slowly digging for himself. That well was built by the knowledge that there
was no way that Jim would be able to bring Gene to a hospital, and he was
forced to watch as his mentor slid farther and farther away. As soon as Gene's
name showed up on the medical net the people who were out to eliminate him, if
there were any left, would pounce on the opportunity.
Melfina had been crushed ever since
she had realized that there was no way that she could help. When Gene had been
poisoned, all she had to do was purify his system. It was like deleting a virus
from a highly compex computer. The difference now was that whole chunks of the
computer's main programing were missing, and she couldn't create new algorithms
to save his life. She spent hours just sitting next to Gene and whispering
"You promised we would always be together. You said that you wouldn't leave
me. You promised, you promised, you promised...." When she wasn't doing
that she walked around the ship doing what she normally did, but the quiet
energy that she usually put in her tasks was gone. She would try to put on a
brave front to the rest of the crew, but she was so empathic that everyone
could tell it was just a facade.
Aisha was trying her hardest to keep
everyone's spirits up, but even with her seemingly unending reserves of energy
and bad jokes to which no one laughed, there was little she could do.
Fruitlessly she attempted to stir up conversations at the few times when
everyone ate, but she was met with stubborn silence. At one time, she got so
exasperated she exploded, and it just happened to be to Jim.
"What's wrong with you?! I feel
like I'm talking to the bulkheads! Can't you at least try to talk? It will make
you feel better, I swear! I'm just trying to help!"
"Sorry, Aisha, I just don't
feel much like talking. I've got to go see if maybe..." was Jim's only
response as he left Aisha, and she was left was in the uneasy feeling that if
something didn't happen soon the ship would be nothing more than a grave of
broken souls. She had to keep everyone's spirits up or the worst really would
happen, and she couldn't allow that. With a determined look on her face she set
off again.
While Aisha didn't spend much time
at Gene's bedside, she figured that her time would be better spent finding a
solution, Suzuka spent a surprising amount of time there. It wasn't like
Melfina with her crying, but more like a vigil. She usually stood with her
bokken thrust outward, as if trying to fend off the grim-reaper himself. For
all the rest of the crew knew, she was. She entered the makeshift sickbay
silently, and left it the same way, but it was still evident that she was
hurting deeply inside. How much, none of them knew. The only thing that Gilliam
barely picked up on one time was
"I won't let my family die
again...."
The girls were trying every thing
that they could, but with their limited cash reserves and the danger that could
be lurking around ever corner on this backward planet, there wasn't much that
they could do. Unknown to Jim, the girls had also realize the effect that
Gene's impending death was having on Jim. They worried that they were going to
end up loosing two of the most important people to them, not just one. It
didn't take anything more than a glance to see the dark circles and slumped
shoulders that Jim displayed. Melfina had to thrust food in front of his face
and Aisha practically had to force feed him. It was as if he had lost the will
to live. He was constantly at his Aniki's side, and barely registered when
others entered the room. He seemed totally severed from reality.
Not only that, Melfina had pointed
out when the three girls had a conference about what was happening to the
youngest member of their crew, but his expression was always so distant. Even
when he was looking at one of them he seemed to be in another world. If one of
them looked into his eyes, all they could see was a crushed spirit. As much as
any of them had become close to Gene, their relationships were as pale as Jim's
complexion when compared to the bond that the two men had.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Aisha was on the bridge when the
call came in. At first she didn't notice it, as she had been running impossible
scenarios of saving Gene through her head over and over again, trying to find
maybe something that she had missed. As much as people accused her of being
insensitive, she really did care. She just liked to show it a different way.
When she finally did notice the
blinking symbol that meant that an incoming message was waiting to be read, she
groaned at the interruption in her thought process and considered banging the
control panel just to get it to be quiet. That was when she noticed that the
transmission was for Jim.
"Now, now, just what do we have
here?" she asked curiouslyof no one in particular, since no one else was
there. "A transmission from Fred Luo, to...Gene?" Obviously he hadn't
heard. Making a decision quickly, she jumped out of the seat and spun around to
the door. She was bolting out of the door when she caught a glimpse of Suzuka
in her peripheral vision.
"Hey Suzu! I've got to find Jim
real quick! Keep an eye on the bridge would ya?" Not waiting for an
answer, just assuming that no one would not comply to the requests of a Ctarl
Ctarl, she was out of sight in the blink of an eye.
Sighing, but conceding that she had
nothing better to do, Suzuka strolled into the room. She cocked her head when
she saw the blinking light and went over to see exactly what the transmission
was. When she realized what it was she frowned. "Now just what is that
Ctarl Ctarl up to? If she's actually going to give this message to Gene
somehow...." Suzuka shook her head. That sounded just like something that
emotional, spastic cat-girl would do. Walking much quicker than she had
entering the room, she went directly to Gene's room.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The scene that greeted her there
made her blink at the total oppositeness of what she had expected. Not only was
the whole crew there, but Melfina and Aisha were actually smiling. Smiling! She
hadn't seen that expression on any of the crew in so long that she had
forgotten what it had looked like. On the view screen that lay on the table
next to Gene's immobile form on the bed, Luo's eyes were in happy little
creases. Suzuka walked in just soon enough to hear Jim's exhausted voice muster
some semblance of energy when he said,
"Thanks Fred. I don't know what
we would do without you. I'll pick up that thing right now, and then we'll be
on our way. I'm really sorry I forgot about it, but...you know...."
"Oh Jim, don't worry! I don't
want Gene to die anymore than you do! You just deliver my package and I'll fix
everything! See you in Santa Verde!" The screen closed silently and Jim
turned to the rest of the group that had been standing behind him.
"I've got to go and pick up
that package, but I'll be right back. We have to grab this opportunity while we
can."
"I'm sorry, but would you
kindly explain to me just where you are going and what that call was
about?" Suzuka couldn't stand being left in the dark about things. If she
was going to keep tabs on them to make sure they didn't get in any trouble, she
had to know what was going on. That, and she hated to have secrets kept from
her.
Jim turned to face her directly from
his vantage point directly to the right of Gene's bed, and it startled her to
see a flick of light in his eyes. He had yet to smile in relief as the other
two girls were, but he at least had a spark of life in him. It was something
that had been seriously lacking, much to the girls chagrin, ever since this
thing started. "Fred just called and said that in exchange for getting
some cargo to Santa Verde, like we were going to anyway, he would make sure
that Gene got the best medical care possible. He said he had some connections,
and he would be able to arrange everything if we could bring that device to the
capital punishment section of the government. We have a chance to save Gene
now." Jim's gaze slid to his silent partner and he grabbed his hand
tightly. Gene wasn't going to die now. He couldn't, now that there was a way to
save him. Gene, I swear, if you die I
will hate you forever. You got that? You can't leave me, I depend on you too
much. I don't care what I have to do, but you will live. You won't go without a
fight because I'm going to fight for you. Count on it.
"Capital punishment? Are you
sure that it's a good idea to be carrying deadly things on our ship? No offense
to you Jimmy, but even though you can pilot the Outlaw Star you're not as good
as Gene. Not that he didn't almost get us killed a couple of times, but I don't
want to be blown up." Aisha put forward bluntly.
"Don't worry, it's not a bomb,
or dangerous chemical or anything. I got the specs on it, and what it does is
take the life force from someone. It was going to be used for medicinal
purposes, but they brass of the medical world decided that it was too
dangerous. The possibility that the machine would take too much life energy
from one person and put in the other, basically killing one person to save
another, was too high. The penitential division automatically saw this as a way
to painlessly kill convicts on death row, so they've jumped on it. We need to
give them the prototype, and then get Gene the medical attention he
needs." Finally, as if everything that had been going on around him had
finally registered in his brain, Jim allowed himself the tinniest of smiles.
The girls, who had seen nothing but a shadow of their 'little brother' in the
past week couldn't begin to explain what a welcome sight it was. It lifted a
burden off of all of their hearts, whether they would admit that they were
worried or not.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm sure that with such a fine
ship you won't have any problems. I can see why they got you all to truck this
thing over to Santa Verde. Fast, and a grapler ship. Doesn't get much better
than that. Still don't believe that you're the captain though, no
offense." The contact gave Jim a searching look again. At first he
wouldn't hand over the Outlaw Star's cargo, not trusting that an 11 year old
could handle the job. After he met Aisha though, and knew what would happen if
someone was to dissagree with a Ctarl Ctarl: it was hazardous to one's health,
and saw the ship, he was quick to change his mind.
"None taken." Jim still
looked as if he was part of the walking dead, and in his conditionhe was close
enough that it would be hard to tell the difference, but he was smart enough to
put on a business like front for the man in front of him. "We'll get your
cargo there, no problem." Aisha, who was beside Jim, was bouncing on her
toes. The girls had made a pact that Jim would go no where without one of them
with him. They didn't want him to do anything stupid, but in his current
condition, they couldn't trust his better judgment.
"Let's go already! We're
wasting time!" she urged. To emphasize her point she gripped Jim's
shoulder and began to drag him back to the ship. As much as she wanted to get
underway, she also began to slow as they both actually began their trip back to
the ship. This was the longest amount of time, almost 2 and a half hours, that
Jim had been away from Gene. Aisha admitted that she found the uptight, nagging
Jim that worried about everything under the sun because he cared about each and
every one of the crew, a bit on the annoying side, but she would pay any cost
to hear Jim complain about Gene's extravagant lifestyle right now.
"Come on Aisha, I have to check
on Gene." Jim quickened his pace as they passed every block. Aisha sighed,
and knew that nothing less then Gene's full recovery would make Jim be well
again too. No amount of her shenanigans or one liner jokes. She just hoped that
Jim would never give up hope and do something drastic. It had been hard for her
to imagine when Suzuka had brought it up at their meeting, but glancing over at
Jim again, seeing the defeat that had returned to his eyes, Aisha understood
why they had to take precautions.
Oh well, it was Melfina's job to
watch Jim next. It's not like she would have to do much work keeping track of
him. As soon as they were ready they would lift off, she knew he would engage
the auto-pilot and then Jim would go back to where he always did. Gene's room.
Aisha just hoped they would be able to get him to eat today.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After Jim and Aisha got back to the
ship things proceeded so closely to what Aisha had predicted that she began to
think that among the rest of her amazing powers, she was also becoming psychic.
As soon as Jim went through the hatch he immediately bolted for Gene's room.
After a brief check up on his best friend he made his way to the control room
where he, with the help of Melfina, launched the ship. It's wasn't as smooth as
maybe Gene would have done it, but he got the job done. When they had exited
the atmosphere and Melfina had computed and laid in a course for Santa Verde,
Jim put the ship on auto-pilot and left the bridge. Melfina left her chamber
and proceeded to follow him.
Melfina couldn't help but frown when
she found herself outside Gene's room. Going here every waking moment and even
some sleeping ones, she had found Jim sprawled out on the floor beside Gene's
bed atleast twice, was killing Jim. She just wished that there was something
she could do. The slight spark of hope, that she now thought that she might
have imagined, she saw when Fred called seemed to have dissipated, and he
didn't even seem to register that she was in the room with him.
"Jim, you haven't eaten all
day. I made some salad and sandwiches for lunch, and there's some left over.
Why don't you go and have some? I'll look after Gene for you." Melfina was
worried that Jim would suddenly pass out from lack of nourishment, and that
wouldn't help anyone. Unfortunately, Jim didn't even seem to notice that she'd
made the suggestion.
"Please Jim, I'm really worried
about you. We all are. Please at least answer me!" Melfina tried to break
through the triple-reinforced concrete walls that she could see behind Jim's
eyes. For his own part, Jim's gaze didn't waver for a minute as he replied,
"No."
"Jim, you're not doing any good
killing yourself. How do you think we're going to get on if you keep on doing
this?" In a desperate attempt to get anything out of the desolate young
boy besides monosyllable answers she added, "What would Gene say?"
That certainly got a reaction. Jim
spun on her, his body tense with anger, but the utter indifference in radiated
from his soul through his eyes didn't change. "Gene is dying and you
expect me to just drop everything and go eat!? Gene needs me, and I'm not going
to leave him! This is all my fault! I knew something bad was going to happen,
but did I do anything about it? No! I just let the person that means the most
to me in the whole universe down. I would do anything to switch places with
him. This is all my fault."
Aghast, Melfina had no idea what to
say. It seemed totally illogical for Jim to feel the way he did. Guilt or no,
he was purposefully doing this to himself, and she couldn't understand for the
life of her why. "No, Jim, it's not that way at all. It's not your fault."
"Yes it is. Don't try to tell
me otherwise. I know the truth."
"No one blames you!"
"Well I do."
There was no reasoning with the boy.
Melfina's heart didn't want to leave one of her only friends in such a desolate
condition, but she couldn't think of anything that would cheer him up.
"You shouldn't," was her weak rejoiner.
Knowing that he had won, whether for
good or ill, Jim didn't answer. He didn't need to. He knew that he was right,
and that if Gene died, Jim would too. Maybe not physically, but in every other
way that was important, and that was worse. There was no stopping it, and he
half-way embraced the idea. Then he would know that it wasn't just Gene
suffering.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was an hour after that argument
when it happened. Jim had fallen asleep out of pure exhaustion again, leaning
halfway on Gene's bed and halfway sliding out the chair that he seemed to be
permanently rooted to. That's when the alarm went off. Jerking up as if he had
been shot, Jim looked blearily around, trying to place the sound. When he
happened to glance at the monitors that displayed Gene's condition, and had
until that point stayed steadily in their lower range, he gasped in horror.
It wasn't much, but it was a
noticeable drop in Gene's vital functions. Staring in disbelief at what he saw,
Jim suddenly felt a surge of anger.
"You can't leave Gene! You're
stronger than this! We're going to find a way to save you! You can't leave me
like this!" Pounding his small fists on the side of the bed, Jim let out
of the pent up anger, frustration and sadness that he had kept so well
controlled, he thought, in his heart. "I need you! The girls need you!
Gene why couldn't it have been me and not you? Why!?"
There was nothing that anyone could
do to help, and Jim once again had the foreboding feeling that Gene wouldn't
make it until they arrived at Santa Verde. How
could I have let this happen? Why can't I just die instead? I would gladly do
it, but...I don't know how I could.... Jim's eyes widened as a half formed
plan flowered in his mind. No matter the cost it was worth it. He had said that
he would gladly sacrifice his life for that of his partner's, and now was his
chance to prove it. This is the last
thing I have to fight with Aniki. Please take it and fight like an Outlaw
should. I tried to be strong, but I'm just not as good as you, you never let me
down. I'm sorry....
****Bum, bum,
bum. Cue the ominous music. So what's going to happen? Do I know? Not really.
Oh well, it'll be a surprise to everyone (including me). Oh, and before I
forget, I don't own Outlaw Star, I just like to torture it's characters.
Hmm...ok, I think I have problems... (no duh!) Thanks for reading, and please
review!!! Thanks in advance! Oh, and please annoy me until I get the next part
out. You know how long it took me to get out this part! I'm sanctioning you to
get on my nerves, take advantage of it! Ja!
Dedicated to
everyone affected by what happened on the 11th. My prayers are with you, and so
are the rest of the worlds.
