Time was not some fancy, intergalatic way to keep track of what happened when, Jim decided. Time was rather a vulture, slowly killing anyone who was foolish enough to think that they could make it across the arid desert they called life. As long as you were walking, the vultures only circled, but as soon as you fell, even a little, they swooped down for the kill. It was menacing, and had no conscience that made it realize what a terror it was. It killed without mercy, especially seeking out the weak.

These were Jim's thoughts as he sat near his Aniki's bedside. Intermingled with thoughts of helplessness, guilt, and anger, it was the only thought that broke the horrid cycle of self-impossed admonishment and barely kept him from falling into the well of depression he was slowly digging for himself. That well was built by the knowledge that there was no way that Jim would be able to bring Gene to a hospital, and he was forced to watch as his mentor slid farther and farther away. As soon as Gene's name showed up on the medical net the people who were out to eliminate him, if there were any left, would pounce on the opportunity.

Melfina had been crushed ever since she had realized that there was no way that she could help. When Gene had been poisoned, all she had to do was purify his system. It was like deleting a virus from a highly compex computer. The difference now was that whole chunks of the computer's main programing were missing, and she couldn't create new algorithms to save his life. She spent hours just sitting next to Gene and whispering "You promised we would always be together. You said that you wouldn't leave me. You promised, you promised, you promised...." When she wasn't doing that she walked around the ship doing what she normally did, but the quiet energy that she usually put in her tasks was gone. She would try to put on a brave front to the rest of the crew, but she was so empathic that everyone could tell it was just a facade.

Aisha was trying her hardest to keep everyone's spirits up, but even with her seemingly unending reserves of energy and bad jokes to which no one laughed, there was little she could do. Fruitlessly she attempted to stir up conversations at the few times when everyone ate, but she was met with stubborn silence. At one time, she got so exasperated she exploded, and it just happened to be to Jim.

"What's wrong with you?! I feel like I'm talking to the bulkheads! Can't you at least try to talk? It will make you feel better, I swear! I'm just trying to help!"

"Sorry, Aisha, I just don't feel much like talking. I've got to go see if maybe..." was Jim's only response as he left Aisha, and she was left was in the uneasy feeling that if something didn't happen soon the ship would be nothing more than a grave of broken souls. She had to keep everyone's spirits up or the worst really would happen, and she couldn't allow that. With a determined look on her face she set off again.

While Aisha didn't spend much time at Gene's bedside, she figured that her time would be better spent finding a solution, Suzuka spent a surprising amount of time there. It wasn't like Melfina with her crying, but more like a vigil. She usually stood with her bokken thrust outward, as if trying to fend off the grim-reaper himself. For all the rest of the crew knew, she was. She entered the makeshift sickbay silently, and left it the same way, but it was still evident that she was hurting deeply inside. How much, none of them knew. The only thing that Gilliam barely picked up on one time was

"I won't let my family die again...."

The girls were trying every thing that they could, but with their limited cash reserves and the danger that could be lurking around ever corner on this backward planet, there wasn't much that they could do. Unknown to Jim, the girls had also realize the effect that Gene's impending death was having on Jim. They worried that they were going to end up loosing two of the most important people to them, not just one. It didn't take anything more than a glance to see the dark circles and slumped shoulders that Jim displayed. Melfina had to thrust food in front of his face and Aisha practically had to force feed him. It was as if he had lost the will to live. He was constantly at his Aniki's side, and barely registered when others entered the room. He seemed totally severed from reality.

Not only that, Melfina had pointed out when the three girls had a conference about what was happening to the youngest member of their crew, but his expression was always so distant. Even when he was looking at one of them he seemed to be in another world. If one of them looked into his eyes, all they could see was a crushed spirit. As much as any of them had become close to Gene, their relationships were as pale as Jim's complexion when compared to the bond that the two men had.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aisha was on the bridge when the call came in. At first she didn't notice it, as she had been running impossible scenarios of saving Gene through her head over and over again, trying to find maybe something that she had missed. As much as people accused her of being insensitive, she really did care. She just liked to show it a different way.

When she finally did notice the blinking symbol that meant that an incoming message was waiting to be read, she groaned at the interruption in her thought process and considered banging the control panel just to get it to be quiet. That was when she noticed that the transmission was for Jim.

"Now, now, just what do we have here?" she asked curiouslyof no one in particular, since no one else was there. "A transmission from Fred Luo, to...Gene?" Obviously he hadn't heard. Making a decision quickly, she jumped out of the seat and spun around to the door. She was bolting out of the door when she caught a glimpse of Suzuka in her peripheral vision.

"Hey Suzu! I've got to find Jim real quick! Keep an eye on the bridge would ya?" Not waiting for an answer, just assuming that no one would not comply to the requests of a Ctarl Ctarl, she was out of sight in the blink of an eye.

Sighing, but conceding that she had nothing better to do, Suzuka strolled into the room. She cocked her head when she saw the blinking light and went over to see exactly what the transmission was. When she realized what it was she frowned. "Now just what is that Ctarl Ctarl up to? If she's actually going to give this message to Gene somehow...." Suzuka shook her head. That sounded just like something that emotional, spastic cat-girl would do. Walking much quicker than she had entering the room, she went directly to Gene's room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The scene that greeted her there made her blink at the total oppositeness of what she had expected. Not only was the whole crew there, but Melfina and Aisha were actually smiling. Smiling! She hadn't seen that expression on any of the crew in so long that she had forgotten what it had looked like. On the view screen that lay on the table next to Gene's immobile form on the bed, Luo's eyes were in happy little creases. Suzuka walked in just soon enough to hear Jim's exhausted voice muster some semblance of energy when he said,

"Thanks Fred. I don't know what we would do without you. I'll pick up that thing right now, and then we'll be on our way. I'm really sorry I forgot about it, but...you know...."

"Oh Jim, don't worry! I don't want Gene to die anymore than you do! You just deliver my package and I'll fix everything! See you in Santa Verde!" The screen closed silently and Jim turned to the rest of the group that had been standing behind him.

"I've got to go and pick up that package, but I'll be right back. We have to grab this opportunity while we can."

"I'm sorry, but would you kindly explain to me just where you are going and what that call was about?" Suzuka couldn't stand being left in the dark about things. If she was going to keep tabs on them to make sure they didn't get in any trouble, she had to know what was going on. That, and she hated to have secrets kept from her.

Jim turned to face her directly from his vantage point directly to the right of Gene's bed, and it startled her to see a flick of light in his eyes. He had yet to smile in relief as the other two girls were, but he at least had a spark of life in him. It was something that had been seriously lacking, much to the girls chagrin, ever since this thing started. "Fred just called and said that in exchange for getting some cargo to Santa Verde, like we were going to anyway, he would make sure that Gene got the best medical care possible. He said he had some connections, and he would be able to arrange everything if we could bring that device to the capital punishment section of the government. We have a chance to save Gene now." Jim's gaze slid to his silent partner and he grabbed his hand tightly. Gene wasn't going to die now. He couldn't, now that there was a way to save him. Gene, I swear, if you die I will hate you forever. You got that? You can't leave me, I depend on you too much. I don't care what I have to do, but you will live. You won't go without a fight because I'm going to fight for you. Count on it.

"Capital punishment? Are you sure that it's a good idea to be carrying deadly things on our ship? No offense to you Jimmy, but even though you can pilot the Outlaw Star you're not as good as Gene. Not that he didn't almost get us killed a couple of times, but I don't want to be blown up." Aisha put forward bluntly.

"Don't worry, it's not a bomb, or dangerous chemical or anything. I got the specs on it, and what it does is take the life force from someone. It was going to be used for medicinal purposes, but they brass of the medical world decided that it was too dangerous. The possibility that the machine would take too much life energy from one person and put in the other, basically killing one person to save another, was too high. The penitential division automatically saw this as a way to painlessly kill convicts on death row, so they've jumped on it. We need to give them the prototype, and then get Gene the medical attention he needs." Finally, as if everything that had been going on around him had finally registered in his brain, Jim allowed himself the tinniest of smiles. The girls, who had seen nothing but a shadow of their 'little brother' in the past week couldn't begin to explain what a welcome sight it was. It lifted a burden off of all of their hearts, whether they would admit that they were worried or not.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I'm sure that with such a fine ship you won't have any problems. I can see why they got you all to truck this thing over to Santa Verde. Fast, and a grapler ship. Doesn't get much better than that. Still don't believe that you're the captain though, no offense." The contact gave Jim a searching look again. At first he wouldn't hand over the Outlaw Star's cargo, not trusting that an 11 year old could handle the job. After he met Aisha though, and knew what would happen if someone was to dissagree with a Ctarl Ctarl: it was hazardous to one's health, and saw the ship, he was quick to change his mind.

"None taken." Jim still looked as if he was part of the walking dead, and in his conditionhe was close enough that it would be hard to tell the difference, but he was smart enough to put on a business like front for the man in front of him. "We'll get your cargo there, no problem." Aisha, who was beside Jim, was bouncing on her toes. The girls had made a pact that Jim would go no where without one of them with him. They didn't want him to do anything stupid, but in his current condition, they couldn't trust his better judgment.

"Let's go already! We're wasting time!" she urged. To emphasize her point she gripped Jim's shoulder and began to drag him back to the ship. As much as she wanted to get underway, she also began to slow as they both actually began their trip back to the ship. This was the longest amount of time, almost 2 and a half hours, that Jim had been away from Gene. Aisha admitted that she found the uptight, nagging Jim that worried about everything under the sun because he cared about each and every one of the crew, a bit on the annoying side, but she would pay any cost to hear Jim complain about Gene's extravagant lifestyle right now.

"Come on Aisha, I have to check on Gene." Jim quickened his pace as they passed every block. Aisha sighed, and knew that nothing less then Gene's full recovery would make Jim be well again too. No amount of her shenanigans or one liner jokes. She just hoped that Jim would never give up hope and do something drastic. It had been hard for her to imagine when Suzuka had brought it up at their meeting, but glancing over at Jim again, seeing the defeat that had returned to his eyes, Aisha understood why they had to take precautions.

Oh well, it was Melfina's job to watch Jim next. It's not like she would have to do much work keeping track of him. As soon as they were ready they would lift off, she knew he would engage the auto-pilot and then Jim would go back to where he always did. Gene's room. Aisha just hoped they would be able to get him to eat today.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After Jim and Aisha got back to the ship things proceeded so closely to what Aisha had predicted that she began to think that among the rest of her amazing powers, she was also becoming psychic. As soon as Jim went through the hatch he immediately bolted for Gene's room. After a brief check up on his best friend he made his way to the control room where he, with the help of Melfina, launched the ship. It's wasn't as smooth as maybe Gene would have done it, but he got the job done. When they had exited the atmosphere and Melfina had computed and laid in a course for Santa Verde, Jim put the ship on auto-pilot and left the bridge. Melfina left her chamber and proceeded to follow him.

Melfina couldn't help but frown when she found herself outside Gene's room. Going here every waking moment and even some sleeping ones, she had found Jim sprawled out on the floor beside Gene's bed atleast twice, was killing Jim. She just wished that there was something she could do. The slight spark of hope, that she now thought that she might have imagined, she saw when Fred called seemed to have dissipated, and he didn't even seem to register that she was in the room with him.

"Jim, you haven't eaten all day. I made some salad and sandwiches for lunch, and there's some left over. Why don't you go and have some? I'll look after Gene for you." Melfina was worried that Jim would suddenly pass out from lack of nourishment, and that wouldn't help anyone. Unfortunately, Jim didn't even seem to notice that she'd made the suggestion.

"Please Jim, I'm really worried about you. We all are. Please at least answer me!" Melfina tried to break through the triple-reinforced concrete walls that she could see behind Jim's eyes. For his own part, Jim's gaze didn't waver for a minute as he replied,

"No."

"Jim, you're not doing any good killing yourself. How do you think we're going to get on if you keep on doing this?" In a desperate attempt to get anything out of the desolate young boy besides monosyllable answers she added, "What would Gene say?"

That certainly got a reaction. Jim spun on her, his body tense with anger, but the utter indifference in radiated from his soul through his eyes didn't change. "Gene is dying and you expect me to just drop everything and go eat!? Gene needs me, and I'm not going to leave him! This is all my fault! I knew something bad was going to happen, but did I do anything about it? No! I just let the person that means the most to me in the whole universe down. I would do anything to switch places with him. This is all my fault."

Aghast, Melfina had no idea what to say. It seemed totally illogical for Jim to feel the way he did. Guilt or no, he was purposefully doing this to himself, and she couldn't understand for the life of her why. "No, Jim, it's not that way at all. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. Don't try to tell me otherwise. I know the truth."

"No one blames you!"

"Well I do."

There was no reasoning with the boy. Melfina's heart didn't want to leave one of her only friends in such a desolate condition, but she couldn't think of anything that would cheer him up. "You shouldn't," was her weak rejoiner.

Knowing that he had won, whether for good or ill, Jim didn't answer. He didn't need to. He knew that he was right, and that if Gene died, Jim would too. Maybe not physically, but in every other way that was important, and that was worse. There was no stopping it, and he half-way embraced the idea. Then he would know that it wasn't just Gene suffering.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was an hour after that argument when it happened. Jim had fallen asleep out of pure exhaustion again, leaning halfway on Gene's bed and halfway sliding out the chair that he seemed to be permanently rooted to. That's when the alarm went off. Jerking up as if he had been shot, Jim looked blearily around, trying to place the sound. When he happened to glance at the monitors that displayed Gene's condition, and had until that point stayed steadily in their lower range, he gasped in horror.

It wasn't much, but it was a noticeable drop in Gene's vital functions. Staring in disbelief at what he saw, Jim suddenly felt a surge of anger.

"You can't leave Gene! You're stronger than this! We're going to find a way to save you! You can't leave me like this!" Pounding his small fists on the side of the bed, Jim let out of the pent up anger, frustration and sadness that he had kept so well controlled, he thought, in his heart. "I need you! The girls need you! Gene why couldn't it have been me and not you? Why!?"

There was nothing that anyone could do to help, and Jim once again had the foreboding feeling that Gene wouldn't make it until they arrived at Santa Verde. How could I have let this happen? Why can't I just die instead? I would gladly do it, but...I don't know how I could.... Jim's eyes widened as a half formed plan flowered in his mind. No matter the cost it was worth it. He had said that he would gladly sacrifice his life for that of his partner's, and now was his chance to prove it. This is the last thing I have to fight with Aniki. Please take it and fight like an Outlaw should. I tried to be strong, but I'm just not as good as you, you never let me down. I'm sorry....

****Bum, bum, bum. Cue the ominous music. So what's going to happen? Do I know? Not really. Oh well, it'll be a surprise to everyone (including me). Oh, and before I forget, I don't own Outlaw Star, I just like to torture it's characters. Hmm...ok, I think I have problems... (no duh!) Thanks for reading, and please review!!! Thanks in advance! Oh, and please annoy me until I get the next part out. You know how long it took me to get out this part! I'm sanctioning you to get on my nerves, take advantage of it! Ja!

Dedicated to everyone affected by what happened on the 11th. My prayers are with you, and so are the rest of the worlds.