CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE: FEELING GUILTY

Anakin stormed into the med-center, cradling an unconscious Tahiri in his arms. He frantically shouted for someone – anyone – to help him.

An MD series medical droid shuffled into view to investigate what all the commotion was.

"She needs help," Anakin told the droid unnecessarily.

"Please place her over here, sir," said the droid, indicating to a medical examination table to Anakin's left. "Are you injured as well?" It asked once Anakin had sit Tahiri down.

Anakin looked down at the red stains on his hands and shirt. "No, this is her blood," he said in a hoarse whisper.

The medical droid wasted no time as it carefully examined Tahiri's injuries – its servomotors whining slightly with each move it made. "Minor head trauma," its mechanical voice whirred, "significant blood loss from deep scalp wound." Ignoring Anakin completely, it ambled over to a small steel cabinet and removed a skin graft bandage and some antiseptic gel.

Anakin hovered impatiently over its metallic shoulder, watching it clean Tahiri's head wound and then place the graft bandage over it.

"Is she going to be all right?" He asked anxiously.

"There was no permanent damage to her," the droid said facing him.

"But you said she lost a lot of blood,"

"Yes, but not a large enough amount that would require her to be put in bacta,"

"So, she's going to be okay?"

If the droid had been programmed to sigh it would have. "I believe I have already told you that,"

That was a relief to Anakin, but that did not make him feel any better about what had happened – or any less responsible.

"Sir, can you tell me what happened?" Said the droid.

Anakin opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. He could not bring himself to form his tongue around the words. All he could do was stare at Tahiri's still form. He squeezed his eyes shut. What had he done?

"Sir, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Anakin managed to get out.

The medical droid regarded him curiously, but did not push the matter.

"I am going to have to ask you to leave," it said.

Anakin snapped out of his daze. "Why? I need to stay here with her," he protested.

"I am going to get her cleaned up and into a med-gown. I need to make sure there are no non-visible injuries, and then you may come back," without waiting for Anakin's response, the MD series medical droid ushered him out of the room.

Alone in the hallway, Anakin felt his mind going numb. He desperately needed to sit down.

"Anakin!" Luke Skywalker shouted, rushing towards his nephew. He had felt the powerful surge in the force that had come from Anakin and it had led him here. "Anakin, what happened?" Luke said, deeply concerned.

Anakin did not appear to have heard him. He looked to be in shock. Luke gently shook him by the shoulders.

"Tell me what happened,"

"It was me," Anakin replied, choking over the words.

"What was you?"

"It was me," he repeated, his ice blue eyes full of remorse, "I did it to her,"

When Tahiri came to, she found herself in unfamiliar surroundings, but soon recognized she was in the room that served as the praxeum's medical facility. Why was she here? She tried to remember but it sent a throbbing pain through her head. Her head. That triggered her memory. She had been in Anakin's room, trying to reach out to him with her mind, when he had used the force to throw her across the room and something hard had knocked her out cold. If she had the strength, she would have shuddered at the memory.

She turned her head and saw him, hunched over in a chair by her bed. He looked awful.

"What happened?" She asked him in a quiet voice.

Anakin looked at the floor, ashamed. "When I threw you, you hit your head on the corner of my shelf. The medical droid said you're going to be okay,"

"Are you okay now?"

He fidgeted in his seat. "Yeah,"

It hurt too much to sense if he was lying.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking at her for the first time.

"What's happening to you?"

"I had a nightmare, that's all,"

"No, it's more then that. I can tell,"

"Look, you should get some rest," he said getting up, "we can talk later,"

She tried to protest but she could not summon the energy to do so, and without another word passing between them, Anakin left the room.

This time when she woke up, she was not nearly as disoriented as before and her head did not feel like it was spinning every time she moved it.

Tahiri was hoping to find Anakin there because they had a lot they needed to talk about. Starting with telling him she didn't hate him like she should have told him when she had first woke up. But Anakin was not there. In his place was the Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.

"How do you feel?"

"Better,"

He gave her a relieved smile. "That's good. Anakin was really worried about you."

"Where is he?" When she saw the Jedi Master shift in his seat, a tingle of uneasiness washed over her.

"He left, Tahiri, soon after you woke up."

She did not like what she was hearing. "Where did he go?"

"He took off in one of the old ship's lying around in the hanger bay," said Luke, carefully avoiding her question.

"But where did he go?"

Luke looked uncomfortable. "He asked me not to tell you,"

"What?" She sat up a little too fast, and felt her head spinning. Luke placed a steadying hand on her shoulder, and when she felt the dizziness subside, she said, "why would he do that?"

"Because he knew you would want to go after him,"

"Of course I'm going after him. How could I not after what happened? It was my fault. I shouldn't have tried to force my way into his head like I did."

"It's not your fault," he assured her, "Anakin has not been acting like himself lately and that's why he did it,"

"What's wrong with him?" She said in a small voice.

"He's having an emotional breakdown," Luke began in a grave voice, "everything that he has kept shut up inside is finally catching up with him. I've warned him many times about the dangers of keeping feelings so strong bottled up inside. And now, the fortress that he built inside of himself to keep everything in is falling apart – and taking him with it," he explained to her.

"Chewbacca's death was the final straw. And even though his death may have brought it on, Anakin's problems go far deeper than that. There are thoughts and feelings locked up in him that go all the way back to his childhood that he can no longer suppress."

Tahiri tried to prepare herself for the answer to her next question. "Is he falling to the dark side?"

Luke could see the fear evident in her eyes when she asked him. "Not yet," he answered truthfully, "but given time he could eventually fall if he continues to fight them,"

Them meaning years of pent up anger, frustration, guilt, sorrow and other powerful emotions that lead down the path to the dark side.

"I should have seen it coming," Tahiri reprimanded herself, "he's my best friend."

"You couldn't have. I don't even think Anakin knew what was happening until it was too late,"

She came to a decision. "I'm going after him,"

Luke frowned. "Tahiri –"

"Master Skywalker, he can't fix this on his own. He needs someone to help him get through this, and don't ask me why but that someone has to be me,"

"What about your head?"

"I told you a feel a lot better," well, maybe not a lot better.

Luke shot her a disbelieving look. "Kam and Tionne would have a fit if they knew I let you leave here while you were still injured,"

"I'm leaving here whether or not I have your permission," she stated evenly. "Please," she pleaded with him, "just tell me where Anakin is," when he remained silent, she added, "you know that I'm right,"

Luke hated the idea of her going off after Anakin alone, especially when she was not fully recovered. But something in the force told him that she had to be the one to go or else the path Anakin was heading on would continue to be shrouded in darkness.

"Tatooine," Luke said at last, "that's where you'll find him,"