*^__^* Arigato, minna-san for all the nice comments. Made my exam-filled days more bearable. Now, without further ado, let's launch into the second part of "Womanly Problems?"


Chapter 2
"Ooooohhh....Those Womanly Problems...."


(Warning:This is going to be l-o-o-n-g-g-g...)

When we last saw Tsukasa, he was on his way to see Tsubaki...



Doumyouji, who finally had the sense to get a cab was thinking.

"Womanly problems? Hmm....I wonder how I could have missed knowing about such a thing. If it's an illness, there must have been some symptoms."

Doumyouji's mind drifts back to the past week, trying to pick out instances where there might have been evidence of womanly problems with Makino.

***Flashback***

We see two very angry Doumyouji and Makino arguing over something trivial.

"Stop calling me bonbii!"

"Well, that's what you are!"

"I am not a bonbii!"

"Whatever. Face it. BONBII!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

Makino's face was flushed red with anger.

Doumyouji had a vein popping out his forehead.


Suddenly, Makino's face started to crumple and without warning, she began to cry. Tears rolled down her face.

Doumyouji panicked. He didn't know how such a small thing could make Makino cry.

"I didn't mean it, Makino. Hey, don't cry. Here..."

Doumyouji dug his pocket for a handkerchief or tissue.

"It's okay, Doumyouji. I'm fine. Really. Hey!*here Makino gives an almost maniacal smile* let's go BUNGEE JUMPING!

"Bungee jumping?"

"Yeah. Bungee jumping! Bungee jumping!" Makino shouted like an over-caffienated Shigeru.

"Stop it crazy woman! Stop dancing in the street!"

"Did you just call me crazy woman? That's just as bad as calling me 'bonbii'!"

With that Makino proceeded to rain blows on Doumyouji's head.

***End of Flashback***

"Mood swings...That doesn't seem like a symptom. Makino's always like that anyway..."thought Doumyouji and he drifts back into thoughts.

***Yet another Flashback***

Doumyouji is walking towards Makino. Makino is not facing him. She appears to be standing still, wanting for someone.

"Ready to go, Makino?"

Makino turns around. Her eyes are glazed over, giving her a zombie-like look.

"Chocolate...chocolate..."Makino says in an unintelligible voice.

"Huh?"

"Want chocolate...chocolate...NO!NEED chocolate!"

"Do you mean chocolate lie milk chocolate, dark choclate, bitter sweet chocolate..."

Doumyouji didn't notice that Makino had begun to drool.(Me is drooling too!)

"A-a-a-a...Chocolate...Let's go buy chocolate..."

Doumyouji sweat-dropped. ^_^;

***End of the Yet another Flashback***

"The incredible urge to eat chocolate? Nope, that couldn't be a symptom," thought Doumyouji, remembering how Makino's eyes had glittered when she entered the sweet shop.

Finally, he reached the Doumyouji mansion.(more like palace)

Doumyouji found Tsubaki, Shigeru and Sakurako sipping tea in the garden. Tsubaki did not look happy to see him.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

Doumyouji was about to give a sharp retort but decided against it. He figured it might amount to a sound beating.(True...true...)

Besides she might end up not answering his question like everybody else.

So, instead...

(Author's note: Now I want everyone, yes everyone, who reads the next part to imagine it. If you're like me, you'll get a pretty freaky mental image.)

Doumyouji opened his eyes really wide, making them look as googly-eyed as possible(like those overly-cute, overly-irritating looking type characters) and asked in a small, trembly voice,
"Nee-chan, do you know what a womanly problem is?"

Blink.Blink.(went Doumyouji's eyes)

Tsubaki had the decency to look shocked. No, not just shocked. She was flabbergasted!

Shigeru and Sakurako just stared at Doumyouji with disbelieving eyes.

It took awhile for all to recover from the look and Doumyouji's question. By then, Doumyouji had taken the look off his face, and was back to his scowling, angry self.

"Well?!! What's a womanly problem, then?"

"You mean, you really have no idea what a womanly problem is, Doumyouji-san?" asked Sakurako.

"I wouldn't have asked if I knew, right?" he retorted.

"What?!!" shouted Shigeru.

"Are you stupid?"she continued,"everyone knows what a womanly problem is!"

(Author's note:Well, apparently Doumyouji's the only one.)

Tsubaki, who had already recovered from the shock, came up to her brother, looked him in the eye, and asked,
"You really don't know?"

"Hai, I have no idea Nee-chan."

"Umm...Didn't Mother ever teach you?"

"Her? No! Why should she?"

Suddenly, Tsubaki blushed. She never knew that she was going to have to educate Doumyouji on this delicate matter.

"Alright, then," she adopted a military stance,"let's go."

"Go where?" asked a very confused Doumyouji, Shigeru and Sakurako.

"To educate you."

Some time later,

Everyone found themselves in a supermarket.

Tsubaki was weaving through the aisles, looking for the correct one.
Finally, she found it.

"Here it is Tsukasa. I'm sure you'll be able to guess what womanly problems are after looking at these."

By these, Tsubaki menat the row and rows of pads, tampons etc...

"Long', "Slim", "Maxi", "Ultra slim" and "Super absorbent" read the packages.

(In the bacground you can hear Shigeru and Sakurako arguing over which was better."Pads!" , "No, tampons!" , "PADS!")

"Nee-chan, do you mean to tell me that womanly problems mean diarrhea?!!"

"No! Tsukasa don't you have any idea what these are?"

"Of course, I do. When I watched TV, I always saw all these women prancing around, promoting these diapers."

"Diapers?!! You think they're diapers?!!" Tsubaki's voice rang out.

(Author's note: Up until a few years ago, I thought they were diapers too!)

"Well, what are they then? Besides, you haven't told me what a womanly problem is?" said Tsukasa.

"Diapers. He thinks they're diapers..." Tsubaki was babbling nonsense. She had received too many shocks in one day.

Fortunately,

(DRUM ROLL)

Super Shigeru and her sidekick, Sakurako to the rescue!

Both had spotted a magazine with the words, in bold red print, "A Guy's guide to WOMANLY PROBLEMS."

"Read this,"they said in unison.

Muttering something about confusing women, Doumyouji flipped open the magazine to the appropriate page.

He began to read the detailed descriptions as to what a womanly problem was. Very detailed descriptions.

The play of emotions on Doumyouji's face was interesting to watch. His facial expressions changed from shock to horror to disgust and disbelief.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he finished reading.

He only had one word to say,
"Ick."

And then he was gone, to help solve Makino's womanly problems.
Leaving Shigeru and Sakurako to take care of his still babbling sister(Diaper?Diaper?).



(Author's note: Well, that's the end of the second chapter. I don't blame you if you skipped some parts. It is long. Thanx for taking the time to read. *^__^*
The last chapter will be out as soon as I finish all my exams.)


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