Small warning: One of them is bi. Deal with it. No slash-scenes, though there is some very heavy undertones. Nothing worse than what goes on in my class (which, when thinking about it, deserves an 'R'-rating. Wait- NC17...oh, heck of it).
Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter. The chapter title is from second *Ranma 1/2* pocketbook. I own nothing except the plot. 'Curious George' (y'know, the little monkey?) belongs to whoever created him.
~~*~
Chapter 3: Hot Competition
True to their word, Sirius and James returned to the spot around midnight, this time accompanied by Remus and Peter. While James had been practical, taking the invisibility cloak, Remus had brought the piece of parchment that he always drew on, muttering something about map. Both Remus and Sirius had shed their robes for muggle clothes (which were much more practical in cases like this), while Peter and James were still wearing robes.
They gathered around the painting, trying to figure out how to swing it open.
"Are you sure you didn't notice how he got it open?" Peter said as he eyed Sirius critically.
"I've told you three times, Peter, he came out of the hole!" snapped Sirius as his fingers wandered over the portrait, searching for a hidden tap or knot. "For all we know, this could be a closet."
Remus looked up from his drawing.
"So, what you're saying is that he came out of the closet?"
"In one way, yes."
"While you are trying to get into it?"
Sirius nodded.
"Oh, why? We don't judge people! Or do we, James?"
James didn't answer, seeing as both he and Peter were doubled up laughing. Sirius turned, and glared at Remus.
"Two words: Not. Funny."
"And I've got three words for you: Prod the arithmancy book." When Sirius made no sign of doing as he was told to, Remus leaned over Peter (who wasn't exactly the tallest fellow in the bunch), and prodded one of the books in the picture.
"That was four words," Sirius muttered as the portrait swung open.
They climbed in, and found themselves in a dark room. What appeared to be furniture, was bathed in vague moonlight from windows Sirius for all of his life couldn't see.
"Lumos," said James. The room was instantly illuminated by the light from his wand.
"What is this place?" asked Peter, his voice hushed, as if in awe.
It was a rather large room, about twice the size of the Gryffindor Common Room. It was furnished with old chairs and sofas. On the tables spread throughout the room, items like Witch Weekly magazines, lunascopes and scrolls of parchment rested. Several book-cases were placed along the walls, and the large fireplace on the south wall was decorated with carvings of dragons, unicorns, and other mythical creatures. On the other side of the room, there was another portrait hole, as some kind of hidden entrance.
But the most impressive things of all was the ceiling.
It was a large glass dome, and above it, Sirius could see countless stars, and, of course, the new moon.
James wolf-whistled.
"So this is the seventhyears' common room."
"Wow," said Peter.
"Yea-" Sirius had just started his reply when Remus hushed at him.
"What?" snapped Sirius.
"There's someone coming. James, nox." The light was extinguished at once.
And he was right. Because at that moment, someone made the portrait swing open.
What happened next, was all in a blur.
Peter, being his own, practical self, transformed into his rat form, and hid quickly.
Sirius, who was holding the invisibility cloak, quickly covered himself with it. He was soon joined by Remus.
James quickly dived behind a chair, and then, all they could do was hold their breath and hope that they wouldn't get caught. So they waited in silence. Silence and darkness.
Not for long though.
A whispered spell made the candles strategically placed around the room light up, and soon the room was bathed in dim light.
Next to the portrait hole stood Lucius Malfoy, and by the looks of it, he was helping someone climbing in.
Sirius bit his lip as Lily Evans stepped into the room. James was not going to like this.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," said Lily.
Lucius chuckled.
"Well, you are. Not chickening out, are you?" he said, a sly grin on his face.
She smiled, and laid her hands around his neck.
"Of course not. I'm a Gryffindor. You know, 'brave and true'."
"As opposed to me, a vile Slytherin."
Both of them grinned. He placed his hands on her hips, and leaned in to kiss her.
This perfect Kodak moment was, however, by James, who emitted a sound not unlike the one Sirius' cat had made when he at age ten had carried it around by the tale.
Lucius' head quickly jerked up, and in two quick steps he was standing next to the chair, staring down at James.
"Potter," he sneered.
Lily sidled up beside him, and the look on her face spelled murder when she realised that James was there, and that he probably had heard and seen everything they had said and done.
"James Potter! Never in my life-" she started, and Sirius assumed that she was about to start one of her infamous rants. However, he never found out, seeing as his attention was pulled away from the drama building up, and over to Remus, who tapped his shoulder.
'What'? Sirius mouthed.
Remus jerked his head towards the still open portrait hole, which Peter in his rat form currently was climbing through.
The two of them slowly edged along the wall, trying to be silent, so that neither Lucius or Lily would hear them. There was a few close calls, like when Sirius almost knocked over a Ming vase while they were climbing out of the room, but at last they were standing in the hallway. The portrait shut soundlessly after them, and they quickly got off the warm cloak.
Remus leaned against the wall, and breathed out in relief. Sirius felt a sudden urge to laugh. Danger had always attracted him, which was probably why the pranks he came up with always contained a certain risk of getting caught, mauled and other elements of danger. And escaping Lucius Malfoy and an annoyed, mad Lily Evans in the middle of the night did certainly count as a health hazard of the 'danger, Will Robinson, danger'-degree. And it had been so easy!
He laughed, the way only he could do it. The loud, howling laughter that scared away small firstyears, which was no wonder, seeing as he used it like a muggle madman used a gun; ready to go off at any second, and with no pattern whatsoever. Remus looked at him through bangs of bright brown hair, one of his eyebrows raised. Sirius tried to explain, but all he managed was to shake his head in a way that would, if seen at the right time, even give Minerva McGonnogall a laughing fit. However, seeing as Remus had spent very much time (probably more than what was good for him) with Sirius, all he did was smile and laugh softly.
After a short while, Sirius finally got a hold of himself. He was about to ask Remus if they should wait and see what happened with James, but at the sound of soft cat's paws only a few metres away stopped him.
"Shhh!" he hushed at Remus, who was still laughing.
The young lycanthrope looked up.
"What?" he said grumpily. Adrenaline had that effect on him.
Sirius didn't take time to answer, just grabbed his friend and quickly hid behind a nearby hanging tapestry. Seeing as Remus was protesting and struggling against his restraint (damn werewolf-instinct), leaving Sirius with no choice but pinning him up against the wall, holding his hand over the other boy's mouth.
"Shhh," he said once more. Remus just stared at him, venom in his gaze. But he didn't do anything, which was very fortunately, seeing as Mrs. Norris at that moment rounded the corner.
This time, Remus spotted her too, and after shooting him an expressive look, Sirius took his hand away from his face.
"See?" he whispered.
Remus cursed softly.
"We'll have to wait. Maybe she'll go away."
Sirius nodded, and held Remus' gaze for one more, lingering, second. He blinked, and Sirius quickly looked down.
Remus was still looking at Mrs. Norris, who was still prowling the around the corridor, now absorbed in sniffing the invisibility cloak, which Sirius in all the commotion had left on the hallway floor. Sirius suddenly became aware of how cramped the two of them were, and how hot the close space between them suddenly seemed. The memory of how he had made out with a Ravenclaw at the exactly same place only weeks ago suddenly flashed before his eyes, making him shift uneasily. Unfortunately, the wretched cat heard the ruffling of his clothes, and looked up at that exact moment. Remus head snapped up, and Sirius could feel his friend's warm breath, in and out, in sync with his chest as it heaved up and down. A lock of brown hair that had fallen from down from behind his ear, tickled Sirius' chin and nose, making him want to both sneeze and inhale the sweet smell of it at the same time.
Hm. Smells like honey. Never noticed that before Quite nice, actually..
At the moment that particular thought floated into the conscious part of his brain, Sirius blushed furiously. However, his thoughts were at that moment ripped away from everything as he registered that Mrs. Norris had jumped around and sped around the corner. Sirius quickly calculated that Filch would be there within half a minute, and realised that this time, they were really in for it.
"Shit," he whispered. "What do we do know?"
"As far as I can see, the only thing possible."
"And that is?"
"Run. Run like hell."
~~*~~
Exactly how they managed to get back to the common room without getting caught, AND with the invisibility cloak intact, Sirius never could account for later. All he knew was that it was only the thought of his nice, warm bed that kept him awake as he started to climb the stairs up to his dorm.
"Wait," said Remus, who was still standing just inside the portrait hole.
Sirius sighed, and turned.
"Yes, Remus?"
"Don't you think we should wait for James?"
"Why should we wait up when Peter didn't?"
"Actually, he did." The lycanthrope gestured towards the other end of the room, where Peter's sleeping form was curled up in one of the chairs in front of the fire.
"Fine, then."
Sirius said, slumping into a chair. Sure, he was James best friend and all, but he needed his sleep. Sometimes, Remus was just too good a friend. He glanced up at the werewolf, who now, leaning on the shelf over the fireplace. The slowly dying flames illuminated his tired face, making him look like a tragic, Dickensian figure. Sirius sighed (not really sure why), and the other boy looked up, shooting him a look, that, if translated into words, would have said 'what?' in an extremely grumpy tone.
Determined not to look at the boy who was depriving him of sleep, Sirius looked down. In lack of anything else to do, he took out the small stone figure he always carried around. As a point of distraction, it worked fairly well- Sirius knew that from experience; he had used it successfully in such classes as History of Magic, Arithmancy, and divination (call 555-IDIOCY for your own replica). And true to its reputation, it worked as a charm this time too. Soon, all his attention was directed towards the task of finding out something he had been wondering since his grandmother had given him it when he was five years old; which way was up, and which way was Sirius' favourite; down.
"What is that thing?"
Sirius was startled by Remus voice, and quickly stuffed the figure into his back pocket of his jeans.
"What thing?" he asked, smiling angelic.
"The thing you just put into your back pocket."
Sirius set up a confused face.
"I don't understand..."
Remus cocked his head.
"Don't make me come over there and molest you."
Sirius smiled slyly as he stood up and went over to the fire.
"Is that necessarily a bad thing? I thought you went for tall, blackhaired guys?"
"Not necessarily guys. However, if do decide to get myself a boyfriend, I want one with ruddy good looks. And that, my friend, immediately rules you out," Remus said sarcastically. "Now, for the last time, what is that thing?"
"That's for me to know, and you to never find out."
Remus raised an eyebrow, and stepped out to the side, seemingly to go sit down in one of the chairs. However, as soon as Sirius let his guard down, he turned, and grabbed after the hem of Sirius' jeans. Obviously, he was trying to get a hold of the figure. Sirius, of course, reacted by turning, leaving Remus' hand to rest on his- erm- behind for the split of a second.
Now, if the two of them hadn't been interrupted at this point, this compromising situation would immediately evolved into a relatively innocent wrestling match (well, as innocent as wrestling between two boys high on hormones and adrenaline can be), and no one would even given that brief moment a thought.
But of course, the two of them weren't that lucky, seeing as James at that moment climbed into the common room.
"Erm," was all he said.
The two of them jumped apart, blushing.
"Don't ask," said Remus.
"Don't tell," came the reply.
The three of them managed to wake up Peter (which was quite a deed, seeing as he normally could have slept through a thunderstorm, a Voldemort attack, and the apocalypse- at the same time). On their way up to their dorm, Remus asked James what happened after they left.
"Well," started James, "Lily continued her 'little' tirade for the next fifteen minutes, stopped for as long it took her to climb out of the room, continued all the way up to McGonagall's office, where McGonagall gave me a lecture not unlike Lily's, before giving me detention." At this point, James' face fell into sombre folds.
"Well, that's not too bad," said Peter. "Why the sad face?"
"...On Sunday at noon."
Sirius gasped.
"But that's when the quidditch match is!"
As he backed into the dorm, James threw his hands up in exasperation.
"Don't you think I know that? I tried to tell her that I can't, that I as member of the Gryffindor team, I have to be present."
"And?" said Remus.
"Don't you think that Malfoy, that creep, found it included in his mission to point out the fact that the Lions weren't playing? I mean, that's beside the point! It doesn't matter if my team is playing or not, if I want the chance to become captain next year, I HAVE to know the other teams inside out."
He started tearing his hair as he slumped down on the bed.
"And the worst of all," he said, shooting Sirius 'a' look, "I have to serve the detention with Malfoy. I mean, if it had been Lily..." He trailed off, and got a far-away, dreamy look in her eyes.
Remus threw the cloak on his bed, laughing. "Watch it, Jamesie, you're drooling."
Peter smirked, and James threw the cloak at him.
"Shut up, Wormtail."
"Well, you have to admit, James, this obsession of yours has now lasted long enough to qualify you to the title 'Official sad bastard of the Highlanders'...mph-pho-phct," said Remus, the last part muffled because he was pulling his shirt over his head, getting ready for bed.
Sirius nodded.
"Couldn't have said it better myself."
James rolled his eyes.
"You know, I'm beginning to think Snape were right about you two after all."
Sirius scowled.
"Don't be absurd, Potter. I'm NOT gay. I repeat, NOT gay."
"Oh. Then, should we simply assume that you were giving Aidan Lynch mouth-to-mouth that time in the quidditch changing rooms, then?"
"That was different, we were just experimenting. I'm a curious person," Sirius replied, utterly indignant.
"The wacky adventures of curious Sirius," laughed Peter. "Good idea for a book! We'll have to change the names, of course, but if everything go as planned, we'll be rich!"
"There already is a book like that," said Remus. "It's called 'George, the curious monkey'."
Sirius sat bolt up.
"Hey! That's no fair, two against one! James, help me out here, will you?"
But James didn't answer. He was already fast asleep in his bed, lost in dreams that involved Lily, whipped cream, and maple syrup.
A/N: Wow, that was quite a long chapter, don't you think? Chapter 4 is coming along quite well, and will be kind of long too. I want to thank everyone who reviewed, especially Nayru, who both beta read and put up with my wild ideas (don't worry 'bout Rem, girlie- the poor dear will not be involved in any threesomes, I promise).
As always, please review! :)
