The Romantic Exploits of Dennis Creevey

The Romantic Exploits of Dennis Creevey

By Ziegod Lizski

Special thanks to Cornish Pixie for the suggestion.

Dear Diary,

Today I decided to make a change in my life—I'm going to trade in the old Dennis Creevey for a newer, shinier model, preferably one with gold hubcaps. And a pair of fuzzy dice would me nice, too---Oh! And one of those pine air fresheners…I tend to get a little stinky in the summertime. Anyway, I knew it was time for a new me when my "I like myself" and "I'm a good listener" t-shirts developed large holes. In order to achieve my new self, I have written some goals:

-By "playah" clothes—only wear stuff that has been worn by rappers indicted on felony gun possession.

-Purchase copy of Guaranteed Pick-up Lines by Gilderoy Lockhart, memorize it cover to cover, and play the field.

-Call Professor McGonagall "Minerva," act as if nothing is wrong, and run away really fast. Repeat 15 times or at least until she spontaneously combusts.

-Stop responding to the name Dennis Creevey. Insist on being called Denís Creevay or something jiggy like that.

-Find out what "jiggy" means.

So, these are my goals. I hope I can reach them! I'll talk to you later, and you'll find out how much progress I've made.

Love,

Denís Creevay