The Romantic Exploits of Dennis Creevey
The
Romantic Exploits of Dennis Creevey
By Ziegod Lizski
Special thanks to Cornish Pixie for the suggestion.
Dear Diary,
Today I decided to make a change in my life—I'm going to trade in the
old Dennis Creevey for
a newer, shinier model, preferably one with gold hubcaps. And a pair of fuzzy
dice would me nice, too---Oh! And one of those pine air fresheners…I tend to
get a little stinky in the summertime. Anyway, I knew it was time for a new me
when my "I like myself" and "I'm a good listener" t-shirts developed
large holes. In order to achieve my new self, I have written some goals:
-By "playah" clothes—only wear stuff that has been worn by rappers
indicted on felony gun possession.
-Purchase copy of Guaranteed Pick-up Lines by Gilderoy Lockhart, memorize it cover to cover, and play the field.
-Call Professor McGonagall
"Minerva," act as if nothing is wrong, and run away really fast. Repeat 15
times or at least until she spontaneously combusts.
-Stop responding to the name Dennis Creevey. Insist on being called Denís
Creevay or something jiggy like that.
-Find out what "jiggy" means.
So, these are my goals. I hope I can reach them! I'll
talk to you later, and you'll find out how much progress I've made.
Love,
Denís
Creevay