[Lord Evilguy folded his arms and looked down at his general angrily.]

Evilguy: What do you mean we don't have sufficient forces to invade planet Earth?
Scottie: It seemed a good idea at the time, but the new American-Japanese cartoon alliance far outpowers our forces, sir.

[Suddenly smiling wickedly, Evilguy seemed to have come up with a new idea.]

Evilguy: Prepare me a dual-person transport equipped with the new suspended animation chambers and PBT cannons!
Scottie: What is the destination? You can't possibly be trying to conquer it by yourself...
Evilguy: Of course not, you incompetent fool! Set the destination for the planet Aiur!
Scottie: Yes, my Lord!

[Then Scottie, dismissed with a wave from Evilguy, walked down the hall, wondering what the hell his Lord could be thinking.]

Scottie: [thinking] We've never had a very good relationship with the Protoss, so why is he going to their planet? The Saiyajins on planet Vejiitasei would gladly have helped us.

[As his general walked away, Evilguy burst into evil laughter.]

Evilguy: Everyone will think that I'm seeking to ally with the Protoss, when I am actually seeking help from Helios! But who should I bring with me?

[Then he looked over some papers that lay on his black-painted desk. The papers were the stats that belong to his top generals.]

===============================================================
Scottie: 92,000,000 ki
Kakon: 230,000,000 ki
Xavian: 52,000,000 ki
NecromancyLord: 123,000,000 ki
ShurikenLord: 56,000,000 ki
WarLord: 410,000,000 ki
QuestionLord: 529,000,000 ki
===============================================================

Evilguy: [thinking] Scottie is a bit too weak and disobedient for this mission. QuestionLord has incredible power, but is too unpredictable. I think WarLord will be perfect for this job!
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Chapter 1- ULTIMATE EVIL SHOWS ITS FACE
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
[Evilguy punched a few digits into his computer and a file came up on his general, WarLord]
===============================================================
NAME: Warlord
KI: 410,000,000 (four hundred ten million)
HP: 19,200 (nineteen thousand two hundred)
ATTACK: 2000Dm avg.
===============================================================

[Evilguy pressed a button on his scouter, creating an intercom link to his troop dispatcher.]

Dispatcher: What is your command, Lord Evilguy?
Evilguy: I would like you to send me WarLord immediately.
Dispatcher: At once, Lord!

[Evilguy pressed the button again, cutting off the link. Then he sat back in his throne, waiting for WarLord to arrive.]

[A few seconds later the doors to his throne room burst open and his general came flying through, cape billowing behind him.]

WarLord: How may I serve you, Lord Evilguy? [bows down]
Evilguy: We're going on a little trip to the planet Aiur.
WarLord: [eyes widen in surprise] Need I remind you that we are currently in vendetta with the Protoss?
Evilguy: [angry] I'm not going there to ally with the Protoss!
WarLord: Then what other use do you have in going to that desolate planet?

[Evilguy stood up and rolled down a poster that was above his desk. The picture on it was of the powerful Professor Helios.]

WarLord: What does Helios have to do with going to the planet Aiur?
Evilguy: [smiling evilly] I just received reports from our intelligence agency that Helios is residing in the south desert area of Aiur, and that the executor is not aware that he is there.
WarLord: And you command me to go on this mission?
Evilguy: No, I'm sure that if you don't want to go that QuestionLord will gladly take your place.
WarLord: Of course I wish to go, but what if we get caught by the Protoss defensive forces on our way?
Evilguy: [failing to stifle a laugh] I ordered an elite class dual-person battleship to transport us. It's even equipped with the newest PBT cannon models.
WarLord: [smashes his fist into his palm] They'll never know what hit 'em!
Evilguy: I'll forgive you for quoting a Terran. Now just go and prepare yourself.
WarLord: Yes, sir. [salutes Evilguy and walks out of the room hastily]

[The ship stood before the main army building. It was quite massive for a mere dual-person craft, but it had to be to house a couple of the most powerful ki's in the known universe.]

Scottie: [presses a button on his scouter to open a link between himself and Lord Evilguy] Lord Evilguy, your craft has been prepared.
Evilguy: Good, you may report back to your bunk, general.

[Scottie pressed the button again. He was glad to be able to finish up a long day at work. His 'bunk' was more like a luxurious mansion, as were the housings of all the main generals, where he could have anything that he wanted. Some days he wanted food and wine, others he wanted to train, and sometimes he even wanted a woman. All were brought before him under the influence of Evilguy's power (even the women). As Scottie walked away, Evilguy warped in to inspect the craft that had been set up for him.]

Evilguy: The cannons look great, there seems to be plenty of room for food, but one thing is missing. [realises that there is no armor on the outside of the ship]

[Evilguy walked up to the head maintenance officer of building of the ship and grabbed him by the collar.]

Evilguy: Where the hell is the armor on this ship? Are you trying to get us killed?!?!
Maintenance Officer: [hurriedly] This ship utilizes the latest in technology and has an invisible shield system that simulates the equivalent of a 666 ki shield!
Evilguy: [releases Maintenance Officer] Very well. You may leave now.

[The Maintenance Officer stumbles away, shaken from the unpleasant experience after sharply saluting Evilguy.]

Evilguy: [evilly] Prepare yourselves, members of the American-Japanese cartoon alliance! Your doom is coming!!!

***

[Johnny and Eustace are sitting there, arguing about whether hair is important or not.]

Johnny: Chicks won't dig you unless you have nice hair!
Eustace: Lots of cool people are bald, you darn hippie!
Johnny: Name one!
Eustace: [counting names on his fingers] Mr. T, Bob the Beer Baron, Krillin, Nappa, Spopovich, the King of Spain...

Johnny: NOOOO!!! How could I have been so blind! Chicks dig Mr. T and he has no hair!
Hostiledude: Mr. T wasn't bald...
Eustace: (whispering) Shut up, I'm trying to make this boy cry!
Eustace: GYAHAHAHAHA!!!
Johnny: Wait... that laugh must mean that you... ate your hat this morning!
Eustace: [Pulls off his Eustace suit to reveal that he is Heideggar.]
Heideggar: GYAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Just then the Powerpuff Girls came by.]

Buttercup: I think I'm going to overthrow Vegeta! I deserve to be the leader of this Alliance!
Blossom: You probably shouldn't try that.
Bubbles: Yeah, you saw what happened to Tuddrussle. [cringes at the thought]

Heideggar: Would you fools shut up! I'm trying to make Johnny sad here!!!
Power Puff Girls: [Use their laser eyes and blast Heideggar to Hell.]
Johnny: [huddled up in the corner of the couch] Please no more, Mr.T!
Blossom: [shrugs] Let's go.

[The Powerpuff girls fly out of the room and into the Professor's lab, where the Professor is acting rather strange.]

Blossom: Professor, do you have our new powers ready for us yet?
Professor: Powers are not important!
Buttercup: What are you talking about?
Professor: I said powers are not important!
Blossom: Of course they're important!

Professor: [Pokes Blossom in the head.]
Blossom: Ouch! What was that for? [rubs her head]
Professor: You should not be here worrying about powers! You should be out finding talismans!!!

[The Powerpuff Girls fly out of the room to discuss the strange way that the Professor was acting.]

Bubbles: He must be possessed! [covers her mouth in horror]
Blossom: I think Bubbles is right. But who's ghost could possibly act like that?
Buttercup: I don't know! Can't we just smash something?

[Suddenly, Jackie Chan stumbles in, looking for something.]

Blossom: What are *you* doing here?
Buttercup: Yeah, you're not part of the Alliance.
Jackie: No time to talk! Must find spirit of Uncle! Have you girls seen any weird things happening lately? As in someone being possessed by a ghost that searches for talismans?

Powerpuff Girls: Nope, haven't seen him.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, they really *are* that stupid!

[Jackie wanders into the next room, where he sees Jackie Chun.]

Jackie: Hey! You copy my name!
Jackie: Not like it was copyrighted!
Jackie: Well.... you're just dirty old man!
Jackie: Damn straight! [continues reading the porno magazine that he was reading before Jackie Chan came in]

[A shout was carried through the mansion that was so loud that it nearly deafened everyone.]

Vegeta: KAKAROTT!!! YOU BASTARD!!! GET THE FUCK IN HERE!!!
Goku: [Walks in, fidgeting nervously.]
Vegeta: [barely holding in his temper] You used my hair gel!!!
Goku: No, I never! It was Johnny!

[Vegeta grits his teeth and flies at full speed to the room in which Johnny was sitting.]

Vegeta: Do you realize what you've done.
Johnny: [crying uncontrollably] I'm so sorry! I admit it! I was the indian from the Village People!!!
Vegeta: [looks at Johnny with disgust.] You, sir, disgust me!

[Then Vegeta blasts Johnny to another dimension along with half of the room they're in.]
[Cloud Strife, Zidane Tribal, and Squall Leonhart enter the room.]

Zidane: Was such violence necessary?
Vegeta: [growls] Didn't I kill you in the last fic?
Squall: Hostiledude brought us back so we could make this one more interesting!
Hostiledude: Damn straight!
Vegeta: Anyway, I'm at least going to kill Zidane because that faggot annoys me.
Hostiledude: Aye, go ahead!

[Vegeta punches Zidane in the chin so hard that his head flies off, spraying gore all over the room.]

Mysterious Voice: Squall, what are you doing in there?

[Serena walks in and stands next to Squall.]

Cloud: [slowly backing away from Squall] Is there something I should know about you?
Squall: [buries his face in his hands] While I was under Badman's spell last time, I accidentally went out and got married.... to *this*!!!
Vegeta: Sucks to be you!

[Then Krillin walks in and his eyes widen when he sees Serena with Squall.]

Krillin: I thought you said that you loved *me*! [slaughters Serena]
18: What???!!! I thought *you* loved *me*!!! [slaughters Krillin]
Squall: You know what this means??? [grins happily] I'm single again!!!

[Before Squall could rip off his clothes and run through the town naked, Vegeta incinerates him with a ki attack and destroys 18 as an afterthought.]
[Cloud runs out of the room before Vegeta could think of a reason to slay him.]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: There's a lot more bloodshed to come!!!

***
[Evilguy and WarLord are in the spaceship, zooming toward the Planet Aiur at about 128,000,000,000 kilometres per second.]
[Evilguy is in his quarters mostly eating and meditating so that he can maintain his power. WarLord seems to be centering on other things...]
[Evilguy is trying to meditate but keeps getting interrupted by a woman's screams of terror.]

Evilguy: [shouting] Would you keep it down in there? [opens the door to WarLord's quarters]

[Inside are WarLord, who's playing video games, and his slave, who was tied to the wall, screaming.]

Evilguy: Would you tell that wench to keep it down?
Slave: How dare you refer to me in such a manner?!
WarLord: She *is* the first crowned Princess of Jurai, you know.
Evilguy: [laughs] Why isn't your husband coming after you, weakling?! [sighs] Can't you at least gag your servants or something?
WarLord: Yes, my Lord. [bows]

***
[Outside the mansion, Ed and Eddy are sitting.]
Eddy: I'm bored...
Ed: Ketchup!
Eddy: [looking toward the sky] Hostiledude, can you please bring Edd back? We can't pull any scams without him!
Hostiledude: Happy Barmitzvuh! You wish has been granted.

[Edd suddenly appears in a flash of red light.]

Eddy: Double D, I've got a great idea! We need to make a casino!
Ed: Will you let chickens in?
Eddy: Shut up, lumpy!

[Back inside the house, the Professor is causing lots of trouble.]

Professor: And one more thing! [pokes Goku in the head]
Goku: Owww!!!
Professor: And one more thing! [pokes Goku in the head]
Goku: Owww!!!
Professor: And one more thing! [pokes Goku in the head]
Goku: Owww!!!
Professor: And one more thing! [pokes Goku in the head]
Goku: Owww!!!

[Vegeta walks in.]

Vegeta: Would you fools shut up? You're annoying the entire Alliance!

[Vegeta walks out and Jackie Chan walks in.]

Jackie: Uncle? Where are you?
Professor: And one more thing! [pokes Jackie in the head]
Jackie: I've been searching all over for you! Need to find rest of talismans!
Professor: Talismans are not important! [pokes Jackie in the head]
Jackie: Ouch!

[Jackie and the Professor both leave the house, where they find a casino they had never seen before.]
[The sign said 'Big Ed Casino! Chickens allowed!']

Professor: Let's go in!
Jackie: Gambling is not important! [pokes Professor in the head]
Professor: Ouch!
Hostiledude: Seems that Jackie pulled an Uncle! GYAHAHAHAHA!!!

***
[The spaceship containing Evilguy and WarLord landed, and the two evil warriors jumped out of the ship, WarLord carrying Princess Aeka.]

Evilguy: [looking around] Dammit! We've landed right in the middle of a Protoss-Zerg battle!
WarLord: Let's thrash these weaklings, Lord!
Evilguy: [grinning evilly] Aye!

[A carrier suddenly looms over them and dispatches its interceptors after confirming them as an enemy.]

Evilguy quickly looked over his scouter data on Protoss units.

===============================================================
unit 01- Zealot: 1,000,000 ki average
unit 02- Dragoon: 2,500,000 ki average
unit 03- Scout: 3,000,000 ki average
unit 04- High Templar: 6,000,000 ki average
unit 05- Arbiter: 4,000,000 ki average
unit 06- Reaver (armed): 8,000,000 ki average
unit 07- Carrier (armed): 10,000,000 ki average
unit 08- Archon: 15,000,000 ki average
===============================================================

[Before Evilguy could access the rest of his data on the Protoss, he had to dodge a pair of lasers shot at him from an interceptor.]

WarLord: Bastard!!! [Jumps into the air and slices an interceptor in half with his energy sword.]

[When the interceptors all came in at once for an attack against him, Evilguy set up a ki shield, and they were all smashed before they got anywhere near him.]
[A guardian swooped up above them and fired an Acid Spore at them.]
[Evilguy and WarLord both jumped away to dodge, and flew back toward the Guardian.]
[Their CrossSlash was successful and the Guardian fell to the ground in four pieces.]

Evilguy: This is too simple...
WarLord: Aye, you wanna destroy them all?
Evilguy: No time. Let's just find Helios.

[Then they proceeded to hack their way through hundreds of Zerglings to get away from the battle. Quite simple for them; Zerglings have an average ki of 300,000.]

[Then Evilguy isolated a signal on his scouter that matched that of Helios.

Evilguy: Good Lord!!!
WarLord: What's wrong?
Evilguy: That ki is incredible! Helios is stronger than both of us put together! He's even stronger than Bios was!
WarLord: [wide-eyed] No shit? That can't be!

Evilguy: Let's go. He's directly to the South.

[They both take off flying toward Helios.]

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
End of chapter note: (cheesy Italian music playing)

Will Evilguy find Helios? And if he does, will his power be as strong as was measured by Evilguy's scouter?
What will happen to Princess Aeka, and will Tenchi come along to rescue her?
Will Vegeta ever stop destroying people for no reason?
Will the Eds make any money off their casino?
Will the Powerpuff Girls ever find out that the Professor was possessed by the ghost of Uncle?
Will Master Roshi ever take off his Jackie Chun disguise?
Will Lord Therius ever stop biting his hand?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF 'THE CROSSOVER FROM HELL!!!'


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CHAPTER 2-

[Evilguy and WarLord finally end their flight at a small shack in the Aiur wastelands. Inside it is the subject of their search.]

Evilguy: WarLord, I want you to exercise extreme caution when in the presence of this guy, and please don't say anything.
WarLord: Yes, my Lord. I'll let you do all the talking.

[With that, Evilguy steps up to the shack and slowly opens the door.]

Evilguy: Helios, are you here?
Mysterious Voice: Evilguy?

[The source of the voice comes into focus and Evilguy realizes that it is indeed Helios, and his power is above 1,000,000,000 ki.]

Helios: So, what do you think of my energy? Training against the elite Protoss army has made me quite a bit more powerful!
Evilguy: I'll say...
Helios: So, Evilguy, who's your associate, here? [gestures toward the silent WarLord]

Evilguy: He's one of my Generals. The one that I chose for this mission.
Helios: [looking into his scouter] Nice. Over 400,000,000 ki. You choose you elite wisely, don't you?
Evilguy: Enough beating around the bush. I have a proposition for you.

Helios: [smiling] What is it, Evilguy?
Evilguy: I need your help in conquering the Earth!
Helios: But I thought that there powerful forces were too scattered to present any challenge to an organized army like yours.
Evilguy: Ah, but they have fixed that problem. After the attack by Dr. Forrester they have gathered anyone worth gathering and formed an alliance known as the American-Japanese Cartoon Alliance.

Helios: I will accompany you, but not in this form. Give me a minute.

[Helios goes back to his bedroom and pulls out a small metal container from under his matress.]

Helios: [thinking] This bionic suit should help me in case the going gets rough!

***
[Vegeta walked into the kitchen with one thought on his mind.]

Vegeta: [thinking] Must get Bulma to make me some food!!!
Vegeta: [entering the kitchen] Woman, I demmand that you get me some food!
Bulma: Okay. [Hands him a raw steak.] You can eat your dinner raw since you can't stand to wait!
Vegeta: Damn straight! [Starts eating the steak.]

[Heero Yuy comes in to get a beer.]

Vegeta: [swallows the last of his steak] I thought I blew you away in the last fic!!!
Hostiledude: I had to revive people because I was running out of characters for you to kill!
Heero: Damn straight! I'm alive again!
Vegeta: [rips off his head, puts it in the blender, and sets the blender to puree.]
Bulma: Goddammit, Vegeta! Now I have to clean up all the blood! Why don't you go and kill someone in the living room so ChiChi can clean it up!?

[Vegeta walks out, grumbling.]
[As he passes Cell, the android stops him to show him something important.]

Cell: There's a spaceship headed toward the Earth with three hostile beings in it.
Vegeta: Damn straight! I need a good battle!
Cell: No, you don't understand. Look at the power levels of those on the space ship.
Vegeta: [checks the power levels] Holy shit!
Cell: I don't know about you, but these are the power levels that I came up with. [hands Vegeta a printout with the names and power levels]
===============================================================
WarLord- 415,000,000 ki
Evilguy- 750,000,000 ki
Helios- 1,235,000,000
===============================================================

Vegeta: Who is this Helios? You can't possibly mean...
Cell: Yes, the legend must be true.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
The Legend of Helios

There was once a mad Professor. He created many types of small illegal things before the Galaxy Police locked him up in juvenile hall. When he grew to an adult, however, he was let out, and he swore revenge upon the entire galaxy! That was when he created the most dangerous race ever thought up--- the Wraiths. The Wraiths obliterated the Galaxy Police effortlessly, but then moved on to other galaxies, where stronger fighters immediately killed them. After this, Helios learned from his mistake and decided that it would be much more efficient if he created a single, obediant being that had the power of an entire race. Ten years later, he created Bios. The vile creature was not obediant, though, and bashed Helios, leaving by itself to conquer the other galaxies of the universe. Then Helios retired, bitter and defeated, only interested in raising his own power. It's said that some day he'll emerge, more powerful than the creatures that he created and wreak havoc on the entire universe.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Cell: Thank you, Hostiledude; your story was quite enlightening...
Hostiledude: Not to mention space-consuming!
Vegeta: Anyway, we'd better gather our forces! This will be a battle to remember!
Hostiledude: Damn straight!!!

***
[Helios is just getting into the spacecraft first when a familiar voice is heard.]
Tenchi: Princess Aeka! I'll save you!
Evilguy: [laughs] If you want my general's wench, you'll have to challenge him for her!
Warlord: Yeah! Let's see what you've got, you scrawny weakling!

[Tenchi dashes forward, wielding the Tenchi. He swings at the Demon General, but misses by about a mile, as a Powerful limb from his right side clotheslines him.]

Tenchi: [hardly able to speak through his swollen throat] What are you?
Evilguy: [gesturing toward Tenchi] Helios, go ahead and kill him.
Helios: It'd be my pleasure, Evilguy!

[Helios blasts a powerful fire attack that incinerates Tenchi, and then eliminates Aeka in the same fashion.]

Evilguy: Shall we be going now?
Helios: [looking up] Wait! What's that?

[Suddenly Terran, Protoss, Zerg, and Wraith units were dropped out of the sky and engaged in a massive battle.]

Evilguy: Better access my record on these units... [presses a button on his scouter]

===============================================================
Zergling-
Hydralisk-
Ultralisk
Guardian
Mutalisk
Drone
Scourge
SCV
Marine
Firebat
Ghost
Wraith (terran)-
Battlecruiser
SiegeTank
Goliath
===============================================================

[Evilguy drew a Dark Scimitar and slashed up about 39 assorted infantry units with one mighty slice.]
[Warlord charged up a massive fireball, and threw it into the sky, where it exploded, wiping out approximately 87 units.]

Helios: That's child's play!
Evilguy: [sarcastic] Then show us *your* power, oh mighty one.

[Helios charged up energy and blasted it out in all directions. Units were destroyed within about a mile radius, which would have been about 12,000 of them! A few injured Protoss (the ones with good shields) staggered off the battle field in a pathetic attempt to keep their lives.]

Evilguy: Let's just go.

[They all piled into the space ship, and it took off, engines flaring to life.]
***
[At the mansion, everyone was lined up against a wall except for Vegeta and Cell.]

Vegeta: Now, some of the more talented of you may have sensed that there is a great evil on its way to our planet.
Trunks: Damn straight!
Vegeta: Shut up, boy!
Cell: Anyway, we want all of you that have considerable strength to begin training, and perhaps purchase some new weapons and armor.

[Jackie Chan raises his hand and Vegeta points at him.]

Jackie: Do I still have to be here? If I don't hurry up, the Dark Hand will get the rest of the talismans!
Cell: Don't be foolish! Even if you aren't part of the American-Japanese Cartoon Alliance, we need all the help we can get at this time.
Jackie: Bad day.

[A headless Heero Yuy staggers into the room, and starts pointing at Vegeta, as if to laugh at him.]
[Vegeta blasts him, and his body is disintegrated.]
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Chapter 2- NO NEED FOR TRAINING
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[Ryoko is outside, training to become stronger, so that she may help neutralize the invaders that threatened the entire planet.]

Ryoko: [thinking] Where could Tenchi be? I lost my telepathic link to him a few hours ago... First Princess Aeka, and now Tenchi! I wish somebody would tell me what's going on.
***
[Goku was in the hyperbolic time chamber with Gohan, the two exploiting their last day that they could enter it in order to surpass Vegeta.]

[Goku dodged a volley of punches from his son, and phased out of the way of a ki blast.]

Goku: You'll have to be faster than that, Gohan!
Gohan: I'll get you!

[Gohan fires a massive Kamehameha wave blast, but just barely misses his father.]

Goku: You're far too slow! You can't even get near me!
Gohan: [warps in behind Goku] Oh yeah?

[Gohan punches Goku, rendering the unsuspecting Super Saiyajin unconscious.]
***
[Vegeta and Cell were playing a game of modified chess. The rules were the same, for the most part, but the pieces had certain power, so that the two leaders would be better at leading their armies into victory.]
***
[Inside the 'Big Ed Casino' were the Eds and Batman. Batman seemed to be handing over the deed to his mansion.]

Batman: I tell you, this casino is rigged!
Eddy: What does that matter? We've got enough money to buy thousands of jawbreakers!
Edd: Aren't we supposed to be training?
Eddy: Nah! Hostiledude decided that we could provide comic relief for this fic.
Hostiledude: Damn straight!
Ed: My favorite jawbreaker is a cat's tuxedo!
All: Shut up, Ed!
***
[At a giant computer within the bowels of Hell sat me (Hostiledude), practicing my lacking typing skills so that I may make the upcoming battle sound more interesting.]
***
[Inside their spaceship, Evilguy was doing some training of his own.]