Disclaimer: X doesn't belong to me, they belong to the Fab Four, CLAMP and some other people.
Warnings: Uhm, I've taken the liberty of inserting a part of X vol. 14 here, so if you haven't read that, you might be spoiled. So, the best thing to do is to get a copy first, then read this.
Other blabs: This is taken from Subaru's POV on the last chapter, people. It was kind of hard to write, but hey, I'm proud to say I did it! Yes, yes, I know. I'm inconsistent. What're you gonna do about that?
Tears of the Moon 5: Subaru's POV
reia shiioru
Nothing is lost on him who sees
With an eye that feeling gave;
For him there's a story in every breeze
And a picture in every wave
-Thomas Moore, Boat Glee
~*~*~*~
/Let me forget... all of the hate... all of the sorrow.../
/Demo daiji na no wa "Ima soba ni iru... kimi no RIARU"/
~*~*~*~
I felt something stir in Kamui's room, so I stood up from my chair and set my book aside. Two other of my comrades must have noticed it too, for they stood up from their table in the large library. Sometimes I dislike having to be in the Imonoyama Mansion. Moving from one place to another often meant having to walk long ways. I rushed to Kamui's room; Kishuu-san and Arisugawa-kun followed close behind. He must be having another nightmare again. Since Arisugawa-kun brought him back from one of his recent interactions with the other 'Kamui', he'd been unconscious, dreaming for days. Sometimes, I found him whimpering in his dream, calling out for someone. That's why I volunteered to watch him these few days. But then, there was something else...
I opened the door to Kamui's room. I sighed, I am glad to see that Kamui is awake now. He is staring at the window. He must have heard us enter his room, and turned to face us. His expression went from calm to something between being afraid and being confused.
"Yo, Kamui! It's good to see you awake now," Arisugawa-kun said. "We were getting kinda worried that you wouldn't ever wake up."
I walk up to him, sensing that he didn't feel well. "Are you feeling well, Kamui?" I ask, reaching to feel if he had a fever.
He pushed my hand away, something he did that expressed he was... angry? I felt Arisugawa-kun and Kishuu-san tense behind me. They must be thinking why Kamui did what he did; normally he would let me touch him. "I'm fine," Kamui said. But I felt that he wanted to say more. There was definitely something wrong. It was then that Kamui started to sway, then started to scream. He was in pain again. I rush beside him and hold him in my arms. He was shaking now. "Go get the nurses!" I yell at Arisugawa-kun and Kishuu-san who followed immediately. They ran out of the door and down the stairs. /Kamui... don't make me worried,/ I thought. "...Why..." I heard him whisper. Kamui has closed his eyes now, but he still hadn't stopped shaking. I held him closer. At that time, somehow, I felt scared. Scared that I might lose something important to me. Then, memories of almost a decade ago started coming back. /Hokuto-chan.../
~*~*~*~
Later that day, a few of us Seals gathered at the Imonoyama Mansion's rather large living room. They were discussing Kamui's rather weird behavior over tarts and tea. I just kept silent, kept my comments to myself. /Maybe he's just stressed,/ I said to myself. I didn't realize that I had said that aloud until I felt them gazing at me in some peculiar manner. "Considering he *is* Kamui, he must be in some...emotional stress of sorts."
"But aren't you worried, Subaru-san? I mean, you are after all the person who-," that was Nekoi Yuzuriha.
"It is not my fault to whether Kamui is stressed or if he has any grudges against me," I said. Funny, I sounded like Seishirou-san that time. I looked away from them and whispered to myself, "Besides, I'm not in a position to decide how Kamui's supposed to feel." Which was true. I cannot, and would not for that matter, control the way he feels, the way he thinks and the way he acts. Those are only unique to Kamui himself. I promised myself not to become someone like Seishirou-san. I wouldn't hurt anyone nor treat him or her like something that can be thrown aside easily. Now I've depressed myself, so turned from the wall where I leaned and walked toward the door. "I should be going," I told them. When I finally closed the door behind me, I felt so much like a jerk. I mentally kicked myself for that.
"Kamui..." I absently whispered. "What's wrong?" Softly, I sighed, hoping that somehow, Kamui could hear me. Slowly, I made my way to my room.
Everything started to confuse me. Was this another illusion of the Sakurazukamori? The Sakurazukamori... the nemesis of an onmyouji. Seishirou-san...
Seishirou-san, sometimes I wonder if there was something I could do to set you free. I... all these years of searching, and it ends up in a more important battle to save humanity. All these years of searching and I end up back where we started. Hopeless, no window of opportunity, not even a single stray beam of light. Is everything a game to you, Seishirou-san?
I fumble with the doorknob and enter the room. Then I realized that I entered the wrong room. This was Kamui's. The nurse had put a sedative in his system, calming him down, relieving him of his pain. But nothing could take away the pain in his heart. Like me, he had lost many important people in his life. Those he cared for... Someone so close to him died because of someone he loved, just like me. Yuzuriha was right when she said that he and I were alike. Not just the face, she added. Did we, really? Kamui moaned and curled up, kicking his blanket off the bed. I picked it up and made sure he was comfortable in his sleep. "Oyasumi," I whispered. I hadn't realized that I was caressing Kamui's face. I had sat down beside him. What had he told me before? He wanted to protect that special someone he cared for. I smile. I understand how he feels. To protect that 'special someone' even if it would cost your own happiness, your freedom, yourself. Just to do that is a great sacrifice.
Kamui, you are too young; too young to handle such great responsibility as to saving humanity. Fate... is so cruel to have chosen you.
~*~*~*~
"Is he still asleep?"
"Hai, Subaru-san's been watching him."
"Su-- Subaru... san?"
"Un!"
"But I thought..."
"No, even though he knows that Kamui somehow changed, he still watches over him."
"But I..."
"Admit it. I think they're cute together, too."
"E-eh?"
"A-hahahahaha! Honto deswa!"
"What are you talking about? If Subaru hears you---!"
That was the conversation I heard from the other room. Too late, I've been listening. I was looking out the window when the conversation started. Sometimes it annoys me that I have Arisugawa-kun and Yuzuriha as my comrades. Fate... you're too cruel.
Two days... it's been two days since /that/ day. I've been watching over Kamui, yes that's true. Kamui hasn't changed. He's just asserting himself. Last night, I heard him talk in his sleep. I hope that he'd be waking up soon. We can't afford to lose another kekkai to the Chi no Ryuu.
I had my hand clasped to Kamui's. An action he had done when I was in the hospital after that incident. Kamui had cried a lot and blamed himself. He should stop doing that. Feeling guilty about something he didn't do made his emotional wounds get even worse. "Kamui, please wake up..." I say to the sleeping form. I just look at him, wishing...hoping...
As if he heard my small plea, Kamui stirred and slowly opened his eyes.
"Thank goodness..." I sighed. I tightened my grip on his hand. I just wish he didn't remember. I just hope that...
"Subaru..." Kamui whispered softly. There was something in that voice. Something different from his usual tone. I just can't figure out what... Kamui tried to sit up, but...
"You're still not well enough," I tell him, he shifted his position to look at me. I can feel that he's anxious. "Have...I been here long?" He asked me. Ah, so you don't remember what happened... Good. But then, somehow, I felt guilty. "You had been unconscious ever since Arisugawa-kun brought you here," I told him calmly, hiding almost nothing.
"How are Sorata and Arashi?"
"They're both fine. They weren't injured."
We both indulged in a conversation, something to hold on to as a memory. To Kamui, I must have been some kind of 'savior', it seems. For me, Kamui is... a special friend.
owari
~*~*~*~
A/N
So this one's short. But I think it's cute. Though, it's hard to put yourself in Subaru's shoes... -,-;
For other notes, see my a/n on the 'real' chapter five.
*reia-chan starts singing forever love*
Warnings: Uhm, I've taken the liberty of inserting a part of X vol. 14 here, so if you haven't read that, you might be spoiled. So, the best thing to do is to get a copy first, then read this.
Other blabs: This is taken from Subaru's POV on the last chapter, people. It was kind of hard to write, but hey, I'm proud to say I did it! Yes, yes, I know. I'm inconsistent. What're you gonna do about that?
Tears of the Moon 5: Subaru's POV
reia shiioru
Nothing is lost on him who sees
With an eye that feeling gave;
For him there's a story in every breeze
And a picture in every wave
-Thomas Moore, Boat Glee
~*~*~*~
/Let me forget... all of the hate... all of the sorrow.../
/Demo daiji na no wa "Ima soba ni iru... kimi no RIARU"/
~*~*~*~
I felt something stir in Kamui's room, so I stood up from my chair and set my book aside. Two other of my comrades must have noticed it too, for they stood up from their table in the large library. Sometimes I dislike having to be in the Imonoyama Mansion. Moving from one place to another often meant having to walk long ways. I rushed to Kamui's room; Kishuu-san and Arisugawa-kun followed close behind. He must be having another nightmare again. Since Arisugawa-kun brought him back from one of his recent interactions with the other 'Kamui', he'd been unconscious, dreaming for days. Sometimes, I found him whimpering in his dream, calling out for someone. That's why I volunteered to watch him these few days. But then, there was something else...
I opened the door to Kamui's room. I sighed, I am glad to see that Kamui is awake now. He is staring at the window. He must have heard us enter his room, and turned to face us. His expression went from calm to something between being afraid and being confused.
"Yo, Kamui! It's good to see you awake now," Arisugawa-kun said. "We were getting kinda worried that you wouldn't ever wake up."
I walk up to him, sensing that he didn't feel well. "Are you feeling well, Kamui?" I ask, reaching to feel if he had a fever.
He pushed my hand away, something he did that expressed he was... angry? I felt Arisugawa-kun and Kishuu-san tense behind me. They must be thinking why Kamui did what he did; normally he would let me touch him. "I'm fine," Kamui said. But I felt that he wanted to say more. There was definitely something wrong. It was then that Kamui started to sway, then started to scream. He was in pain again. I rush beside him and hold him in my arms. He was shaking now. "Go get the nurses!" I yell at Arisugawa-kun and Kishuu-san who followed immediately. They ran out of the door and down the stairs. /Kamui... don't make me worried,/ I thought. "...Why..." I heard him whisper. Kamui has closed his eyes now, but he still hadn't stopped shaking. I held him closer. At that time, somehow, I felt scared. Scared that I might lose something important to me. Then, memories of almost a decade ago started coming back. /Hokuto-chan.../
~*~*~*~
Later that day, a few of us Seals gathered at the Imonoyama Mansion's rather large living room. They were discussing Kamui's rather weird behavior over tarts and tea. I just kept silent, kept my comments to myself. /Maybe he's just stressed,/ I said to myself. I didn't realize that I had said that aloud until I felt them gazing at me in some peculiar manner. "Considering he *is* Kamui, he must be in some...emotional stress of sorts."
"But aren't you worried, Subaru-san? I mean, you are after all the person who-," that was Nekoi Yuzuriha.
"It is not my fault to whether Kamui is stressed or if he has any grudges against me," I said. Funny, I sounded like Seishirou-san that time. I looked away from them and whispered to myself, "Besides, I'm not in a position to decide how Kamui's supposed to feel." Which was true. I cannot, and would not for that matter, control the way he feels, the way he thinks and the way he acts. Those are only unique to Kamui himself. I promised myself not to become someone like Seishirou-san. I wouldn't hurt anyone nor treat him or her like something that can be thrown aside easily. Now I've depressed myself, so turned from the wall where I leaned and walked toward the door. "I should be going," I told them. When I finally closed the door behind me, I felt so much like a jerk. I mentally kicked myself for that.
"Kamui..." I absently whispered. "What's wrong?" Softly, I sighed, hoping that somehow, Kamui could hear me. Slowly, I made my way to my room.
Everything started to confuse me. Was this another illusion of the Sakurazukamori? The Sakurazukamori... the nemesis of an onmyouji. Seishirou-san...
Seishirou-san, sometimes I wonder if there was something I could do to set you free. I... all these years of searching, and it ends up in a more important battle to save humanity. All these years of searching and I end up back where we started. Hopeless, no window of opportunity, not even a single stray beam of light. Is everything a game to you, Seishirou-san?
I fumble with the doorknob and enter the room. Then I realized that I entered the wrong room. This was Kamui's. The nurse had put a sedative in his system, calming him down, relieving him of his pain. But nothing could take away the pain in his heart. Like me, he had lost many important people in his life. Those he cared for... Someone so close to him died because of someone he loved, just like me. Yuzuriha was right when she said that he and I were alike. Not just the face, she added. Did we, really? Kamui moaned and curled up, kicking his blanket off the bed. I picked it up and made sure he was comfortable in his sleep. "Oyasumi," I whispered. I hadn't realized that I was caressing Kamui's face. I had sat down beside him. What had he told me before? He wanted to protect that special someone he cared for. I smile. I understand how he feels. To protect that 'special someone' even if it would cost your own happiness, your freedom, yourself. Just to do that is a great sacrifice.
Kamui, you are too young; too young to handle such great responsibility as to saving humanity. Fate... is so cruel to have chosen you.
~*~*~*~
"Is he still asleep?"
"Hai, Subaru-san's been watching him."
"Su-- Subaru... san?"
"Un!"
"But I thought..."
"No, even though he knows that Kamui somehow changed, he still watches over him."
"But I..."
"Admit it. I think they're cute together, too."
"E-eh?"
"A-hahahahaha! Honto deswa!"
"What are you talking about? If Subaru hears you---!"
That was the conversation I heard from the other room. Too late, I've been listening. I was looking out the window when the conversation started. Sometimes it annoys me that I have Arisugawa-kun and Yuzuriha as my comrades. Fate... you're too cruel.
Two days... it's been two days since /that/ day. I've been watching over Kamui, yes that's true. Kamui hasn't changed. He's just asserting himself. Last night, I heard him talk in his sleep. I hope that he'd be waking up soon. We can't afford to lose another kekkai to the Chi no Ryuu.
I had my hand clasped to Kamui's. An action he had done when I was in the hospital after that incident. Kamui had cried a lot and blamed himself. He should stop doing that. Feeling guilty about something he didn't do made his emotional wounds get even worse. "Kamui, please wake up..." I say to the sleeping form. I just look at him, wishing...hoping...
As if he heard my small plea, Kamui stirred and slowly opened his eyes.
"Thank goodness..." I sighed. I tightened my grip on his hand. I just wish he didn't remember. I just hope that...
"Subaru..." Kamui whispered softly. There was something in that voice. Something different from his usual tone. I just can't figure out what... Kamui tried to sit up, but...
"You're still not well enough," I tell him, he shifted his position to look at me. I can feel that he's anxious. "Have...I been here long?" He asked me. Ah, so you don't remember what happened... Good. But then, somehow, I felt guilty. "You had been unconscious ever since Arisugawa-kun brought you here," I told him calmly, hiding almost nothing.
"How are Sorata and Arashi?"
"They're both fine. They weren't injured."
We both indulged in a conversation, something to hold on to as a memory. To Kamui, I must have been some kind of 'savior', it seems. For me, Kamui is... a special friend.
owari
~*~*~*~
A/N
So this one's short. But I think it's cute. Though, it's hard to put yourself in Subaru's shoes... -,-;
For other notes, see my a/n on the 'real' chapter five.
*reia-chan starts singing forever love*
