Wings of Desire
By Maria Szabo
Disclaimer: X belongs to CLAMP, its publishers and distributors. This is a work of fanfiction and no profit is being made save that of enjoyment.
Pt. 1
On the first day
When the World Changed
We began our Journey…
"The Future is not yet decided."
It was the silence, he thought, that was driving him mad.
Kakyou Kuzuki sat upon the edge of his dream and watched as the world ended yet again. Buildings shattered, mountains tumbled and the seas came rushing over the land in a tumultuous rage, all as quiet as a whisper. That was the way of his dreams. Even words that were spoken and understood were utterly and completely silent.
"The Future is not yet decided."
It had been eight years since he had last heard a human voice, and it had been his own, screaming his lover's name as he tried to run from his gilded cage in the vain attempt to change that which could not be altered. Her name was still on his lips as the gunshots roared and he fell, entering his perpetual sleep. His world since that time had been engulfed in silence.
"The Future is not yet decided."
From that day forth, he had lived in a state of dreaming, his broken body maintained, but never healed, by those who used his dreams for power. A comatose dreamwalker, they reasoned, was even better than the blind, deaf and dumb one that was maintained by the government. Kakyou could, and did, communicate through his employers' dreams and told them precisely what they needed to know. The thought had occurred to him that with proper medical attention, he could be physically revived, but after HER death, there really was no point.
That was, until Kamui returned.
"The Future is not yet decided."
He had watched in bemusement as the boy stumbled through his destiny, his desperate attempts to save the ones he loved dooming them instead. Kakyou thought that he had long ago exhausted his pity and was surprised to find that it still held a place in his heart when a certain golden-haired angel had fallen to the cruel hands of fate. He had known that Kotori would not live, yet somehow, her death had reopened a place in his heart he believed long dead.
"The Future is not yet decided."
The dying girl's words had tormented him. The future WAS decided. It had to be. If it wasn't, then all that he was, all that he did, was a lie. And Hokuto-chan might have lived, had he told her, had he warned her, had he begged her not to seek out the Guardian of the Sakura Barrow and submit to his bloody embrace. Kotori was wrong. She had to be.
"The Future is not yet decided."
He'd taken his place amongst the Dragons of Earth because he'd had no choice in the matter. He had seen it, it was his destiny. And KAMUI, He Who Hunts the Majesty of God, would trample the earth beneath his feet, destroying all that lived within, and would finally allow Kakyou the freedom of death.
"The Future is not yet decided."
The dreamscape grew dark and the lonely blue earth appeared. And suddenly Tokyo was before him, beautiful and squalid, appalling and appealing, wonderful and terrible all at once. And from the earth came seven great dragons, dark as night. And from the heavens came seven great dragons, bright as day. And on that post-modern monstrosity that was Tokyo Tower stood young Kamui, sword in hand, facing off his mirror image, steel singing as they clashed. And the dragons of Heaven and Earth faced each other and did battle, one to one, or one to many, or many to many, in an intricate dance of death.
"The Future is not yet decided."
Then came a dark dragon of Earth and it approached one of the bright dragons of Heaven and twined its neck about the other, grasping it in its claws. And as the world crumbled beneath them and heaven and earth battled around them, so did these dragons mate, passionately, ferociously, desperately. And so the vision ended.
"The Future is not yet decided."
Her words haunted him. Was there a chance that she was right? And did he care if there was? Wasn't death what he wanted? He turned back to the dreamscape, this time beholding a festival, bright and gaudy and full of life. The Assassin and the Onmyouji held each other in an embrace of love and hate, desire and despair. The Watermaster watched the Firemistress with hot eyes while she ignored him with cool disdain. The Green Man wrapped the Lady of the Beasts in his strong arms as they lay back on the earth and watched the skies.
"The Future is not yet decided."
Kamui had been warned. Both of them. That's all he needed to do. That's all that he was supposed to do. And yet…and yet…was there more? If he interfered…if he dared…
"The Future is not yet decided."
He saw Kotori smiling down at him, her eyes gentle and without blame as she drifted into death. A wave of darkness swept over the dreamscape enveloping him and in the silence, he heard Hokuto's sweet voice once more.
"You don't want to stay here? Oh, that's simple. Let's go. Leave this place and go outside."
Her laughter danced in his ears. "All you have to do is wake up."
"I'm hooooome!" Yuzuriha Nekoi opened the door of the Imonoyama mansion and let Inuki run past her. The little inugami dashed in, trotting quickly down the hall. "Hello?"
"In here."
The soft voice belonged to Subaru Sumeragi and sounded like it came from the living room. She took off her shoes and followed Inuki. "Subaru-san?"
He was sitting on the couch, legs stretched out, smoking a cigarette and watching a nature documentary on the television. He looked up at her as she came into the room. "Class over, huh?"
"Yes!" she eased her backpack off her shoulders. "I had cleaning duty today…but where is everybody?"
"Arisugawa-kun and Arashi-san went off with the Chairman—he wanted to show them his latest data on the attacks by the Dragons of Earth."
"He's found something?"
Subaru shrugged. "He's not sure. That's why he wanted their input."
But not hers. She was still too young. It hurt a little. "And Kamui's with them?"
"No. I think he was going to visit Segawa-kun this afternoon, wasn't he?"
"Oh! That's right!" Keiichi Segawa was a classmate of Kamui's. He occasionally came around to visit. Yuzuriha liked him—he was cute and funny and always had a smile on his face. "But…Kamui and I were supposed to be cooking tonight, weren't we?"
"I think so." Subaru's attention was glued to the screen. "If he doesn't show up soon, I'll help."
"What are you watching, anyway?"
He blinked his good eye. "Oh, it's about animals. They're doing foxes today."
She watched for a moment. A fox was stalking a rabbit in a winter landscape that looked like Hokkaido, accompanied by a narration about vulpine feeding habits. "You like foxes, Subaru-san?"
"I rescued one once, when I was a boy. It was wounded and had wandered into our family compound. I found it and tried to help it." A rare smile crossed his face. "My grandmother was furious when she found out. She was afraid it might be a shapeshifter, you know."
"My grandmother said a shapeshifter once came to Mitsumine, when she was a girl, right after the war."
"Really? What happened to it?"
Yuzuriha made a wry face. "The dogs." She patted Inuki absently. "It didn't stand a chance."
"Well, they are dangerous. I've had to deal with a few."
"And the fox you rescued?"
"It was just a fox. It healed up and decided to live on the grounds. Hokuto even made a little torii by its den."
"Hokuto?" she asked.
"My sister."
"I didn't know you had a sister, Subaru-san."
"I didn't know you had a boyfriend." His gaze was ironic.
So Sorata and Arashi had told the others. She blushed. "Well…I…he….it was just…"
Again, he smiled, and she realized that he had been teasing her, in his quiet way. "It's okay, Yuzuriha-chan. Pretty girls should have boyfriends. Just be careful that he's not a fox, okay?"
"I will." She knew she was bright red and decided to turn the tables back on him. "Why have you never mentioned your sister?"
His smile vanished. "She died a long time ago."
"Oh! I'm sorry…what happened to her?"
An odd look went over his face and then Subaru turned his attention back to the tv with no reply. A quick movement and the rabbit was finally snared. With its jaws tightly gripping its prey, the fox retreated back to its den, leaving a trail of bloodstained tracks in the snow.
Yuzuriha shivered as she went upstairs to her room and, tossing down her backpack, flopped down on the bed. Subaru-san was very nice, but he could be so strange sometimes! Or maybe it was just her. She had been out of sorts all day.
It had been so hard concentrating at school! All she could think about was Kusanagi-san and how nice it had been last night curled up with him watching the fireworks. She leaned back and idly ran her fingers across her lips, remember the touch of his mouth on hers. It had been her first kiss, although really she had kissed him first. He didn't seem to mind, though, and his response had made her feel…she sighed. That's why she couldn't think.
She hadn't known what to expect. He'd felt warm and hard and his skin was a little scratchy, although he kept himself clean-shaven. He had tasted slightly of salt and mint, and his scent reminded her of pine needles. When he touched her, holding her hand or stroking her hair, she'd felt all quivery inside. But when he had kissed her, the butterflies in her stomach changed to something else, and she had found herself pressing closer to him, as if she couldn't get enough of his scent, his taste, his feel.
He had stopped and set her away before things got very far. She really didn't want to stop, at least she thought she didn't, but then he looked at her and for a moment, his eyes were like Inuki's. She rolled back on her stomach and covered her face with her hands. It scared her. She knew she was in love with Kusanagi-san, and she knew he liked her, but the look in his eyes last night made her suddenly feel like she was caught in a whirlwind. She wondered if he had felt the same thing.
At the end of the evening, when she'd walked him to the entrance of the campus, she had bid him good night. He bent down and kissed her again, sweetly at first, then almost roughly. He pulled away and smoothed his hand over her hair in that familiar way of his, staring at her with those feral eyes.
"Ah, Missy," he had whispered, "what have you done?"
And then he smiled at her and said good night, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking away, leaving her to wonder what he was talking about. She hadn't done anything.
Inuki whined a little and nuzzled her. She petted him absently. He gave a sharp bark, and she laughed at him.
"You're right," she agreed, "I need to stop thinking about it, or else no one will have any dinner tonight! Let's get started, shall we?" She pushed herself off the bed, and headed down towards the kitchen, hoping that activity might ease her restlessness. "What do you think, Inuki? Should we have beef bowls or spaghetti tonight?"
Inuki wagged his tail approvingly and followed her out of the room.
To be continued in part 2
