Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;
In case you forgot or skipped part 3:
He sat down on the bed next to her and gently
stroked her hair. The towel was now warm, so
he removed it. Usagi's eyes fluttered. He could
barely see her in the darkness. She opened them
a little, but then closed them again.
"Tetsu? Is that you?" she whispered hopefully.
Mamoru opened his mouth to say "no", but a part
of him made him say "yes". Usagi started to breath
slower and deeper. She smiled a little.
----
And To Change, Is It Good?
By Artemis
----
Part 4 - There's Always More Than One Way
Usagi sat up feeling groggy, but much better than before. She sat up
and found herself wearing Mamoru's shirt. It hung loosely on her small
body. She realised she was in his room. Her eyes slid over to the book
shelf. The crimson coloured book beckoned her once more. Her heart beat
nervously as she walked closer and closer to the shelf. She couldn't
read it.. It was his.. Not hers to read. And she still hadn't told him
that she had even read it. She stood there staring at the spine with
elaborate gold writing. Then suddenly, the door opened slowly and Usagi
snapped her head in that direction. Mamoru was doing up his tie and
with a piece of toast in his mouth. She stared at him. He avoided looking
at her.
"Mamoru san..." she murmured.
She was too nervous and scared to move. Twice now, he had found her near
that book. But he hadn't noticed this time. Usagi knew she had to tell him
that she had read it, but she couldn't bring up the courage.
"Sleep well?" he asked as he took the toast out of his mouth.
He took a bite from his toast and Usagi watched the crumbs falling onto the
carpet near his feet. She nodded slowly in reply.
"That's good. You were asleep for three days you know."
Usagi didn't really quite register that fact. Mamoru wondered why she
looked so torn. He continued eating his toast.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
Usagi shook her head. Mamoru then saw his watch on the bedside table.
He walked over and took it. When he walked back to the door, Usagi was still
looking like she wanted to say something.
"What?" he asked, then finished eating his toast.
Usagi looked at him nervously. She looked like she was going to cry. Mamoru
sighed. Why did she always look like she was going to cry? It made him feel
guilty as if he had done something to make her look like that.
"I have to get to work," he told her, then started to walk out of the door.
"Wait!" Usagi called him back, running over to him and grabbing his arm.
Mamoru turned and looked at her, puzzled. She started sobbing quietly.
Her thin fingers clutched his arm tighter and tighter.
"Was it something I said?" he asked curiously.
She shook her head and kept her head lowered. Usagi bit her lip and tried
to stop the tears from falling. She felt Mamoru's hand gently stroking her
hair to comfort her. He looked at her and wondered what was wrong.
"I'm sorry..." she murmured between sobs. "I'm sorry... I'm... so.. rry.."
"About what?"
Mamoru gave her time to reply. And she finally let go of his arm to wipe
away her tears.
"I read your book.. I lied.... I'm sorry.." she whispered, almost choking
on her own words.
He stared at her, surprised. She was crying because she had read his book?
That was it? For a second he felt angry that she had read it, but he didn't
stay angry for long.
"You didn't have to cry," he murmured, then squeezed her nose.
Usagi looked at him, startled. She rubbed her nose.
"Aren't you mad at me? Wasn't that book something personal?" she asked.
He just smiled. "It's all right. Obviously you read it the right way."
His comforting smile made her smile back. There was a silence between
them as Usagi rubbed her eyes with her sleeve.
"Anyway, I have to get to work," he told her, then turned around to leave.
She followed him out of the door. Mamoru grabbed his bag, keys and phone
from the table. Usagi watched as he opened the front door.
"Um... Mamoru san?" she called out to him just before he closed the door.
He turned around. "Hm?"
"I... I thought it was beautiful.." she smiled.
For a second, Mamoru didn't know what she meant, but then realised.
He paused and thought about what he should say in reply.
"Then I'm glad you read it."
Mamoru closed the door and left, feeling a little dizzy from all the
emotion. He wasn't good with dealing with it, let alone first thing in
the morning. But she made him smile. She made him feel glad that she had
been the one to read it.
During the drive to the office, Mamoru got caught in traffic once more.
He stared out at the busy freeway scenery and found himself deep in
thought. It had even been a while since Mamoru had written in that book.
The book of dreams. His dreams. Dreams of her. Ten years ago, he had
stopped writing because she had stopped appearing in his dreams. The girl,
the princess. He tried to concentrate on the road as a blaring horn snapped
him out of his thoughts. The lights were green. Mamoru sped forward, then
was suddenly stopped by some workers on the road. He groaned. He drummed
his fingers impatiently on the wheel. And as he emptied his mind, thoughts
of her returned. Mamoru had never been in love for the thirty years he had
lived. Never ever. Not once. Maybe it had been because he never really let
anybody care about him. But the princess from his dreams. She was different.
If Mamoru had to name one girl he had ever loved, it would have been her.
But he felt like an idiot. He was in love with a figment of his imagination.
A girl he could never meet or know. And besides, the princess was in love
with somebody else. It made him almost jealous of the prince who suited her
so perfectly. He was jealous because the only girl he ever loved was already
taken and it was his own mind that had made it that way. The dream was
controlled by him and why had he made it so that he couldn't have the
only thing he had ever wanted? He didn't know why. But ten years ago, the
dreams had ceased. His life had seemed so empty. Not worth living. And five
years later, he had been hired by Tetsu. And met Usagi. He remembered that
she had seemed much happier, much... more content?
Suddenly, Mamoru felt a jolt that woke him up from his thoughts. His body
was knocked forward, then pulled back. He looked behind him and saw a car
crashed into the back of his.
"No, no, no, no, no.... Please, no..." he muttered.
Mamoru quickly got out and inspected the damage. His precious car had been
scratched and disfigured. He sighed.
"Sorry," he heard a female voice next to him.
He turned and saw a woman dressed smartly, looking a little older than him.
She had emerald green eyes that sparkled confidently at him. She had short,
silky blonde hair. Somehow, she seemed familiar. Mamoru frowned.
"I'll pay for it," she offered casually. "I'm really sorry."
"That's fine," he brushed away the offer with equal carelessness.
Her familiarity bothered him.
"Where do you work?" she asked. "I think I've seen you before."
"I work.. At Pegasus. Architectural design."
"Hmmm. Well, I don't know anyone in architecture. My name's Sharla,
I'm with the Federal Court of Justice."
She held out her hand. He took it and shook her hand. A lawyer?
He didn't know any lawyers.
"Sharla..." he murmured. "I know you from somewhere.."
But she was leaning forward, looking at where her car had driven into his
and wasn't listening. Mamoru kept looking at her, hoping he'd remember.
When Sharla turned around, she found him gazing blankly at her. She smiled.
"Mamoru, I take this as an insult," she laughed, then clicked her fingers
in front of his eyes.
He stared at her in shock. He honestly couldn't remember who she was.
"I even gave you my name!" she frowned, folding her arms and looking
impatient.
"Sorry, it's just not a good day today...." he muttered.
"Don't worry. There's always more than one way to get through a bad day.
Remember?" Sharla smiled at him.
Mamoru did remember. He had never forgotten her trademark quote. Sharla.
His university lecturer. The one who had given him that book. She had
been like a sister or a mother to him. Neither of which he had never had.
Sharla watched his face remember her.
"And then there was light," she giggled. "Obviously I didn't mean very
much to you."
"Oh God, I'm sorry Sharla!" Mamoru quickly told her. "I just.. I just um
forgot."
He looked at her, embarrassed for forgetting her.
"That's okay Mamoru. I believe you. Besides, I don't really have the right
to be insulted that you don't remember me," she murmured.
Mamoru felt a sharp pain in his heart. Was that an apology? He didn't know.
Meanwhile, Usagi sat on Mamoru's bed, staring at the crimson spine. She had
told him, finally, that she had read it. He had not minded, but did that mean
she could read more? She wanted to. It was beautiful. It eased her broken
heart, to know that somebody else felt exactly the same. Somebody... Somebody
she knew. But Usagi had never imagined that Mamoru would have had a lost love
in his life. She wanted to read the book badly, but she was afraid of reading
something she wasn't supposed to. What if.. just what if there was something
there that she didn't want to read? It would be too late then.
"Dreamscapes..." Usagi murmured, her eyes unable to leave the book.
Then she stood up and grabbed the book from the shelf. She crawled over onto
the bed and opened up the book from the beginning and started to read.
Mamoru sat at his desk, deep in thought. He drank another cup of coffee and
tried to get some work done, but there were too many things cluttering his
mind to even think about work. First, it had been Usagi. Then there was
the princess and his dreams. And now, Sharla. She had been his lecturer
for psychology, even though he had quit after the first year. The subject
depressed Mamoru. But he and Sharla had remained friends and they did,
at one point, become close. Mamoru didn't even want to think about that.
He didn't want to remind himself that he had lost control that one time in
his life. Sharla was older than him and she had been the one controlling
their relationship. He was just intrigued by the way her mind worked and
he somehow ended up attracted to her. But he didn't admit that he loved her.
He probably didn't. He still didn't want to admit it. He was afraid to admit
he had every loved anyone. It was easier for him to think that he hadn't been
in love, and then forget it just like that. Obviously Sharla had regretted
that incident. Mamoru still didn't want to forgive her for what she did to
him. Maybe it was because if he forgave her, then he would want her back in
his life. And he was afraid of that.
When Mamoru returned home from work, he found Usagi asleep on his bed. She lay,
sprawled comfortably. He smiled to himself, amused. She was like a cat. A stray
cat he had taken into his own home to look after. Then a book under her arms
caught his eye. His book. She was reading it... again? Mamoru walked quietly
over to the sleeping figure and just looked at her. He wasn't sure whether he
was supposed to be angry at her for invading his privacy or grateful that she
had read it. He had written the book with the intention of it being read. But
at the time, he had wanted Sharla to read it. But that was years ago. And he
had kept the book, waiting until he would find someone to read it and appreciate
him for who he was. Although the book was about his dreams of his true love, his
princess, the words were about him. They revealed who he was, his
thoughts and feelings. He had never expected somebody to read it without him
making sure it was the right person. Ironically, the book had found her for him.
But what did that mean? Mamoru had only ever thought of the right person as the
right person for him. So if she had found the book.... Then did that mean he
was supposed to accept the fact that the right person had found him? He gazed
at the sleeping Usagi. She murmured something. A name. Tetsu. Mamoru didn't
know what to do. He watched as Usagi stirred and opened her eyes sleepily.
She saw him and sat up, blushing from embarrassment. Then she realised that
the book was there, open and visible to him.
"I'm sorry, but I just had to read it... It's impossible for me to tear myself
away from this book," Usagi whispered to him.
But Mamoru wasn't really listening. He was so immersed in his thoughts that
he could only see her lips moving and nothing else. He didn't hear anything.
"It's so beautiful," Usagi smiled, unaware of the fact that Mamoru wasn't
listening. "I just can't believe that anyone could write anything this beautiful!
And it's like a dream... I mean.. It is, isn't it? It's your dreams isn't it?"
Usagi frowned curiously at him. Was he listening? He gazed at her, his eyes
looking empty. She felt a chill down her spine. Was he angry at her for reading
his book? She nervously reached out and touched his arm.
"Mamoru san? Are you angry?" she asked him.
His arm flinched as her delicate hand touched it.
"Are you okay?" she frowned. "You look.. a little tired."
Mamoru looked down at her worried face. She looked up at him, her curious blue
eyes reminding him so much of the princess. Suddenly he wasn't sure who was
looking at him. His princess, or his work mate's wife. But then, did he really
care? All he had ever wanted was to find the girl from his dream turn into reality.
And she was there, wasn't she? Right in front of him. He grabbed her and held her
small body tightly against him.
"Mamoru san, is there something wro...."
But Usagi couldn't finish what she was saying because his lips had silenced hers.
----
END OF PART 4
----
A.N. How's that for gooey satisfaction ^_- Now Minako chan, put down that chainsaw!
Teaser:
Part 5 - Yes Or No? Or Is It, I Don't know?
"Tetsu... Before you go.."
"Hm?"
"Do you love your wife?"
"Look Mamoru, not that again. I really have to go."
And Tetsu hung up. Mamoru sat there, staring into empty space.
"Because I do..." he murmured.
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;
In case you forgot or skipped part 3:
He sat down on the bed next to her and gently
stroked her hair. The towel was now warm, so
he removed it. Usagi's eyes fluttered. He could
barely see her in the darkness. She opened them
a little, but then closed them again.
"Tetsu? Is that you?" she whispered hopefully.
Mamoru opened his mouth to say "no", but a part
of him made him say "yes". Usagi started to breath
slower and deeper. She smiled a little.
----
And To Change, Is It Good?
By Artemis
----
Part 4 - There's Always More Than One Way
Usagi sat up feeling groggy, but much better than before. She sat up
and found herself wearing Mamoru's shirt. It hung loosely on her small
body. She realised she was in his room. Her eyes slid over to the book
shelf. The crimson coloured book beckoned her once more. Her heart beat
nervously as she walked closer and closer to the shelf. She couldn't
read it.. It was his.. Not hers to read. And she still hadn't told him
that she had even read it. She stood there staring at the spine with
elaborate gold writing. Then suddenly, the door opened slowly and Usagi
snapped her head in that direction. Mamoru was doing up his tie and
with a piece of toast in his mouth. She stared at him. He avoided looking
at her.
"Mamoru san..." she murmured.
She was too nervous and scared to move. Twice now, he had found her near
that book. But he hadn't noticed this time. Usagi knew she had to tell him
that she had read it, but she couldn't bring up the courage.
"Sleep well?" he asked as he took the toast out of his mouth.
He took a bite from his toast and Usagi watched the crumbs falling onto the
carpet near his feet. She nodded slowly in reply.
"That's good. You were asleep for three days you know."
Usagi didn't really quite register that fact. Mamoru wondered why she
looked so torn. He continued eating his toast.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
Usagi shook her head. Mamoru then saw his watch on the bedside table.
He walked over and took it. When he walked back to the door, Usagi was still
looking like she wanted to say something.
"What?" he asked, then finished eating his toast.
Usagi looked at him nervously. She looked like she was going to cry. Mamoru
sighed. Why did she always look like she was going to cry? It made him feel
guilty as if he had done something to make her look like that.
"I have to get to work," he told her, then started to walk out of the door.
"Wait!" Usagi called him back, running over to him and grabbing his arm.
Mamoru turned and looked at her, puzzled. She started sobbing quietly.
Her thin fingers clutched his arm tighter and tighter.
"Was it something I said?" he asked curiously.
She shook her head and kept her head lowered. Usagi bit her lip and tried
to stop the tears from falling. She felt Mamoru's hand gently stroking her
hair to comfort her. He looked at her and wondered what was wrong.
"I'm sorry..." she murmured between sobs. "I'm sorry... I'm... so.. rry.."
"About what?"
Mamoru gave her time to reply. And she finally let go of his arm to wipe
away her tears.
"I read your book.. I lied.... I'm sorry.." she whispered, almost choking
on her own words.
He stared at her, surprised. She was crying because she had read his book?
That was it? For a second he felt angry that she had read it, but he didn't
stay angry for long.
"You didn't have to cry," he murmured, then squeezed her nose.
Usagi looked at him, startled. She rubbed her nose.
"Aren't you mad at me? Wasn't that book something personal?" she asked.
He just smiled. "It's all right. Obviously you read it the right way."
His comforting smile made her smile back. There was a silence between
them as Usagi rubbed her eyes with her sleeve.
"Anyway, I have to get to work," he told her, then turned around to leave.
She followed him out of the door. Mamoru grabbed his bag, keys and phone
from the table. Usagi watched as he opened the front door.
"Um... Mamoru san?" she called out to him just before he closed the door.
He turned around. "Hm?"
"I... I thought it was beautiful.." she smiled.
For a second, Mamoru didn't know what she meant, but then realised.
He paused and thought about what he should say in reply.
"Then I'm glad you read it."
Mamoru closed the door and left, feeling a little dizzy from all the
emotion. He wasn't good with dealing with it, let alone first thing in
the morning. But she made him smile. She made him feel glad that she had
been the one to read it.
During the drive to the office, Mamoru got caught in traffic once more.
He stared out at the busy freeway scenery and found himself deep in
thought. It had even been a while since Mamoru had written in that book.
The book of dreams. His dreams. Dreams of her. Ten years ago, he had
stopped writing because she had stopped appearing in his dreams. The girl,
the princess. He tried to concentrate on the road as a blaring horn snapped
him out of his thoughts. The lights were green. Mamoru sped forward, then
was suddenly stopped by some workers on the road. He groaned. He drummed
his fingers impatiently on the wheel. And as he emptied his mind, thoughts
of her returned. Mamoru had never been in love for the thirty years he had
lived. Never ever. Not once. Maybe it had been because he never really let
anybody care about him. But the princess from his dreams. She was different.
If Mamoru had to name one girl he had ever loved, it would have been her.
But he felt like an idiot. He was in love with a figment of his imagination.
A girl he could never meet or know. And besides, the princess was in love
with somebody else. It made him almost jealous of the prince who suited her
so perfectly. He was jealous because the only girl he ever loved was already
taken and it was his own mind that had made it that way. The dream was
controlled by him and why had he made it so that he couldn't have the
only thing he had ever wanted? He didn't know why. But ten years ago, the
dreams had ceased. His life had seemed so empty. Not worth living. And five
years later, he had been hired by Tetsu. And met Usagi. He remembered that
she had seemed much happier, much... more content?
Suddenly, Mamoru felt a jolt that woke him up from his thoughts. His body
was knocked forward, then pulled back. He looked behind him and saw a car
crashed into the back of his.
"No, no, no, no, no.... Please, no..." he muttered.
Mamoru quickly got out and inspected the damage. His precious car had been
scratched and disfigured. He sighed.
"Sorry," he heard a female voice next to him.
He turned and saw a woman dressed smartly, looking a little older than him.
She had emerald green eyes that sparkled confidently at him. She had short,
silky blonde hair. Somehow, she seemed familiar. Mamoru frowned.
"I'll pay for it," she offered casually. "I'm really sorry."
"That's fine," he brushed away the offer with equal carelessness.
Her familiarity bothered him.
"Where do you work?" she asked. "I think I've seen you before."
"I work.. At Pegasus. Architectural design."
"Hmmm. Well, I don't know anyone in architecture. My name's Sharla,
I'm with the Federal Court of Justice."
She held out her hand. He took it and shook her hand. A lawyer?
He didn't know any lawyers.
"Sharla..." he murmured. "I know you from somewhere.."
But she was leaning forward, looking at where her car had driven into his
and wasn't listening. Mamoru kept looking at her, hoping he'd remember.
When Sharla turned around, she found him gazing blankly at her. She smiled.
"Mamoru, I take this as an insult," she laughed, then clicked her fingers
in front of his eyes.
He stared at her in shock. He honestly couldn't remember who she was.
"I even gave you my name!" she frowned, folding her arms and looking
impatient.
"Sorry, it's just not a good day today...." he muttered.
"Don't worry. There's always more than one way to get through a bad day.
Remember?" Sharla smiled at him.
Mamoru did remember. He had never forgotten her trademark quote. Sharla.
His university lecturer. The one who had given him that book. She had
been like a sister or a mother to him. Neither of which he had never had.
Sharla watched his face remember her.
"And then there was light," she giggled. "Obviously I didn't mean very
much to you."
"Oh God, I'm sorry Sharla!" Mamoru quickly told her. "I just.. I just um
forgot."
He looked at her, embarrassed for forgetting her.
"That's okay Mamoru. I believe you. Besides, I don't really have the right
to be insulted that you don't remember me," she murmured.
Mamoru felt a sharp pain in his heart. Was that an apology? He didn't know.
Meanwhile, Usagi sat on Mamoru's bed, staring at the crimson spine. She had
told him, finally, that she had read it. He had not minded, but did that mean
she could read more? She wanted to. It was beautiful. It eased her broken
heart, to know that somebody else felt exactly the same. Somebody... Somebody
she knew. But Usagi had never imagined that Mamoru would have had a lost love
in his life. She wanted to read the book badly, but she was afraid of reading
something she wasn't supposed to. What if.. just what if there was something
there that she didn't want to read? It would be too late then.
"Dreamscapes..." Usagi murmured, her eyes unable to leave the book.
Then she stood up and grabbed the book from the shelf. She crawled over onto
the bed and opened up the book from the beginning and started to read.
Mamoru sat at his desk, deep in thought. He drank another cup of coffee and
tried to get some work done, but there were too many things cluttering his
mind to even think about work. First, it had been Usagi. Then there was
the princess and his dreams. And now, Sharla. She had been his lecturer
for psychology, even though he had quit after the first year. The subject
depressed Mamoru. But he and Sharla had remained friends and they did,
at one point, become close. Mamoru didn't even want to think about that.
He didn't want to remind himself that he had lost control that one time in
his life. Sharla was older than him and she had been the one controlling
their relationship. He was just intrigued by the way her mind worked and
he somehow ended up attracted to her. But he didn't admit that he loved her.
He probably didn't. He still didn't want to admit it. He was afraid to admit
he had every loved anyone. It was easier for him to think that he hadn't been
in love, and then forget it just like that. Obviously Sharla had regretted
that incident. Mamoru still didn't want to forgive her for what she did to
him. Maybe it was because if he forgave her, then he would want her back in
his life. And he was afraid of that.
When Mamoru returned home from work, he found Usagi asleep on his bed. She lay,
sprawled comfortably. He smiled to himself, amused. She was like a cat. A stray
cat he had taken into his own home to look after. Then a book under her arms
caught his eye. His book. She was reading it... again? Mamoru walked quietly
over to the sleeping figure and just looked at her. He wasn't sure whether he
was supposed to be angry at her for invading his privacy or grateful that she
had read it. He had written the book with the intention of it being read. But
at the time, he had wanted Sharla to read it. But that was years ago. And he
had kept the book, waiting until he would find someone to read it and appreciate
him for who he was. Although the book was about his dreams of his true love, his
princess, the words were about him. They revealed who he was, his
thoughts and feelings. He had never expected somebody to read it without him
making sure it was the right person. Ironically, the book had found her for him.
But what did that mean? Mamoru had only ever thought of the right person as the
right person for him. So if she had found the book.... Then did that mean he
was supposed to accept the fact that the right person had found him? He gazed
at the sleeping Usagi. She murmured something. A name. Tetsu. Mamoru didn't
know what to do. He watched as Usagi stirred and opened her eyes sleepily.
She saw him and sat up, blushing from embarrassment. Then she realised that
the book was there, open and visible to him.
"I'm sorry, but I just had to read it... It's impossible for me to tear myself
away from this book," Usagi whispered to him.
But Mamoru wasn't really listening. He was so immersed in his thoughts that
he could only see her lips moving and nothing else. He didn't hear anything.
"It's so beautiful," Usagi smiled, unaware of the fact that Mamoru wasn't
listening. "I just can't believe that anyone could write anything this beautiful!
And it's like a dream... I mean.. It is, isn't it? It's your dreams isn't it?"
Usagi frowned curiously at him. Was he listening? He gazed at her, his eyes
looking empty. She felt a chill down her spine. Was he angry at her for reading
his book? She nervously reached out and touched his arm.
"Mamoru san? Are you angry?" she asked him.
His arm flinched as her delicate hand touched it.
"Are you okay?" she frowned. "You look.. a little tired."
Mamoru looked down at her worried face. She looked up at him, her curious blue
eyes reminding him so much of the princess. Suddenly he wasn't sure who was
looking at him. His princess, or his work mate's wife. But then, did he really
care? All he had ever wanted was to find the girl from his dream turn into reality.
And she was there, wasn't she? Right in front of him. He grabbed her and held her
small body tightly against him.
"Mamoru san, is there something wro...."
But Usagi couldn't finish what she was saying because his lips had silenced hers.
----
END OF PART 4
----
A.N. How's that for gooey satisfaction ^_- Now Minako chan, put down that chainsaw!
Teaser:
Part 5 - Yes Or No? Or Is It, I Don't know?
"Tetsu... Before you go.."
"Hm?"
"Do you love your wife?"
"Look Mamoru, not that again. I really have to go."
And Tetsu hung up. Mamoru sat there, staring into empty space.
"Because I do..." he murmured.
