Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. You think I'd be
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;
A.N. I know this is very Mamoru orientated, more than
an Usa/Mamo fic but lately I've been having fun writing
about Mamoru more than Usagi ^_^ Besides, too much Mamoru
is never a bad thing, right?
And wow after reading your reviews, I read over to see how teasery
I had left and oh my god i did ^^; heh.. uhh sorry?
In case you forgot or skipped part 4:
She looked up at him, her curious blue
eyes reminding him so much of the princess.
Suddenly he wasn't sure who was looking at
him. His princess, or his work mate's wife.
But then, did he really care?
----
And To Change, Is It Good?
By Artemis
----
Part 5 - Yes Or No? Or Is It, I Don't Know?
Mamoru stood outside on the kerb. He watched as dark clouds rolled
into vision. It was humid. And it was going to rain.
"How many ways are there to get through a bad day?" he whispered.
He couldn't count them. He couldn't even count one. People pushed
past him as they crossed the road. Then, it began to rain. More
people jostled around him as they moved busily across the street.
One man pushed Mamoru so hard that he fell back into a puddle.
Mamoru sat there on the ground, feeling the rain seep into his clothes.
He was lost. He didn't care. He had felt this way so many times in his
life that he started to feel glad that that helpless feeling had come
back. He felt sick. Mamoru finally stood up. He walked down the empty
sidewalk in a direction he didn't really think about. He just walked.
He felt cold, but he kept walking. As he walked out onto the road, a
car nearly missed him. Mamoru hurried onto the other side. He sat
down at a bus stop. Then, he heard his mobile ringing. The artificial
shrill was hard to ignore. Mamoru answered.
"Mamoru, it's Tetsu," he heard the voice he didn't want to hear.
Mamoru didn't reply. He just sat there, dripping.
"You there? Mamoru?"
"Yeah.."
"Well I'm coming back early. I'll be back in two days."
"Great."
"You sound enthusiastic," Tetsu replied sarcastically. "What's wrong?
Everything okay back at the office?"
"Yeah.."
"Then?"
"You don't want to know."
"Sure I do."
"Not this one."
"Okay, well Mamoru, I have to go now. I've got to go to a meeting."
"Tetsu... Before you go.."
"Hm?"
"Do you love your wife?"
"Look Mamoru, not that again. I really have to go."
And Tetsu hung up. Mamoru sat there, staring into empty space.
"Because I do..." he murmured.
Mamoru heard a child laughing at him. He turned and saw a little boy
and a young mother. He turned back and continued staring at the drizzling
rain. He didn't know himself any more. He didn't know what he wanted.
And he certainly didn't know how to deal with it. He had just admitted
to himself that he was in love with Usagi, Tetsu's wife. How had that
happened? Sure, he thought she looked like his princess, but did that
mean he was in love with Usagi? He shook his head and cleared his mind.
He didn't really want to think about it. He would deal with it later.
Later? When was that? Maybe later was when he would make himself deal
with it. For the time being, Mamoru just wanted to think about nothing.
Usagi still remained where Mamoru had left her. She sat on his fluffy,
soft doona. Her eyes stared blankly at the book. The smooth writing
didn't beckon her any more. But a particular passage caught her eye.
"I don't know if she loves me, but I'll still love her the same. Just
being able to see her is enough for me. To see her eyes so blue and
her hair like golden rays of sunlight....." Usagi read slowly and
softly.
His princess, his true love. And she looked just like her. Was that why?
Was that why he had held her so tight? And kissed her? She could still
feel his arms around her and the taste of coffee in her mouth. Her lips
were trembling from shock. Usagi didn't really know what to think.
She wasn't angry at Mamoru because it hadn't been his fault that she
looked like his lost love. So if she wasn't angry, then what? The sudden
crack of thunder and lightning made Usagi jump. She looked outside the
window. It was dark and grey. The rain fell heavily. Since when had it
started to rain? Usagi wondered if Mamoru was walking around in the
rain right now. She felt incredibly guilty. She didn't want him to be
feeling regret for kissing her. Usagi understood how he felt. How he
must have longed to hold, touch or even kiss the only girl he had every
wanted. Just the way she felt about Tetsu. Her husband. Somehow she
didn't think the kiss was wrong at all. In fact, she felt that it was
the only thing that had offered her any answers to those thoughts
spinning around in her mind.
The buzzer suddenly echoed into the room. Usagi sat up and frowned.
Who could it be? Had Mamoru come back? She hoped so. She wanted to
clear things up with him. Usagi hurried to the door and opened it.
She stared at a woman standing outside. A woman with emerald green
eyes and short blond hair. And the woman stared back at her. At a
girl dressed only in Mamoru's shirt.
"Is this Mamoru's place?" the woman asked, recovering from her
initial shock.
Usagi nodded and wondered who the woman was. She looked much older
than her and even older than Mamoru.
"Who are you?" the woman asked harshly.
"I'm staying here temporarily. I'm Mamoru's colleague's wife," Usagi
replied defensively.
Then, the woman laughed. Her emerald green eyes sparkled in relief.
Usagi frowned.
"Who are you?" she asked the woman.
"I'm Mamoru's friend, shall I say. I just met up with him today after
losing in touch with him. I thought I'd drop by. Is he home?"
Usagi shook her head. "Sorry."
"Any idea where he went?"
"No."
"Oh."
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Would you like to come in?" Usagi asked.
"Sure," the woman smiled.
Mamoru wandered around the streets. He passed a florist and some red
roses in the window caught his eye. He stopped and stood outside,
gazing at them. He turned and walked into the store.
"Hi," a young man smiled. "May I help you?"
The store was warm and smelt comfortable. Mamoru relaxed a little.
"May I buy a rose?" he asked. "A red one."
"Certainly."
He watched as the young man picked out a rose, wrapped it in some
clear plastic and handed it over to him. Mamoru gave him the money
and took the rose. It smelt beautiful. He smiled a little.
"Thanks."
He left the store and started to walk under shelters to prevent his
rose from getting wet.
"My name is Sharla Winterman," the woman smiled. "I knew Mamoru at
university."
Usagi nodded and smiled back. She had changed into her own clothes
after the embarrassment of being asked why she was only wearing
Mamoru's shirt. It didn't look good.
"I was his lecturer. For psychology," Sharla continued, her eyes
twinkling. "We were quite close... But well, I guess I obviously
wasn't that special to him."
"I didn't know Mamoru studied psychology," Usagi murmured.
"He did for a year. But then quit. He didn't like it."
Usagi nodded.
"Do you know him well?" Sharla asked, taking a sip of the coffee
she had been offered.
"Not really. I'd only met him once or twice before now," Usagi
admitted.
Sharla nodded, satisfied.
"Aren't you lucky your husband left you with Mamoru?" Sharla giggled.
Usagi wasn't sure what she meant so she didn't reply.
"He'd take good care of you because you look like her.."
"Who's her?" Usagi frowned.
"His love, his princess," Sharla replied in an annoyed tone.
Usagi wondered who Sharla was to know so much about Mamoru. She didn't
think Mamoru would have dated women from what Tetsu had told her.
"If only I hadn't screwed up with him... I'd probably still have him,"
Sharla sighed.
Usagi didn't really want to listen, but she didn't want to be rude so
she kept quiet.
"Are you in love with him?" Usagi asked quietly, after a pause.
Sharla turned to her and shrugged.
"I don't think so. He was just a nice guy. Besides, I'm married.
I was married when I first met Mamoru. That was how I'd hurt him."
Hearing those words shocked Usagi. How could Sharla betray her husband?
She didn't understand. She couldn't understand. She didn't want to.
"What about you?" Sharla bounced the question back at her.
"What about me?" Usagi frowned, a little defensively.
"Are you in love with Mamoru?"
"Of course not! I'm married!" Usagi shouted angrily. "How could you
even think that!? I don't understand you at all!"
Sharla chuckled, amused by Usagi's reaction.
"You two would make a good couple. You think alike."
"I think anybody with morals thinks the same," Usagi muttered with disgust.
She hoped Sharla hadn't hear, but she had. But Sharla pretended not to have
heard Usagi. She didn't care about a stupid girl. All she wanted was Mamoru.
Eventually the rain eased and Mamoru found himself walking back to the
apartment. He wanted to deal with Usagi now. He had had enough of thinking
empty thoughts. She had seemed startled and shocked when he had left her.
He hoped she had understood. He hadn't meant for his emotions to gain
control of his mind. But he had the feeling that if she had read his book,
she would have understood. Because didn't she know how he felt? Being in
love with somebody he could not reach. Even Usagi had done the same mistake
to him, by kissing him when she thought he was Tetsu. It had been the
exact same thing. Just that with Mamoru, he had realised he was falling in
love with Usagi. And that kiss had awakened his feelings for her.
Sharla answered the door when Mamoru returned. Usagi could hear their voices
from her room. She had left her door ajar. Mamoru sounded a little pleased
with the surprise visitor.
"Is this rose for me?" Sharla teased him.
"No," Mamoru blushed. "Sorry."
Mamoru avoided her advances on him and walked straight past her.
"Mamoru I have to talk to you," she told him seriously.
He looked at her, puzzled. Sharla sat down on the couch and gestured for
him to join her. He sat down beside her obediently.
"I was thinking about us..." Sharla whispered.
"There is no us," Mamoru replied bluntly. "If that's what you came here
for, then leave. I don't want to talk to you Sharla. I'm not in love with
you and I never will be."
"Because of her?"
She saw the confusion in his expression.
"Your dear beloved princess," Sharla reminded him.
"Sharla, you're married. That in itself is a fact that you should start to
think about," Mamoru told her coldly and started to get up.
Sharla pulled him back down, tugging sharply at his arm. He shook her off
and walked over to the door. He opened it.
"Get out Sharla."
Sharla sighed, then started walking slowly towards Mamoru and the door.
"If only I had blue eyes," she grinned at him. "Then you'd be mine in a
second."
Mamoru swallowed hard and contained himself. He watched Sharla leave and
slammed the door behind her. How she expected him to crawl at her feet
once more was a mystery to him. Then, Mamoru heard the careful sound of
a door closing. He looked around and his eyes rested on Usagi's door.
Had she heard everything? Was she listening?
Usagi heard a gentle knock on her bedroom door. She opened it slowly,
her eyes meeting with Mamoru's worried eyes. She smiled.
"Can I come in?" Mamoru asked.
Usagi simply nodded and let him in. She closed the door.
"If it's about.. what... happened," Usagi murmured. "I know. I understand."
Mamoru sighed in relief. So she wasn't angry at him. But he wondered why
she looked incredibly calm and relaxed with him.
"You aren't.. upset about what I did?" he asked.
"No, of course not. I mean I did it to you the first night I was here,"
she smiled softly. "It's okay."
"But wait, I.." Mamoru opened his mouth to tell her how he felt.
Usagi walked up to him and placed her finger on his lips.
"It's okay, I know," she smiled.
Mamoru took her hand away, holding her wrist gently. Usagi was getting
used to his cold hands now. Her warmth comforted him.
"Tetsu rang me," he spoke up. "He said he's coming back in two days."
"Really?" Usagi murmured.
Mamoru nodded and looked at her. He didn't let go of her wrist.
"Could you do me a favour Mamoru san?" Usagi asked him quietly.
"Anything," he smiled.
"Can we go out to dinner tomorrow night?" she whispered, as if she
was afraid that Tetsu would hear it. "Since it will be the last
time we'll be together. I want to thank you for letting me stay
here and looking after me."
"It'll be my pleasure," Mamoru replied, barely moving his lips as
their eyes stayed fixed onto each other.
Usagi felt him bringing her hand to his lips. There was a comfortable
understanding that they shared. The understanding that they both had
what the other wanted.
----
END OF PART 5
----
A.N. Now Minako chan, don't get out your chainsaw again x_x; And yes, the
next part will be the end! *huahuahauhaua* Yes I'm evil. So what else is new?
The ending I guess was a little... weird? Don't worry, it gets weirder in
the next part ^_-;
Teaser:
Part 6 - Do You Choose This Man...
He leaned against the wall and rang home. Usagi answered,
sounding overly enthusiastic at the sound of his voice.
It made him so hopeful that it made him feel pathetic that
he wanted somebody else's wife.
"Usagi," he murmured without the formalities. "I'm caught
up in a conference and I don't know how long it'll last.
We're going to have to cancel dinner. I'm sorry."
"Oh.." her voice fell.
Mamoru wished she'd stop making him feel hopeful.
writing a fanfic if I did? Heh -_-;
A.N. I know this is very Mamoru orientated, more than
an Usa/Mamo fic but lately I've been having fun writing
about Mamoru more than Usagi ^_^ Besides, too much Mamoru
is never a bad thing, right?
And wow after reading your reviews, I read over to see how teasery
I had left and oh my god i did ^^; heh.. uhh sorry?
In case you forgot or skipped part 4:
She looked up at him, her curious blue
eyes reminding him so much of the princess.
Suddenly he wasn't sure who was looking at
him. His princess, or his work mate's wife.
But then, did he really care?
----
And To Change, Is It Good?
By Artemis
----
Part 5 - Yes Or No? Or Is It, I Don't Know?
Mamoru stood outside on the kerb. He watched as dark clouds rolled
into vision. It was humid. And it was going to rain.
"How many ways are there to get through a bad day?" he whispered.
He couldn't count them. He couldn't even count one. People pushed
past him as they crossed the road. Then, it began to rain. More
people jostled around him as they moved busily across the street.
One man pushed Mamoru so hard that he fell back into a puddle.
Mamoru sat there on the ground, feeling the rain seep into his clothes.
He was lost. He didn't care. He had felt this way so many times in his
life that he started to feel glad that that helpless feeling had come
back. He felt sick. Mamoru finally stood up. He walked down the empty
sidewalk in a direction he didn't really think about. He just walked.
He felt cold, but he kept walking. As he walked out onto the road, a
car nearly missed him. Mamoru hurried onto the other side. He sat
down at a bus stop. Then, he heard his mobile ringing. The artificial
shrill was hard to ignore. Mamoru answered.
"Mamoru, it's Tetsu," he heard the voice he didn't want to hear.
Mamoru didn't reply. He just sat there, dripping.
"You there? Mamoru?"
"Yeah.."
"Well I'm coming back early. I'll be back in two days."
"Great."
"You sound enthusiastic," Tetsu replied sarcastically. "What's wrong?
Everything okay back at the office?"
"Yeah.."
"Then?"
"You don't want to know."
"Sure I do."
"Not this one."
"Okay, well Mamoru, I have to go now. I've got to go to a meeting."
"Tetsu... Before you go.."
"Hm?"
"Do you love your wife?"
"Look Mamoru, not that again. I really have to go."
And Tetsu hung up. Mamoru sat there, staring into empty space.
"Because I do..." he murmured.
Mamoru heard a child laughing at him. He turned and saw a little boy
and a young mother. He turned back and continued staring at the drizzling
rain. He didn't know himself any more. He didn't know what he wanted.
And he certainly didn't know how to deal with it. He had just admitted
to himself that he was in love with Usagi, Tetsu's wife. How had that
happened? Sure, he thought she looked like his princess, but did that
mean he was in love with Usagi? He shook his head and cleared his mind.
He didn't really want to think about it. He would deal with it later.
Later? When was that? Maybe later was when he would make himself deal
with it. For the time being, Mamoru just wanted to think about nothing.
Usagi still remained where Mamoru had left her. She sat on his fluffy,
soft doona. Her eyes stared blankly at the book. The smooth writing
didn't beckon her any more. But a particular passage caught her eye.
"I don't know if she loves me, but I'll still love her the same. Just
being able to see her is enough for me. To see her eyes so blue and
her hair like golden rays of sunlight....." Usagi read slowly and
softly.
His princess, his true love. And she looked just like her. Was that why?
Was that why he had held her so tight? And kissed her? She could still
feel his arms around her and the taste of coffee in her mouth. Her lips
were trembling from shock. Usagi didn't really know what to think.
She wasn't angry at Mamoru because it hadn't been his fault that she
looked like his lost love. So if she wasn't angry, then what? The sudden
crack of thunder and lightning made Usagi jump. She looked outside the
window. It was dark and grey. The rain fell heavily. Since when had it
started to rain? Usagi wondered if Mamoru was walking around in the
rain right now. She felt incredibly guilty. She didn't want him to be
feeling regret for kissing her. Usagi understood how he felt. How he
must have longed to hold, touch or even kiss the only girl he had every
wanted. Just the way she felt about Tetsu. Her husband. Somehow she
didn't think the kiss was wrong at all. In fact, she felt that it was
the only thing that had offered her any answers to those thoughts
spinning around in her mind.
The buzzer suddenly echoed into the room. Usagi sat up and frowned.
Who could it be? Had Mamoru come back? She hoped so. She wanted to
clear things up with him. Usagi hurried to the door and opened it.
She stared at a woman standing outside. A woman with emerald green
eyes and short blond hair. And the woman stared back at her. At a
girl dressed only in Mamoru's shirt.
"Is this Mamoru's place?" the woman asked, recovering from her
initial shock.
Usagi nodded and wondered who the woman was. She looked much older
than her and even older than Mamoru.
"Who are you?" the woman asked harshly.
"I'm staying here temporarily. I'm Mamoru's colleague's wife," Usagi
replied defensively.
Then, the woman laughed. Her emerald green eyes sparkled in relief.
Usagi frowned.
"Who are you?" she asked the woman.
"I'm Mamoru's friend, shall I say. I just met up with him today after
losing in touch with him. I thought I'd drop by. Is he home?"
Usagi shook her head. "Sorry."
"Any idea where he went?"
"No."
"Oh."
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Would you like to come in?" Usagi asked.
"Sure," the woman smiled.
Mamoru wandered around the streets. He passed a florist and some red
roses in the window caught his eye. He stopped and stood outside,
gazing at them. He turned and walked into the store.
"Hi," a young man smiled. "May I help you?"
The store was warm and smelt comfortable. Mamoru relaxed a little.
"May I buy a rose?" he asked. "A red one."
"Certainly."
He watched as the young man picked out a rose, wrapped it in some
clear plastic and handed it over to him. Mamoru gave him the money
and took the rose. It smelt beautiful. He smiled a little.
"Thanks."
He left the store and started to walk under shelters to prevent his
rose from getting wet.
"My name is Sharla Winterman," the woman smiled. "I knew Mamoru at
university."
Usagi nodded and smiled back. She had changed into her own clothes
after the embarrassment of being asked why she was only wearing
Mamoru's shirt. It didn't look good.
"I was his lecturer. For psychology," Sharla continued, her eyes
twinkling. "We were quite close... But well, I guess I obviously
wasn't that special to him."
"I didn't know Mamoru studied psychology," Usagi murmured.
"He did for a year. But then quit. He didn't like it."
Usagi nodded.
"Do you know him well?" Sharla asked, taking a sip of the coffee
she had been offered.
"Not really. I'd only met him once or twice before now," Usagi
admitted.
Sharla nodded, satisfied.
"Aren't you lucky your husband left you with Mamoru?" Sharla giggled.
Usagi wasn't sure what she meant so she didn't reply.
"He'd take good care of you because you look like her.."
"Who's her?" Usagi frowned.
"His love, his princess," Sharla replied in an annoyed tone.
Usagi wondered who Sharla was to know so much about Mamoru. She didn't
think Mamoru would have dated women from what Tetsu had told her.
"If only I hadn't screwed up with him... I'd probably still have him,"
Sharla sighed.
Usagi didn't really want to listen, but she didn't want to be rude so
she kept quiet.
"Are you in love with him?" Usagi asked quietly, after a pause.
Sharla turned to her and shrugged.
"I don't think so. He was just a nice guy. Besides, I'm married.
I was married when I first met Mamoru. That was how I'd hurt him."
Hearing those words shocked Usagi. How could Sharla betray her husband?
She didn't understand. She couldn't understand. She didn't want to.
"What about you?" Sharla bounced the question back at her.
"What about me?" Usagi frowned, a little defensively.
"Are you in love with Mamoru?"
"Of course not! I'm married!" Usagi shouted angrily. "How could you
even think that!? I don't understand you at all!"
Sharla chuckled, amused by Usagi's reaction.
"You two would make a good couple. You think alike."
"I think anybody with morals thinks the same," Usagi muttered with disgust.
She hoped Sharla hadn't hear, but she had. But Sharla pretended not to have
heard Usagi. She didn't care about a stupid girl. All she wanted was Mamoru.
Eventually the rain eased and Mamoru found himself walking back to the
apartment. He wanted to deal with Usagi now. He had had enough of thinking
empty thoughts. She had seemed startled and shocked when he had left her.
He hoped she had understood. He hadn't meant for his emotions to gain
control of his mind. But he had the feeling that if she had read his book,
she would have understood. Because didn't she know how he felt? Being in
love with somebody he could not reach. Even Usagi had done the same mistake
to him, by kissing him when she thought he was Tetsu. It had been the
exact same thing. Just that with Mamoru, he had realised he was falling in
love with Usagi. And that kiss had awakened his feelings for her.
Sharla answered the door when Mamoru returned. Usagi could hear their voices
from her room. She had left her door ajar. Mamoru sounded a little pleased
with the surprise visitor.
"Is this rose for me?" Sharla teased him.
"No," Mamoru blushed. "Sorry."
Mamoru avoided her advances on him and walked straight past her.
"Mamoru I have to talk to you," she told him seriously.
He looked at her, puzzled. Sharla sat down on the couch and gestured for
him to join her. He sat down beside her obediently.
"I was thinking about us..." Sharla whispered.
"There is no us," Mamoru replied bluntly. "If that's what you came here
for, then leave. I don't want to talk to you Sharla. I'm not in love with
you and I never will be."
"Because of her?"
She saw the confusion in his expression.
"Your dear beloved princess," Sharla reminded him.
"Sharla, you're married. That in itself is a fact that you should start to
think about," Mamoru told her coldly and started to get up.
Sharla pulled him back down, tugging sharply at his arm. He shook her off
and walked over to the door. He opened it.
"Get out Sharla."
Sharla sighed, then started walking slowly towards Mamoru and the door.
"If only I had blue eyes," she grinned at him. "Then you'd be mine in a
second."
Mamoru swallowed hard and contained himself. He watched Sharla leave and
slammed the door behind her. How she expected him to crawl at her feet
once more was a mystery to him. Then, Mamoru heard the careful sound of
a door closing. He looked around and his eyes rested on Usagi's door.
Had she heard everything? Was she listening?
Usagi heard a gentle knock on her bedroom door. She opened it slowly,
her eyes meeting with Mamoru's worried eyes. She smiled.
"Can I come in?" Mamoru asked.
Usagi simply nodded and let him in. She closed the door.
"If it's about.. what... happened," Usagi murmured. "I know. I understand."
Mamoru sighed in relief. So she wasn't angry at him. But he wondered why
she looked incredibly calm and relaxed with him.
"You aren't.. upset about what I did?" he asked.
"No, of course not. I mean I did it to you the first night I was here,"
she smiled softly. "It's okay."
"But wait, I.." Mamoru opened his mouth to tell her how he felt.
Usagi walked up to him and placed her finger on his lips.
"It's okay, I know," she smiled.
Mamoru took her hand away, holding her wrist gently. Usagi was getting
used to his cold hands now. Her warmth comforted him.
"Tetsu rang me," he spoke up. "He said he's coming back in two days."
"Really?" Usagi murmured.
Mamoru nodded and looked at her. He didn't let go of her wrist.
"Could you do me a favour Mamoru san?" Usagi asked him quietly.
"Anything," he smiled.
"Can we go out to dinner tomorrow night?" she whispered, as if she
was afraid that Tetsu would hear it. "Since it will be the last
time we'll be together. I want to thank you for letting me stay
here and looking after me."
"It'll be my pleasure," Mamoru replied, barely moving his lips as
their eyes stayed fixed onto each other.
Usagi felt him bringing her hand to his lips. There was a comfortable
understanding that they shared. The understanding that they both had
what the other wanted.
----
END OF PART 5
----
A.N. Now Minako chan, don't get out your chainsaw again x_x; And yes, the
next part will be the end! *huahuahauhaua* Yes I'm evil. So what else is new?
The ending I guess was a little... weird? Don't worry, it gets weirder in
the next part ^_-;
Teaser:
Part 6 - Do You Choose This Man...
He leaned against the wall and rang home. Usagi answered,
sounding overly enthusiastic at the sound of his voice.
It made him so hopeful that it made him feel pathetic that
he wanted somebody else's wife.
"Usagi," he murmured without the formalities. "I'm caught
up in a conference and I don't know how long it'll last.
We're going to have to cancel dinner. I'm sorry."
"Oh.." her voice fell.
Mamoru wished she'd stop making him feel hopeful.
