Author: Elizabeth Wilde
Title: Selfless, Cold and Composed
Series: Learning How to Smile #3
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who wants it and asks, http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj [my site]
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or the song "Selfless, Cold and Composed" by Ben Folds Five, who have unfortunately broken up.
'Ship: none
Classification: angst
Summary: Jean and Scott complete the separation process.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: none
Feedback: to wilde_Moon@yahoo.com
Notes: Entirely the song's fault. I had intended originally to use only Everclear songs in the series, actually... but plans are made to be changed, I suppose. You can see the HTMLd version with a pic at http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/scc.html

I said what you wanted to hear
And what I wanted to say
So I will take it back
Are all the dishes intact?
Let them be broken

It's easy to be
Easy and free
When it doesn't mean anything
You remain selfless, cold and composed

...You don't owe me to be so
Polite
You've done no wrong
You've done no wrong
Get out of my sight

It's easy to be
Easy and free
When it doesn't mean anything
You remain
Selfless, cold and composed

Come on baby now throw me a right to the chin
Don't just stare like
You never cared
I know you did
You just smiled
Like a bank teller
Telling me blankly
Have a nice life

Come on baby and throw me a right to the chin
Just one sign that could
Show me that you give a shit
But you just smile politely
And I grow weaker and I
Said what you wanted to hear
And what I wanted to say
So I will take it back

It's easy to be
Easy and free
When it doesn't mean anything
You can remain
Selfless, cold and composed
~ Ben Folds Five "Selfless, Cold and Composed"

"Got the room?" Scott asked, his voice painfully even as he sat at the desk. He had heard Jean's entrance, of course, but he remained seated with his back turned to her. To someone who knew him, someone like Jean, the tension in his shoulders was obvious, his posture a bit too straight.

Jean stepped into the room and hesitated, surprised to find herself so soon a stranger to the place she and Scott called home at the end of the night together for so long. Already it seemed cold and distant. "Of course." Xavier naturally expressed his concern before giving his full approval to her moving out, but he would never consider standing in the way of the personal lives of his students; moreover, he understood her words. The woman almost smiled at the remembrance of the words. "I'm afraid to say I actually saw this coming..." The near-smile turned into the internal equivalent of a sob and Jean moved deeper into the room.

Rising suddenly enough to startle Jean, Scott turned, stood, and started toward her. There were tear tracks on his cheeks and she could see now that his hair was uncombed, his shirt slightly wrinkled. "Don't leave." A note of desperation missing before now seeped into the words like a cloying wine, momentarily dulling Jean's resolve.

She opened her mouth to say she would stay, wouldn't ever leave, then closed it again and shook her head. "I need to. We both need it, Scott. We aren't... it isn't working anymore, and we both know it."

"I don't-"

"You do."

The words, spoken quietly and without any trace of anger-or anything else for that matter-seemed a breaking point. Scott's jaw set and he took a step closer. "You wanted me to yell? To... to... fight with you? What about you? Jesus, Jean, you're throwing me away like the years we spent together didn't mean shit and you haven't even batted a fucking eyelash!"

The redhead stood stock-still. Scott never cursed. Ever. "S-scott, I-"

"You're sorry? You hope we can still be friends?" Scott's mouth twisted into a frightening mimicry of a smile. "I don't want to be friends. We were friends for... for a long time. Then we realized it could be more. And I'm not going back."

"All or nothing?" Jean said calmly. Her mind reeled, and the only thing she could find to counter Scott's suddenly passionate words was reason, the calm he always displayed. "Isn't that a little-"

"Childish. Absolutely. I love you, Jean, and... maybe I've done things wrong. Maybe I handled this whole thing... It doesn't matter! We're worth more than this. It was just a stupid fight! We can't throw-"

"We aren't. Not because of 'a stupid fight', anyway," Jean clarified. She clasped her hands in front of her and then began twisting the engagement ring on her finger. "We've... we've been falling apart and... I think everyone... I think we didn't want to see it. You still don't."

"Jean-"

"This is what needs to happen, Scott." With a final twist, the ring slid off, and Jean held it out. "Take it."

Scott's hand shook as he complied. Arguing didn't help. He had yelled and he had asked her to stay. He had told her what he thought. Still he found himself standing in the middle of their room-his room-and holding her engagement ring. It must have been hours later when Scott finally realized he hadn't moved yet, that he still stood in the room with the ring, Jean long since gone.