CHAPTER TWO
"So, what's up?" Eva asked.
"Everything. Yesterday it was Jake. Then Cooper. And on Friday it will be Charlie."
"Jake? Who's he?"
"This guy, he lives in Indiana. We went out on a date and I really really really like him. But yesterday I found out that he has a girlfriend."
"Player." Eva said.
"Yeah."
"So, if you don't mind me asking, why did you and Charlie break up? I mean, it was literally over night. On Friday you two were all over each other over here. Then you go home and on Saturday you're not even talking. Charlie won't tell me anything other than that he misses you."
Jody sighed. She hadn't told anyone why they had broken up yet. She could barely admit it to herself. "He proposed." Jody said softly.
Eva squeaked. "Oh! And?"
"I said no."
The room fell silent.
"WHAT???" Eva screamed.
"I said no."
"WHY?"
"I don't know."
"I thought you loved him! And like I said, you two were all over each other over here that Friday. You were sitting on his lap and you two could not stop kissing and touching and smiling and… my god, it was like gross. What happened?"
"I dunno. I do love him. I mean I did. Ah! I'm so confused! I just don't know!"
"Ok, ok, calm down girl! Sorry I asked. So, what else is new?"
Jody skipped over Cooper and went back to Charlie. "Me and Charlie are hanging out on Friday."
"Like a date?"
"No, like 2 friends, at least that's what he calls it. I'm gonna go see his new ballet on Friday, and then we are going out for dinner."
Eva smiled and nodded. "Cool."
"What?" Jody exclaimed.
"What?"
"Why are you smiling like that?"
"Do you still love Charlie?"
Jody looked down at the end of the bed. "No."
"No?"
"No. I mean, I did, once. But you don't see someone that you're not with anymore for over a month…"
"Jody?"
"Ok! Fine! I still love him! Happy?"
'Sure. But then how come you said no?"
Jody sighed. "I don't know."
"Well, why didn't you say no?"
"I love him."
"Well that helps us a lot."
Jody smiled at Eva. "Can't we talk about something else?"
Eva smiled back. "Sure."
***FRIDAY NIGHT***
Jody sat in the audience and watched Charlie dance. She hadn't seen Charlie dance in a long time. The last time was in Charlie's room. It was very dark and Charlie had been naked. Jody pushed that image out of her head and watched him dance. She looked over at the thin girl sitting next to her and remembered the conversation that they had had earlier.
"Hi! Are you a ballet dancer?" The girl had asked once Jody was settled in her seat.
"Yeah. I'm a principle at the Cooper Neilson Dance Company."
"Oh, great. Do you know anyone in this ballet?"
Jody nodded. "Yeah. Charlie Sims, he's the lead."
The girl nodded and heard the weird tone in Jody's voice when she had said Charlie's name. "Is he like your boyfriend or something?" She asked politely.
"No." Jody said quickly.
"Did he used to be?"
"Yeah."
"Ah! So you must be Jody Sawyer!"
Jody looked at her in surprise. "Yes. How did you know?"
Oh. Charlie talks… talked… about you all the time. Non-stop. It's always Jody this and Jody that, it's amazing how much he managed to say about you."
Jody raised her eyebrows. "Oh, so you know him?"
"Yes. I'm Caity Smith. I'm a member of the company, here I mean."
"Oh, hi." Jody said, shaking Caity's hand. "Are you two friends."
"A little." Caity explained. "We talk a little when we can. I mean, sure, Charlie talks a lot, but I've never heard anyone go on about anything the way he does… did… with you."
Jody smiled.
"So, how long were you two together?"
"Four years." Jody said, holding up 4 fingers so Caity wouldn't mistake "four" for "for".
"Wow! I have to say this, but, you were so lucky! Charlie is the greatest guy I have ever met! So, why'd you break up?"
Jody sat up really straight. "He, uh, I…" Jody sighed, "I dunno. We just did." She lied.
Caity nodded and turned to the stage. "Oh, look, it's starting."
Jody turned and watched the ballet.
*** LATER THAT NIGHT ***
Jody waited outside of the stage door for Charlie. He came out, his arms around some girl with long drown hair. Her face was almost identical to Jody's and she weighed the same and looked about the same height. He turned and saw Jody. He smiled and waved, butt kept on walking with the girl. Jody watched him leave.
How could he do that? She had told him way too many times how much Cooper had hurt her when he did that not to know better. Maybe he was getting back at her for saying no and breaking his heart. Jody decided that that was unlikely. Charlie would never ever do anything that mean, especially to her.
She decided she'd just call Charlie later, and she went home. She went home and called Charlie once every hour, but he wasn't home until 3am.
"Hello?" Charlie answered the phone sleepily.
"What happened to our plans?"
"Oh, hey Jody. Look, let me explain. Babsey is-"
"Babsey?"
"Yeah. She's just a friend. She broke-up with her boyfriend right before the performance and she really needed me there for her tonight."
Jody could relate, Cooper did the same for her, but she took that and turned it around in Charlie's face. "Hmmmm… Sounds familiar." Jody said, coldly.
"I'm sorry Jody! Please! Can't you just drop it? I'm really sorry, ok?! I wanted nothing more tonight than to hang out with you! But something came up and Babsey's life isn't all that stable and she was talking like you would not believe…. Jody. I just didn't want her to kill herself tonight, okay? I'm really sorry."
Jody listened to this and sighed. Charlie was so sweet. But she could tell by the urgency in his voice that he needed her to forgive him. He wanted her to forgive him, he still loved her. "Ok. I'm sorry I was so rude."
"Yeah. Hey, do you mind if I ask you a question?
"Sure, go a head."
"Do you… no… um… ok. Why?"
"Huh?"
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"You know exactly what!"
"Yeah, well…" Jody couldn't even admit to herself why she said no. How could she be expected to tell Charlie? But Charlie was so easy to talk to…. "I was scared."
"Scared? Of what?"
Jody sighed. "Scared. I was scared of everything. You, me, life, everything. I was afraid of you falling for someone else, because I know I'm not the best girl you could have. I don't… didn't… deserve you. I was afraid that maybe I'd fall for someone else because, let's face it, I do that easily. I was scared it wouldn't work out and we'd both get hurt. Or that, well, just the idea basically scared me. I mean, being with one person, for the rest of your life, until you die. And you don't die until you're like 157! And I know I don't deserve you. You were always always there for me when I needed you. And that made me feel soooo good. But I think I was ever there for you, even once. And I'm your first, but Cooper was mine and I always felt really bad about that. Because he sorta ruined the whole special thing. So, I was just afraid of everything."
"So you're saying that it was special with me?" Charlie gloated.
"You're getting off the point."
"Oopps. Sorry. Well, let me tell you something Ms. No Confidence, you don't have to be afraid of anything. Especially not me. And even more especially, not love. Love is the best thing there ever was, and if you're afraid of it, you'll never have the best thing. And you'll always be sad and every time you do find someone you love, you'll lose them. You don't have to be afraid of anything."
"Easier said than done."
"Yeah. I know. But listen, you are the best I could ever do. Don't ever ever even think about not being good enough for anyone. You were the best girlfriend I ever had and whomever you end up with is the luckiest man alive. And I never cared about you and Cooper, I mean, why should that matter?"
Jody smiled. "Has anyone ever told you how sweet you are?"
"Yeah. You. About 500 times… a day." Charlie teased.
Jody laughed. "Oh, hey! I meet Caity Smith."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. She's nice."
"Yup. I guess. I mean, we aren't really friends."
"Yeah? You're not? She seemed to know a lot about you though."
"Well, she has this totally huge crush on me."
"Oh, yeah, I see what you mean. She kept on saying how great you were and how lucky I had been. Oh, by the way, you were great tonight."
Charlie smiled. Tons of people had always told him what a great dancer he was, but the only person's opinion he ever had cared about was Jody's. "Thanks."
"Sure." Jody yawned.
"Tired?"
"A little."
"Go get some sleep then."
"No. No, that's ok. I don't mind talking."
"Really?"
"Yep, sure."
"Good, because I have another question." Charlie said.
"Yeah."
"Did you ever love me?"
Jody rolled her eyes. "Yes."
"How much?"
"More than the whole world or anything in it."
"Ok. Then do you still love me?"
Jody blinked. "Why?"
"Cuz I wanna know."
"Well, I dunno. I'm not really sure."
"Oh."
"Why? Do you love me?" Jody asked.
"Jody-" Charlie began softly.
"Charlie!"
"Yes! Yes! I do!"
The line was silent for a good 3 minutes before anyone said anything.
"I have to go." Jody said frantically.
"Wait!" Charlie almost yelled. "Can we get together this Friday?"
"You know what? I don't think I can. I… I have plans with Cooper that night."
"With Cooper? As in Neilson?"
"Do you know another?"
"Why Cooper?"
"Yeah, see, he's actually really nice."
"But… I… I thought…"
"I have to go." Jody repeated and hung up in a hurry.
A few seconds later her phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey. Just listen to me for a while play? I have no one else to talk to and I'll explode if I don't say any of this. Ok?"
"Sure hunney, go a head."
"Ok. I love you. I love you. I love you. Over the past… 5 years, I've loved you more everyday, from day one. Way back on August 29th, 2000. I walked into that room and you looked beautiful. I knew I'd love you for the rest of my life. It just felt like fate, but I guess not. I can hardly stand it! I can barely think about you. But to talk about you! And now to talk with you! And then to HANG OUT with you! I mean, you have no idea. I try to talk to Erik, but he doesn't really seem to get it. All he can do is be sympathetic. And Eva… well she's just Eva. Know what I mean?"
"Totally. Look, Charlie, I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For hurting you."
"It's okay."
"Really?"
"Well, as about as okay as it will get about now."
Jody smiled. "Tell me what you're thinking."
"I was just wondering if you were flirting before. And if we'd ever get back together. What were you thinking?"
"How hot you are." Jody smiled, "And that night at the salsa club when we were in ABA. That was the day Jonathan told me I had bad feet and that I couldn't be a dancer. Eva made me go to cheer me up. It worked."
"Yeah. And now I'm wondering if you're flirting again. I'm also thinking about how when we danced that night, I grabbed you butt and crawled along the floor, holding it." Charlie laughed.
Jody rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well you touched my butt plenty of other times after that night."
Charlie blushed and smiled, biting his tongue. "Yeah, I did. But hey, remember the last time we went to that club?"
Jody laughed, remembering that night. "Yeah. That was so fun."
"Yeah." Charlie said, getting a little sad. "I have to go now, bye."
"Bye." Jody said softly and hung up.
She quickly picked the phone back up, and then slammed it back down. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. For some reason the tears wouldn't fall. She picked up the phone and slowly dialed.
"Hello?" Charlie's tired voice answered.
"Hey," Jody gulped, "I have to tell you something."
"What?" Charlie asked. He knew it was Jody, he could pick out her voice 6000 miles away in the middle of a crowd. He also knew by the tone of her familiar voice that she had something really big to tell him. "You can tell me."
"I know, I can tell you anything, I always have."
"Yes, you have. So, what's the news."
"Yes."
"Yes?" Charlie asked, trying to think of all the questions that he had asked her.
"Yes, I do still love you."
