It's All An Illusion Part 1
By: Nancy H.B. (charismamidday@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: SLASH Draco & Harry
Summary: Falling in love with an illusion. Harry's POV
Author's Note: This is not a happy fic, I was in a weird mood and this is what came out... It is SLASH.. You have been warned. If this isn't your thing, don't read.
Disclamer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. J.K Rowling has that priviledge.

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Do you know what is the worst thing about love? It's not as some might think loving someone who doesn't love you back. It's not even a love that has died. No. The worst thing about love is being in love with an illusion.

As I stare in the face of my illusion, I see death. I am beyond thinking there's some kind of mistake. I simply accept. It was an illusion. Nothing more. Nothing less.

In these moments I can't help but remember how all of this started, when reality left.

*****

It was the beginning of my 6th year at Hogwarts. We had been back for a few weeks already and I was glad to be back home, for this school really is my home. Not that place where I grew up and I spend my summer at. No, I'd never call that little house on Privet drive my home.

I was on my way to the Gryffindor common room when it all started. I had just finish eating and was going to join my friends when reality decided to pack up and leave.

"Harry, can I speak to you?" someone asks behind me. I turned around to face the body the voice belongs to. I groan when I realize that it belongs to none other than my nemesis, Draco Malfoy.

"What do you want now, Malfoy? Came to have another cracked at me?" I asked the other boy giving him the coldest look I could muster. It wasn't as easy as it sounds. No matter how horrible Draco has been to me and my friends in the past years, I still want to believe that there is good in everyone. That they simply need the chance to show it. I don't know what it is about Draco but I want him to give me the chance to see the good in him. Not that this means I trust him. No I trust him about as far as I can throw him. But I am curious as to what he wants with me. Especially since he hasn't said anything wrong to me yet and usually the first thing to come out of his mouth is an insult in some way.

"No, I'm not here to insult you," he says softly, surprising me, causing me to gawk at him. He looked uncomfortable under my stare, like he half wanted to run away but hasn't the strength to. If I looked closely into his eyes, I could almost swear Draco was afraid. *Afraid? Malfoy? What could he possibly be afraid of? I thought. Draco never shows fear. I must be imagining things. *

"What is it then? I ask."

"Um..." Draco looks around the hallway we're standing in, as if to see if anyone if listening in on our conversation. If you can call it a conversation. *snort* He seems a bit edgy. "Could we go talk somewhere a bit more private?" He asks.

"Why would I go anywhere with you, Malfoy?! This is probably another one of your tricks to get me into trouble" I tell him.

"No! He quickly answers. I swear this isn't a trick. I really need to talk to you. It's important... please, Harry, you have to listen to me... I don't know what..." He leaves off still looking around as if someone will jump out of the shadows and attack him.

I look at him, he almost as a pleading look in his eyes. *He looks desperate. * I realized. He even said please. I never heard that word come out of Draco's lips. Never. *He also called me Harry. He never calls me Harry. It's always Potter. Never Harry. * But that's what he's been calling me since this conversation started I realize. I guess that and the look in his eyes is what made me want to hear him out, at the very least. I gave him a nod.

I turned around and started walking toward an empty classroom where we could talk. I didn't turn back to see if he was following me. If he wanted to talk, he would.

I walked into the classroom and turned around as Draco entered, closing the door behind him. *He looks nervous, and is he fidgeting? * I thought. He looked like he was trying to figure out how to form what he wanted to say. So I gave him a moment to compose himself as I took a moment to study him closer.

*He looks thinner. Thinner than before summer started anyway. His hair is also different. It looks more limp. Lifeless on his head. * His eyes thought are what strikes me the most. *They look... empty. * Gone is the cold sparkle that is usually always present in them. Now his eyes looked dull. * Gosh, I wonder what happened to him this summer to make such a drastic change in him*

He looks ready to speak so I turned my attention to him. "Harry, I...." It looks like he has something hard to say. "Yes?" I ask, urging him on.

"I... I need your help, Harry." He says desperately.

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To Be Continued