A Day at the Dragon's Neck Colliseum
"Welcome to the Dragon's Neck Colliseum, I'm your receptionist for the day...blah blah blah... I HATE THIS JOB! Do you know how hard it is for me, an OCTOPUS, to fill out application forms with only one tentacle?" Ultros cried.
"Can't say I do." the dark ninja replied.
"I wanted to work at the Opera House in Jidoor, but NOOOO! I hafta work here instead! I get to sit at this stupid desk, DAY AFTER DAY, and I have to do work! It's a hard, cruel world for an octopus like me..." here, Ultros blew his nose soppily on a handkerchief.
"Are you trying to make me and other potential customers go home so that this place won't get any business and it'll be forced to close down?" Shadow asked, barely stifling a yawn.
"Now there's an idea!" Ultros cried. "Now- do you want to hear about the fact that Mister Chupon actually gets to fight here although all he does is sneeze on people and spread cold germs, or the time I got myself stuck in a blender?"
"The blender incident." Shadow said, struggling to get himself untied from his chair.
"Well, it happened when I was an irresponsible young octopus." Ultros said, misty-eyed. "Now those were the days! The days when the sight of an octopus terrified the populace! Now people just point at me and laugh."
Shadow nodded, trying to look interested, but felt that if he didn't get loose within the next few minutes he was going to go berserk.
"Anyway, my mother always told me each morning - 'good night, dear, and stay away from the blender.' So of course I decided to see what was so darn bad about it! And they had it right on the kitchen counter, too! What idiots - say, am I boring you?"
Shadow yawned loudly as he tried to come up with a plan, one that wouldn't incude the fact that his foot had fallen asleep. "No, no, not at all...go...on..."
His eyes closed and the chair fell over onto its side because of the fact that his slight form had swayed. Ultros didn't notice.
"So that night I crawled out of bed as soon as my dad's snoring began to shake the house, and I went to the kitchen and climbed onto the counter. I stuck my tentacle in the blender and pressed the red button with another, and it started making this HORRIBLE whirring noise. Then I looked down and saw it was chopping my poor arm into itty bitty pieces! My mom came rushing out and spanked me and told me that if I ever went near a blender again she would stuff me down a toilet. My own mother!"
"Zzzz..."
"So the next morning, I went to the kitchen to get some cocoa crispies, when this alarm went off and lights started flashing and a dozen police cars pulled up to the house. My mom marched in, and dragged me to the bathroom. 'Do you know what I'm going to do, son?' she asked sweetly. 'No.' I replied. 'Well, FIND OUT!' she cried and stuffed me down the toilet. Then dad came in with a plunger, and...hey! Are you even listening to me?!"
Shadow opened his eyes and blinked. "Uh...sure. Of course I was!" he exclaimed indignantly. He tried to get the chair upright again, but only managed to get even more tangled up. Then he managed to get a hold of his knife and cut the ropes loose. He jumped up, and immediately fell down again.
"Oww...stupid foot!" he cried, trying to rip his boots off so that it could get circulation and he could stand.
Ultros ignored this. "So... do you want me to tell you about the time I -"
"NO!" Shadow screamed, standing up and bracing himself against the wall. "I came here to get a Striker, and that's what I'm gonna do!"
So he limped off to the Colliseum proper, cursing under his breath.
"You forgot your shoes!" Ultros called after him.
After Shadow got his boots and forced them on, he fell down the stairs. Then he staggered over to the arena, and told the man that he wanted a Striker.
"Striker?" the man asked. "Okay, then. Have fun."
A gigantic slug slithered over, belched, and fell on top of him with a loud thud that shook the whole building. He managed to crawl out from under it, but realized he was covered with slime. So he ran to the bathroom, but he slipped and fell down the stairs all over again. He finally managed to make his way to the hotel and went to his room to take a bath. He then realized that there was no hot water, but by then it was too late and he was soaked. So he went to get a towel and realized that there were none.
He threw on his ninja robes anyway, and went back downstairs. He told the man that he still wanted a Striker. The man raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything.
The slug was gone. This time it was a Rock Golem. It stomped over, stepped on Shadow, scraped him off the bottom of its foot and walked off.
So he got medical attention, and tried again.
He got flamed.
He got stomped.
He got frozen.
He got sliced open by a dissecting knife.
But did he give up? Nooo. After a rather lengthy nap in his hotel room (he had a nightmare and the person in the room next-door thought he was being murdered so he called security) he returned to the arena.
"Let me guess." the man said. "Striker?"
Shadow nodded.
"Well, go right on ahead."
So Shadow wondered what he was going to face now.
"Ungahh!"a huge yeti cried, flinging a huge bone mace at him before the dark ninja could even blink an eye.
The other 3 observers flinched. When Shadow woke up he was back in the hotel room, despite the fact that he had locked the door behind him.
"No lock's a match for Locke the treasure hunter!" Locke said.
"Thief, you mean." Mog the Moogle corrected.
"TREASURE HUNTER!" Locke screamed.
"Whatever," Sabin of Figaro said.
"If you join our party, I'll give you this Striker." King Edgar, also of Figaro, said.
And so Shadow joined their party and never had another slug fall on top him again!
"Welcome to the Dragon's Neck Colliseum, I'm your receptionist for the day...blah blah blah... I HATE THIS JOB! Do you know how hard it is for me, an OCTOPUS, to fill out application forms with only one tentacle?" Ultros cried.
"Can't say I do." the dark ninja replied.
"I wanted to work at the Opera House in Jidoor, but NOOOO! I hafta work here instead! I get to sit at this stupid desk, DAY AFTER DAY, and I have to do work! It's a hard, cruel world for an octopus like me..." here, Ultros blew his nose soppily on a handkerchief.
"Are you trying to make me and other potential customers go home so that this place won't get any business and it'll be forced to close down?" Shadow asked, barely stifling a yawn.
"Now there's an idea!" Ultros cried. "Now- do you want to hear about the fact that Mister Chupon actually gets to fight here although all he does is sneeze on people and spread cold germs, or the time I got myself stuck in a blender?"
"The blender incident." Shadow said, struggling to get himself untied from his chair.
"Well, it happened when I was an irresponsible young octopus." Ultros said, misty-eyed. "Now those were the days! The days when the sight of an octopus terrified the populace! Now people just point at me and laugh."
Shadow nodded, trying to look interested, but felt that if he didn't get loose within the next few minutes he was going to go berserk.
"Anyway, my mother always told me each morning - 'good night, dear, and stay away from the blender.' So of course I decided to see what was so darn bad about it! And they had it right on the kitchen counter, too! What idiots - say, am I boring you?"
Shadow yawned loudly as he tried to come up with a plan, one that wouldn't incude the fact that his foot had fallen asleep. "No, no, not at all...go...on..."
His eyes closed and the chair fell over onto its side because of the fact that his slight form had swayed. Ultros didn't notice.
"So that night I crawled out of bed as soon as my dad's snoring began to shake the house, and I went to the kitchen and climbed onto the counter. I stuck my tentacle in the blender and pressed the red button with another, and it started making this HORRIBLE whirring noise. Then I looked down and saw it was chopping my poor arm into itty bitty pieces! My mom came rushing out and spanked me and told me that if I ever went near a blender again she would stuff me down a toilet. My own mother!"
"Zzzz..."
"So the next morning, I went to the kitchen to get some cocoa crispies, when this alarm went off and lights started flashing and a dozen police cars pulled up to the house. My mom marched in, and dragged me to the bathroom. 'Do you know what I'm going to do, son?' she asked sweetly. 'No.' I replied. 'Well, FIND OUT!' she cried and stuffed me down the toilet. Then dad came in with a plunger, and...hey! Are you even listening to me?!"
Shadow opened his eyes and blinked. "Uh...sure. Of course I was!" he exclaimed indignantly. He tried to get the chair upright again, but only managed to get even more tangled up. Then he managed to get a hold of his knife and cut the ropes loose. He jumped up, and immediately fell down again.
"Oww...stupid foot!" he cried, trying to rip his boots off so that it could get circulation and he could stand.
Ultros ignored this. "So... do you want me to tell you about the time I -"
"NO!" Shadow screamed, standing up and bracing himself against the wall. "I came here to get a Striker, and that's what I'm gonna do!"
So he limped off to the Colliseum proper, cursing under his breath.
"You forgot your shoes!" Ultros called after him.
After Shadow got his boots and forced them on, he fell down the stairs. Then he staggered over to the arena, and told the man that he wanted a Striker.
"Striker?" the man asked. "Okay, then. Have fun."
A gigantic slug slithered over, belched, and fell on top of him with a loud thud that shook the whole building. He managed to crawl out from under it, but realized he was covered with slime. So he ran to the bathroom, but he slipped and fell down the stairs all over again. He finally managed to make his way to the hotel and went to his room to take a bath. He then realized that there was no hot water, but by then it was too late and he was soaked. So he went to get a towel and realized that there were none.
He threw on his ninja robes anyway, and went back downstairs. He told the man that he still wanted a Striker. The man raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything.
The slug was gone. This time it was a Rock Golem. It stomped over, stepped on Shadow, scraped him off the bottom of its foot and walked off.
So he got medical attention, and tried again.
He got flamed.
He got stomped.
He got frozen.
He got sliced open by a dissecting knife.
But did he give up? Nooo. After a rather lengthy nap in his hotel room (he had a nightmare and the person in the room next-door thought he was being murdered so he called security) he returned to the arena.
"Let me guess." the man said. "Striker?"
Shadow nodded.
"Well, go right on ahead."
So Shadow wondered what he was going to face now.
"Ungahh!"a huge yeti cried, flinging a huge bone mace at him before the dark ninja could even blink an eye.
The other 3 observers flinched. When Shadow woke up he was back in the hotel room, despite the fact that he had locked the door behind him.
"No lock's a match for Locke the treasure hunter!" Locke said.
"Thief, you mean." Mog the Moogle corrected.
"TREASURE HUNTER!" Locke screamed.
"Whatever," Sabin of Figaro said.
"If you join our party, I'll give you this Striker." King Edgar, also of Figaro, said.
And so Shadow joined their party and never had another slug fall on top him again!
