Chapter Two
Disclaimer: I don't
own any of these characters now, and I never will. Darn you Takahashi-san!!!
Stealing my Inu-Yasha like that....T_T
Anyway.....yes,
I am crazy, but no, I don't own any of these characters.
I can't believe
I'm doing this. She is going to pay dearly for every moment that I have
to spend in this torture chamber, this living hell.
"Here, Inu-Yasha,
hold this." She selects some random article of clothing- if you could dare
to call it that- and adds it to the rapidly growing pile in my arms.
"Now, lessee
here..." She pulls a list out of seemingly nowhere and consults it. "OK,
we have a shirt, a pair of shorts, umm....undergarments, and sandals for
each of you guys. All right, swimsuits next!!"
I still can't
believe I'm doing this.
She heads
toward yet another section of the store, eagerly followed by Shippo. Miroku
trails behind him. Am I the only one with common sense here? It wouldn't
surprise me if I was.
"Kagome? What's
a swimsuit?"
"It's clothing
made for swimming in, Shippo. Ah-hah! Here we are!!"
This must
be her natural element, here among these 'swimsuits'. She is busily browsing
shelves at a time, occasionally calling Shippo over to ask him something.
How can she move so slowly on the battlefield but be able to skim the shelves
here with almost demonic speed? I make a mental note to ask her that sometime.
"Inu-Yasha!
Come here, I've got some more stuff for you to hold!"
I really am
seriously considering slapping her now.
"On to the
changing rooms!" she announces as she dumps the burden into my arms. "OK,
Inu-Yasha, let's see what we've got." She grabs the top items of clothing
from the bundle I'm carrying and looks at it. "All right, these are Shippo's...oh,
that belongs to Miroku...that one's yours..." She continues on like this,
sorting items and handing them to whoever they are supposed to go to, until
I have nothing except my own items to carry.
"Now, the
dressing rooms for you guys are over there," Kagome directs us. "I can't
go in with you, for obvious reasons, so you guys are gonna have to help
each other with your clothes. Shippo, you remember how to work the zippers
and snaps and laces like I showed you, right?"
Shippo nods.
"Good. Shippo
can help you then. When you guys have all your stuff on, come out here
and show me, OK?"
"OK!" Shippo
replies cheerfully.
"Yes, Lady
Kagome."
I grunt what
could be mistaken for a 'yes'.
"Um...Miroku,
could you stop with the 'Lady Kagome' stuff for a while? I know it's proper
in your time and all, but here it just sounds weird."
"I'll try,
La- I mean, Kagome."
"There ya
go!" Kagome gives him a thumbs-up sign. "Now, what are you guys waiting
for? Go try the stuff on!!"
She talks
about this as if it is not a severe form of torture.
"Well? Go
on!" Kagome makes little shooing motions with her hands.
Finally, Miroku
starts moving and Shippo follows him. I start to watch them leave, but
Kagome glares at me ferociously and I am suddenly compelled to trail behind.
Have I mentioned
that I hate her lately?
Shippo takes
the lead and chooses a dressing room. The man at the counter near the entrance
looks at us strangely as we all enter the same dressing room, but a fierce
glare from me makes him quickly look away, frightened. Heh. I may be in
hell, but I've still got it.
"Wow, this
is sooo fun, don't you think?" Shippo chatters as we get ourselves situated
in the dressing room.
"Well...I
suppose it is...." Miroku seems to be humoring the child.
I start to
make a cutting comment, but then I take a look at what she has picked out
for me. "What IS this?!" One item looks like a tight, deep red kimono top
with most of the sleeves torn off. The next resembles the baggy bottom
half of my normal attire, but with the bottom half of the leg material
cut off. It is made out of a stiff, dark blue material. The sandals and
the undergarments, at least, I can figure out. They are slightly familiar.
"What makes her think that I would even want to try these...these things
on?!"
"Inu-Yasha,
it's just clothing. For crying out loud, don't be so difficult."
"And," Miroku
adds, "whatever it is has to be more comfortable than what we're wearing
now."
He has a point.
"This had better be worth it," I mutter.
"So, Shippo,"
Miroku turns to Shippo and asks, "How do we get these items on?"
"Umm...well..."
Shippo seems to be thinking hard, most likely a new experience for him.
"You guys can figure out the undergarments, I think. I guess we should
start with that-"
"Correction.
We should start with: how the hell do we get out of these ridiculous clothes?!"
I snap.
Shippo looks
taken aback. "Um. OK. Do you remember the way Kagome showed you how to
get into these?"
"Of course
I do."
"Well, just,
ah, repeat that. It should work."
"...Right."
Why didn't I think of that?! I shouldn't have to depend on this child.
For a moment,
all I can hear is the sound of rustling fabric as we escape the vile clutches
of our garments. The undergarments are rather easy to get on. Finally,
something vaguely familiar in this gods-cursed place. Miroku and I face
Shippo again. I want to get this over with as soon as possible.
After some
trouble with the closures on the pants, I'm fully dressed once more. (The
shirt was fairly easy to get into; all it involved was pulling it over
my head.) I take a moment to look over myself and the others. I am wearing
the abhorred red short-sleeved garment along with the strange blueish short
pants. Shippo has on a yellow button-down shirt in the same style as mine,
and a pair of tan pants. Miroku is wearing a purple shirt and pants in
the same short style as mine, but they are much lighter. The articles of
clothing that Kagome has picked out for us are bizarre, to be polite about
it. But, then again, I've never been polite.
"Look at these
rags! Does she expect these things to be of any worth in a battle?!" I
demand, glaring at the monk and the kitsune.
"Eh, Inu-Yasha,"
Shippo ventures, "It doesn't matter. I mean, in this time, no one has to
fight demons. We're the only ones who have, and that doesn't matter anyway.
We won't be fighting anyone either."
"Of course
we will! There's a shard here, isn't there?"
Miroku snorts.
"What's so
funny, monk?" I snap at him.
Grinning,
he looks up at me and says, "We all know that that's just a line Kagome
fed you to get you to agree to come here. There's no shard here."
"WHAT?!?!?!"
Miroku stares
at me. "You mean...you didn't know?"
Shippo bursts
into laughter. "What a moron!"
If looks could
kill, that little brat would be six feet under by now.
The monk sighs.
"Sometimes your density amazes me," he murmurs.
Oh, this is
too much. First that little witch drags me into this strange time and tortures
me in this marketplace. Then I find out that her whole reason for dragging
me here is a lie. She is going to pay dearly for this.
"That's it,"
I mutter more calmly than I feel. "I'm going to kill her!!"
With that,
I stride furiously toward the door of the dressing room. "I'll be back,"
I spit before slamming the door open. Unfortunately, I am a little too
enthusiastic about it. The door goes flying off of its hinges and nearly
hits some nearby old crone.
"Umm, excuse
me, sir?"
I whip angrily
around. It's the same salesperson as before. "What is it?" I growl dangerously.
"You're going
to have to pay for that door."
