Letters

By: Solicitude Echoes

Someone writes a letter to Ken about their friendship…

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't own!!

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Dear Ken,

I read your letter and nearly cried. Okay, so I know I really am bad at keeping in touch with people unless they go to the same school or live like a block away from me but that doesn't mean I'm not your friend. You know what I felt when I read that letter? Pain. Sadness. Anger. Pain because I didn't know that this was how you felt like. Sadness because I didn't do anything about it or even detect it. Anger because…well, think about it. Put yourself in my place. Come on, you know you'd be angry at the person. I try not to be angry but it's still in me. But…must you curse at me? That was why I was angry. "Treat you like a piece of shit" were your exact words. That hurt. A lot. I know…I'm overly sensitive. That's just the way I am.

And of course I want to still be your friend that is if…you still actually give a damn about me. I really wouldn't mind for a second chance you know what I mean? I would try to be a good friend. But don't expect so much of me. The reason I type up this story is the fact that I find that I can type a lot better than I can write. My handwriting is also atrocious so it's a good thing that I am actually typing this up. If you are willing enough to give me a second chance…that would mean the world to me. To you, I may be a piece of shit but to me you are still my best friend. Nothing can change that whether you hate me or not. It'll remain in my memory forever. I'll understand if you never want to talk, write, or see me ever again. If you are that angry with me, it's a possibility right?

But just remember all the good times we used to have. When we were in fifth and sixth grade we were inseparable. And listen, I would ask my mom to hang out with you, but you have to tell me for sure that you two can go before I ask. The reason I ask my mom so quickly with my other friends is because they tell me that they can go for sure. It's the fact that you live so far away now that makes it so hard for us to hang out together. You probably lead a very busy life. If you let me try to be your friend or any where near a friend, I will try soooooo hard to keep that friendship alive. I've been a horrible friend. I don't even think I should consider my self a friend any more, huh? You're right. I'm horrible, mean, and inconsiderate. Call me these things if you want to but I still want to be your friend. I'm not sure if that letter was like, "You're done. You're over with!! I never want to talk to you ever again!" or was it like, "Look, you'd better start being a better friend, or I'll just abandon you." Hopefully, it was the second one. Then maybe…MAYBE, I may still have a chance.

You have to understand how hard it is for me to write this. My best friend just sent me a letter saying, "You'd better shape up, or you're through." Maybe you are already through with me. Do you hate me? Do you never want to see my face ever again? Do you ever even want to hear me ever again? Answer these questions. I feel horrible right now. But I know it was my fault. My fault for not trying to keep in touch with you, for being the usually selfish me. I just hope that we can still be friends after this. All friendships go through tests right? As we get older, the tests get harder. You passed the hardships of friendships, I guess it's my turn to see if I will pass, or will I fail and lose the closest friend I ever had? Hmm…who knows…I just have to await your response to this letter. If it's positive, trust me, I will change and become better. If it's negative…well…I don't even want to think about it. I'll probably bawl my eyes out and become one of the most depressed people ever known to this planet!! Okay, I was just exaggerating on that part, but I seriously will change if you give me a second chance. I just hope…it's not too late for that.

If this seems a little short, I guess it kind of is maybe. But it's the computer; everything looks short with the computer. When I heard you write that when your parents ask you, "Oh what happened to your other friend?" and you say, "What other friend?" or "Why should I call him or write to him? It's just a waste!" Ouch…could you be any harsher? Look, I know you two are seriously pissed of with me. You probably wish I inhaled some anthrax and died, don't you? I kind of wish I did. If you have any compassion left for me…please realize it. I'm being selfish again aren't I? You know what's going in my head right now? A mixture of feelings that I can't even begin to describe. Please…I'm begging both of you…give me a second chance to be a better friend. I'd give almost anything for a second chance.

Thanks.

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