Note to Disclaimers: I do not and never will own Digimon. Oh but if I did, I'd be sure to change the end so that Tai married Sora. TAIORA FOREVER PEOPLES! Ok, aside the sudden outbreak, I really don't won Digimon, so please don't sue me. Enjoy my fic! ~SAMENIA

A SHADOWED FATE

'What did they expect me to do?' I ask myself. 'I can't just go up and say hey Tai, sorry about the concert, oh and sorry about dating Matt.' Sighing heavily, I sullenly make my way to the cafeteria. Lunchtime goes by very slow. I'm poking at my food when Matt sits down next to me. I feel my body tense. 'Go away Matt. I don't need your apologies or condolences you asshole.' I think warily. Matt always seems to think he's better than everybody else around is. 'Yeah, fat chance. He's not better than Tai, no matter what anyone tells me.'

"Hey Sora." Matt says.

"Hi." I reply, my voice bland and direct. "What do you want?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to say sorry about last week. I didn't mean to be so harsh." Matt pats my shoulders. "We can always give it another try."

My anger flares instantly. "No." I say quietly. "I don't want to give it another try. I've decided that I don't want to see you anymore."

"What?" Matt gives me a puzzled look. "Sora, if there's anything I've done, please tell me. We can work it out."

"I said no Matt." I stand and begin to leave. Before I exit I turn to him again. "Get over yourself Matt Ishida. You're not the one I love and that's because you're not the one for me."

I hear him gasp. "Sora! Wait!"

I continue through the cafeteria doors, humming a tune that fits my mood. 'I can't believe I went out with that bigheaded jerk. He didn't even thank me for those damn cookies.' I laugh to myself at that thought. 'I know who would've though. Why did I do this? Why couldn't I have realized it sooner?' My shoulders sag and my head droops despite the fact I'm walking with tons of people. Ever since I started seeing Matt, things between Tai and I seem edgy. We'd still hang out, even when Matt was there, and I know it made Tai sad. 'I'm stupid. I'm a baka.' I think helplessly. The bell rings loudly, signaling that it's time for 5th period. The class is Calculus and I happen to have it with Tai. Today the assignment seems ok, until I learn that we have partners. 'Just my luck.' I fume. 'I get stuck with my best friend and I feel like a stranger around him. Not a bright way to end the day.'

"Hey Sora." Tai greets politely. "Are you ready for this assignment?"

"Huh? Oh...no." I look in the other direction. 'I'm not ready for anything anymore.'

"Are you feeling all right?" He asks. "You look sad. Something wrong with you and Matt's relationship?"

'Uh sure...just about everything!' I want to tell him but fear keeps me from say anything of that sort. "No. I broke it off."

"Oh? Why'd you do that?" He questions dully. "I thought you loved him? I thought things were perfect."

"They were." I reply sarcastically. "They were, until last week when he blew me off...AGAIN. I still can't believe he blew me off for that bitch Clara Tamkoi."

"That's whom he blew you off for?" He laughs.

I glare at him. "I don't think that's funny in any way." I hiss. "If you were going to laugh at me, why did you ask me?"

"I'm not laughing at you." He stops. "I'm laughing because Clara is not as pretty as you are. I wonder sometimes what Matt is thinking. I mean, at least if you're going to cheat on your girlfriend, do it with a pretty or even decent girl."

I sigh and lay my head on my arms. "Thanks Tai. I feel a whole lot better."

His eyes go dull for a minute. "Anytime."

Staring at the calculations on the paper in front of me begins to make my head spin. The equations start to blur and my head feels like it's going to pound my brains out. Grabbing it to stop the pain, I stumble out of my stool and fall to the ground. I see the blurry figure of Tai rush to me. He helps me up, steadying me as we head to the nurse's office. When there, she directs me to the bed. I hear them speak, Tai sounding unhappy and reluctant to leave. As soon as he's gone I sit up and feel a sudden rush of pain, causing me to lay back down.

"Don't worry Sora. It's probably just a headache. Here, take some aspirin and when you feel up to it, go back to class." The nurse says handing me some Tylenol.

I take them and wait five minutes before I get up to leave. Ok, I don't feel better but I don't want anyone to think it's anything serious. After rejoining the class I see Tai waving to me. I nod and walk over to him, letting him know that I'm fine. "Did I miss anything?"

"Nope, but that was quick." He gestures to my head. "Bad case of the migraine?"

"Similar." I reply impassively. "Ready to get to work?"

He nods and we begin to solve the problems. Soon the bell rings and it's time to go home. 'Thank heavens it's short schedule today.' I close my locker and zip up my bags. When I arrive at the place where we all meet to walk, Only Tai, Kari, T.K., Ken, and Yolei are there. "Where is everyone else?" I ask.

"No clue. Last I saw Davis he was with Cody, Joe, Izzy, and Matt." Yolei says.

At the mentions of Matt's name my face turns sour and I roll my eyes. 'Mr. hot stuff is probably talking to girls with that bighead of his.' I start to walk away but Tai's shout stops me. "Hey Sora, aren't you going to wait for the others? They should be here soon."

"No." I say simply. "I'd rather walk home alone."

"Are you sure?" He asks. "If you want, I'll walk home with you."

"No I'd rather-" I stop myself and think a moment. 'I should, I know I want to.' I think about it for a few more seconds before turning back to Tai, a sparkle in my eyes. "Actually, take that back. Please, if it wouldn't be much to ask, I'd like you to walk me home."

Tai looks as if he was hit over the head with a mallet. "Uh...sure."

"See you guys tomorrow!" I say happily.

On the walk home...

The sidewalk seems to be alive, but I'm not. Tai is silent. 'He's been like that the whole time.' I nudge him lightly to get him to talk. He just nudges me back, his face never changing from its serious mien. I feel myself getting slightly annoyed but erase the feeling when Tai pulls my arm. "What is it?" I ask.

"I just thought, since it's early and all, that maybe you wouldn't mind If we stopped at the old soda shop." Tai responds. "Want to go? I'll buy you a root beer float."

"I guess so." I slowly take his hand. 'This would be like the date I never had, and never going to have.'

Inside the soda shop I'm browsing the various trinkets. All of a sudden a familiar gleam of blonde hair catches my eye. 'Matt? No way! That's too coincidental.' I start to walk closer and see that is it him. 'Gee, small world.' I'm about to huff away when Tai pulls my arm again. "Sora, there's a nice table over there. I ordered our floats. Let's go sit down ok?"

We both walk over to the table and sit down; Tai pulls my chair out for me to sit before he sits down. I thank him and look mindlessly at the table. Before I can go any further on my reflection Tai's voice interrupts my thought. "Hey Sora? Where did our friendship go wrong?"

"What?" I ask in a confused voice. "Something in it went wrong? But that's not possible or else we wouldn't be here."

"No, not true. I meant, what happened to make us so distant?" Tai looks at me with sorrowful eyes. "I know you just broke up with Matt. I don't believe, and I hope to the heavens, that you're not just using me because he's not there. I don't want to believe that. I don't want to jeopardize our friendship."

I feel hurt. "No, no Tai. I'm not using you. I would never do that. I enjoy being with you."

"But you enjoy being with Matt more. It does sound like you're using me." He shakes his head.

"How can you say that Taichi Kamiya? Please don't be like Matt!" I say to him with anger.

"Well, what'd you expect me too think? Oh hey Sora just broke up with her boyfriend, who just happens to be my friend, and now she wants to hang out with me, her old best friend, once again." He answers without ever changing his face. "How am I supposed to feel?"

Sinking back into my seat I reach over and sock his shoulder lightly. "Feel like you always do. I know you think I'm using you Tai, but I never would do that. I couldn't, to you." I see him ease a bit at that statement. 'Should I tell him now?'

"Hey Tai...uh, hi Sora."

"Hey Matt. What are you doing here?" Tai asks stoically.

"Just here." He looks at me. "Um...can I talk to you Sora?"

"Matt, I'm here with Tai. Can't you see that? Maybe later, since Tai and I are having a private conversation." I reply sourly. "See you around."

Matt gives me a somewhat sad look and gives Tai an angry glare before stomping off. Tai shrugs it off and laughs. "That was new. What's gotten into you lately Sora? The old Sora would never have done that."

"Nothing. I just...feel a bit empowered that's all. Plus, Matt's got a bighead and I don't plan on encouraging it." I spit bitterly. "I don't even like him that way. He's just a friend."

"Like me?" Tai asks as he leans back, his eyes unreadable.

"Not really. Tai, you're my best friend. Matt is just another friend." I smile; hoping that Tai's expression will change. It doesn't. 'What's up with him?'

"That's good to know." He smiles.

"Listen, Tai is there something you're not telling me? I want to know. You've been awfully quiet as well as weird since we started walking." I feel determined to know.

Tai sighs. "Ok, here it goes." He gives me the you-might-hate-me-for-this look and continues. "Well, I just started going out with Lana Abiosku. I just was thinking about what to give her for her birthday."

"Oh I...I see." I stutter. 'He likes Lana?' Ever since elementary school Lana had been my sworn enemy. She competed with me in everything. 'Now she's taken Tai.' I stand up in a rage of anger. "So, you're thinking of her when you're with me? Real nice Tai. I thought we were friends!"

"We are." He says calmly. "But then, if we are friends, nothing more, you shouldn't be so uptight about me dating Lana."

"GO FUCK YOURSELF TAI!" I shout and bolt out of the soda shop. I run all the way home, a wrenching feeling in my heart. 'How could he do this to me? Shut up Sora! You were dating Matt. He doesn't know you love him and not Matt. He can date people.' I slam the door to my room and throw myself, literally, onto the bed. Hugging myself with my arms, the tears of anger, hurt, fear, pain, and love for my best friend, begin to spill over. For the first time in two weeks I let myself go, letting the barriers be broken. 'I'm not strong enough to stop it this time. Why didn't he come after me?' All the thoughts give my head cramps and I fall asleep.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

'Did I really sleep that long?' Glancing at the clock I rub my sleepy eyes and turn on the light. It's dark now. 'Is it nighttime? Or is it early morning?' I take a quick look at my clock again, realizing that it's 6:00 AM. 'Guess I'm not going to be able to sleep again. Might as well go do something.' After dressing in my school clothes, I head out to the donut shop. Although class doesn't start until 8:00, I decide that an early breakfast can't hurt. I blindly sip at my hot chocolate, pondering what to do for the remainder of the day, dreading seeing any one of my friends. The sun is brighter now, alerting me that it's 7:00. I run back to my house, grab my bag, a piece of toast and go out the door. I rub my gloved hands together, hoping to create some kind of warmth. The winter air nips at my exposed skin like an animal gone on a feeding frenzy. My nose has turned a mild pink, due to the fact that I've been running.

As the school comes into view I see many familiar figures, one in particular. 'Tai.' He waves to me from across the yard. I lower my head, swerve to the right, and make a mad dash for homeroom. 'Thank heavens Tai and I don't have the same homeroom.' Once in my seat, I sink down, awkwardly relieved, awaiting the start of class. 1st period is in the morning as usual, today being science. I sigh in relief since Tai is not in science with me. Upon entering class a hand touches my shoulder. I turn and give the person a displeased look. It's Matt Ishida, the other person I've been avoiding. "What do you want Matt?" I ask coldly, trying to maneuver my way around him to my seat.

He stops me from doing such, his face determined and set. "We need to talk. If not here, then after school."

I huff and pull away from him. "No Matt. There is nothing to talk about. I really am busy so if you'll excuse me please."

He drops my arm and walks back to his seat. Science class drags by like and endless waltz. When the bell rings for 2nd period I'm out of my chair and running to room 305. 'It's too bad Mimi is gone or else I could tell her everything that's happening.' I feel sad that Mimi left. She was the only other girl my age that I could talk to. Even Kari and Yolei have people they can talk to. 'I used to have Tai, but now...but now I have no one.' I stare at my hands all through English class, knowing that break will prove trivial. Once I arrive at my locker I open it and change my books for 3rd and 4th period. 'Great, class with T.K., Kari, Ken, and Yolei.' It so happens that those two periods are my electives. I chose arts and drama. Seating myself on a bench, comfortably, I begin to nibble at my fruit bar. 'Doesn't mom know I hate strawberry?' I eat it anyways, refusing to let myself starve because I'm picky. From my vantage view I can see Tai making his way towards me. Never turning my head in his direction, I stand and bolt up the staircase, fleeing to the girl's restroom.

Breathing heavily I lean against the cool metal surface of the bathroom stall. I'm about to congratulate myself when a voice interrupts me. "Hey Sora. What were you running from? You seem awfully relieved." Kari says.

I smile brightly. "Oh, it was nothing Kari. I just had to go to the bathroom."

"Well, that's good that you made it. I think it's time for art class now. Let's go." She motions for me to follow.

I nod and do as shown. We both take our seats by T.K. and Yolei, our respective canvases in front of us. The teacher, Ms. Amaishi, sweeps into the room, her long purple skirt dusting the floor. She taps the front of her desk with her paintbrush, calling our attention form beyond. "Class, today I would like you to draw a picture of how you feel, and if possible, write a small poem or sentence telling what the picture means." Ms. Amaishi instructs. "Now, get to work!"

The classroom erupts into a loud jeer, each asking what the other will draw. T.K. and Kari are busy setting up their equipment, each smiling and helping each other. 'Like best friends should.' To my opposite side Yolei and Ken are arguing over who should get the red paint first. I chuckle to myself and select an ordinary black pen from my pouch. I figure to write the poem first. After I'm done with the poem I reach for my easel and start painting, furiously at first, but the subtle when I'm near finishing. When class is ended I go to drama. Unfortunately drama drags by like a lifetime, each minute a torturous reminder of 5th period. 'Calculus.' I think bitterly. Slamming my book bag down on the lunch table, I sit and gaze angrily at my notebook. 'Stupid poem. It's so damn true that it makes me sick.' I hastily shove the spiral in my backpack, ignoring the words I wrote for art class. I'm so caught up in my delirium that I don't even notice the person that takes a seat beside me.

"Hey Sora."

Before I register whom it is I speak, my voice low, frightened, and meek. "So, you feel like asking me out again? You probably think I'll just say yes because Tai is dating Lana. Well, I have news for you Matt Ishida; I don't need your sympathy or your support. I can hold my own."

"But Sora, it's me, Tai." The voce says.

My eyes widen in surprise as my hazy vision focuses on Tai's worried face. "What do you want?" I ask timidly.

Tai sets hi bag down and opens his orange juice carton. "Well," He takes a quick sip. "Earlier today I tried to get you, ya know, so we could talk, but I can't help but feel that you were avoiding me. To be perfectly honest, I still feel like you're avoiding me."

My cheeks turn a brilliant red. 'Caught in my own trap.' I look the other way, deliberately avoiding Tai's gaze. "You could say that."

"Well, what for then? Sora, what have I done?" He asks.

"It's nothing really. You see, I'm just confused and feeling quite traitor like right now. I also do feel betrayed but I know the person doesn't know the way I feel." I reply with a small smile. "I know that I've already hurt the person I love most and...and it would be too much to ask him to love me back."

"Who might that be?" Tai asks. "If he's being ignorant, I'll beat him for you."

"No need to go on a blood rampage Tai." I soothe with my voice. "You'll never find him because he lives in his own shadow."

"What?" Tai persists. "Please Sora, just tell me who he is."

In his voice I hear a speck of hurt, but it is so small that I don't bother taking it into consideration. "If I did, things would change between the two of us forever. Our relationship as it is, well, it's already fragile and awkward. I can't afford to pummel it to the spikes below the earth." I say and turn to leave. "See you in class Tai."

When the lunch bell rings, 5th period rolling around, I go to the nurse's office, fake sickness and go home. 'That was a breeze. I should do that more often.' I sigh as my mom drives the car home. She drops me off and goes to the market. In my room I lazily lay down, skimming though the various assignments that I received upon my early leave. I'm placing my spirals away when a paper, unnoticed flutters out. With a sigh of relief I rest my head to my pillow, instantly falling into a dream filled slumber of nightmares.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

'So many nightmares and all in one day. Sora girl, you've hit the jackpot.' The daylight hasn't quite passed. Outside my window the sunlight peeks through. With a tired yawn I stand and make my way to the restroom. 'Might as well go outside for some air.' Closing the door, I lock up and head to the park. Once there I carefully seat myself on the swing, which is becoming a bit small now. Pondering the thought of Tai, I begin to drift off into another world. Lazily kicking my shoes against the sand, I contemplate my current status as a human. Plaguing me like an illness, thoughts of fear and dread filter throughout my mind. 'Such bleak thoughts and all so hazy on subject.' Curling my fingers around the metal chains, a gust of wind shoos by, alerting me of the cold weather. 'Lovely day, won't you join me?' I think bitterly.

"Hey Sora. I've been looking all over for you."

I continue to stare at the sand. "Oh hey Kari. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just thought we could talk." Kari says. "Um...talk about Tai that is."

"Oh? Why is that?" I ask suspiciously.

"I guess it's because he's been acting weird." Kari sits down on the swing. "It really hasn't been that long. He's been acting like this since yesterday. I guess you could say that he's been acting distant and indifferent to everything, even to Lana. Isn't that a little more than odd?"

I nod slowly and feel my anger burn up at Lana's name. 'I can't stand her.' I shift in the swing, stepping off and standing in front of Kari. "It is more than odd, I suppose. Well, it was nice talking to you. Are you here with anyone?"

"Yes. Actually T.K. is over there with Ken and Yolei. Davis left right before we arrived here." Kari smiles. "I was glad I caught you before you left."

"Yeah." I respond. "Kari, you really like T.K. don't you?"

Kari blushes a bit and nods. "Yes, I do. I'm not sure he likes me back that way, but I can hope can't I?"

"Yes. I'm sure he does. I'm really sure he does." I say before I run off. "Have fun!"

The winter breeze stings my face like needles. I suppose running is the best if not also the worst part of the season. Up ahead I spot a figure. I think it to be Tai at first but when the hair comes into view, I realize that it is Izzy as well as Mimi. Sneaking up behind them I scream loudly in fun. "HEY IZZY! HEY MIMI!"

"AHHHH!" Mimi shrieks in fright, briefly jumping into Izzy's arms.

"It's ok Mimi." Izzy says. "It's just Sora."

"Oh!" Mimi grins brightly. "Hey Sora!"

"Mimi, when did you get back from America?" I ask excitedly. "I thought you were in school?"

"I was until I went on break last week. I thought is sensible to come back and visit my Izzy." Mimi laughs and kisses Izzy's cheek. He blushes. "See? Isn't he darling?"

"Mimi!" Izzy says.

"Yes. If you aren't busy later, would you mind coming over? There are some things I wanted to talk about with you." I say.

She nods. I thank her as she and Izzy walk off into the coffee shop. Once again I am alone, walking down the desolate streets, trying to ease the pain I have. 'Maybe if I had actually paid attention to my feelings, Tai and I would be together.' Sighing in defeat, I head back to the soda shop where Tai had bought me my float. Warm air embraces me as I enter, welcoming me for what seems like the first time in years. Removing my gloves, a seat at the counter grabs my eyes. Calmly I walk over and get ready to order. The waiter comes up and smiles at me.

"So, beautiful lady, what can I do for you today?" He asks.

"Um, well, could you get me a coconut-chocolate parfait? Oh, and with extra whip cream? If you can do that, you'll make my day." I reply.

"Anything for the lady." He says with a flirty smile and goes to fill my request.

After finishing the delicious parfait, smiling warmly at the nice, if not hot, waiter, I walk out. 'That was good.' I glance at my watch, noting the time is still too early to go to Mimi's. 'I think I'll go visit Cody and Joe.' The university is still lit up. I suppose it is because Joe is working late as well as Cody being in there with him. As I remember last time, Cody was sitting at the lab table, watching Joe with wide eyes. Chuckling at that thought I press the elevator button for floor 15. Shock fills me as the doors open, revealing Davis, Ken, and T.K. I feel vaguely better until I see two more figures emerge. 'Please, please, don't be Matt...or Tai.' I pray silently. My suspicion is confirmed when I see both Matt and Tai emerge, talking heatedly about something. I attempt to hide but Matt spots me all too soon. A feeling of disgust, as well as dread, creeps into my skin.

"Oh hey guys. Uh, what's up?" I stammer, avoiding Tai's eyes the whole time.

"Nothing much. We were just visiting Joe and Cody to see how Joe's latest experiment is holding up." Ken nods towards the room. "Well, Davis, T.K., and I are off to the movies with the girls so we'll see you later."

"Sure thing. Bye!" I giggle and wave them off, thinking that Tai and Matt are leaving as well. They don't. "Uh...Hi Matt. Hi Tai. Are you here for the same reason as the others were?"

Matt looks at me, his eyes calm and intense. "Actually Tai and I were just leaving."

Tai avoids my eyes and heads towards the elevator. "Matt is lying. I was actually leaving and Matt just came up here. Well, I'll see you later Matt...Sora."

With that, Tai walks to the elevator, the doors sealing him from my view. I feel somewhat relieved until I feel Matt's hand on my shoulder. "He'll be ok Sora. He's just upset about some things."

I push Mat's hand away in sadness. "No Matt. He doesn't love me. He told me so the other day after class ended. I just don't want to talk about. You'll think I'm mean and selfish if I tell you the truth. After all, I love him more than I love anyone else."

Matt observes me, taking in every detail of my visual self. "I can tell that you're mad. I can see it in you're body. You're muscles are tensing and you're eyes are twitching. Tai told me that happens when you're mad."

I smile as a tear slips down my cheek. "He knows me so well, Tai, and I just...I just can't take it anymore. I can't go on and I won't."

He pulls me to him. "Sora, what are you saying? This is suicide talk. This isn't like you."

The shine that was in my eyes fades. "I don't know what I'm like anymore Matt. I don't know who I am or what my feelings are anymore. I can't even choose the right person. My feelings were telling me the whole time and I didn't even acknowledge them. I made the wrong choice. I hurt the person I love."

Gently, I feel Matt pull me back and gazes into my eyes. "What are you saying Sora? You mean you didn't want to choose Tai? That was a mistake?"

I shake my head through my tears, settling into his embrace. "No and that was the biggest mistake of my life. I should've chosen Tai, and now...now I can't change it. I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life."

I feel Matt's fingers under my chin, lifting it carefully. "Wrong Sora. You won't have to...not if I can help it."

"Matt I...don't really...think we...should be...doing...this..." I start to say as our faces inch closer. "Matt...this is...wrong...I don't...feel..."

"I know...Sora..." He says. "But...maybe..."

I feel like a dull spark of electricity is shooting through me as Matt's lips cover mine. Tears roll down my cheeks. 'This is so wrong...I don't love Matt.' I start to pull away but Matt's embrace is too strong I sink back in it, feeling weak. The kiss is becoming more intense when we both hear someone's gasp. Matt and I pull away suddenly when we see Cody and Joe standing in front of us. 'Oh no...' I turn to the right and see Tai standing in front of the elevator.

"I just forgot something." He stammers. "Glad to see that...that your relationship is better. Guess I'll be...be going now."

I try to run after him but Matt pulls me back. I spin around and push Matt away in anger. "DON'T TOUCH ME MATT!" I scream at him. He backs away in confusion. With one last angry glare at him, I turn and run after Tai. When I exit the building I see Tai running down the street, his feet taking him farther than I'm going. 'Come on Sora! You're an athlete, you can catch him!' I go faster, eventually catching up to him and tackling him to the dew wet grass. He brushes himself off, stands, and offers a hand to help me up. Once we are standing I motion to a bench nearby. He nods and we both take an uncomfortable seat on the hard, damp, wood.

"What was that for Sora?" He asks with annoyance. "Now look what has happened? We're both wet and tired out."

"I couldn't let you go Tai. What you saw up there was not what you might think." I begin quietly. "That kiss with Matt...was a mistake. Matt relationship with me is not getting better. I don't love Matt that way. I tried to pull away but I suppose I was so emotionally distraught that I let it happen. It was as if I lost my mind in that split second. Please, Tai believe me."

Tai's eyes never change. "So what exactly are you saying?"

I take a deep breath. "I'm saying that I love you Tai. I love you." I say in a shaky voice.

I wait for Tai to respond but instead he gets up and looks at me with solemn eyes. "I can't believe that. After all that's happened, I just can't believe that. See you tomorrow Sora. Goodnight."

(Ok, that was kinda sad. In this story, Sora only gets three chances before Tai will leave her forever. As you can see she blew two of them already. Anyway, I hope to continue this soon. Thank! And please R&R!) ~Samenia~ ^_~