An Evangelion fanfiction by ShinRyuKen
Disclaimer: I don't own Eva or any of the characters, Gainax does... I think. I don't really pay much attention to these details. Anyhow, this fic is set during Episode 16, only the story is changed abit. Please excuse any OOCness, and Cheesiness, I'm feeling cheesy. ^_^;
Now, by popular demand...
Chapter 3 - Memories.
Asuka recalled when she found her mother hanging from the ceiling, a wide smile on her face. The doll which she had called Asuka had it's head torn off, and was lying on the ground beneath her. Asuka then recalled how her step mother and father rejected her, because she acted to grown up.
Asuka sighed frustratedly and tried to remove the thoughts from her mind. To hide them back where they came from. It hurt to much to remember it all again. Yet she knew it was true. Everyone she cared for left her, her Mother did. Her Step Mother did. Her Father did. Now Shinji was leaving her too.
Finally, after sitting there for several minutes with her eyes closed, Asuka looked up to see Rei Ayanami watching her, her expression seemed... curious.
"Why are you crying?" Rei asked.
"Back off Wondergirl." Asuka growled, swiping at her eyes.
Rei however did the exact opposite of what Asuka ordered and sat herself down next to Asuka, resting her hands down on the skirt of her school uniform. Asuka looked over at Rei and sighed in defeat, then closed her eyes again, and tried to think.
"You're worried about him, aren't you?" Rei asked.
"Who?" Asuka replied, though she knew who Rei was talking about.
"Ikari."
Asuka just nodded and rested her head in her hands, try to figure out what she did to deserve this. What Shinji did to deserve this...
"I am too." Rei claimed in the regular monotonous tone of voice.
Asuka looked at Rei out of the corner of her eyes. Rei did seem normal enough, other than the fact she had blue hair and red eyes. However, this young girl was far from normal. She knows very little of emotion or of the human soul. She is a calm spirit, passive, watchful. Asuka looked back at the floor and sighed. If Shinji had switched off everything except life support, he's been in there for about 12 hours. If not, then he's dead.
"Why do you care Wondergirl? You'd take your own life if you were ordered to, so why are you worried about Shinji!?" Asuka roared at Rei.
"I don't know..." Rei shrugged, then got up and walked away.
Leaving Asuka alone with her thoughts. Asuka looked around, nothing exciting to see. Afew food and drink dispensers, but nothing more. Asuka clenched her fists and scowled. She couldn't let the emotions get to her. It would only cause more pain.
More suffering.
She didn't need anymore of that.
Who would it be next? Misato? Kaji? Everyone she cared for died, or abandoned her. It wasn't fair! "None of that matters! I have to be strong..." Asuka scolded herself. Then Asuka openned her eyes once more, to find that she was no longer in Nerv's mess hall. She was sitting in a darkened room, on a wooden chair. Her surroundings vast yet empty. Like a black abyss.
"W-where am I?" Asuka stuttered.
"Where do you want to be?" Rei's voice spoke from the surrounding nothingness.
"What the hell is this Wondergirl?!" Asuka shouted.
"This is nothing." Rei replied.
"You don't say..." Asuka's voice echoed with sarcasm.
"Where do you want to be?" Rei repeated.
"I want to be back at NERV dammit!" Asuka growled.
"Are you sure?"
"Is Shinji spineless!?"
"I'll take that as a no."
"IT WAS A YES!"
Asuka fumed, wishing that there were someone to glare at while yelling at them. Yelling at thin air made her feel kind of, silly. Finally she let out a sigh of resignation, and narrowed her eyes.
"Well!? What do you want!?" Asuka exclaimed out of frustration.
"You have to stop bottling up your emotions. Let them out, otherwise you'll only hurt yourself, until you no longer want to live." A different voice spoke, Misato's voice.
"I can't let me feelings out! I can't! No one will care about a poor little girl who cries all the time!" Asuka yelled, "I'd be just as bad as Shinji!"
"Asuka, you have to stop it..." came Misato's voice.
"Do it for yourself..." Hikari's voice spoke next.
"And if not for yourself, do it for him." Rei's voice again.
Asuka closed her eyes and waited for it to all go away. "It just a dream," Asuka told herself, "Just a dream..." Asuka opened her eyes again and there she was, back in the mess hall of NERV. She let out a sigh of relief, adjusted her Auburn coloured hair, and wiped at her eyes.
"I can do this, I'm Asuka Langley Souryu and nothing can stop me. Especially not some stupid shadow! You can do this Asuka. Do it for yourself. Do it for Shinji..." Asuka thought, her usual determined look returning. Along with that glint in her eyes that said 'Look out, Asuka is comin' to get you.'
48 hours later...
Asuka woke up and groaned, she couldn't even remember the last time she had slept in this late. Lucky for her it was a Sunday. Asuka let out various groaning and grunting sounds as she climbed out of bed and stretched a little, then decided she had better go have a shower.
Shinji too was in still in bed, however he was far from asleep, ever since he arived home from the hospital he had difficulting getting to sleep. The images and voices he saw while inside the Angel haunted him, and he hadn't spoken to Asuka since. Not a single word.
Asuka let out a sigh of relief as she stepped out of her warm relaxing shower, her body still drenched with water, individual droplets slowly running down her flawless figure. Asuka quickly reached for a towel and began to dry herself off, her thoughts drifting to Shinji, why had he been acting so strange? No matter, he'd come around soon.
After drying herself thoroughly and getting changed into her yellow dress Asuka walked out into the lounge room and spotted Misato lying on the couch.
"'Afternoon Misato!" Asuka said in an eerily cheerful tone.
"Huh? Why are you so cheerful Asuka?" Misato questioned.
"No reason. Say, has Shinji come around yet?" Asuka asked, her tone changing a little.
Misato just shook her head and turned her eyes back to the television. Asuka narrowed her eyes and started off in the direction of Shinji's room, then openned the door and walked in.
"Time to get up." Asuka said calmly.
No response.
"I said get up, baka." Asuka growled.
Still now response.
"I meant now you know!" Asuka was almost yelling now.
"... Asuka?" Shinji finally spoke.
"What?" Asuka's tone settled a little.
"You don't really love me, do you?" Shinji asked.
"Huh? Wha-" Asuka began.
"No Asuka, don't lie to me. Get out. Now." Shinji spoke, his eyes begining to water.
"But-" Asuka tried to speak again.
"Get out damn you!" Shinji sobbed into his pillow.
Asuka's eyes lowered, her lips quivering. She felt dead inside, like someone had just pierced her heart with a knife, that someone was Shinji. Asuka turned and ran out of the room, and into her own, then huddled up on her bed, her legs tucked in, her head in her knees. Slowly she drifted asleep. Afew hours later she awoke at the sound of Misato opening the door.
"Do you love him?" Misato asked.
"Ofcourse I do!" Asuka replied instantly.
"Do you? Really?"
"YES!"
"Why do you love him?"
"He's kind... and he's... he's so like me."
"How is he like you?"
"I don't know..."
"You both run away from the truth."
"Maybe..."
"Does he love you?"
"No."
"What makes you think that?"
"I don't deserve to be loved, I'm worthless."
"Not so."
"..."
"Just believe in yourself Asuka."
Misato turned around and left closing the door behind her. Asuka faded into a deep, yet disturbed sleep, full of horrible nightmares. While she was fumbling around in her bed, Shinji peeped around the side of the door to look in on her, only to hear her say something very unexpected,
"I love you Shinji..."
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Ahhh, I finally had the time to finish this! Boy this was fun to write. I'm trying to keep it as in character as possible while still making it possible to have a relationship type thing. It's not easy.
I'm eager to recieve tips, comments, declarations of love, or flames, on this fic, and if I don't get any, that's still cool, I'll just write better next time. Or die trying. :P
That's all for now,
ShinRyuKen
