Funny story, I had this written for awhile and I was just being lazy and not posting it, but then my computer crashed and I lost everything, I mean everything. (Including my essay on transcendentalism, which my American Lit teacher was very forgiving about giving me an extension on). So this is what I think I had written and please review, I've had a bad few days. This one skips from year to year.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not even close.
Monica was giving up hope on finding Rachel, it was apparent and quite clear to her that if Rachel had wanted to be found, she would have been found by now. Claire had started calling her mom. After all, it had been three years. Monica was so busy usually, with the restaurant or the kids, that she barely had time to stop and think about Rachel. But when she did, the tears filled her eyes and she let them loose crying over her long lost best friend. She missed her. She missed her deeply. Phoebe missed her too although she was always better at hiding things than Monica. Everyone knew exactly what Monica was feeling when she was feeling it. Her children would laugh at her because of it.
"Mom's in a bad mood," Elena would warn her little sisters and brother. They would all nod knowingly about what that meant. That meant that you didn't make her more mad or push just to see how far you could push. Monica was sitting on the patio in the back staring at the winter sky.
"Hey," Chandler's voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Hey," she said not turning around.
"You're going to freeze out here," he told her wrapping his arms around her.
"You're the one who gets chilly," she teased. He laughed with her and tightened his grip.
"Are you okay?"
"Honestly?" He nodded. "No, Chandler, I miss her." Monica began to sob and he turned her around and pulled her sobbing body close to his.
"I know," he whispered trying in vain to get her to stop.
"Why did she leave?" Monica asked over and over again.
"I don't know," Chandler said. "I really don't know." Monica's small body heaved with sobs and Chandler was so busy comforting her that he didn't hear Elena open the French doors that led out to where they were standing.
"Is Mommy okay?" She asked. Monica wiped at her eyes and looked down at her daughter. She couldn't imagine leaving her ever. What had made Rachel leave? What had been so bad that she thought that that was the best solution? Chandler leaned over and let go of Monica as he picked up his oldest daughter.
"Whoa, you're getting too big for this," he told her shifting her weight and pulling Monica close again and hugging them both to him.
A Year Later:
"Merry Christmas!" The front door opened and Joey, Phoebe, Charisma, and Joey Junior all came bustling in. It was a year later. Four years, for four years, Rachel had been gone. Monica came out into the hallway and hugged them. They walked back into the warm living room where Ross was and gave him a hug too.
"So good to see you again!" Phoebe said hugging him. She didn't know who was standing at the window. No one did. Rachel pulled her coat closer around her as she looked in the window debating whether or not to go in. Her son Ethan, who was almost four, was bundled up next to her holding her hand. She bit her fingernail. She had wanted to come back so badly. But she had left, and she had made her bed, now she had to lie in it. She was about to suck it up and ring the doorbell when she saw Claire running in with another little girl. She knew automatically it was Michaela, but it had been so long since she had seen her. Michaela looks just like Mon, Rachel thought to herself. And Claire, well, she looked like her.
"Mommy!" Michaela said running into Monica's arms. "Does Santa come tonight?" Monica laughed and nodded.
"Mommy?" Claire said. Rachel's face dropped, and she felt like she had been shot with a thousand arrows, when Monica answered back.
"Yes?"
"Is he going to bring me the doll I asked for?" Chandler was standing by and laughed.
"Lets see," he said swinging her around causing her to giggle. "You asked him three times at the mall and wrote him twice reminding him not to forget."
"So?" Claire asked. Chandler laughed again and tickled her.
"I think he'll remember," he said. She nodded.
"Good," she said as he set her back down. Rachel looked down at Ethan who was yawning.
"Want to go home?" She asked. He nodded. "Lets go." She took one more look as Phoebe told the Bings to stand in front of the tree for a family picture. Chandler was holding Michaela, and had his other arm around Monica. Monica's one arm was around him and the other was around Jonah who was holding her hand. Claire and Elena were in front of Monica and Chandler. They all smiled and Rachel walked away.
"What a Christmas," she said as she buckled Ethan in and drove home. She flipped on the lights in her small house and sighed as she put Ethan to bed and went back into the living room. If she went back, what would she tell them? The truth? The truth was that she couldn't handle it. She needed some time to sort everything out and it just seemed like such a good idea to leave Claire there. After all, she was unstable, and that's what she wanted for her children for them to have a stable upbringing like she had had. Lot of good the stability had done her. With Monica and Chandler, Claire had a mother and a father, and sisters and a brother. With Rachel, she had just had...well Rachel. Rachel didn't know she was pregnant with Ethan until she had left, and then she didn't know how to go back. That was the truth, all these years, she just didn't know how to come home. Just show up at the door and say, "Hey I'm back?" Claire would hate her, she knew this. And now, Claire was settled with Monica and Chandler, there was no way that she could just slip back into their lives.
Two Years later:
"I can't believe you!" Monica was angry with her daughters that she was on the verge of crying. Elena looked up at her mother knowing that her and Claire were in deep trouble. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. Now it was backfiring like nothing she had ever seen. Elena swallowed hard and looked back down at her feet. Her father was pacing in front of them. Monica began to cry and sink into the couch. That was more punishment than anything else they could have done to Claire and Elena.
"Mom? Please don't cry," Elena said. "We're sorry. We didn't mean to scare you like that. We thought that we'd come back before you got worried about us."
"Elena," Chandler said. "You are the oldest, and you know better then that!" Elena nodded tears forming in her eyes. She hated being the oldest. She was twelve, and she had wanted to go to the mall and see her favorite band. She had talked Claire into going along. They had asked Monica and Chandler first, but Jonah had a baseball game, and Michaela had dance class. So they were left with the babysitter, and they had snuck out and called a cab. They had taken the money from their parent's bedroom. When Lucy, the babysitter, had realized they weren't in Elena's room like they said they were going to be, she panicked and called Monica's cell phone. Monica was with Michaela, and she hurried home and called Chandler. Now Michaela was mad because she missed half of her dance class, and Jonah was mad because his team had been winning the game, and Monica was upset and Chandler was mad. Chandler was holding Monica in his arms.
"When we couldn't find you, do you know what went through our heads?" Monica asked. Claire was crying now and she hugged her.
"I'm sorry Mommy," she said. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." She was eleven. Rachel had been gone for six years. Claire had given up all hope of ever seeing her mother again. In all truth, she didn't know what she would say to her if she did see her after all these years. Monica didn't either, and sometimes they would talk about that. Now, Monica wrapped her arms around the young girl and hugged her.
"It's okay," she told her. "I know you didn't mean to scare me. But you did. I didn't know where you were and that scared me to death." Elena moved closer and hugged her parents.
"We won't ever do it again," she promised. Monica stroked her hair.
"You won't," Chandler said. "Because you are grounded for two weeks." The girls nodded knowing that they deserved it. "You can go now." The girls nodded and walked up to their bedrooms. Chandler turned to his wife and hugged her close.
"The thoughts that went through my head," she told him.
"I know."
"When I think about what could've happened to them," she whispered.
"Then don't think about it. They're okay, they're safe. Although I think that we're going to need a new babysitter." Monica giggled and felt safe in her husband's arms. They heard the doorbell ring and Monica reluctantly pulled away and made her way to the door. Chandler was trying to get her to stay with him and she was giggling as she opened it. Her mouth dropped open when she saw who was standing there.
"Rachel?"
"Monica, honey, you're letting flies in," Rachel teased gently putting her hand under Monica's chin and closing it for her. Holding Rachel's hand was a little boy about Michaela's age or younger.
"Is this your son?" Chandler asked. Rachel nodded.
"This is Ethan."
"Nice to meet you," Chandler smiled at the little boy.
"Monica," Rachel said.
"Where have you been?" Monica's head was racing with questions that she wanted to demand answerers to.
"I..."
"Did you think about us ever?"
"Mon..."
"Why did you come back?" Chandler put his hand on his wife's shoulders to calm her down.
"I needed my friends." The simple statement made Monica stop in her questioning right there and then.
"What?"
"I needed my friends," she repeated. "Ethan got sick with mono and I was stuck at home and I had no one to talk to. I was lonely. Ethan is all I have."
"Are you going to leave him here too?" The question hurt Rachel and she flinched, although that's not the way Monica meant it.
"I have no friends," Rachel said. "I don't have anyone to turn to. And I'm sorry. I really am. I don't even know how to tell you how sorry I am. But Monica, my little boy was sick and I needed to talk to you. I need you. I need to see Claire! I need my friends, I need my life back!" Monica looked from the little boy to Rachel and tried to imagine how Rachel had felt and she pulled away from Chandler and took her best friend in her arms rocking her back and forth like a child. Claire came down to ask her father about a homework question and saw her mother. Her real mother in her adoptive mother's arms being rocked back and forth as she cried. A little boy was at her side and Claire smiled at him. She cleared her throat causing all three adults to look up.
"Claire?" Rachel said.
"Yes?"
"Do you remember who I am?"
"Of course I do." That was it. End of statement. "Dad I need help with this question."
"Okay sweetie," he said.
"Mom?" Rachel looked up expectantly. Claire shot her a cold glance. She wasn't ready to forgive as easily as Monica had. "I didn't mean you."
"Oh," Rachel said in a small voice, tears threatening to fall down her cheeks.
"Mom? Can you make cookies for my class party on Tuesday?" Monica nodded and Claire turned and went back upstairs.
"That went well," Rachel said sarcastically.
"Come in," Chandler said leading them to the living room. "Here Ethan, here's some coloring books and some of Jonah's toys."
"How are your kids?"
"They're good," Chandler answered. "I should go upstairs and check on Claire." Monica nodded and he left the room.
"How is Ethan?" Monica asked taking Rachel's hand.
"He's doing okay," Rachel said smiling at her son. Monica nodded. "Does she hate me?"
"No," Monica said. "She doesn't know how to hate you. She's wanted you to come home for years now. But now that you are, she doesn't know how to forgive you, and she doesn't know how to hate you either. Its a double edged sword for her."
"I understand," Rachel said.
"No you don't," Monica said smiling slightly. "But you're trying and that's what counts." She hugged her friend. "I'm glad you came home." Rachel nodded hugging her back.
"I'm glad I came back," she told her. "For me, and for Claire and Ethan."
Two Months later:
"Do you have everything to take to Rachel's?" Monica asked Claire. She nodded and out of the blue lunged at Monica.
"Thank you," she whispered into Monica's blue turtleneck.
"For what?" Monica asked softly.
"For taking care of me, and letting me adjust to having her back and not forcing me into anything." Monica kissed her forehead and looked back on the last two months. Once Rachel had come back, they decided that Claire would stay with the Bings a little longer. Until she got adjusted to the idea of Rachel and Ethan. After all, she had lived with Chandler and Monica for six years. That was a significant amount of time. She still called Monica mom, and Rachel was an 'aunt'. Monica knew that this hurt Rachel, but Claire just wasn't ready yet and she wasn't going to force her to do anything that she didn't want to do and Monica was in no way going to make her to do anything that she didn't want to. Besides that, Monica loved her like a daughter and she didn't really want to let her go that easily. The doorbell rang and like every weekend, Claire hugged Monica tighter and the two of them made their way down the steps. Elena came running out of the living room with her friend.
"Bye Claire!" She said. "See you on Sunday!"
"Bye," Claire said. Michaela came running down the stairs holding her bear.
"Claire?" She said. "You can take Cuddles with you so that you aren't lonely." Claire smiled at the little girl and hugged her.
"Thanks Mickey," she told her. Michaela smiled and Monica leaned down and picked her up and kissed her cheek. Her baby wasn't a baby anymore. Rachel came in and Ethan hugged Claire.
"Hi Claire!"
"Hi Ethan," she told him. Rachel took Claire's bag and they walked to the car.
"I'll drop her off on Sunday," Rachel promised.
"Okay," Monica said hugging her. "Have a nice weekend."
"You too," Rachel said getting in the car. Things were finally falling back into place for her. They waved to Monica as they drove home and Monica closed the door and watched as her children ran past her, Jonah fighting with Michaela, and Elena and her friend yelling for her in the kitchen. Chandler came down and kissed her on the cheek.
"Rachel pick up Claire?" Monica nodded. He kissed her again. She sighed and smiled. It would be a long road ahead of them, but Rachel was back, and they were all together again.
****You have no idea how happy I am to have this done! I just hope this version doesn't get deleted too. Actually I like this version much better anyway. So please review and tell me what you thought!*****
