AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well hello you people! How do you do? Me? I'm good. I have so many ideas for Card Captor fic. So many! It will take some time to write them all down. I will even write an S+S one! It's not like I hate S+S, I just sick of them being together. Lots of people think that way though. But I will write an S+S story soon and you will like it, I hope.
Now on with the "The Alternate Birthday Present": this is a pre-last chapter of the story. THE STORY WAS COMING FROM LI'S POV UNTIL NOW, BUT NOW IT WILL BE COMING FROM THE NORMAL POV.
Again, I am warning you: THIS IS A PURE MEILIN/LI STORY! SO FOR ALL OF YOU MEILI FANS OUT THERE: ENJOY! FOR ALL THE S+S FANS: I ADMIRE S+S COUPLE, BUT I AM SICK OF THEM TOGETHER. I'M SURE, THAT SOMEDAY I'LL BE SICK OF MEILIN/LI COUPLE TOO, BUT THAT WON'T HAPPEN FOR LIKE ANOTHER THOUSAND YEARS!
So, allrighty people! READ AND REVIEW! Please, I need to know how much I suck. Ookey-tookey, here we go:
CHAPTER 9: "The pain of rejection."
In the previous chapter:
But I have to find her first, so that I could talk to her. To tell this girl that...that... she is my everything.
*****************************************************************************************
(Author's Notes: from now on the story comes from the normal POV: "Point Of View")
It wasn't time to get dark outside yet. The sun didn't even think of going away, but for her the whole world was already dark, shadowy and cruel. The girl stopped running for a second, she needed to check her arm, it's condition. The condition of her arm was not the best. It was bleeding. There were several bruises on it. But it didn't hurt. Not as much as her emotional pain. The pain of rejection was almost numbing her arm's pain.
The pain of rejection.
It was the worst of them all. It was tearing her apart inside. Piece by piece. Piece by piece. Nothing else mattered anymore. Not now. How could she shown up in front of him ever again? How could she do what she has done? There was no way turning back. It was all over.
For her surprise, it turned out that he never truly loved her. She was just making herself believe that he had feelings for her, making the "love" up, so she would have the reason to live. But the raven-haired girl didn't have the reason to live anymore.
What was the purpose of life now? As it finally turned out, Li didn't love her. Her family? Her family sent her to Japan, so that she would assist Li on the capturing the Cards. But he didn't need her on that. And so the Rae family didn't need her as well. Sakura probably hated her too, because she was always a bother to all of them. Nobody needed her anymore. No, not ANYMORE; the word was "NEVER". They NEVER needed her at all.
Love would make life go on, but today everything changed forever and ever.
She wanted to die, to vanish, and to not exist anymore. But the girl wasn't strong enough for a suicide. She was still in love. Even though it has been a couple of hours since she kissed him; the raven-haired girl could still feel the heat and the coldness of his lips on hers.
Meilin knew that she would never show up in the door of their mansion again. She wouldn't be able to look in his amber eyes ever again. She wouldn't be able to be in the same room with him again.
The decision was made.
*Goodbye Li.*
(Author's Notes: *The words in the *__* represent the thought of the character.)
******************************************************************************************
The young boy with amber eyes and determent spirit ran as fast as he possibly could. For the girl of his dreams, for the love of his life. He looked for her everywhere. He even went back to their mansion hoping that she would be there. But she wasn't. He couldn't find her anywhere. He looked for Meilin at the Roller Coaster Park, school, and penguin slide. But she wasn't in any of those places. No, she wasn't at Madison's place, nor Sakura's.
*I wonder where she could be...* he thought. Li was running out of options. *Its no use, I guess I'll have to wait until she'll return home......She will RETURN, right? Right? Why wouldn't she?* ~Oh I don't know, maybe she won't be in the mood to ever see you again after WHAT YOU DID TO HER, YOU STUPID FREAK! ~ Li's subconscious was sarcastically speaking to him.
The boy with amber eyes decided to take a walk, so he could clear his thoughts before he would see Meilin again. ~IF~ he would ever see her again.
*****************************************************************************************
She undid her two bunds so that wind could play with her hair. It was a very peaceful place here, near water. Meilin remembered about how Li and her had a special place in China, where they would come almost everyday, and spend hours just lying on the soft grass, talking to each other. It was near water. The most beautiful place they've ever seen. The unforgettable childhood memories came to her once again. And once taking a walk, they discovered this nice place on the planet, in the land of Japan, which was very similar to the one they had in China. But now they would come here not so often, not like it was in China. Everything has changed. He had changed.
Meilin looked at her reddish dress. She liked that color. It was her color. The raven-haired girl picked up a red rose, which was standing up from the ground alone with it's scarlet colored sisters. A single tear slipped down her cheek and fell onto the rose.
There was a gentle breeze coming from the lake. She liked the breeze. It helped her to stop thinking about Li for a couple of minutes. But then, she would think of him again. It was like a disease or something: she couldn't stop thinking about him. Why? Why she was so in love with him? Maybe because of his passionate amber eyes, which seemed to reflect his soul, or maybe it was his gentle smile, which would melt her down like butter on fire. What was so great about him?
Everything.
******************************************************************************************
It was already getting late. Almost seven PM. Li didn't really care about the time; he wouldn't get punished for coming home late, because everyone in the house was gone until tomorrow afternoon. Wei, their housekeeper had gone to the elders too and he always trusted Li and Meilin enough to let them spend a night in the house without adult supervision. The old man Wei knew that the kids were responsible enough to not get in the trouble.
Li took a walk to that place, which was reminding him and Meilin about their own place back in China. He headed to the place, where the warm soft breeze was always blowing and where wild red roses scattered across the grass. The roses always reminded him of Meilin, his beloved one. This place was magical, but not as magical as in China. He went to that place to clear his thoughts, to think of Meilin.
******************************************************************************************
He was almost at the place. He could smell the soft breeze. The sweet aroma from wild roses ran up to his sensitive nose.
Li turned around the corner to find the small piece of ground, covered with red wild flowers, which were staring into their blue reflection in the lake...But instead he found her. The raven-haired girl was sitting there with her hand wrapped around two legs, holding them close to her chest. She was unaware of his presence. Her back was turned to him.
Li didn't recognize Meilin right away. It's because of her hair. They were undone and were let loose into the wind's soft hands. Wind played with them gently. But then, Li saw her bleeding arm. And he recognized her scarlet dress. It was her. He was sure now.
He had been a fool, looking for her everywhere, but here. This is the first place she would have gone. And she did so.
And now he had to talk to her. To tell her. He took a deep breath:
"How's your arm?" he muttered quickly.
******************************************************************************************
She winced at the sound of his voice, but remained silent. How long have he been standing there? But Meilin didn't turn around to see him; instead, she just kept gazing at the beautiful scenery in front of her.
"How did you find me?" She asked quietly, not turning her head. Meilin decided not to answer his question.
"Actually," he didn't move from the place he was standing, "I didn't think you'd be here. I came here for some piece and quietness."
*Great,* Meilin thought,*he wasn't even looking for me; he doesn't even care about me. I have been foolish to think he could ever have feelings for me.*.She turned her head toward him. Li was about ten feet away from her.
"Well then," Meilin said in a coldest voice possible, "I will leave you to your piece and quietness." Cold, she said it so cold. These words meant much more, then they seemed to mean. The last thing she wanted to do right now is to have a conversation with him. Meilin stood up, holding her bad arm close to her chest, "Goodbye," the raven-haired girl turned to leave, but when she felt a warm, soft hand on her left shoulder she stopped. The electricity if his touch sent a cold goosebumps running down her spine.
"Wait, I didn't mean that...I am glade that you are here. We need to talk."
Meilin turned her face to him and looked into his brownish eyes. She couldn't understand what they were saying to her. The expression on his face was unreadable. She didn't understand it. She never had seen him look at her like that.
"There is nothing to talk about Li." She said dropping her gaze to the ground.
"Yes, there is. And you perfectly know that. You can't run away from it." Li took his hand away from Meilin's shoulder.
"We'll see about that." The raven-haired girl turned away to leave once again. Then he ran in front of her and blocked her way.
"No! Meilin please...we need to talk. I need you to listen to me. Please?" Li pleaded her as much as he could. He made the eye contact with her. Meilin was silent. She couldn't move, because his amber eyes led her into a trance; making her don't want to go away from him. She was paralyzed by the way he looked at her. Something was different. But the ruby-eyed girl broke the eye contact and looked aside. That meant that she would listen to him.
"I am sorry." He said warmly, but seriously. Li expected her to be silent or maybe she would burst into tears, or maybe she would hit him, but what she did was much worse and very unexpected. When he was about to continue, she replied:
"I forgive you." Meilin said it harshly, coldly, much to his surprise. It sounded more like: 'Go to hell'. Her face expression was blank. There was no way she meant it. Meilin desperately wanted him to leave her alone, but she knew that he wouldn't do it.
"Listen, I know you must be very mad at me and you have no idea how sorry I am," Li began, "I hope you know that I care a lot about you, and I..."
"No you don't! You don't care about me at all! Don't lie to me Li! You even forgot my birthday..." Meilin broke into sobs, which stopped as fast as they started. "I know about the vase..." she said quietly. A couple of tears ran down her cheeks. As much as she didn't want to show Li her tears, it didn't work. More and more of them streamed from her ruby red eyes. He looked up at her in shock. *But how did she know? * He thought.
"But... how did you know?..." He spoke his mind. Meilin didn't bother to look at him; instead she fully turned her body towards the lake's shore.
"The "whatever" Card you used on the vase shop, Card's magic faded by the time I went out of the park." Meilin took a deep breath, "You didn't have to do that for me. I wouldn't get mad at you anyway, even if I knew that you forgot about my birthday." Meilin kept a very cold tone in her voice. She became so cold; Li have never seen her like that.
"Meilin..." Li took a little pause to collect his thoughts, because what he would say next would change his life forever and ever. And luckily she would forgive him. LUCKILY, as in: one out of thousand. Meilin tried her hardest not to look at him, but she failed when Li gently turned her to face him. He put his arms a little bit lower shoulders and stared into her rubies. The eyes which told him so much. They were so full of passion, sorrow and love. Only, he, Li Showron could read her eyes.
Li desperately wanted to hold her in his arms forever and to kiss away the pain he saw in her rubies. The pain of rejection. But he had to handle himself.
"Meilin..." Li repeated, looking down at her. (Author's Notes: Li was taller than Meilin for like five inches.) "Even if you will stay mad at me for the rest of eternity, it won't change... the way I feel about you. You have no idea how long it took me to...to... realize that...I had feelings for you...I LOVE YOU." Here, he had finally said it. There was no turning away from it now.
Li already played in his mind of what Meilin would say to him next:
*I LOVE YOU.*
*Oh really? Li! I love you too!*
And then he would kiss her passionately, wrapping his hands around her slim waist.
But what came out was neither of those things.
******************************************************************************************
She couldn't believe what she just heard. *HE. LOVES. ... ME?!! This is must be a very-very weird dream or something. He doesn't "love" me...Does he? Li Showron is in LOVE with me? This is way too weird. Li never looked at me like that* Meilin thought. She was about to tell him that she felt the same way /which she did/, but a new realization came to her mind: *Wait a second...he doesn't LOVE me, he is......pitying me! That's it!
Remember what you told yourself Meilin! He never loved you in "THAT" way. You were just making it up! Li Showron is just feeling very guilty or something...but he doesn't LOVE you. How could I be so stupid to believe him even for a second? It is just a pity that he's feeling.* Meilin felt now even worse then before their conversation. He was pitying her!
"WHAT?!" the only thing came out of her. Li became confused, he did not expect this.
"...I l-l-love you." The amber eyed boy repeated, while blushing a little.
"Li!" She yelled at him, "Stop lying to me! Stop pitying me! What? Are you trying to make me feel better about myself? Well that is not the way to do that! I don't want your pity!" Rivers of salty tears were running down her cheeks.
"Meilin, but..."
"No! I know what you're doing! You are trying to make me feel better. You might be pitying me, but don't you ever say that you ever had feelings for me! You never even showed me, that I meant more to you than just a friend. Don't you see? You are hurting me this way even more. Not that you really care..." With that, she motioned her way out of his arms. She moved herself so fast, that it seemed to hurt her arm. Meilin made out a light scream in pain, but it quickly faded.
"Meilin! Your arm!" Li's worried voice exclaimed as more blood poured out of her flesh. He couldn't believe of what she had just said to him. Li reached to her with his hands, but Meilin quickly moved away from him.
"You! You stay away from me for good. You ruined my life, Li Showron! Are happy now? You can't play with person's feelings, just like that!" Meilin turned around walking away from him. Li wanted to follow her, but she didn't let him to:
"No, don't you even think of following me! I hate you Li Showron! I hate all about you! I want YOU to leave me alone once and for all!" she paused. Meilin was raging with fire. The girl was angry at Li not because of the "kiss" thing /earlier this day/, but because he was pitying her, by saying that he loved her, which he probably didn't. Probably... "Some "birthday present" you got me. Well thank you for everything..." Meilin said sarcastically. With these words the raven-haired ran away from him, leaving him to do nothing else, but to stand there and watch her vanishing from his life.
"But I really love you Meilin Rae!!!" He cried out for her at the top of his lungs. "I really do...." He whispered. She definitely heard him crying out for her, but decided to keep running away. *It is for your own good Meilin,* she thought to herself, *better to run off, before you'll get hurt even more...*
******************************************************************************************
Li Showron lowered himself on the soft green grass.
The boy knew there was no way she meant what she said about hating him, but it still hurt him to hear that coming from her. He saw two white pigeons passed by him. The two birds were obviously in love and flew to their "honeymoon" sweet life in their home-nest. They would be together forever, until death would pull them apart. Li wished that he and Meilin were those birds. So careless, with nothing, but love on their minds and hearts. But now everything changed. He hurt her, she hurt him.
*How could she think that I felt nothing, but pity towards her? Duh! You were always so rude to her and you never let her get close to you. Why?... They say: you always hurt the person you love. That's it...How couldn't I realize my feelings to her sooner? Why do I always have to learn the hard way?* Li sighed deeply to himself as he looked at the sun, which almost settled behind the horizon. How could he let this happen? She was gone out of his life forever...
Maybe not...
*Maybe not!* Li got up from the ground. * I am not going to regret for the rest of my life that I didn't follow her, that I let her slip out of my life forever! My love. I love Meilin! And I am gonna bring her back to me and I am going to confess once more that I love her. Until she will believe me, because I know that she loves me too. I already ruined everything: her life and mine; what can be worse than that?* with these thoughts Li ran toward the direction where Meilin left. He will bring her back, his love, his destiny, his reason to live...
TO BE CONTINUED...
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I LLLLLIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE! This took me forever to write this! SO? How was it? I know... I know---Li was like a PSYCHO CRAZY in the end with the words: "I'LL GET HER!!!" but we all know WHAT he meant! (^_^). I still have one more chapter to go and then I am going to reload this story. People-people! I need to know everything you think about my fic. It is very important to me that you REVIEW IT! PLEASE! Pretty please?
Sincerely, cardcaptor_girl.
