Title: Not Like It Should Be
Author: Natalia Melissa Vronsky
Email: blackqueenphoenix@yahoo.com or sputiehead@aol.com
Web-page: www.geocities.com/blackqueenphoenix
Part: five of ?
Category: Rogue/Gambit (kitty, jubilee, john, bobby, warren, betsy)-Gambit POV
Rating: R for language... and violence/references to violence.
Summary: Gambit thinks about the past and present... Don't count on happy thoughts.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters... Marvel Character Inc. does... 20th Century Fox does. I have NO money. I don't even have a job. I live offa my parents for Pete's sake! So don't sue me.
*Ariana Jenkins/Freeze* is mine, *Melt* is mine, *Chiara* is mine... there are a few more in the story who are mine. Please don't use them without asking. I promise... if you ask... I'll say yes.
Author's Notes: Yes... Professor X, Scott, Jean, Logan, Storm and Hank are dead. Forgive the lame code-names of my made-up characters. I see now why Marvel writers are calling X-Force by names like, U-Go-Girl.
Thanks: to Cassie and Daisy for being the worlds bestest beta's. :) Thanks to B.R. and Lilith for helping me with Ariana's codename! And, everyone else gave suggestions for her codename! And to anyone whose read/responded... as always, tante mille grazie!
Dedicated: To all those lost on Sept. 11, 2001... and all those effected in any way shape or form by what happened...
Archive: Feel free to archive anywhere... I don't care so long as it's not at some "worst fan-fiction ever" page... also... just let me know, 'kay? And if you have my previous consent... you don't have to ask me over and over, 'kay?
Feedback: PLEASE! I don't care if'n you flame me... just respond... it's nice to know what others think of my work. PLEASE!

"Rogue just woke up the three she's taking with her.

I didn't want her to take the girl, Ariana... or Freeze... the codename she chose for herself, or M. They're just kids.

No sense in fucking up their lives more than they already are. Hell, no sense in them risking their lives.

'Remy... we're goin'.' Rogue said.

I just look at her. I don't know what she want's me to say. I want her to go just about as much as I want Freeze and M to go. Okay... I'd honestly rather all of the little kids go over her.

Things are bad enough... and if I lost her, my life is just as good as over.

Her and her goddamned optimism has been the only thing keeping me in these tunnels. It's a whole lot easier hiding just two people instead of two-hundred.

'Remy?' She looks at me... her eyes filling with water.

For all her outer bravery, she's still such an innocent. And I'm the only person she ever lets her guard down around.

'What, Rogue?'

'Nothin'. We'll be back.' She turns and heads off with Ice-Man, M and Freeze.

'Wait.' I call, following her.

She stops, but doesn't turn. Damn, she's good at guilt trips. 'Be careful, Chere.' I go to stand in front of her and kiss her quickly.

'Ah will be... with you ta come back ta?' She smiles brightly at me. Gotta love that woman.

'Member, Chere... if anythin'... jus' have M get word t'Pyslocke...'

'Nothin' will go wrong, Remy.'

Despite her brave words... I can tell she's still a little unsure as she walks away.

Psylocke and Angel sit off in a corner, cuddling. Wish me and Rogue had that freedom. ''Member t'keep dat link open.' I tell Betsy. Not meaning to snap.

It's just how it comes out. I'm worried that if anything happens... Psylocke will have slacked off and Rogue could get hurt. Then I'd kill Psylocke.

'Yes, sir.' She snaps back.

It's kinda funny how life changes people. I've always had to fend for myself. And, when things started falling apart... it was easy taking care of Roguie, too.

Just me and her. And things weren't that bad. Until the Horsemen started hunting down mutants one by one. Then every important political figure.

Me and Rogue had to hide. We used the Morlock tunnels at first... despite what had happened there.

Then we found the tunnels we're at now. The only problem was, each time we'd go out for food, more and more people would join us.

Then soon, other mutants... ones we knew, some we didn't... joined us.

I hated it then... I still hate it now. I want to be with Rogue and only Rogue. I can't guarantee her safety... not when she's so determined to fight the 'good fight'.

I sure hope Henri is roasting painfully in Hell for getting word to us about those damn maps.

'Signor Gambit?' One of the girls, Chiara runs over to me.

'Yeah?' Damn kids don't know to leave me alone?

'Scusami, sorry... ma... Pyro e Melt are missing.'

I look at her. She's dead serious. 'Can y'see if y'can find them wit' y'r'powers?' I ask her.

'I try.' She shut her eyes tight, a bright white glow surrounding her body. Her eyes snapped open. 'They go to help... Signora Rogue, M e Ariana.'

'Damn it. Tell dem I want dem t'come back now.'

'Si.' She repeats what she did earlier. 'They... closed their minds to me. I keep trying?'

'Non. Don' worry 'bout it. I'll have Psylocke try. Get a hold of Rogue t'let her know 'bout dem, okay?'

'Si.' She replied as I walked over to Psylocke.

'What now? I've got the link open.' She spat out when I walked up. Psylocke 's sure got balls.

'Need y't'get hold of Pyro an' Melt. Dey went out after de others left.'

'Idiot's.' Angel said under his breath.

Psylocke laughed after a short while. 'John said for you to sod off.'

'Fine... let him know dat if he doesn't get himself an' dat boy killed... dey don' have a place t'come back to... 'less dey come back right now.'

Both Psylocke and Angel looked at me shocked. I guess a few years back... I would never be like this. Oh well.

'Signora Rogue say she find Pyro and Melt. She say she send them back... e you better let them stay.' Chiara said running up to me.

Psylocke and Angel laughed. So did I. The first time I've laughed in a long time.

'Merci, Chiara.'

'You gonna lave us alone now?' Psylocke asked.

'Oui... mais...'

'Yeah, yeah... keep the damn link open.'"

- Gambit -

I hope this justified... and not made worse, my reasons for why Gambit's been acting the way he's been acting.

"all that we were is gone we have to hold on
all that we were is gone we have to hold on
when all our hope is gone we have to hold on
all that we were is gone but we can hold on" NIN "we're in this together"