Authors Note: Hey there everybody. I feel so good to be writing again. Fanfiction was down for so fricking long and it drove me utterly insane and through a window and a half!! Wootishness...Harry Potter comes out in 4 more days!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!! I'll have to go see it!! And now without further ado. My next chapter of Slytherin's Crap monsters.

Disclaimer: you know, the usual.

Chapter 5

The day after Lily and James decided to go out, now the girls were all over Lily getting James, the lads were all mad at James for going out with Lily. Especially one with gross greasy hair, a crooked nose and a gross odor around him. Severus Snape. He liked that Lily Evans, and as most gross people without any friends do, he decided to be even grosser and not take even more showers. (thats taking less showers.) After the grossness had become to much for everyone to handle. Lily had snuck into Snapes dormitories (which smelled worse then rotting meat.) along with Remus (Sirius and James had detention) and sprayed body spray all over there room. First they enchanted Snape so he would not wake up, then they poured water on him and soap and scrubbed him down. Even though it was gross to watch this, Lily and Remus never did a thing. It was good that they were so good at charms. When they were done they put semi permanent makeup on him, so it wouldn't come off for a week and tied his hair up in a pretty pink bow, that would not come out of his hair for a week. Then they made all of his robes pink to match his bow and wrote Snapialinda on it. They also enchanted this so it would not change for a week. When they left the dormitories under James' cloak they could smell the perfume coming from Snape's dorm all the way into the hallway off of the commonroom.When Snape woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror, you could here him scream all the way to the North tower. Which Professor Trelawny complained about, because it disrupted her inner eye while she was crystal gazing. The great hall was filled with laughter as Snape came into it. Seeing that he did not own any other robes and no one would share robes with him, he had to wear the bright pink Snapialinda robes along with all of his make up and pink hair bow. "He actually looks better as a girl, good job Lily!" Remus cleared his throat. "Oh Yeah and Remus." said James. Lily had to admit, she had done a great job. Snape had never, she bet in her, er, his life been cleaner. Lily laughed to herself but stopped as the dreaded potions teacher stood over her. "Do you think that is funny miss Evans? Did you have anything to do with the beautifying of Mr. Snape?" "Oh no ma'am." Lily said trying not to laugh. "I didn't do anything at all. In fact I was thinking about how Snape would be the prettiest girl in hogwarts if he had a sex change." Everyone at the Gryffindor table laughed. Someone under their breath whispered, the prettiest my ass. Lily started to laugh. The professor gave her an evil look and then left. Lily looking quite relieved got up and left for her first class.