Okay….since you reviewed I'll continue(like I wouldn't anyway) Newayz….the premiere's in 3 hours!!!! Woo-hoo!!!! And I haven't read any spoilers!!! I'm so proud of me!!! Sorry that all the other characters except CnM kinda disappeared, I was gonna have em be in this, but I didn't how how to fit them in. Okay,where we left off….

"Oh my god," was the only thing that Chandler could say. He thought it over and over again. 'oh my god, this isn't real, oh god, oh my god.'

The door opened, but Chandler didn't even notice.

"Hey, guess what?" Monica said happily, but seeing Chandler's face knew somethig was wrong. "What?" (Okay, ur right, I couldn't kill Monica. Cuz then Chandler would be sad and I don't like Chandler sad so that'd make me sad and I really don't like me sad, neway…)

"Well, umm," he said but stopped when Alex came in.

"Daddy, look what I drawed," she said handing him a picture of what was actually a bunch of scribbles.

"Wow, pretty," he said, causing her to smile.

"I drewed one for Monica too," Alex said and ran to go get it. Chadnler and Monica jusr stared at each other, Chandler needing to say what he just found out, and Monica needing to know what it wa. "Here," Alex said handling the other picture to Monica. "I gotta go finish the one I'm gonna give mommy when she get back," she said running back to her room.

As soon as Chandler was sure that Alex was out of the room, he turned to face Monica. "Kathy died," he said quietly, "she was in a car accident, and I guess it was really bad…" he said trailing off. "Her lawyer or someone's going to call me later, but god, Mon, what do I tell Alex?" Chandler asked, sounding scared and helpless like a little kid.

Monica was silent at first, shocked. "I don't know," Monica said quietly after a moment. "that's why she didn't call last night," Monica thought outloud.

"What?"

"She called every night except last night….that's why."

The phone rang causing Chandler to jump. "Hello?" he said answering it. "Yes, it is….what?!?… yeah…okay…hold on a second," he mouthed for Monica to hand him the pen and pad of paper that were on the table. "Okay…" Chandler wrote down the information, "thanks, bye." He hung up the ohone, looking even less happy than before.

Seeing the questioning look on Monica;s face, he decided to explain what the call was about. "That was Kathy's lawyer, I guess she's a friend of her family's or something, but anyway, he said that the funeral's going to be next Wednesday in Chicago, where her parents live," Chandler paused and Monica could tell there was something else.

"and…" she said, but he didn't answer, "what else, her lawyer woudn't have been the one to call if there wasn't something else…."

Chandler looked down, then back up at Monica, "Her parents are contesting custody of Alex. I guess they don't think that I'm responsible enough or even desrve to have her….."

She saw the look in his eyes that meant he wanted her to say something to make everything alright.

But she didn't know what to say.

So she did the only thing that she knew what to do to comfort him. She wrapped her arms around him, kissing him slow and deep. Chandler kissed back, not wanting to come back to reality. But after a minute, he was the one to pull back.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "I just, that doesn't solve everything," he said, but Monica touched his arm to tell him that it was alright. They locked eyes and Monica saw a look in his eyes she hardly ever saw. Chandler might not show a lot of emotions, but she could always tell by looking in his eyes. The look she saw was one she'd only seen once before, and never cared to see again.

He was scared.

Scared of losing Alex. Scared of having to raise her. Scared of telling her that she'd never see her mom again.

He was scared.

"What the hell do I say to Alex?" he asked, his voice hardly above a whisper, not wanting Alex to hear.

"I don't know, sweety," she answered honestly.

Alex came out to show them the pictures that she'd drawn for Joey, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel. "Come here, honey," Chandler said and lifted Alex on to the couch next to him. Chandler didn't know what to say after that, so he looked to Monica.

She had no more an idea than he did.

"Lexie…" he started, "…do you know what it means to die?"

"Yeah, my friend's dog died and now when I go over there he's not there anymore and Mommy said that's cuz he went to heaven."

Chandler was glad that she atleast somewhat understood. "Yeah," he said and swallowed hard. This wasn't a conversation you ever want to have with anybody. "Umm, Mommy got hurt in a car accident, and she died," Chanldler said, not sure that she understood.

Alex looked at him confused. If mommy died, then she wouldn't be able to see her anymore. Why wouldn't her mom want to see her? "I don't get to see her anymore?" she asked.

Monica couldn't stand there. She couldn't watch Alex try to comprehend what was happening. It broke her heart to have Alex ask why she couldn't ever see her mom again, so she left the room.

Chandler wasn't sure if Alex really understood what happened. But she did know that she wouldn't get to see her mom anymore.

And she wanted to know why.

Chandler couldn't answer that. He could say that it wasn't anybody's fault, but Alex didn't really understand. She was only three. And three-year-olds are really good at on question.

Why?

~*~*~*~*~

Alex wouldn't go to bed. And when she went to bed, she wouldn't go to sleep. She was afraid that Chandler was going to leave her too. So, he read her a story. He read her four stories. She asked for more.

Finally, she fell asleep from being so tired, but not before making Chandler promise that he wouldn't die too.

Chandler walked out and collapsed on the couch, and Monica sat next to him. "I wish I could hold you like you hold me," she whispered, "completely wrap you in my arms…"

Chandler gave her a small smile and did the exact opposite, he wrapped his arms around her. "This works too," he whispered in her ear. "My god, I love you."

"I love you too, but that's no reason to address me as 'my god,'" Monica said and Chandler almost laughed.

"I wish I could just go to bed and wake up and have this be a dream," he said, still holding Monica tight in his arms.

"Wanna just go to bed?"

"That works too," he said and and stood up, holding her hand.

~*~*~*~*~

Chandler lie awake, there was no way he could get to sleep. There was way too much to think about. Too much to worry about.

Monica couldn't sleep. She could tell by Chandler's breathing that he was still awake too. "Penny for your thoughts," she whispered.

Chandler rolled onto his side so that he as facing Monica and sighed. "I…" he started but trailed off. "Mon, I can't lose her. Is that selfish, or what? Soemone just died, and all I can think is that I can't lose her. I'm scared of losing her…I'm scared of having to answer her questions about Kathy," he paused again, "I'm scared of having to take her to Chicago and facing Kathy's family, who probably think that I'm some jerk who got her pregnant and left…I'm just, god, I don't even know," Chandler said giving up.

Monica once again kissed him, for lack of anything to say, but he didn't mind. Chandler kissed back, and Monica pulled his shirt up and over his head. As soon as she did, they were kissing again, all of Chandler's worries disappearing.

The doorknob jingled, and Chandler rolled over, trying to catch his breath.

"I'm scared," Alex said walking over to Chadnler's side of the bed. Chandler pulled her up onto the bed, and he lay down next to him. He remembered something Ross had said, about rubbing Ben's back to calm him down and put him back to sleep.

Chandler rubbed her back, trying to calm both Alex and himself down. When he was sure that she was back to sleep, he rolled back over to Monica. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," monica said cuddling up next to him. "It'll eventually be okay, ya know," she whisered.

"Yeah,"he said and kissed her, "or atleast hope so." He could only pray that it would be…

To

Be

Continued…..

Review…or else I'll kill Chandler and have Monica marry Richard!!!! Or kill Monica and have Chandler marry Janice!!!! Yeah, I wouldn't do that….I'd kill Monica and have Chandler marry me!!!! Where was I going???? Oh yeah, please review!!!!! Thanx~