Title: Lies The Difference
Rating: G
Pairings: Inuyasha/Kagome
Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, unfortunately, and this is written without permission.
Summary: He loved her because she was simply Kagome. Because she was kind, loving, open and herself. Because she wanted him to be happy... He was happiest with her. [Inuyasha/Kagome waff]
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She mumbled in her sleep, rolling over and dislodging Shippo from his place curled into her side. He fell over with her, crawling up against her again, not waking up in the process.
Inuyasha snorted quietly, watching this with eyes mere slits. The other girl and the houshi were beside each other, both having rolled towards each other in their sleep.
He was the only one awake, being unable to sleep for more than an hour at a time. Sunrise, he estimated would be in about two hours.
Claws scratched slowly at the branch below him, gouges digging into the bark. He liked the nights. It gave him time to think, time to consider things. Life, choices. Dreams and goals. Kagome...
He liked thinking about her. Not because he cared about her, he told himself. Just because she was so confusing. For example, why did she cry all the time? He wondered about that a lot.
She stirred again, this time towards the tiny kitsune. Her fingers curled naturally into the kit's tail. Slender fingers, soft and pale. He wondered how they would feel in his hair, her soft lips against his. Soft--
He stopped his thought immediately, changing his gaze to the stars. The new moon was coming up next week. He grimaced. That wasn't a good thought either.
Sighing, he looked down again. Thinking about kisses was better. Kikyo had given him his first kiss. His only kiss, actually. There weren't many other who would. Half-demon females were rare, and no full-blooded demon females were willing to speak to him. A female's worth, even a demon female's, lay mostly in her ability to produce more powerful offspring. A female became stronger after coupling with a more powerful demon. They had no need of half-breeds.
Kikyo hadn't wanted power, and to be completely honest, she hadn't needed it. Her goal was to be normal. Which is why, Inuyasha thought bitterly, she had wanted him to become mortal. Probably she wouldn't have taken a supernatural creature if he had refused, and wouldn't have thought of him again.
Kagome was different. That was obvious. She smiled more, she laughed and cried. Kikyo had always been solemn and cold, indifferent most of the time. They were similar in appearance, mostly. But there were times he saw his first love in Kagome. The stubbornness and her will were like Kikyo's. Looking back, he could see Kagome's fierce love for people in Kikyo, her laughter and even her smile.
In the beginning, he had only seen Kikyo, never Kagome. But time passed, and it began to switch on him. Where he once saw Kikyo's smile, then became Kagome's. Instead of seeing Kikyo in Kagome, he saw Kagome in Kikyo.
Once he realized this, he tried to stop it. He owed Kikyo everything. After all, it was his fault she was dead. He fought a losing battle , one he wasn't even sure he wanted to win. Loving Kikyo had been easy. They had been cold and stubborn. She asked only for him to be mortal, and that was all. Neither gave anything of themselves and nothing was expected.
Kagome was more difficult. He didn't want to love her. she expected him to be good, she never thought he could be anything but good. Sure, she hated his attitude and arrogance, but cared for him in spite of it. Kikyo had loved him without thinking about it. They had been alike in that respect. She hadn't cared if he was noble, or valiant and kind. Those things meant nothing to her. Kagome wanted him to be better, know he could be better. And, he realized, he wanted to be better for her. That was what made it so difficult. Kikyo had wanted him to give up his youkai body, and Kagome wanted him to give up his anger and attitude. Which of them was better?
"That," Miroku said, "is not true."
Inuyasha jumped, nearly shearing off the entire branch with his claws. "Damn it, don't do that."
The monk ignored him, casting a lecherous glance towards the demon slayer next to him. "You've been talking out loud for the past ten minutes. I couldn't help overhearing." He looked up at the demon in the tree. "Kagome-sama does not expect anything of you. That makes her better than Kikyo-sama."
The dog-demon growled softly. "I didn't ask your opinion, houshi."
"Well, it's a good thing I've offering it, then, isn't it?" He got up slowly, adding a few pieces of wood to the fire. "Kikyo-sama was the one who expected everything of you. To become human, to settle down, to live as only her husband. And that, Inuyasha, means she expected you to be good."
Inuyasha turned wooden eyes to the sky. "Like I said, I didn't ask for your opinions."
Miroku grinned. "Only one more thing. Kagome-sama wants you to be happy. That's all. If you think she wants you to be a hero, then that's only what you expect of yourself. What you think she deserves." The priest yawned widely, and laid back down, chuckling as he snuggled up beside Sango.
The demon snorted, "lecher."
Miroku continued, his voice fogged with sleep. "Kagome-sama is more innocent than Kikyo. She sees the same good in you that Kikyo saw, but she sees only the good and trusts you implicitly because of it, however she may act otherwise. Kikyo recognized that you have faults and took them to heart because she needed to know your weaknesses so she could defeat you if the time came. In case you turned on her." Miroku yawned again. "What I mean is that Kagome trusts you and Kikyo did not . Therein lies the difference."
Inuyasha snorted and turned away. Miroku fell silent, snoring softly a few minutes later. Inuyasha stared softly at the girl with the kitsune. And gently, his face softened.
Kikyo had been frigid at worst, cool, sad and considering at best. He had loved her, certainly. And in her cool way, she had loved him. But they had never really trusted each other. Trust meant believing in someone other than yourself, risking that you lose... something.
Kagome acted as if trust was presupposed, until proven otherwise. Trusting him even after he's tried to kill her, even though he had called her an enemy. She confused him, yes, but he had grown to trust her in return.
He loved her. That was suddenly clear to him. He loved her because she was simply Kagome. Because she was kind, loving, open and herself. Because she wasn't Kikyo, and she wanted him to be happy.
He was happiest with her.
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And who can say
if your love grows
as your heart chose
- only time.
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Author's Notes: The lyrics above are from Enya's 'Only Time.' It's a really beautiful song, but I don't own it.
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