~Chapter Four. Told by Fujin.
Apology. He apologized to me... Just another mouth to feed. It hurts- still. Even though Seifer apologized. Seifer... I walked in and took my shift. Another female bartender greeted me.
"Hey! I'm Gina. Pleased to meet you."
"PLEASURE. AM FUJIN." I say, trying my best to be polite. Polite, my ass. What I'm trying to do is see if any of these girls have listened to Seifer when he's drunk. It might work... Why am I interested anyway? Who cares about Seifer? He treats you like shit... I guess I care... just a little though.
"THE Fujin?!" What the hell are you talking about?
"FUJIN SANADA."
"Ooh, my gawd, you live with Seifer?" ...Hm.
"POSITIVE."
"I've hurd so much about ya!" She had an awful accent...
"FROM WHO?"
"Seifer, of course..."
"KNOW SEIFER?"
"...Yes, he comes here and drinks alot at two-thirty to three thirty-everyday... You didn't know that?" That bastard! He doesn't work until four!
"NO..."
"Whoops. Don't tell him a told you..."
"TELL ME. WHAT HE SAYS."
"Okay, okay. Let's just take these customers' orders." We did so, and then I walked up to her.
"WHAT HE SAY?"
"Lets sit down. I'll tell ya everything I know!" Hm... things are working out better than I thought... But I can not believe he only works until two-thirty. That two faced liar. I wonder why I even care.
"...Well, he says what a failure he is... And how he's ruined... well, you. He says something about some guy named Raijin, and how he's happy as can be, but he says he's destroyed you..." ...What? I don't believe it... It's not true.
"HOW MUCH PAY?"
"What?"
"...HOW MUCH. DID SEIFER PAY? FOR YOU. SAY THIS."
"Nothin'. This is all true."
"CANNOT BE."
"Why not?"
"SEIFER. HATE ME." I say, regretting it once it was out of my mouth.
"He does not! He actually cares for you... alot. ..."
~~~
Gina left, her shift was over, and at the end of the day, I went home. Well... Seifer hadn't come into the bar, but that could just be because he didn't want me to know about him getting drunk all of the time. Seifer had just gotten home from the looks of things, and Raijin was cooking again... But, so what else was new? Seifer was sitting out on the balcony, smoking... Maybe I could get one of his cigarettes. Walking out there, I didn't say two words, it seemed as though he was in deep thought, so I took one out on my own, and leaned on the railing, to watch the gold sun set. Was it true? The things Gina said that Seifer said...? Is it true, any of it? Its impossible; for him to care for me; alot? After some more thought, I put my cigarette out in my usual manner, and toss it over the edge, purposfully aiming for the top of a bus.
"You shouldn't do that." I nearly jump at his voice breaking the silence.
"WHAT? THROW ON BUS?" I ask, knowing he'd nod as if I was stupid.
"No, put it out with your fingertips." What?
"WHY?"
"... You'll ruin your fingers."
"SO?" I ruined his moment of caring, again. Damn me... Damn him... And damn Raijin for coming out and telling us to come eat.
We sat in silence. Raijin forgot the bread, and I messed around with the meat on my plate with a fork.
"Say, Fujin, are you gonna eat that?"
"NO."
"Can I have it?" Everything went silent again. Seifer stopped chewing and looked up, and Raijin looked at us both as if we were insane. I say the same thing everytime... why does everyone stop and look up... to see what I'll say.
"NO." I say, just to change. Seifer's jaw dropped. Wow, I didn't think it'd have so much impact... Raijin shrugged, and went back to eating. Seifer still stared at me. I reluctantly shoved a forkful of the brownish crap into my mouth. Seifer went back to eating. When we finished (yes, I ate everything), I had an awful stomachache, and went out to sit outside, clutching my stomach. I *knew* I shouldn't of said "no"... I changed everything... with steak? Sighing, I sat down, and reached for a cigarette, but vouched not to, I thought it'd probably just make me feel worse. Seifer walked out already smoking.
"THROW OUT. PLEASE?" I say, pointing toward the railing.
"Err... sure." He put it on the ground, stepped on it, than kicked it off the balcony. "You okay? You look a little pale..."
"FUNNY? SUPPOSED TO BE? IS NOT." I mutter.
"No, I mean, you look sick... Damn, I'm sorry for being concerned." He muttered, turning to walk back inside.
"WAIT." I said. He stopped and turned toward me.
"What?"
"STAY. WITH ME." ...Why did I ask him that? He sat beside me, and my heart started to pound. Why?
"So... didja want something?"
"NEGATIVE."
"Okay..." Actually, yes, I wanted to ask you if what Gina said was true... but... I won't.
"Did you hear about the new sorceress?"
"A LITTLE."
"She's supposed to be dangerous..."
"INTERESTING. NO KNIGHTHOOD, SEIFER."
"I know, I know!" I leaned my head back and looked up at the faded stars, and the dark sky that had devoured my sunset. Devoured my heart. What if I'm a star, who's just faded, by city lights...? Glancing over at Seifer, who was staring ahead, I sighed.
"THINKING ABOUT. WHAT?"
"Nothing."
"TELL ME."
"Just... stuff."
"LIKE?"
"Stuff. Look, Fujin. I'm tired, and I need sleep. Good night." No, Seifer, don't leave... What? Where did *that* come from?
"FAREWELL." I was confused. My stomach hurt. I really needed a smoke... But it will make me feel worse... Ugh, dammit. Gina was obviously misinformed, or lying, because there was no way in hell, that Seifer cared for me, at all. I could hope, I could dream... but it would never be real... Why am I so concerned anyway? I don't love Seifer... Love?! Where did that word come from...? Oh god... I buried my face in my hands and let a groan escape me. Raijin scurried away from the doorway. Great. See me in my depression. Step right fucking up!
Sighing, I stood up and walked into the bedroom, and plopped next to Seifer, not even bothering to get out of my clothes. I wanted to be far away from Seifer right now, but you can only go so faraway on a small cot, so, I was about three inches away from his bare back. Bare back...? Why is he sleeping shirtless in the middle of fucking winter? His muscles... golden skin. Ugh, Fujin, STOP IT! Rolling over on my side, I sighed in anguish, wondering how the hell I got into this predicament anyway...
Apology. He apologized to me... Just another mouth to feed. It hurts- still. Even though Seifer apologized. Seifer... I walked in and took my shift. Another female bartender greeted me.
"Hey! I'm Gina. Pleased to meet you."
"PLEASURE. AM FUJIN." I say, trying my best to be polite. Polite, my ass. What I'm trying to do is see if any of these girls have listened to Seifer when he's drunk. It might work... Why am I interested anyway? Who cares about Seifer? He treats you like shit... I guess I care... just a little though.
"THE Fujin?!" What the hell are you talking about?
"FUJIN SANADA."
"Ooh, my gawd, you live with Seifer?" ...Hm.
"POSITIVE."
"I've hurd so much about ya!" She had an awful accent...
"FROM WHO?"
"Seifer, of course..."
"KNOW SEIFER?"
"...Yes, he comes here and drinks alot at two-thirty to three thirty-everyday... You didn't know that?" That bastard! He doesn't work until four!
"NO..."
"Whoops. Don't tell him a told you..."
"TELL ME. WHAT HE SAYS."
"Okay, okay. Let's just take these customers' orders." We did so, and then I walked up to her.
"WHAT HE SAY?"
"Lets sit down. I'll tell ya everything I know!" Hm... things are working out better than I thought... But I can not believe he only works until two-thirty. That two faced liar. I wonder why I even care.
"...Well, he says what a failure he is... And how he's ruined... well, you. He says something about some guy named Raijin, and how he's happy as can be, but he says he's destroyed you..." ...What? I don't believe it... It's not true.
"HOW MUCH PAY?"
"What?"
"...HOW MUCH. DID SEIFER PAY? FOR YOU. SAY THIS."
"Nothin'. This is all true."
"CANNOT BE."
"Why not?"
"SEIFER. HATE ME." I say, regretting it once it was out of my mouth.
"He does not! He actually cares for you... alot. ..."
~~~
Gina left, her shift was over, and at the end of the day, I went home. Well... Seifer hadn't come into the bar, but that could just be because he didn't want me to know about him getting drunk all of the time. Seifer had just gotten home from the looks of things, and Raijin was cooking again... But, so what else was new? Seifer was sitting out on the balcony, smoking... Maybe I could get one of his cigarettes. Walking out there, I didn't say two words, it seemed as though he was in deep thought, so I took one out on my own, and leaned on the railing, to watch the gold sun set. Was it true? The things Gina said that Seifer said...? Is it true, any of it? Its impossible; for him to care for me; alot? After some more thought, I put my cigarette out in my usual manner, and toss it over the edge, purposfully aiming for the top of a bus.
"You shouldn't do that." I nearly jump at his voice breaking the silence.
"WHAT? THROW ON BUS?" I ask, knowing he'd nod as if I was stupid.
"No, put it out with your fingertips." What?
"WHY?"
"... You'll ruin your fingers."
"SO?" I ruined his moment of caring, again. Damn me... Damn him... And damn Raijin for coming out and telling us to come eat.
We sat in silence. Raijin forgot the bread, and I messed around with the meat on my plate with a fork.
"Say, Fujin, are you gonna eat that?"
"NO."
"Can I have it?" Everything went silent again. Seifer stopped chewing and looked up, and Raijin looked at us both as if we were insane. I say the same thing everytime... why does everyone stop and look up... to see what I'll say.
"NO." I say, just to change. Seifer's jaw dropped. Wow, I didn't think it'd have so much impact... Raijin shrugged, and went back to eating. Seifer still stared at me. I reluctantly shoved a forkful of the brownish crap into my mouth. Seifer went back to eating. When we finished (yes, I ate everything), I had an awful stomachache, and went out to sit outside, clutching my stomach. I *knew* I shouldn't of said "no"... I changed everything... with steak? Sighing, I sat down, and reached for a cigarette, but vouched not to, I thought it'd probably just make me feel worse. Seifer walked out already smoking.
"THROW OUT. PLEASE?" I say, pointing toward the railing.
"Err... sure." He put it on the ground, stepped on it, than kicked it off the balcony. "You okay? You look a little pale..."
"FUNNY? SUPPOSED TO BE? IS NOT." I mutter.
"No, I mean, you look sick... Damn, I'm sorry for being concerned." He muttered, turning to walk back inside.
"WAIT." I said. He stopped and turned toward me.
"What?"
"STAY. WITH ME." ...Why did I ask him that? He sat beside me, and my heart started to pound. Why?
"So... didja want something?"
"NEGATIVE."
"Okay..." Actually, yes, I wanted to ask you if what Gina said was true... but... I won't.
"Did you hear about the new sorceress?"
"A LITTLE."
"She's supposed to be dangerous..."
"INTERESTING. NO KNIGHTHOOD, SEIFER."
"I know, I know!" I leaned my head back and looked up at the faded stars, and the dark sky that had devoured my sunset. Devoured my heart. What if I'm a star, who's just faded, by city lights...? Glancing over at Seifer, who was staring ahead, I sighed.
"THINKING ABOUT. WHAT?"
"Nothing."
"TELL ME."
"Just... stuff."
"LIKE?"
"Stuff. Look, Fujin. I'm tired, and I need sleep. Good night." No, Seifer, don't leave... What? Where did *that* come from?
"FAREWELL." I was confused. My stomach hurt. I really needed a smoke... But it will make me feel worse... Ugh, dammit. Gina was obviously misinformed, or lying, because there was no way in hell, that Seifer cared for me, at all. I could hope, I could dream... but it would never be real... Why am I so concerned anyway? I don't love Seifer... Love?! Where did that word come from...? Oh god... I buried my face in my hands and let a groan escape me. Raijin scurried away from the doorway. Great. See me in my depression. Step right fucking up!
Sighing, I stood up and walked into the bedroom, and plopped next to Seifer, not even bothering to get out of my clothes. I wanted to be far away from Seifer right now, but you can only go so faraway on a small cot, so, I was about three inches away from his bare back. Bare back...? Why is he sleeping shirtless in the middle of fucking winter? His muscles... golden skin. Ugh, Fujin, STOP IT! Rolling over on my side, I sighed in anguish, wondering how the hell I got into this predicament anyway...
