Lunatic Parade-106

Written by Gabe Ricard

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine so don't sue

Nothing much in the way of an intro except to say enjoy the story. And for those of you who have wanted me to out Ronfar and Leo…well…this episode is for you.

Hiro: So, my ass doesn't look big?

Lucia: No

Hiro: What a relief

Lucia: (Talking to herself) please don't ask about the pimples, please don't ask about the pimples

Hiro: But what about those pimples all over my-

Lucia: We're on!

Hiro: Oh…welcome to the HIRO SHOW!!!

Ruby: Hiro…for the 57th and final time…we are not calling it the Hiro show

Hiro: Why the hell not?!

Ruby: Because you're not the sole reason people watch the show

Hiro: What?

Jean: We took a poll…99.9 percent of those polled said they would prefer moldy dog crap to you as a host

Hiro: So why am I the host?!

Jean: Because we hate moldy dog crap and we're also too lazy to host the show

Hiro: (Starts to cry)

Ruby: Oh quit it and move on with the show…bring out our guest

Hiro: (Wipes away the deep, bitter tears) Fine…our guest for today is…Al Pacino!

(Screen lowers with Al on it)

Al Pacino: Evening everyone

Hiro: Wow…you're awfully subdued

Al Pacino: WHAT?! BEING CALM NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?! HUH?!!? HUH!?!?!?

Hiro: Woah! Woah! Settle down…okay…ummm

A Pacino: Ask me about my film career…

Hiro: Works for me…okay…any projects on the horizon?

Al Pacino: OH…I GET IT YOU LITTLE BASATRD! DON'T THINK I CAN FIND WORK HUH?!? IS THAT IT PIGFUCKER!!?!?!?!

Ruby: This is not going well

Hiro: (Whispering) Ronfar…change the signal

Ronfar: Right-O

Al Pacino: TRYING TO CUT ME OFF?! OH YOU'LL PAY!! OH HOW YOU WILL ALL FUCKING PAY!!! (Screen goes fuzzy)

Hiro: Whew…now…who lined him up?

Ronfar: I did…

Hiro: Pain time Ronfar…get down here

Ronfar: Awww

(Ronfar comes into the studio. Wearing tight black leather pants and a Queen shirt)

Ronfar: Yeah?

Hiro: Okay…that's it…where's Leo?

(Leo appears wearing bicycle shorts and a WHAM shirt)

Leo: Right here

Hiro: It's confession time for you two

Leo: (Gasps) you mean…you know?

Ronfar: About us?

Hiro: Yeah

Lucia: I don't get it

Jean: (Whispers in Lucia's ear)

Lucia: Really?! And don't EVER put your tongue anywhere near my ear again!

Jean: Sorry…don't tell Lemina okay?

Lucia: Maybe I will

Jean: (Gulps)

Hiro: Let's hear it guys…the people have a right to know

Ronfar: Fine…Leo and I are…Gay

(Total silence from the studio)

Leo: James and Martin Gay…the Gay Brothers

Hiro: (Gasps) The former country music team?!
Leo: (Lowers head in shame) the same

Ronfar: We did it in our college days to make some money…when it got big we put an end to it and went back to our real names

Leo: It's a secret we were going to carry to our graves…until now

Ruby: But those clothes! And the way you two act around each other?

Leo: Well…he IS banging my sister

Ronfar: And we just like these clothes

Leo: Wait a second…you didn't think WE were actually gay do you?

Hiro: Well…

Jean: Yes

Ronfar: (Bursts out laughing) Are you serious?! US? Gay?

Leo: Man…you guys are really stupid

Hiro: Just go back to the control room…(Turns to Leo) You…go make us some Jell-O

Leo: Blue?

Hiro: Of course

Leo: (Heads off)

Hiro: Now…I think I'm going to dance…Jean lay some funky beats on us

(Jean lays the funky beats)

Hiro: (Dancing) yeah…can't touch this!
Ruby: (Taps him on the shoulder) I just did!
Hiro: (Swats Ruby out the window) Ha! I'M THE GOD! YES I'M THE GOD!

Lucia: We lose an awful lot of windows that way

Jean: I know…Hiro's never going to stop dancing. Wanna go out for a drink…place called Meow Mix

Lucia: Now I'm REALLY going to tell Lemina…LEEEEMINNAAAAA

Lemina: Yeah?

Lucia: Jean's hitting on me

Lemina: That's okay…she'd LOVE to know what I did with the two Sailor Scouts last night

Jean: (Stops) please tell me!

Lemina: No

Jean: Please?

Lemina: No

(Al Pacino suddenly appears with a shotgun)
Al Pacino: SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!! (Opens fire, everyone flees except for Hiro who continues to dance. Al walks over to the camera)

Al Pacino: You talking to me? You talking to me?

Nall: I thought that was De Niro

(Al Pacino shoots him then the camera)

End.

I think the gay joke has played it's course don't you…Jean will continue to be a lesbian…because I like that…Lemina I'm not sure about. Still, the jokes will be downplayed now that I had my fun with the Ronfar/Leo thing. Thanks for reading and be sure to let me know what you think.