A/N- Okay, I would like to apologize in advance for this fic. I don't know why I wrote this, this was just some weird story that popped into my head the other day. I figured it might be funny to do, what with the movie coming out this week. Personally, I think JKR is a genius and the greatest writer of all time. So anyway, now that I've scared most of you off, go ahead and read this. But if you don't like it, you don't have to review. If you think its funny though, go ahead and tell me so.
Dear Ms. Rowling,
First of all, we would like to congratulate you on the success of your book series, and the assured success of the upcoming movie. Our connections to the Muggle world tell us that the so-called Pottermania had pretty much swept the globe. There are few in the Muggle world that have not heard the name Harry Potter, just like in the Wizarding world. We are told to expect a fifth, sixth and seventh book at least, which brings us to the point of the letter.
This is yet another plea for you to stop stalking us. We don't want to seem incredibly rude. We are, after all, flattered that you chose us to write about of all people in the Wizarding world. However, you must admit we do have some grounds for fear when you have exposed so much about our world, which we have tried for so long to keep secret. And anyone would be scared, when you seem to have the ability not only to find Hogwarts, despite the fact that you are Muggle, but are also able to find out everything about us and still escape detection. We hope you can understand our concerns when you are able to, say, spy on us during classes and private conversations, and seemingly read our minds, such as knowing who I-er-Mr. Potter has a crush on.
As far as how you have been able to escape our notice, despite our best efforts, has remained a mystery and probably will continue to for quite a while. We have also noticed the Ministry restraining orders have failed to do much good. So this is our final plea. Please stop stalking us, it's freaking us out something awful. Even Voldemort- (Ron) don't say that name! - Oh shut up would you Ron? Even Voldemort is afraid of you, as you seem to know exactly what he is doing too, and when I-er-Mr. Potter dreams about him, even before I-er-he admits it to anyone. So please, we beg of you, stop spying on us and writing about lives. We would hate to have to use the Secret Keeper spell, but will if necessary. We appreciate the co-operation we hope you provide.
Sincerely,
Harry Potter Ron Weasley Hermione Granger Draco Malfoy
Gred and Forge Fred and George Weasley (there, happy now Ron? Yes. )
Albus Dumbledore Rubeus Hagrid Severus Snape Minerva McGonnagall
Remus Lupin Sirius Black Peter Pettigrew
Lord Voldemort
