Mara sighed as she landed her ship. The trip had only taken her a few hours and she knew it had done nothing to improve her mood. She had done a lot of thinking during the trip. She had dealt enough with the Emperor to know not to trust everything she read. She also knew that she had been lead to the disk by the Force. She figured she just needed to be careful until she could find out if the information she had discovered was true or not. With her decision weighing heavily on her mind, Mara quickly went through the shut down procedures for the Jade's Fire and exited her ship, stepping onto the sand caked ground that had resulted from the bright suns of Tatooine.
"Mara!"
She turned, hoping to find Luke, but saw Han waving her down instead. Wondering why he was the one waiting for her, she headed in his direction to ask just that.
"Luke's on his way here, but I was closer," he told her, answering her unspoken question. "Need a ride in? I'll call Luke and tell him to turn around and meet us there."
"I don't plan on staying," she informed him. "Skywalker asked me to bring something for him. I plan on dropping it off and then I'm out of here."
"It has been a long flight," he explained with an apologetic smile. "I was told to not let you leave until after you have rested. Sorry, Mara."
"Agh! Why did I even bother to come here?" she fumed, regrettably following Han back to his speeder. She knew that the longer she waited the harder time she was going to have when she had to talk to Luke.
Han drove them out onto the main street and headed out of town into the endless vastness of sand.
How could anyone live in such a place? She thought to herself.
It's home, Mara heard. Her first instinct was that she let her guard down and Luke had gotten through to her, but the voice she heard was distinctly female. She turned to see if Han had heard that strange female voice, but he gave no indications of having heard it.
When it's all you know it's easy to love it.
Who are you? Mara asked the voice inside her head.
You know who I am. It was when she said that, that Mara figured out that it had to be Arielle. The voice matched, but she had never talked to her this way. There was only a handful of people that had ever been able to talk to her through the Force.
Since when can you talk to me? Mara asked, wondering if she had finally gone crazy.
I'm not sure. I've never done this before. I was just thinking about you and I heard your question. Maybe you being on Tatooine has something to do with it. … What's wrong, Mara? You seem worried, what has happened?
Please, just leave me alone, Mara said. If it weren't for you, none of this would be happening.
But…
STOP! Mara quickly drew her barriers up tight around her, block out anything else the Force was trying to send her.
She looked behind her and realized they were now away from the larger city and on their way to the much smaller one where she knew Luke grew up near. Han picked that moment to contact Luke.
"Hey Luke, you out there?" Han said into the com unit.
"Yeah, I'm here."
"Hey kid, I saved you a trip. Mara's here with me."
"Great," Luke's voice came back. "Thanks, Han. Is everything alright?"
Mara could feel Luke's concern. He had been attempting to reach her through the Force for nearly an hour. She had been able to ignore him up until now. The first time she actually talked to him she wanted it to be in person. So when Han offered her the com and she looked away. If she had not wanted to contact him through the Force, she certainly did not want to speak to him now. Han took the hint and addressed Luke once again.
"Everything's fine kid," he said, glancing back at Mara. "I arrived just as she was landing. We will be there soon."
"I see," Luke said. The cheerfulness in his voice diminishing slightly. "I'll see you when you get there then."
"Mara, relax," Han said as he put the com unit away. "Luke wants for you to be happy. We all understand how you feel. Just let Luke know, when we get there, that you are having second thoughts."
"Second thoughts?" she asked, wondering if Luke had picked up what she was thinking after all.
"About staying with us at Arielle's parents, the Serears'. Luke told me how you said you wanted to come. No one would blame you if you found out that being here made you feel uncomfortable."
"Thanks," Mara snapped, "But I think I can handle them."
"Then what's wrong?" Han asked.
She opened her mouth to explain. She wanted to get this over with, but she closed it without a word. She wanted it over with, but telling him anything but maybe what he thought of when he looked at her.
"I don't want to talk about it," she said instead.
"Well, then you don't have to," he said, relaxing into the driver's seat. "Just listen to me, OK," he pleaded with her, smiling reassuringly. "Whatever is bothering you, talk to Luke about it. You are the one that is always telling us that we need to stop doing what we think is best for him, and tell him the truth. He deserves it now as much as he ever did."
"And what would you say if I told you that I know now why you guys did what you did," Mara whispered.
"I would say that Luke was lucky to know you," Han said, smiling again.
"Why is that?" Mara asked, looking out at the endless sand dunes.
"Because it would mean that you care about him and realize he deserves better than the life he has now."
"He deserves to live… happily," she said, attempting to count the numerous sand dunes that zoomed pasted her.
"Exactly," Han exclaimed, slamming his hand down on the seat next to him to emphasize his point.
"Well… what if he can't have both?" Mara asked, not sure what made her ask him that question. For someone who wanted to keep things quiet, she sure was talking a lot. It took all her will power not to jump when she saw Han looked at her shocked, and she knew she had said too much.
"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked. She could feel the heat of his stare and she wanted, more than anything, to be out of the speeder.
"It was just a question," she said, dismissing it with a wave of her hand. "You are right, he deserves to hear the truth." Just as soon as I can find a way to tell him, she added to herself. She sat in silence for the rest of the trip. A trip that took less time than she thought it would. Just like she figured, Luke was waiting when they got there.
Han was first out of the speeder and grabbed Mara's bag out of the back of the vehicle. Mara was out of the speeder, before he got the bag situated on his shoulder.
"Where is everyone, kid?" he asked Luke, who was walking towards them.
"Gores and Shiella went shopping," Luke told him. "Leia and the kids are inside."
"Thanks." Han walked to the house, glancing back at them before disappearing inside.
"Mara, thank you for coming so quickly," he said before he reached her side. A smile peeked through her gloom at the site of him.
"You're welcome, Luke." She pulled a black cloth out of her pocket, and unfolded it. "I believe this is what you wanted."
"You know," Luke said, taking it with another smile. "This was only part of the reason I called you," he told her, his gaze never leaving her face.
"What was the other reason?" she asked. She could feel her resolve melting just by talking to him. Deciding that she could enjoy his company for a few minutes, she whipped everything else out of her mind.
"Because I wanted to see you," he admitted. She could feel her face blossom into a full smile. She realized now how much she had missed him, how much she liked having someone happy to see her. She found that she was beginning to crave the attention.
"You're sweet," she said. She had seen such a change in him over the last few days. She now looked forward to his smile, that now tended to melt her heart every time she saw it. She could also recall how he had reacted to bad news in the past. She wanted him happy, and she was sure she could hold off from telling him anything, at least for a little while.
"Are you alright?" he asked. She could, once again, feel his concern and it broke her heart. "I have been trying to reach you for a while now."
"Have you?" Mara asked, trying to convince him that she honestly did not notice his calls. "I was really busy. I'm sorry." From the look on his face, she was not sure if she had succeeded, and she did not dare reach out and find out. Knowing Luke though, probably not.
"Okay," he said. "I was hoping it wasn't just you trying to avoid me." He stood, watching her, no longer talking, and she knew that he was waiting for her to say something, but she could not think of anything to say. "You know you can tell me anything," he finally continued when it became apparent that she was not speaking. "Whatever it is, we will deal with it."
"I know," she told him. She was trying to organize her thoughts when she heard something behind her. Thankful for the interruption she turned to see an older couple walking up to the house holding a bag in each hand.
"Just a second, Mara," Luke said, touching Mara's arm. "Do you need any help?" He called out to the couple.
"No, Luke dear," Shiella said. They were both walking slowly but steadily up to Luke and Mara. "We can handle it just fine. Is this your friend?"
"Yes," Luke said, turning so he could introduce everyone. "Gores, Shiella Serears, I would like you to meet Mara Jade. Mara, this is Gores and Shiella."
"It's good to meet you, Mara." Gores said, nodding at her.
"Come, child," Shiella said. Nodding her head towards the house. "You must be tired after all that travelling."
"No, really, I'm fine," Mara argued. Wishing she had taken what chance she had and talked to Luke, so she could just leave.
"Shush now. Come inside, get out of the suns," Shiella said, walking up into the house then inside, followed closely by her husband. Mara looked at Luke, astonished at their behavior. She was now getting the feeling that Luke had not been the one to insist she stay, or at least not the only one.
--
It was later that evening when Mara found herself alone on the porch of the old Tatooinian home. She had taken a while to rest, but was bothered again by dreams of Arielle. The girl seemed to be able to tell where Mara was at, and seemed fascinated that Mara was sleeping in what used to be her house. Her fascination seemed to over shadow anything Mara might have learned from that dream, so she found herself no closer to any suitable answers to her problems. So, she had been studying the night sky, trying to pull herself back to the decision that brought her here. The one she originally thought was the best idea. One look into Luke's eyes had shattered every ounce of strength she had. And in that moment of weakness she had began to doubt her ideas.
There has to be another way, she thought. She wanted him to be happy, but what if it killed him? What would I do if I knew something he was doing would harm him? She asked herself. I would make him stop. However, it was not that easy. It wasn't too hard to tell Luke what he should and should not do, but how could she convince herself of the same thing? How could she leave him, knowing that it would break his heart, but also save his life? There had to be away to help him, without hurting him.
"There are no answers there." Mara turned to the sound of the voice. Shiella stood watching her from the door. "Trust me, I have looked. The answers are here," she said, placing her hand over her heart. "You just have to know how to look for them."
"Thank you." Mara said. Shaking her head in bemusement after the woman disappeared back into the house. She was just settling back into her thoughts when the door opened again. This time Luke came out and sat beside her.
"Shiella thought you might need some company," Luke said.
"As a matter of fact, company would be nice," she said, watching him. "But I did not ask her to send you out here."
"I believe it. It's really strange the way they can pick things up. You would think they were Jedi. Arielle was the same way, I guess that's where she got it from."
"I thought she was adopted," Mara said, without thinking. Realizing that she may had just let go of her secret, she worried that he would start demanding the answers that he had all rights to know, and she knew she would have to tell him if he did.
Luke stopped and looked at her. "How did you know she was adopted?" he asked.
"Oh, I did a little checking," she said, trying to cover her slip the best she could.
He watched her for a minute, then smiled. "I figured you would. Did it help you?"
"What do you mean help me?" she asked, wondering what he was up to. Him getting quiet she expected, or even getting upset, but to turn and be concerned about her was not anything like she thought.
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
She smiled slightly when she realized that he was not upset at all, and would not be asking her any uncomfortable questions. "Yes, I think I found what I was looking for."
"Well, I'm glad. As long as you are happy."
"Time to come in, you two," came the weathered voice from inside the house. "We are locking up for the night."
"Are you leaving tomorrow?" Luke asked, standing, lifting his hands above his head to stretch.
"I'm not sure," she said, smiling as she watched him move. The move was innocent in nature, but it stirred such feelings in her, that she was afraid she would not be able to resist.
"I would like for you to stay," he said, offering her his hand, and helping her stand.
"I might be willing to be talked into staying at least another day," she told him. Knowing, on some level, that she would not be leaving anytime soon.
"What would it take to convince you?" he asked, a playful gleam shining in his eyes.
"I don't know," she said.
"Will you please stay?" he asked, taking her hands in his. Her pulse quickened, as he studied her face. She wanted more then anything to spend more time with him. The air grew thick as they drew closer.
"I can stay another day," she whispered, her lips barley an inch from his.
---
Mara was sitting at the table having spent an interesting morning with Luke and his family. Han and Leia had just left to pick up a few things, and Shiella and Gores had gone outside. Luke had just finished cleaning away the latest round of memories before lunch, and Mara found herself more and more unwilling to spoil everyone's good time. So far she had been able to keep in control of the situation, deciding that unless something drastic changed, she would wait until they left Tatooine to tell him on the way back to Coruscant. It shouldn't take much to get him to accompany her on the Fire. That way everyone could have their vacation, without her messing it up.
She was beginning to think that the data card had been false. Luke and her had shared a nice intimate moment on the porch and as far as she could tell Luke suffered no ill effects from the experience. She was beginning to think that the previous headaches had just been a coincidence.
She had been thinking a lot again about the dreams she had been having. It had occurred to her how different her visits from Arielle had become. She wondered, belatedly, which room was hers. Was it the one that Mara herself was sleeping in? She had looked inside each of the rooms in the house during her stay, and there was no telling which room had been Arielle's. There was nothing in any room that would suggest that it once had a young teenager living in it.
Mara was surprised at how few pictures there were of the Serears' daughter, and granddaughter. There was one, she saw, of Arielle out in the living area. But all the pictures of her, and her young family, were all tucked away somewhere. They had spent the morning looking through some of them.
It must be hard, she thought, to keep the reminders around. It had been hard for her to deal with the reminders that she had lost out on something in her life, but to lose someone, it was almost too hard to picture.
Mara sighed to herself, Come to think of it, I didn't have a dream last night, but I almost wish that I had. At least in the dreams Mara found answers. She felt like she was lost and there was nowhere to turn. The Force was staying strangely quiet about this one. As if, it itself had no idea what she should do, or she was just meant to find it out on her own.
"Mara, what is this," Luke asked, interrupting her thoughts. He was walking out of the back hall holding a datapad. Her datapad to be exact.
"Why are you going through my things?" she accused, fear suddenly washing over her.
"I wasn't," he said. The look on his face was all she needed to see to know he had read what was saved there. "This was left out. I found it when I put the picture book away. Why are you contacting these people, Mara? You have a list of the most highly sought after imperial agents that the NR knows about. What are you up to?"
"I don't want to talk about it here, Skywalker," she said, looking around to see who was still in the house. She did not see anyone, but this was still not the place for one of their arguments, especially with what this one was about. "This is not the place or the time," she told him.
"You have been acting strange since you got here," he accused. "What's going on?"
"What's going on?" She repeated, her voice rising with every word. How dare he spy on me! She thought.
She felt like she would explode, she wanted to tell him everything, so that he would feel how hurt she was feeling. "You want to know what's going on? I have no idea what's going on." It boiled down that she could not tell him. He had all rights to be upset with her.
"You are making no sense!" he shouted.
"I don't want to talk about it!!" she yelled. "How much more clear do you need it to be?"
"Fine, Mara," he said, his hands falling to his sides. "Have it your way." He turned and walked out the door. She had to really fight the urge to run after him. He needed time to cool off, and she had to gather her head. This trip was not going like she planned, and it was making both of them miserable.
Luke walked out the door, fighting the urge to turn back. She was acting strange and he had no idea how to deal with it, much less figure out what it was about. She refused to tell him what had happened on that last trip that would have change things so drastically? He had given her plenty of opportunities to tell him.
He meant to go for a drive and noticed Anakin in the speeder. "Why didn't you go with your mom and dad?" he asked.
"They said I did not have to go," the little boy said.
"Well why didn't they tell me?" he asked, frustrated that he could have left and not known that the boy was there.
"Oh, they asked me to tell you. I'm sorry. … What's wrong, Uncle Luke?"
"Nothing," Luke said, knowing Anakin did not need to hear about his problems. "I was going to go for a drive. Do you want to come?"
"Sure," Anakin exclaimed, and jumped over to the passenger seat. A little time spent with his nephew might be just what he needed.
