In Memory Of... 15 Chapter 15

Mara followed Luke through the packed dirt streets to the speeder parked nearby. It was late in the afternoon, and they had just finished shopping for the parts Luke had agreed to pick up for the Falcon. The same parts that Han and Leia had set out for but had been unable to get because of the accident. Luke had not been talking much, to her to anyone, and she suspected that he was keeping something from her. He had asked her to join him, and they had spent the afternoon going from shop to shop without saying much. Not that she could really be upset about his behavior, seeing how much she had been keeping from him.

She had finally sat down and explained the situation to him the night before while they were waiting for Anakin to wake up. She realized that she had no choice, and that she may have waited too long to talk to him. Now that she thought about it, she realized she had been expecting the impossible. She thought she would be able to convince Luke to leave her, without having to tell him. What she had not counted on was how hard it would be to act like she wanted him gone, when she could not convince herself of the same thing.

He had picked up on her internal conflict, and with the help of a situation that spun completely out of his control, he come to the wrong conclusion. In the mists of a traumatizing moment, when he could of been spared an ounce of pain had he known the truth, he had felt betrayed by Mara. She remembered that he had found out that she was contacting old Imperial contacts right before he came under attack. He had jump to the conclusion that she had to have been responsible.

The thought had crossed her mind that she should have been upset that he had considered that she would betray him. But she dismissed it just as quickly. He had been very distraught and was already feeling betrayed. The feeling had only carried over when he had saw her. All his feelings of frustration at her behavior had suddenly clicked, and he had not put much thought into it. Mara felt that under the same situation, she might have done the same thing.

She had told him about the danger she was to him. She had tried to explain that an intimate relationship between the two of them would result in his death. As much as it hurt her to say it, she wanted him to understand that because she cared about him, she had to tell him. No matter how hard it was.

"Luke are you alright?" she asked, wondering if he would chose now to blow like she knew he was bound to do. He had taken the news about the virus with a nod, then had not spoken a word while they visited with Anakin. After they had returned to the Seares' she had given him the data disk to look over and he had read through it with tight lips. She had hoped that he would talk with her about it. That they would begin to find a way to get past this. They had made a start, or so she thought.

"I'm fine, Mara," Luke said. "I just want to get this over with so we can get out of here." He reached the speeder and busied himself with loading it with the parts they had bought.

"Hey," she said, catching his arm so he would look at her. She saw a glimpse of what looked like pain reflected in his eyes. "He's going to be fine," she assured him. They had spent a good portion of their time last night talking about what happened. Talking seemed to have helped calm Luke, but he continued to worry about Anakin. He had told her a little more about the woman she had killed. She had in fact been the same woman that had killed his family all those years ago. And it turned out that she had also been the woman that shot him the last time he had been on Tatooine. A point she had not grasped before.

"I know," he said, watching her face. It was then that realization hit her.

"You are having another headache, aren't you?" she asked. The realization that they could in fact be wrong in thinking that the data disk was false was like a dagger to her gut. It had come up through the night that there was a chance that she was wrong. That for some reason the disk was incorrect. She had been so desperate to find a way out of the situation she found herself believing that it could be true. Luke had explained that the data disk mentioned nothing about the virus causing a mere headache with contact with the host, and that the pains he had experienced could have just been a coincidence.

"No," he told her. The feeling that there was something there that he wasn't telling her did not go away. She knew there was something he was keeping from her, and she just knew that it had to do with last night. During the conversation about how they could be worrying about nothing, Luke had kissed her. She had melted in his arms, not thinking about what she could be doing to him. The connection she had felt with Luke then had been like nothing she had ever experienced.

She knew that Luke was feeling lost and hurt, and she wanted to do whatever she could to help him through it. However she was unable to deny just how much she had missed him. And in the end she realized that she was getting the chance to see Luke like no one else ever did. Everyone was asleep but the two of them, and he felt safe talking with her. She was able to catch a glimpse of what Luke was like when he thought no one was looking. He was a completely different person. She now had a good idea who the person was that she had only seen hints of, the real Luke Skywalker. She had felt safe and cared about, she wanted him to feel the same.

"Don't lie to me, Luke," she demanded, realizing that he really wasn't going to tell her anything. He had been open and outgoing with her the night before, but when he awoke, he was as closed off as ever. Probably more so. "This is important. Are you in pain?"

"I don't want to talk about this now Mara," Luke said hotly.

"Well, too bad," she told him. He could be stubborn, but she refused to let him get away with it this time. "You are going to talk to me about this. If you have a headache, then we know that the disk was right. Thats information we need to know. "

"What would it matter, Mara?" Luke said. The desperation was so apparent in his voice, she would not have been surprised to see her tears mirrored in his eyes. "All your contacts came back with nothing. No one knows anything about this! So now I have been exposed to something that no one has ever heard of before. And why should they since the only person that would get sick from this is me! How would me telling anyone how I feel will change the situation? Would it change the fact that I can't be with you? No one can help with this, Mara. There is nothing to do, because if there were you would have found it already," Luke said, the desperation he was feeling, raising the pitch of his voice.

"Luke, I'm… I'm sorry," Mara said. She was at a lost as to what she could do or say to help the situation. For once in her life, Mara felt out of control and she had no idea what to do to get it back. "I should have read that disk sooner," she continued. "Before this went so far. I just should have known."

Luke looked away and took a deep breath. She wanted to reach out to him, to help assure him, but she found that he had completely shut himself off. He continued to study the horizon for several seconds before turning back to her.

"Mara, don't say that," he pleaded with her, his voice considerably calmer. "Please don't wish that any of this hadn't happened. I am happy with what we had together. I would not want to have not experienced it. You did not know it would turn out like this, and I believe that. You would not intentionally try and hurt me like that. You want to know if I have a headache? Yes I do. It started about and hour ago, and has been slowly getting worse. I plan to put myself into a healing trace as soon as we are done here and get back. As to what we are going to do? We are not going to give up until we find a way past this." Luke's voice had grown determined and strong as he went on.

"What if there isn't a way?" Mara whispered. She did not want to let him get his hopes up again. She had seen plenty of the Emperor's experiments. She knew enough to realize that one of Palpatine's requests was that the victim have no way out. If the experiment was completed, she could bet that he made sure that it would not be easy for them to find a cure.

"We will find a way," he assured her. She wondered once again about what exactly was going on in his head. He had went from needing comfort to giving it in a matter of seconds. "Untill then..."

"We keep our distance," Mara finished for him. She knew where he was going, and wanted him to know that she understood.

"That's not what I was going to say," he corrected. She was shocked to realize that he seemed offended by what she said. "I don't want to not see you, Mara. We have been only friends for years before this. We can do it again."

"I don't know if I can handle just being friends again, Luke," she told him. She stopped and thought about what he was saying. He know understood what would happen if they continued what they had started, but he did not want her out of his life. He wanted to have her around anyway he could. He had always wanted her around, even if it wasn't always the safest thing to do. Through it all, he had never really let her out of his life. "But if that is the only way… then that is the only way."

"I'm glad we agree," he said, smiling for the first time that day. "Now let's get out of here."

"Sounds good to me." They finished loading the parts into the speeder and climbed in. She decided to drive and let Luke relax. He offered no argument so they began the long drive back to the house. She suddenly thought of Arielle. Her encounters with the girl had increased in intensity, but had decreased in number. She wondered again if it was because of the house Mara was staying in. She had thought more than once that it was odd for her to stay there, but she never felt unwelcome. Realizing that the dreams and conversations were something that she had not told Luke about she turned to him. He was leaning back in the seat with his eyes closed, resting. She decided that it could wait. She had told him the important facts, the rest could wait.



Luke found himself walking towards Mara's apartment about a week later. After they had returned with the parts, Leia and Han decided that it was time to leave Tatooine. They wanted to get Anakin looked at by someone back home, and the twins had started to get restless. The Seares' had been great, taking the twins while the others were taking care of the younger sibling. So they decided that it would be better to cut their trip short by a few days. Luke had returned to his apartment the previous evening to find a message waiting for him saying he was invited to a welcoming celebration for a new member of the NR. Luke had headed straight for his sister's apartment for what he knew would be the same conversation. He would say he did not want to go and she would spend the next couple of minutes telling him he needed to go, and she would not stop until he agreed. He decided to save himself the trouble and agree to go.

He smiled as he reached Mara's door. He had enjoyed the surprised look on Leia's face when he agreed. He was beginning to think she enjoyed pestering him into doing things. He was still smiling to himself when Mara answered the door.

"What are you smiling about?" Mara asked. She was dressed in a pair of lose pants and shirt, and it dawned on him that she might have turned in early.

"No, I wasn't sleeping," she commented to his unspoken question. "I just wasn't expecting company. Care to come in?"

"Sure," Luke admitted. He continued smiling as he walked past her. He looked briefly around the apartment before sitting on the couch. He heard Mara scoff before coming to join him and he knew she was wondering about his sudden light-hearted mood. She sat at the end of the overstuffed couch, with out saying a word, and tucked her feet under her. Reaching down she grabbed a blanket that she had obviously discarded on the floor and wrapped herself in it.

"You seem in a better mood since I saw you last," she said. The last they had saw each other he had still been a bit upset about everything. He had been doing allot of thinking since then and decided that if he got upset and gave up, then the Emperor would have won. Just as he had felt when he was younger, he knew he could not let that happen now. He just could not imagine the chances that he would have fallen victim to a trap set for him years ago and never implemented. He also wondered what the monster would think if he knew what trouble he had cause this long after his death.

"So, what cheered you up?" Mara asked. He smiled again. He was determined to not let things get him down, for the moment anyway. He wanted to have a good time.

"I'm taking you out," he announced.

"What do you mean you are taking me out?" Mara asked. She was watching him carefully, like she thought he had finally lost his mind.

"Tomorrow night, I am taking you out," he told her. He had expected her reaction. He knew she would try to talk him out of it, but it was something he wanted to do, so she would have to fight pretty hard to get him to change his mind.

"Luke," Mara said, shrugging. "I don't think that's such a great idea. Going out is not the best idea in our situation, don't you think?"

"You worry too much," he told her. He scooted closer and took hold of her hands. "We agreed to cool the relationship, Mara, but I can still take you out. There is some big thing tomorrow night. I have already told Leia I was going and that I was taking you. So, you see, there will be plenty of people there. I am sure I will be on my best behavior."

"I don't know, Luke, maybe we shouldn't," Mara said. Luke could tell that she was trying her best to come up with something to change his mind. Since they had returned they had spent their time together working out or going out to eat. The times they did find themselves alone were a bit tense, but they had always gotten through it just fine without risking his health.

"I think we should," Luke told her. "We have been keeping to ourselves too much. We are going to drive ourselves crazy if we don't get out a little. Please come with me. It will be fun."

"I hate those people," Mara pouted.

"I know," he said, smiling slightly. She was not fighting him about the situation anymore, which was a good thing. He knew she was getting as tired of hiding out as he was, and it was time they got out for a little while. "I don't much care for these things either," he continued. "But I need to go."

Mara laughed. "And why is that?"

"I don't know," he admitted, his features turning serious. "I just feel I need to be there." He had told her the truth. Ever since he had read the invitation he had a feeling that he should be there. He had meditated about it for a while but had received not even a hint on why he felt that way. He did not feel any danger, or joy, just that he needed to be there.

"A feeling huh?" Mara asked, her brow creasing in thought. "And here I thought you were going to say because you let your sister talk you into it."

"No, not this time," Luke admitted. "I told her I had to go." Though their time together had not progressed the way they had wanted, Luke had to admit that he had enjoyed it. They now had a chance to really get to know each other. They could now spend a quiet evening together talking and laughing and not fight uneasy feelings they had been fighting over the last few years. It felt good to really relax. He tried not to think too much about the headaches he still got on a daily basis even though he was careful not to even so much as kiss Mara. He tired not to mention to Mara that he spent time everyday in a healing trance to rid himself of the pain, but he suspected that she already knew.

"Whats this feeling?" Mara asked, bring him back to the topic at hand. "Is it something bad?"

"I don't think so. I just feel that it would be in my best interest to be there. And if I have to go I would like to go with you."

"Well, since you put it that way how can I refuse?" Mara asked. "Besides, it sounds like you might need someone to watch your back."

"And you have always been good at that. So, you will go?"

"Yes, I'll go."



Luke nodded to yet another dignitary that stopped to greet him. He had been here over two hours and had talked to countless dignitaries and other well know people that made up this celebration. He was beginning to wonder if all the headaches had effected the way he was thinking. Why else would he have offered to attend this party? He spotted Mara and started to make his way over to her.

"Excuse me, sir." Luke stopped in front of the droid that had addressed him. It was holding what looked like an old fashion piece of writing paper in his hand. "You are Master Skywalker, correct?"

"Yes, that is me," Luke said. He felt Mara touch his mind and quickly looked over at her.

You know for a date you have left me standing alone an awfully long time, he heard Mara send to him.

I'm trying to get back over there, just give me a second.

"What can I do for you?" Luke asked the droid. He saw out of the corner of his eye Mara trying to see him through the crowd of people.

"I was asked to give this to you." The droid handed him the piece of paper, then moved away. Sighing, Luke continued across the room. Spotting another droid carrying drinks he shoved the paper in his jacket pocket and snagged two drinks as it rolled past. He finally reached Mara and handed her one of the drinks.

"Having fun?" he asked taking a sip of his drink.

"Looks like more than you," she said. She was standing near a wall looking around at all the laughing people. She looked back over at him, frowning. "Are you really that bored?"

"Is it showing that bad?" he asked, suddenly worried if he had let his guard down without realizing. He had been trying to act polite and gracious, maybe he had not been doing as good a job as he thought.

"No, not at all," she said, a smile lighting up her face as she ran a finger across his cheek. "You look the perfect Jedi. But anyone with any sensitivity to the force can feel your unhappiness."

"It's a good thing there are no others here," he said, catching her hand in his.

"Oh, you have checked have you?" Mara laughed.

"Well, no I haven't," he admitted with a frown.

"Well, well, well," she teased, one eyebrow rising in astonishment. "Thats an awfully big assumption you were making then." Out of reflex he scanned the crowd, knowing he was doing it just because Mara had brought it up. He smiled when he felt Mara following him in his search. He located Mara standing beside him, and Leia across the room. He was not expecting to find anymore, so he was surprised when he did. The person was young, and not completely untrained. Looking around to find the source he spotted a young girl, not more than fifteen. She was heading towards the door preparing to leave.

I've seen that girl before, Mara told him silently. We bumped into each other a while back.

She looks slightly familiar to me too, but I can't place the face.

She's probably a daughter of one of the stuffed shirts in here, Mara sent him.

I need to find out who she is, Luke said.

Mara laughed softly beside him. What are you going to do? Chase her out the door and grill her for answers?

The image of a crazed Jedi Master chasing after the young girl caused them both to giggle.

"No, I wouldn't do that. I can find out who she was later."

They both laughed lightly and Mara placed her hand on his chest. She looked up, slightly surprised to hear a crinkling sound when she did.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Oh," Luke said, remembering the droid handing something to him. He took the paper out of his pocket. Unfolding it he realized he was wrong, it was in fact two pieces of paper folded up neatly together. The first one was fairly new with a quick note written on it, the second was much older. As he read the second letter, a lump started to form in his throat and he found it hard to breath. Mara must have sensed his discomfort because she turned a worried eye on him.

"What is it, Luke," she asked, trying to get a look to the note.

He indicated the letter. "It's from Arielle," he whispered.

"How could it be from Arielle?" Mara asked him. He handed her the note. She read over the page he had been looking at. "Could this be true? Why would someone give this to you after all this time?"

"No, you don't understand," Luke told her. He was finding it hard to think and he wanted to know if Mara would come to the same conclusion. "Look at the other page."

She looked at the other piece of paper, which would have been the first one Luke read. He knew what it said. The words were still burning on his mind.

I found this in my mothers things.
I thought you would like to see it.
Sorry to bother you now, but I
wanted to make sure you got it.

K

"She was here in this room," Luke realized. He began to search the room again. Not finding anything out of the ordinary, he remembered the girl that they saw leaving the room.

"It sounds that way," Mara agreed.

"We scanned the room Mara, remember. I think that was her that just walked out of here. That girl was MaCayla."