Disclaimer: I don't think I own Zelda, let me check. Nope, don't own it.
Zelda Deathmatch
Part 2
By Shadow Gamer
We see a stadium with a wrestling ring and bleachers. The bleachers are filled with Hylian people, Zora's, and Gorons. Shadow Gamer sits in a box at the top of the arena with a glass window.
Announcer from loudspeaker: Live from Hyrule, its Zelda Deathmatch with your host Shadow Gamer.
Shadow: Hello and welcome to Zelda Deathmatch. Last time Link laid the smack down on the princess, and we told you that you would pick the winner of today's match. But before we get to the match, we want to ask members of the audience what they thought of last episodes match.
Shadow Gamer walks up to the windmill guy.
Windmill guy: Go around, go around, go around, go around.
Shadow: very interesting.
Shadow walks up to a person, which appears to be Zelda in a skull mask.
Person: I think it was unfair, Link used a cheap trick
Shadow: that's nice princess, you know that mask isn't fooling anyone.
Zelda (previously person): darn!
Shadow: we'll have the match after this word from our sponsor.
Skull kid sits in the field with Tatl and Tael. They look bored and hungry.
Skull kid: I'm bored and hungry.
Tatl: I know, its written down two lines up
Skull Kid: Oh
Tael: I just got some of this new serial Majora's Flakes.
Skull Kid: Let me try them
Skull kid grabs the box and pours a bowl. He then gobbles it down
Skull Kid: Now I feel as if I could control the moon itself.
The moon is suddenly moving closer. Skull kid notices something inside the box and pulls it out. Its Majora's Mask.
Tael: and each box comes with a mask possessed by an evil god.
Skull Kid (with mask): hehehehe
Skull Kid runs and steals Epona and the ocarina of time.
Tael: Majora's Flakes, part of this complete breakfast.
Link is seen chasing Skull kid. Then the Zelda Deathmatch Stadium comes back into view.
Shadow: Welcome back, today's match is Navi versus Daurinia. Let's go to the ring.
Navi and Daurinia are in the ring.
Navi: Hey, look, listen, watch out cause I'm Navi the Fairy, dig it.
Daurinia: Oh, I'm on FF.net, hi ma, hi honey, hi my son. I better do my best dance.
Shadow: Let the match begin.
Daurinia slips on headphones, which are connected, to a Walkman with a full album of Saria's Song.
Navi: Hey Look Listen Watch Out Hey Look Listen
Shadow: Oh my god, it's the most horrifying thing known to man, its fairy talk.
Daurinia can't hear and keeps dancing.
Daurinia: oh yeah what a hot beat.
Daurinia steps on Navi without noticing. However Navi works up super fairy strength and throws Daurinia out of the ring. Daurinia lands on the windmill guy.
Windmill guy (with stars above his head): Go around, go around, look at all the stars go around.
Daurinia (pressing buttons on Walkman): hey what gives its broken.
Navi (super fast): hey look listen hey look listen watch out hey look listen.
Navi flies right up to Daurinia's ear (or where it would be if he had ears) and screams this repeatedly. The audience covers their ears and watch.
Daurinia (screaming): Noooooo my Walkman is broken.
Navi: I don't get it, it doesn't work. Hey I know. Saria's Song is stupid.
Daurinia yells so loud that he explodes. The whole stadium is covered in his blood, except for Shadow Gamer who is still behind bulletproof glass.
Shadow: ha ha, you all have stained clothing.
Audience: So?
Shadow: I don't know, I just needed to make at least one bad joke before the end.
Later, Daurinia is healed and the audience is washed up.
Shadow: Too bad, take a spin of the prize wheel to see what you won.
Daurinia spins a giant wheel and it lands on Goron Mask.
Shadow: Great, this magic mask turns you into a Goron.
Daurinia: But I am a Goron.
Shadow: yeah right, you wish you wore that attractive
Daurinia (growling): just shut up!
Shadow: ok mister Goron king. Next episode we have Ganondorf versus Ruto, so vote on who should win and I'll see you next week on
Announcer and Shadow Gamer simultaneously: Zelda Deathmatch!
Zelda Deathmatch
Part 2
By Shadow Gamer
We see a stadium with a wrestling ring and bleachers. The bleachers are filled with Hylian people, Zora's, and Gorons. Shadow Gamer sits in a box at the top of the arena with a glass window.
Announcer from loudspeaker: Live from Hyrule, its Zelda Deathmatch with your host Shadow Gamer.
Shadow: Hello and welcome to Zelda Deathmatch. Last time Link laid the smack down on the princess, and we told you that you would pick the winner of today's match. But before we get to the match, we want to ask members of the audience what they thought of last episodes match.
Shadow Gamer walks up to the windmill guy.
Windmill guy: Go around, go around, go around, go around.
Shadow: very interesting.
Shadow walks up to a person, which appears to be Zelda in a skull mask.
Person: I think it was unfair, Link used a cheap trick
Shadow: that's nice princess, you know that mask isn't fooling anyone.
Zelda (previously person): darn!
Shadow: we'll have the match after this word from our sponsor.
Skull kid sits in the field with Tatl and Tael. They look bored and hungry.
Skull kid: I'm bored and hungry.
Tatl: I know, its written down two lines up
Skull Kid: Oh
Tael: I just got some of this new serial Majora's Flakes.
Skull Kid: Let me try them
Skull kid grabs the box and pours a bowl. He then gobbles it down
Skull Kid: Now I feel as if I could control the moon itself.
The moon is suddenly moving closer. Skull kid notices something inside the box and pulls it out. Its Majora's Mask.
Tael: and each box comes with a mask possessed by an evil god.
Skull Kid (with mask): hehehehe
Skull Kid runs and steals Epona and the ocarina of time.
Tael: Majora's Flakes, part of this complete breakfast.
Link is seen chasing Skull kid. Then the Zelda Deathmatch Stadium comes back into view.
Shadow: Welcome back, today's match is Navi versus Daurinia. Let's go to the ring.
Navi and Daurinia are in the ring.
Navi: Hey, look, listen, watch out cause I'm Navi the Fairy, dig it.
Daurinia: Oh, I'm on FF.net, hi ma, hi honey, hi my son. I better do my best dance.
Shadow: Let the match begin.
Daurinia slips on headphones, which are connected, to a Walkman with a full album of Saria's Song.
Navi: Hey Look Listen Watch Out Hey Look Listen
Shadow: Oh my god, it's the most horrifying thing known to man, its fairy talk.
Daurinia can't hear and keeps dancing.
Daurinia: oh yeah what a hot beat.
Daurinia steps on Navi without noticing. However Navi works up super fairy strength and throws Daurinia out of the ring. Daurinia lands on the windmill guy.
Windmill guy (with stars above his head): Go around, go around, look at all the stars go around.
Daurinia (pressing buttons on Walkman): hey what gives its broken.
Navi (super fast): hey look listen hey look listen watch out hey look listen.
Navi flies right up to Daurinia's ear (or where it would be if he had ears) and screams this repeatedly. The audience covers their ears and watch.
Daurinia (screaming): Noooooo my Walkman is broken.
Navi: I don't get it, it doesn't work. Hey I know. Saria's Song is stupid.
Daurinia yells so loud that he explodes. The whole stadium is covered in his blood, except for Shadow Gamer who is still behind bulletproof glass.
Shadow: ha ha, you all have stained clothing.
Audience: So?
Shadow: I don't know, I just needed to make at least one bad joke before the end.
Later, Daurinia is healed and the audience is washed up.
Shadow: Too bad, take a spin of the prize wheel to see what you won.
Daurinia spins a giant wheel and it lands on Goron Mask.
Shadow: Great, this magic mask turns you into a Goron.
Daurinia: But I am a Goron.
Shadow: yeah right, you wish you wore that attractive
Daurinia (growling): just shut up!
Shadow: ok mister Goron king. Next episode we have Ganondorf versus Ruto, so vote on who should win and I'll see you next week on
Announcer and Shadow Gamer simultaneously: Zelda Deathmatch!
