Zelda Deathmatch
Chapter 5
Hero Wrath

Announcer: Welcome to Zelda Deathmatch, and by the way… I'm out of here!

Shadow Gamer: Chicken! Oh hello I'm Shadow Gamer, and today is a grim day in FF.net history. You see Ganon wants revenge on me and is heading for the studio with a device that will let him steal Link's Triforce of Courage after already stealing Zelda's Triforce of Wisdom. I think this scarred off most people who would be guests, too bad. I've got one though, give it up for Summoner Ami. She recently wrote a fic called I Love you Deku and is an old friend of mine.

Ami: Yeah and here's my friend Cthullu *Eldritch god Cthullu is taking up the rest of the row*

Shadow: Oops in all the fear I forgot to add a disclaimer, who cares though. Ami was also the bribed voter mentioned in chapter 3. Now for the interviews about last episodes match, since were strapped for time due to Ganon's increasing approach there will only be one. *Walks up to Tingle* what did you think?

Tingle: Who care about it, I'm exited about seeing the cute little fairy today.

Shadow: Well said, now for the match…

Link and Navi stare at each other in an arena

Link: Finally I can whoop you!

Navi: Yeah right, *really fast* hey look listen hey look listen hey look listen hey.

Link: Ho Hum

Navi: Nooooooooooooooo

Link clamps a bottle around Navi

Navi: Ha, It will take years for me to suffocate because fairy's can hold their breath for a long time.

Link: That's why I prepared this *drops a smoke bomb with bug spray in it also* Ha

Navi: Gasp, no *dies*

Link: I rule, I rule go Link its your birthday.

ShadowGamer: I think we owe Link a big thank you!

Audience: Thank you Link!

ShadowGamer: Now when we come back we'll award Navi and then *gulp* try to beat Ganonpork.

Ad comes on with a picture of the master sword

Voice: It slices it dices and it can be yours for one hero of time!

Ad ends

Scene goes back to the stadium

Shadow: That was the lamest joke ad ever. And now Navi gets her prize, a new owner.

Navi: who?

Shadow: Tingle!

Navi: Crap!

Ganon in hog form bursts through the wall and pulls out a pair of tweezers

Shadow: That's the device

Ganon: The magic tweezers of Triforce Stealing

Shadow: oh

Ganon grabs Link's hand and sticks the tweezers into Links skin, as everyone looks away Ganon removes the Triforce of Courage and it combines with the other two.

Shadow: crap

Ganon: Plus I took these from your storage closet *pulls out the Earth Dragonballs*

Shadow: Double crap

Ganon: And these *pulls out Chaos Emeralds*

Shadow: ****. Stupid piece of pork

Ganon grows and yellow hair comes and spikes out of his head.

Ganon: Super Porkon form 1

Shadow: Rip off of Dragonball Z

Ganon: So

Shadow: Security *Goku, Vegeta, Piccolo, and Trunks run out* get him

Ganon suddenly summons up countless minions plus Dark Link in a Darth Vader helmet.

Link: Hey who are you?

Darth Link: I am Darth Link

Darth Link pulls out lightsaber

Link: Crap

Shadow: here *tosses pen*

Link: I've heard the pen is mightier than the sword but this is ridiculous *accidentally clicks pen and a lightsaber beam comes out* never mind

Ami: Cthullu get them!

Cthullu starts eating Redeads

Tingle: Tingle Tingle Bazooka *Bazooka falls into Tingle's hands and he begins firing away*

Z warriors attack Ganon and get tossed around like nothing. Meanwhile Link and Darth Link are fighting with lightsabers, Link knocks off Darth Link's helmet revealing Dark Link.

Link: You

Dark Link: no duh! Link I am your father.

Link: No! *Slashes madly and his hand gets cut off*

Link looks at his hand and sees it's only a paper cut.

Shadow: Hey, What's happening. I leave for the bathroom and my action figures come to life and start writing the story.

Ami: That explains the plot holes and bad writing then.

Shadow drops a cage on Ganon to give him time to think.

Shadow: I know I'll look up strategies on FF.net

Ruto: ooh I know a good fic *goes to NC 17 lemons*

Shadow: I'm too young to see these, hey wait a second Ganon is on the door to Chi Chi's pit *runs up and pulls the lever* darn the doors stuck but hey the wood's light weight there. Ruto look up a *whisper*

Ruto: Ewwwwww that's even too nasty for me. *Pulls lemon up*

Ganon: *looks at the lemon and gets angry causing him to turn into Super Porkon 3* Now you've made me mad *wood can't support Ganon and he falls into the pit where his screams are heard*

Shadow: Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

Ami and Cthullu look down there

Chi Chi's voice: You dare hurt Goku, I'll give you what for!

Machine guns are heard

Ganon's Voice: Get away from me!

Ami: ooh, he's not getting up for a while

*Chi Chi jumps out of pit*

Chi Chi: that hog said that you hurt Goku too, and Gohan

Ami and Cthullu run cartoon style straight through the wall

Shadow: Ahem, our contract

Chi Chi: Oh sorry *jumps back in pit and more gunshots are heard*

Shadow: Next time is the finals with Link vrs. Skull Kid, and I better get lots of votes on this one. I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

To be concluded