Animation survivor 2: the side-story ish add-ons                                        Add-on 4: the E.R. files

(David is taking Emmitt back to the hotel.)

Emmitt: This is all some sort of government conspiracy isn't it? This is all a hypnosis-induced dream isn't it?

David: According to the rulebook, we could be sued by any contestants who are part of a conspiracy or under hypnosis, so for my sake, no.

Emmitt: If it's not a conspiracy, what's up with that crystal subplot?

David: Don't worry about that, it's taking a one-episode break, remember? C'mon, I'll show you the hotel. (We see a shadow behind them but they don't notice it. It speaks with a deep, scary voice)

???: Break time's over!

(Once again, the mysterious voice is our favorite co-hosts, Rob and Zak)

Zak: What was that?

Rob: I said, break time's over, we have to start doing the menial tasks David asked us to do. Thanks to my sore throat I speak in a deep scary voice every now and then, that's why everyone thought I was the crystal subplot.

Zak: Are you?

Rob: No.

(At the hotel, Emmitt is given the tour.)

Molly: And this is the fic room, where Willis is constantly having fits of anger. It's best you stay out of there.

Emmitt: Thanks for the warning.

Misty: Oh, that room over there is where the Simpson guests stay.

Emmitt: THE ALIEN. LET ME IN THERE, NOW!!!

Molly: Oh, you mean Kang? He's not even capable of taking over the world.

Emmitt: (sarcastic) Yeah, uh-huh, right, WHAT KIND OF ALIEN ISN'T CAPABLE OF TAKING OVER THE WORLD?

(On cue, a purple spaceship crashes into the hotel, and a little green alien and an even smaller blue and white robot from a popular "nicktoon" come out.)

GIR: I wanna watch the scary monkey show. Oooohhhh, shiny blue walls.

(GIR proceeds to destroy the hotel.)

Zim: GIR, get back here this instant you disgusting, little brainless being. You call yourself a robot.

GIR: I'm a cupcake. Doom, do-doom doomadoom doom.

(Zim turns to Emmitt)

Zim: This never happened, filthy human scum. (He presses a button on his back pack and all signs that he and GIR were there disappear. Misty, Emmitt, and Molly just stand there shocked.)

Emmitt: I agree with the alien

Misty: Yeah.

Molly: I'm gonna go to the buffet.

Emmitt: Real food, great! What kind of buffet is it?

Misty: There's more than one.

Emmitt: What kinds are there?

Misty: Pick a country, real or fictional.

Emmitt: Ecuador?

Misty: Pancakes and syrup from the finest Ecuadorian tree sap.

Emmitt: Subcon?

Molly: Mushrooms, fresh from the garden.

Emmitt: Georgia?

Misty: That's a state.

Emmitt: No, Georgia as in the one that was formerly part of the soviet union.

(Misty and Molly hesitate)

Misty, Molly: We'll go check.

(They run off, Emmitt speaks to the camera)

Emmitt: Can you believe the add-ons have sunk this low. I'm the most famous paranoid cartoon kid, I should be trying to kill kang, and I'm standing here asking if this hotel serves food from Georgia. IT'S GOTTA BE A CONSPIRACY, I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT IS HAS TO BE.

(From nowhere, Dib, a kid from "invader Zim" pops up near Emmitt.)

Dib: Actually, I'm the most famous paranoid cartoon kid.

Emmitt: Wanna bet?

Dib: Fine. Person who can uncover the biggest conspiracy by the end of these add-ons wins the bet.

Emmitt: Have you noticed that not only is this fic written awfully, but that this whole idea of a bet directly copies a previous survivor add-on, and will probably end up ending the same?

(Dib just stares at Emmitt)

Dib: Okay, you win. Now let's just follow the script and try to kill Kang.

Emmitt: Good idea.  Say, why are you here in the first place?

Dib: David hired me, Zim, and GIR to be cameos, but I think we'll be sticking around for a lot longer.

Emmitt: I wonder why.

(Quick cut to David, talking on the phone. The screen splits, so we see Zim on the bottom half of the screen talking to David on the other line.)

Zim: Listen, Earth STINK-being. I won't leave until I get my money. You promised.

David: Maybe I promised because you held me at gunpoint. I'm not paying up.

Zim: Then my conquest of Earth will resume here. I will torment you until eternity. I will not rest until I have been PAID.

David: Okay with me.

Zim: IT'S NOT OKAY. You're supposed to DISAGREE with me foolish Earth human. If you do not pay me, I will unleash screaming temporal DOOM on you all.

GIR: I like doom, it's fun.

Zim: GIR, BE QUIET YOU MAHNAMYLKNALPHCIWDNAS (I think it's best you don't learn what that translates into in English.)

David: Fine, unleash your screaming temporal doom; just leave me alone. And tell your robot to stop wrecking my hotel; those walls won't repair themselves. (David hangs up)

Oh wait, they will. I have to learn to deal with that subplot. (The phone rings. David talks into it, but we don't know who he's talking to.)

David: You are alien complainer #610, what is your complaint? …… This is the 18th time you've called, and I keep telling you, you have the wrong number. You don't live here, PHONE HOME! Do you HEAR ME? PHONE HOME. (Hangs up, then speaks to the camera) I know I'm acting a little meaner than usual, but I haven't had any coffee yet. (Phone rings, David answers it) You are alien complainer #611, what is your complaint?… You say there are two paranormal cartoon kids trying to kill you with boards and nails? Kang, you must be seeing double, there's only one paranormal…You say you know what you saw, there are two kids?…You say one is wearing a trench coat and huge glasses? That must be Dib, this episode's cameo…. Well, I'll do my best to stop them…. You say you want me to stop repeating what you say on the phone? Well, someone has to give our viewers an idea as to what you're saying. (David hangs up and runs to Kang's room. Dib and Emmitt are trying to break down the door with boards and nails.)

Dib: Die, evil Rigellian.

Emmitt: Your days are numbered.

David: Actually, Rigellians don't have a number system. There is an infinite supply of everything on their planet, so they don't need to count anything. That includes life, so they would be immortal, therefore there is no reason to try to kill them.

Emmitt: Well, I'm convinced. But what should I do for the rest of this episode?

 (Misty and Molly come running up)

Molly: We found the Georgian buffet.

Misty: But there's not much there, you wouldn't like the food.

Emmitt: I guess that answers my question. C'mon people, let's go see what Sri Lanka has to offer. (He walks off with Misty and Molly. Dib stays, however.)

Dib: Wait a minute, if he was immortal, he wouldn't be afraid of us, would he? DIE, KANG.

David: Oh, no. He didn't fall for it. How am I gonna stop him? (David sees eyes and a mouth drawn on the board Dib is using to break the door.) Oh, god. I feel sorry for you Dib.

Dib: What do you mean?

David: ALL WORK AND NO PLANK MAKES JOHNNY A DULL BOY. (David then walks away. Dib is confused.)

Dib: What does that mean.

Johnny: WHERE'S PLANK?

(Johnny sees Plank in Dib's hand.)

Dib: This won't end well.

(Cut to David walking away. We hear screams in the background.)

David: I wonder why this fic was so awful.

                                                                                                            The End.

Kang: It was awful because the whole episode focuses on me, yet I NEVER ACTUALLY SPOKE. If I did, the internet would be a much better place, I assure you.

Now do me a favor and download a virus so I can easily invade your computer.