Chapter 4: It's A Boy!!!

There is indeed a Hell. You know why I can say, with complete confidence that there is a Hell? Because I'm living it right now. Annie is in the front of the bus, practicing her singing for the concert. Guess Mom hasn't told her yet that she won't be singing. Carey and Jack are singing "One Million Bottles of Beer" to try to drown her out, and Clu has become my shadow. Not that he wasn't already, it's just…well…he's never acted quite this strange before.

"Fi?" Clu asked, moving closer towards me to my spot on the couch.

"Yes, Clu?" I replied. STRENGTH!!! For the love of God, give me strength.

"I was just wondering…should we name the kid Gideon if it's a boy? I always liked the name Gideon. Or how about Ambrose? Wouldn't that be cool?" Clu stared at me eagerly.

"WHAT!!!!!!!?" cried Jack, breaking off in the middle of bottle ninety-nine thousand something-or-other. He stared at me, his breath coming out in short gasps.

"Before I bash his head in, is there something you'd like to explain to me!!!!!?????" he seethed.

Okay, it's official. I hate Clu.

"Relax, Jack," said Clu, "we're only discussing possible names for our FUTURE kids."

"WHAT!?" cried Jack, still in shock.

"JACK!" I cried, "There is nothing going on between Clu and me!!!! Honestly Jack; think about that for a minute!!!!!!"

Jack stood there for a moment, seething quietly as Carey, Clu, and I looked at him in fear.

"Well…" he began, "I guess then I have nothing to be angry over…"

"Right," said Carey, trying to sound as soothing as possible, "Now why don't we go…talk to Annie?"

"Okay…" started Jack, "But she better not be talking about names for any kids!!" he finished as the two left the room.

I stared at Clu in shock.

"What?" he asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

I kept staring at him.

"Ohhhhhh…I get it," he said, "You wanted to get rid of them, keep them off-guard."

He snuggled up to me as I sat there in total shock at his stupidity.

"You're so smart, Fi," he said, resting his head in my lap and proceeding to fall asleep.

If I'm so smart, how the Hell did I get into this mess?