How We Got Here- Part One


How We Got Here- Part One

By: Erin

Disclaimer: Okay, Cassandra belongs to me, anyone from Rent belongs to Jonathon Larson and such, Wherever I Go, Coming of Age, When Happily Ever After Ends, Les Mis and any other play I happen to mention belong to whoever wrote them, who the rights are held by and etc. Mooing America is copyright to Erin Weir and Karen Sadler. Hmm... I think that's it, and if I missed anything, please don't sue me, I have nothing other then a whole bunch sparkling water.
Also, I should probably mention that everytime Cassandra jumps forward in time during her story it's going to have it's own part... and I might have to break down one of the longer parts later on too, but that's not important now. Anyway, on to my story.

We're going to jump forward about 2 years. One of my more successful musicals, Wherever I Go, had just finished it's Off-Broadway run. I was out of work and had gone to a few unsuccessful auditions. On a happier note, Benny and I had started dating about a year before. It was an interesting relationship since we had been living together since before the beginning, but it was fine.

On the day in question, I was stomping home after yet another audition…

*~*~*~*

Once I got home I flung the door and noticed that only Benny seemed to be home. I couldn't rant about the audition to him- only Mark or Collins could stand that- but I could whine and cry.

Benny, who was sitting on the couch, looked up from the book he was reading. " Hey," he said, holding out his arms. "How did the audition go?"

I sat down beside him and forced myself to smile. "Terrible. My ankle collapsed during the dance part for some reason, my voice cracked on that High C in my audition song and during the running-off exit of my scene I ran into a door. Something tells me I'm not getting into that show." I sighed. If I didn't get a job soon I'd have to give up my jazz runners or pointe shoes to pay my part of the rent.

Benny grinned at me. "I can tell you something that will make you feel better."

I looked up at him and sighed again. "Benny, you're not going to take me to see one of those really bad musicals again in hopes that it will make me fell better about myself, are you? Because no offense, but it doesn't work. Especially since I've been in much worse musicals then those in my 'career'."

"Nope." Benny shook his head and kept on smiling. "I took a phone call for you today while you were at the audition."

"And…" I prompted. Benny just sat there grinning like an idiot. I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Benny, tell me! It's not funny to leave your out-of-work-almost-depressed girlfriend in the dark."

"Okay, fine. It was the Cameron Mackintosh people in regards to Les Misérables. They want you to come down for a meeting with the directors and producers at 5."

"5!" I exclaimed, looking at my watch. "Benny, that's in 2 hours. If you hadn't wasted so much time not telling me then I could be half ready to go by now. But, no! You had to play the guessing game. Now I'm all sweaty and nasty from a dance audition so I'm going to go attempt to make myself presentable." With that I went into "my" bedroom (I had to share it with Maureen) and closed the door to get changed.

"Yeah, you're welcome for telling you!" Benny yelled at the door.

Ah, our happy relationship. We just knew each other way too well.

*****

Upon entering the loft for the second time that day, I noticed that Mark had took Benny's place on the couch. "Where's Benny?" I demanded.

"Nice to see you too Cassy." Mark said, looking over at me. "He's in Collins and his room. He said that he didn't want to be out here when you got home because he thought you'd still be mad at him." He shrugged. "I told him you wouldn't be, but he didn't listen. Anyway, how did the meeting go?"

I sat down on the couch again. "Well, the Eponine is having "family problems" so they want me to take over for a couple of months. I accepted, basically because I need a pay check and this will look great on a resume."

Mark smiled and looked genuinely happy for me. "That's great, Cassy! You've never just straight out been offered a role without having to audition before! This-" Mark stopped talking as he saw my expression. "What? Isn't it good?"

I shook my head. "Not really. They decided on me because I usually do new work and they thought it would appeal to people who are thinking that Les Mis is too mainstream. I mean, they said that they were "impressed with my Off-Broadway work" but I don't know. It feels to me that they're just using my name to get ticket sales, like they used that Shanice girl's name before."

"Cassy…" Mark began.

"No no, they're right." I sighed. "Les Mis is pretty mainstream, nothing like the so-called "professional" work I've done before. But then again, Wherever I Go must have been somewhat mainstream if it got my name out there for the casting people to hear." Mark looked confused but I didn't really care, it felt good to talk out my emotions. "But Les Mis is so much more well known, and some of the songs, including the one I'm going to have to sing, are so overused at auditions and stuff. Oh God, what did I just do?" I suddenly felt like I was going to cry. "I've basically sold out."

Mark shook his head as he realized what I was worried about. "Cassy, you didn't sell out. All you did is realized your dream. I mean, you've told me a thousand times that you wanted to be on Broadway and now you are. Besides, Les Mis isn't that mainstream, at least you're not in Grease or something like that."

By this point I actually was crying and trying desperately to stop. I hate crying in front of people, but this was scaring me so much that I couldn't stop. "Okay, so maybe you don't think I've sold out, but it's harder to sell out when you're making films. What do you think Roger and Maureen will say?"

"Whoa, calm down, okay?" Mark set his hands on my shoulders. "First off, Roger would never accuse you of selling out, you're one of his best friends. And second, since when do you care if Maureen thinks you've sold out? She tells you that you're selling out every time you join a show, remember?"

I wiped my eyes and smiled, kind of. "Because I'm performing in a theater for the "rich" not on the street. I guess it was stupid for me to worry." I shrugged. "I'll be okay. Thanks, Mark."

"Your welcome." Mark smiled back. "What are you going to tell everyone else?"

"What? About the show?" I shrugged again and then thought for a minute. "I guess I'll just tell them that I'm going to be Eponine in Les Misérables for a bit."

"No crying? No whining?" Mark teased.

"No. You and Collins are my worry buddies, but I don't think I can go through that emotion again. I never cry. Well… except for when I have to but nevermind. No more emotional confessions for Cassy today." I remember that Benny was still hiding in his room because he thought I was still mad at him.

"Benny, you can come out now!" I called in the general direction of his door and then turned back to Mark. "Okay, that was enough whining about my life, what's been going on with you lately, Mark?"

"Well, last night when you and Benny were out me and Maureen went on a date…" Mark began.

*~*~*~*

Okay, so maybe I'm just more then a little self-conscious and whiny. You can all sigh now if you want. But hey, when you life with people who's existence revolves around not selling out, you'd be worried about selling out too.

Well… maybe their lives don't revolve around not selling out, but it's pretty important to everyone. And I guess that being successful is different then selling out, but I don't know. Knowing that they were just using my name (at least in my mind) made it feel like selling out to me. And although most everyone was happy for me, Maureen still did tell me that I was selling out. It's just something I would have to get used to.

Anyway, the Les Misérables job lasted for about 5 months or so, but as soon as the old Eponine was back they dropped me right away. Certainly makes you feel wanted, doesn't it? Ah well, it's always good to be able to say that you've been in a Broadway musical.

At least for me, the next 2 years passed rather uneventfully. A year after Les Mis began; Benny and I broke up. I guess I wasn't that upset about it, 2 years was a long time. Besides, there's a point you get to when you're not dating again more, your just seeing each other and we reached that point.

I'm sure that interesting things happened to the others during that year, but this is my story, and I plan to tell what happened to me. If you want to know what happened to Collins the year he was 25, you'll have to ask him yourself. As for me, I did a few shows, had a few casual dates and that's it.

But as I said, 2 years later our little group began to fall apart. Benny had decided to spend his final year living in the dorms and Collins was off to Chicago for a teaching job. Why Benny decided on living in dorms for his senior year is beyond me, since that's the year that most people chose to move out of dorms. Maybe he felt like he just had to get away. I don't know. Mark and Maureen were still together but Maureen had moved out to be "closer to her performance space". Roger had a new girlfriend. I had nothing, other then a new pair of pointe shoes, which were blue. My life is very interesting, isn't it? But then there was my decision, which apparently brought all of us back together, if only for awhile…