Chapter 21: Maximum Squishyness

As we ran through the festival towards the main stage I thought about what to do. This woman couldn't be beaten! She was just too powerful. She had no weaknesses…

Weaknesses…

"Stop!!!" I cried.

Clu stopped abruptly, causing Jack to plow into him, causing Annie to smash into him. They all fell to the ground in a heap of tangled limbs.

"Fi," croaked Jack, "What was that for?"

Sighing heavily, I helped them up, speaking very quickly.

"Here's the thing. We need to stop this woman before she sucks out mom's energy or whatever it is that she's planning to do. Now, I didn't believe that crap story about 'oh save us Fi' blah blah blah, I think she just wanted to keep Clu alive. Don't you see? To stop her we have to use Clu!! He's our only hope!"

Well, our only hope was missing.

"Oh, crap, Clu!! Where are you?" I called.

"Over here!"

I turned and saw Clu standing over by a hot dog vendor buying a hot dog.

"I told you it was like Scooby Doo," said Annie, fluffing her blonde hair.

Remind me to smack her when I get the chance. Ignoring Annie, I ran over to Clu and dragged him by his elbow back over to the group. Well if Annie and Jack constitute a group…maybe a posse is a more accurate term. Yeah, a posse!!! Notorious Fi!!! Where was I again? Oh yes, plan.

"So what's this great plan?" asked Jack.

Good question.

"Well," I began, "We need to lure Calendrica into the open. Well, she's already in the open. I guess we have to…dispose of her."

"Wait!! Hold on!!" cried Annie, "Are you saying we have to KILL her?"

Brilliant observation, Einstein.

"Well she's going to kill us otherwise!" I cried, "We can't just sit here and let her do it!"

Annie looked puzzled, as always.

"But…but…I…killing…it's wrong, isn't it?"

"Very wrong," I said solemnly, "Now, where was I? Right, we need to stop her. How do you kill an alien?"

"Oh, I suppose it's not much different than killing a human."

We turned. Calendrica stood behind us, her eyes blazing with molten fury. With a long cry that sounded similar to a cat being strangled, she descended upon Annie, stretching her arms out and enveloping her.

We heard Annie's cries and jumped into action. Jack began to claw at Calendrica, while I grabbed for Annie. Clu stood there, his jaw slack.

"Uh…" he said, biting his lip.

"Clu, do something!" I hollered, "Help us!"

And Clu did the only thing he could think of. He walked over to me and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me off Annie.

"Clu. What're you…Annie!! And…GAH!!!"

For Clu had once again kissed me without warning. However this time I kissed back. I then felt icy cold hands wrapped around me. Clu's hands.

"Clu, what's going on…?"

Calendrica stood behind Clu, a cruel smirk twisted on her face.

"Fi, I have to go…if I go with her, she'll leave you all alone."

"But…Clu, she's killing you!!!"

"It's either me or Annie."

"We don't like Annie!!"

"But does that mean she deserves to die?" asked Clu, becoming paler by the second.

I was speechless. Before I could answer a hideous shriek came from Calendrica. We both turned around and saw Calendrica's face twisted into a horrible grimace. A large sharp fencepost jutted out from her stomach, but there was no blood. With a hideous wail, she exploded in a cloud of dust.

"I thought that only happened on Buffy…" muttered Clu, the color returning to his face.

As the dust settled we saw a figure emerge from the cloud.

"Jack!!?" I cried, nearly tripping over my heels.

I ran to him and he wrapped his arms around me in a hug.

"Oh Jack, how did you, I mean…and what about…"

"Oh come on Fi, I couldn't just let you die. I love you."

"I love you too, Jack."