The Sage of Innocence Saga -or- Two Links and a Bunch of Authors
By Galaxy Girl

CHAPTER TWO: WHEN VIRUSES ATTACK! -or- "MOMMY, THERE'S AN AUTHOR IN MY SOUP!"

If you thought this story was starting to get weird LAST chapter, boy are you in for a surprise! Well, it's me, LL again. I just wanted to tell everyone that this story may seem scary at times, but I promise it'll turn out good in the end!
I hate bad movies or stories where people die! GG had to block FF.N on her computer except for if you had a password, cause I kept reading stuff that scared me, and there was this one story...

Um, anyway...



I tried to ignore the screaming, cause it was starting to scare me.
Link screamed out from next to me. "WHAT THE $&%^ IS GOING ON?"
Suddenly, everything got quiet.

I opened my eyes. We were in a wide open room, with strange wavy blue patterns changing and moving around the walls. Beams of light streamed down from the ceiling, and small platforms were set up around the room.

I looked down at my feet to see we were standing on a blue platform. A gold Triforce symbol was marked on the floor near me, and I was standing on a weird symbol. It looked kinda like those smiley face T shirts that you see in 70's movies. All around us on the edge of the platform were more strange disks and symbols.

Link looked around for a sec. "We're in the Chamber of Sages," he said.
"Where's Daddy?" I wailed.
"I haven't been in here for years!" Link said, scratching his head. "I wonder what that virus did!"
"I'm scared!" I moaned.
"Uh..." Link patted my head. "Everything's gonna be fine!" he said, in a monotone voice. It was NOT reassuring.
Suddenly, something even creepier happened.

A voice rang out through the chamber.

**GREETINGS LINK, HERO OF TIME. GREETINGS, LITTLE LINK OF THE GORONS!**

"AAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" I screamed. "IITTT KNOOOOWS MYYYYYYYYY NAAAAAAAAME!"

**UHHH... WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?**

"Um, he's only 3 years old!" Link whispered.

**OHHHH. I GET IT.**

"Who are you?" I said, getting a hold of myself.

**I AM THE VOICE OF DESTINY**

"Really?" Link asked.

**YES**

"Really?" I asked.

**I SAID YES**

"Really, really, really REEEEEALLY really?"

**YEEEEES! I SAID YEEEES! I REALLY AM THE VOICE OF DESTINY!**

"Well, don't you think she'll be wanting her voice back?" I said.

**WHO?**

"Destiny!" I yelled. Couldn't this person realize the obvious?

**(sigh) OH GOOD GRIEF! JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!**

"Fine with me," Link said, having a seat in the middle of the Triforce symbol. "I've heard a lot of these big long lectures, trust me, they get boring!" he whispered to me.

**QUIET, MORTAL!**

"Sorry," he said quickly.

**THAT VIRUS THAT YOU JUST SAW. THE REALITY VIRUS. I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT!**

"Where did it come from?" Link asked.

**THE VIRUS WAS SPURRED BY TOO MANY FALSE REPORTS OF THE TRIFORCE IN ZELDA: OCARINA OF TIME. THIS VIRUS IS NOW OUT OF CONTROL, AND THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP IT!**

"What was all that screaming?" I inquired.

**THAT'S THE BAD PART. THE VIRUS HAS TAKEN OVER ALL THE COMPUTERS IN THE WORLD. IT SUCKED ALL OF THE ZELDA AUTHORS FROM FANFICTION.NET INTO THE WORLD OF HYRULE, AND THEY'VE ALL FORGOTTEN WHO THEY ARE!**

"OH NO!" Link and I cried.
"Um... what's so bad about that?" Link asked. "I've heard a few of them Zelda authors are pretty cool dudes."

**YOU IDIOT. THEY'VE FORGOTTEN WHO THEY ARE. PLUS, YOU ARE IN A VIDEO GAME. IF THE ZELDA AUTHORS CAN'T WRITE FICTIONS, THEN YOU AND EVERYONE IN HYRULE IS FORCED TO RELIVE THE ALREADY WRITTEN VIDEO GAME OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, FOREVER!**

"You mean..." Link said slowly. "If the authors can't get back into their own world... We'll relive the time from when I was 10 to when I was 17 OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN?"

**EXACTLY!**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" we both screamed.
"But GG! What about her? I heard her screaming! Where is my girlfriend?" I whimpered.

**SHE'S PROBABLY WITH THE OTHER AUTHORS, DOWN IN HYRULE, THINKING THAT THEY'RE PART OF THE GAME AND LIVING NORMAL HYLIAN LIVES! THE VIRUS GAVE THEM ALL AMNESIA, LEAVING US WITH NO ONE TO WRITE NEW ZELDA STORIES! IF WE CAN'T RESTORE THE AUTHORS MEMORIES... WE'RE DOOMED TO RELIVE THE PAST OVER AND OVER AGAIN!**

"Should the Sages know about this?" Link murmured.

**THEY CAN'T HELP. WE NEED THE AUTHOR SAGES TO HELP US HERE!**

"Who are the Author Sages?" I asked.

**THE AUTHOR SAGES ARE A GROUP OF SIX AUTHORS... THEY ARE SAID TO HAVE SO MUCH POWER, EVEN THE TRIFORCE IS A TOY IN COMPARISON TO THE WEAPON THAT IS FORMED WHEN YOU RECEIVE ALL OF THE AUTHOR SAGE MEDALLIONS!**

"But... If all the authors think they're Hylians, how do we find the Author Sages?" Link asked, getting as confused as I had been at the very beginning of this lecture.

**THINK, EINSTEIN. HOW DID YOU AWAKEN THE OTHER SIX SAGES?**

"I... killed stuff?" he guessed.

**YOU WENT TO THE TEMPLES, GENIUS!**

"Oh!" Link said, snapping his fingers. "But... there are only five temples! Are there Author Sages in those temples?"

**THE AUTHOR SAGES ARE EACH IN THEIR OWN TEMPLE. A NEW TEMPLE. NOT THOSE TIRED OLD THINGS YOU CALL TEMPLES!**

"Huh?" I asked. "But... Daddy told me there are no more temples in Hyrule!"

**WELL LL, YOUR DADDY IS A MORON. THERE ARE ACTUALLY SEVEN MORE TEMPLES IN HYRULE, ONE IN EACH PLACE THAT THERE IS AN OLD SAGE TEMPLE. PLUS ONE MORE!**

"What's the seventh temple?" Link asked. "There are only six Author Sages!"

**THE SEVENTH TEMPLE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. IT IS THE FIRST THAT YOU SHOULD VISIT, BECAUSE IT HOLDS AN INCREDIBLE SECRET THAT INVOLVES YOU, LITTLE LINK.**

"ME? A SECRET? But I'm not good at keeping secrets!" I protested.

**THE FIRST TEMPLE IS HIDDEN IN THE FOLLOWING PLACE...

THE FIRE TEMPLE'S SHADOW HITS
A SPINNING YOU, YOU MUST VISIT
INSIDE THE BELLY YOU WILL FIND
THE FIRST SAGE'S YOUNG SIMPLE MIND!**

"Huh? What kinda of a cheap-@$$ clue was that?" Link whined.

**TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, SKIRT BOY!**

"I told you, it's a tunic!" Link yelled.

**OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. YOU'LL NEED TO PLAY THIS SONG TO OPEN THE DOOR! **

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Link pulled out his Ocarina and played the song.

**GOOD JOB. SO YOU CAN'T THINK, YOU CAN PLAY A MEAN OCARINA! YOU'VE PLAYED THE "ODE TO INNOCENCE"**

"Okey-Dokey!" Link said, tucking his Ocarina today.

**GOOD. I'LL SEND YOU BACK TO HYRULE NOW. YOU BOTH NEED TO WORK TOGETHER AND COOPERATE TO AWAKEN THE AUTHOR SAGES AND SAVE HYRULE FROM REDUNDANCY!**

"WHAT?" Link cried. "I thought you were talking to me! You mean I have to work with this little loon?"

**YES.**

"Dang!" he cried.
"Aw C'mon Link! I'm a cool guy! We can talk, and play checkers, and even SING!" I cooed.
"Hoo boy..."

**I'LL SEND YOU BACK TO HYRULE NOW. REALLY THIS TIME. YOU MUST START LOOKING FOR THE TEMPLE IMMEDIATELY! AND REMEMBER, YOU MAY RUN INTO AUTHORS WHILE YOU ARE ON YOUR ADVENTURE IN HYRULE. YOU MUST REMEMBER NOT TO TELL THEM WHO THEY REALLY ARE! IT'LL MESS UP THINGS, 'K?**

"O-tay!" I said cheerfully.

**YOU HAVE ONLY ONE WEEK UNTIL THE ENTIRE TEN YEARS IN HYRULE RESTARTS, AND THIS TIME, PLAYING THE SONG OF TIME WILL NOT SEND YOU BACK TO TODAY! SO, YOU HAVE TO HURRY! AND I'LL TALK TO YOU AGAIN WHEN YOU AWAKEN THE FIRST SAGE!**

"Thank you, Ms. Mysterious Voice!" I said.

**GOOD LUCK, LINK. GOOD LUCK, LITTLE LINK. AND LINK?**

"Yes?" he said grumpily.

**NO DITCHING LITTLE LINK. YOU ARE GOING TO NEED HIM FOR YOUR QUEST, OK?**

"Fine. Just send us back to Hyrule now, OK?"

** FIIIIIINE, MR. CRANKY PANTS! BUT YOU'D BETTER SHAPE UP NEXT TIME I TALK TO YOU! I AM DESTINY! I CAN REALLY PISS YOU OFF IF I WANT TO!**

The voice cleared her throat, and then said sweetly,

**GOODBYE YOUNG ONES! GOOD LUCK! DESTINY IS WITH YOU!**

(dreamy music)

DOODLYDOOP! DOODLYDOOP! DOODLYDOOP! DOODLYDOOP!

We opened our eyes, and we were back on Death Mountain.
There was my dad, looking under a rock and screaming, "Little Link! Where are you?"

"Dad!" I called.
Daddy turned and grabbed me in a headlock. "Don't you ever hide from me again!"
"It wasn't my fault!" I said. "Link and I are going on an important mission!"
"Oh, I'm so proud of you, son!" Daddy cooed.
"Hmmm..." Link said. "We need to think here... What did Destiny mean by 'spinning you'?"
"Well, I'm a Goron," I said.
"So?"
"Did she mean me when she said 'you'?" I pondered.
"That's it! She DID mean you! She meant a Goron!" Link said, snapping his fingers. "But... where is a spinning Goron?"
"I know!" Daddy cried. "There used to be a big statue of a Goron in the city on the bottom floor! It used to spin, too!"
"All right!" I cried. "But Destiny said, 'In the belly you will find the first Sage's young simple mind!'"
"I get it!" Link said. "We are supposed to jump into the statue... but it's gone! The temple must still be... BELOW THE STATUE!"
"Huh? I'm confused!" Dad said.
"Me too!" I cried.
"Come on! We gotta get back to Goron City, quick!" Link yelled, grabbing me by the arm.



What is up with that Destiny chick? Why is she so cranky? What is the treasure of the Author Sages? Are authors really that easy to confuse? And who is the first Sage? Very weird... Stay tuned to Chapter Three...

END OF THE INNOCENCE!

-or-

THE INNOCENCE TEMPLE MADNESS!